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If I didn’t have ocd my life would be so beautiful is sad 😞

Something I’m having a hard time understand and accepting is that you can’t control your thoughts. On one end, I’m told that it’s not my fault that I have these thoughts so it’s ok for them to be there, but the automatic thoughts about that thought (such as negative connotations) are what I need stop doing. But because they are thoughts, and thoughts are uncontrollable, what am I supposed to do? I understand I need to just let my thoughts be there. I understand I need to not beat myself up. But everything is so automatic I feel stuck. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Last night I had such an awful rejection thought! My mind has been coming up with more and more blasphemous thoughts. It was a rejection thought towards Jesus. It was something about “I reject J…… with my heart. I tried to brush it off and apologized to Him last night. I felt like I knew the thought was trying to come but couldn’t stop it. At first I thought “what if I thought that thought?” or sometimes I feel like my mind tells me I “wanted it” which I don’t! It’s like accusing thoughts & feelings! The more I thought about it I was telling myself this isn’t me! Obviously I started to have doubts. This morning I started freaking out because I’ve had this thought before, it was about God about a week ago. It scared me! I woke up this morning crying asking for forgiveness about last night! It breaks my heart to have that thought! I cried. I’m still scared! I need & want them forever! Am I okay? Are they still with me? I love them so much and it hurts to have these thoughts! I would never say that thought out loud but it still hurts my heart. Will they forgive me and be with me?! Any advice to move forward? I’ve been struggling hard.

Has anyone gone through this or is still going through this and can give any tips on how to make it stop? The intrusive thoughts during sexual activities are simply bothering me so much that I'm afraid to do anything like that because of the thoughts. I couldn't do it for weeks because I was always thinking about some atrocious thing, but yesterday I failed and now I'm feeling bad because even though I tried not to think, it's like I had an open folder in the back of my head and I blame myself for not being able to delete or block it. I'm afraid that avoiding it will become a compulsion and disrupt my sex life, but I also don't feel comfortable doing it often because of the thoughts. Does anyone identify? any tips to improve? I'm repressing myself because of this and I know it's not something that will do me any good. Sorry if this is inappropriate.

Hi guys, I know I’m annoying as heck. I am always on here posting or needing help. I’m having bad anxiety right now and just am so scared. Everyone says sit with anxiety or just let it be. I always just think about going to the hospital or why I feel so bad. Wondering why or what I can do. I know I’ve had OCD but it just came for no reason besides that! I’m so scared!

Anyone else’s OCD come in waves? That’s the only way I can describe it. I’m doing good in therapy for a few weeks, and then all of a sudden it gets really bad, with no apparent trigger?

Lately my ocd is latching onto my children. In my opinion, for me, this is the most painful and most debilitating theme of ocd. My daughter asked me to help her wash and rinse the shampoo from her hair while she was in the shower because she has thick hair and sometimes she has trouble shampooing and rinsing it all out. A normal, common task for me. At some point I caught a glimpse of her private area and my ocd immediately tried to make me believe I looked intentionally. I know I didn’t and I know I do not think of her or any child in that way but now my ocd has me questioning myself. I was just doing what I always do so I don’t remember at what point I saw it. Was I reaching for and looking down for the shampoo when I saw it or was I reaching up to her hair and saw it as I looked up? Did I look due to just normal human tendency to look where we know we’re not supposed to and if that’s the case does that make me horrible? I’m driving myself insane trying to prove I do NOT feel or think that way about her. I don’t want to live if this is how my brain works. Ocd is evil and this is the hardest kind of intrusive thought to get past. 😩

Does anyone ever get compulsions when it comes to texting? I will receive a message from someone and if I don’t want to respond right away I won’t open it, but if it’s been too long before I open it I just can’t until they text me again. Or if I text someone I have to reopen the message multiple times every few seconds in case they responded and I didn’t notice, or in case they read it, or to make sure I said what I meant to say and it can’t be perceived differently. This usually leads to me having a crazy amount of unopened messages, and a crazy amount of anxiety. Texting has become an unreliable source of communication for me so I usually call or don’t talk to anyone unless they’re in person

I have some questions as to how to distinguish avoidance vs. self-care. I am struggleing a lot with things like rumination and obsessing over certain topics. But at the same time I know that full-out avoidance of triggering topics/material is also bad for OCD. So how do you draw the line between the too? Like not compulsively engaging with certain things but also not to avoid them?

Hi!! I've been doing pretty good lately but the thoughts haven't stopped the anxiety is less now. But tired of hearing the thoughts. I'm a confident straight woman and all ai want to be with is a man. I've been single for years and i have been wanting a boyfriend. The thoughts are making me feel like I'm just lying to myself and it's annoying and frustrating.

So I’ve recently discovered my ocd, my brother had been diagnosed when he was younger and struggles to a lot more noticeable degree. My parents have tried to their knowledge to help him with his obsessions before he had started therapy. I’ve always been there for my brother when he’s really dwelling on a trigger. Over time I had learned more and more about ocd and started to discover things about myself I never understood. I have struggled with mental health since I can remember and always brushed it off as chronic paranoia. But I started notice a lot of similarities between mine and my brothers triggers and after researching, realized I too suffer ocd obsessions and compulsions. My huge concern right now is even though my triggers and obsessions are different than his, I feel doubt about whether it not I am valid to speak on it. I feel guilty because I have watched him suffer false memory ocd and I don’t experience that so to me it seems ultimately worse. I had opened up to him recently about things I’ve been struggling with since I was little and he confirmed all of it as ocd thoughts and obsessions. I feel like suddenly all these unanswered questions about what’s wrong with me suddenly makes sense, but I’m so behind in discovering this that I’m afraid of being honest about it, and it being perceived by others as me trying to combat with my brothers experiences. I can talk to a therapist and it’ll feel like I’m being seen, but in my personal life, even with my boyfriend I have the chronic fear that people think I’m lying

Since I was little I had a passion for mathematics. I'm currently 14 doing university-level math and have practically decided for math to be my future career path. Quite oddly, it seems like OCD started attacking this interest, as I'm really unsure if I even enjoy it anymore or not and I'm really scared because if not math, I'm not sure what I'd want to do. Is this OCD or a sign I should move onto something else?

I am having such a hard time right now. So I’m a person who suspects they have OCD. I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts about harming myself or my family, Also those of being a pedophile for years now. But the one that is currently in my mind is that I’m Asexual. I’ve always felt I was gay. I wanted to kiss boys I’d be aroused by the sight of them, and just wanted to be close to them. I always suspected why I never had a boyfriend was because of my apprehension and the small dating pool, and being in high school almost non existent one. So I vowed to just save it for the right person. But earlier in the week I got the thought that I subconsciously never wanted that, and that I was just lying about being gay and actually never felt attraction. Now I’m racking my brain of all the times I’ve ever liked someone, trying to find out if it was real. And it’s terrifying me. I know there’s nothing wrong with it but it just doesn’t feel right for me.

Hey! I don’t want to get too political or upset anyone, but I just am feeling really alone: Has anyone else been facing moral scrupulosity or other intrusive thoughts about world events like the war on Gaza? It’s hard to know what’s an appropriate amount of concern and what’s OCD and it’s kind of taking over my life.

Send any support you can for dealing with this. It is very difficult.

Does anyone have fear of just “thinking?” Like being scared to just think? My thoughts can get very racy, & intense. It can feel like I have too many thoughts at once. I’m afraid of being a bad person. Im afraid my intentions aren’t always good. Sometimes I have very negative thoughts about people. Im always scared of what my motivations are. I feel lost.

I’m deleting the app. I can’t keep doing what I’ve been doing. If there is something horribly wrong with me I need to stop posting about it daily, and if it really is OCD this app isn’t helping me either.

sometimes i genuinely believe that i would be a lot better off as dead. i hate being like this. i hate being me. i don’t want to be a bad person or a burden on anyone. it’s starting to feel like i want the thoughts because they’re no longer causing me anxiety, i don’t know if that’s down to my meds or what but. it’s like i feel disgust and guilt but i don’t feel the panic if that makes any sense? i’m a terrible person, i don’t deserve any type of happiness. it all feels so real, i fully believe what my ocd is telling me even though i know this time a few months ago i wouldn’t have ever thought anything like this. when will this all stop? i feel like the right thing for me to do is end it all

I was checking my emotions and feelings so often I no longer recognize my own emotions

I have been anxious about this one specific thing for a few days now. I keep telling my parents about it over and over again. I am going on a big trip tomorrow with my friend and big trips or events trigger my OCD into thinking the trip has to be perfect. Should I tell my Mom what keeps bothering me before I leave for my trip even though I’ve already told her several times about it the past few days I’ve been anxious about it and even though she keeps getting mad at me for repeating it?