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Send any support you can for dealing with this. It is very difficult.

Does anyone have fear of just “thinking?” Like being scared to just think? My thoughts can get very racy, & intense. It can feel like I have too many thoughts at once. I’m afraid of being a bad person. Im afraid my intentions aren’t always good. Sometimes I have very negative thoughts about people. Im always scared of what my motivations are. I feel lost.

so it’s been a few days i lost my best friend it’s been hard my ocd has gotten worse but i had a therapy session yesterday it went okay i guess… but i was telling her about losing my best friend and telling her i’m still highly aware that it’s ocd… she was like well a psychiatrist would diagnose u with ocd then she asked if i pay attention to numbers and im not for sure sometimes i don’t even know my compulsions.. but i do repetitively like tell people my thoughts so i’m guessing that’s repetitive reassurance.. my ocd thoughts were rlly high this morning like: “what if i hurt myself” “what if i want it to happen” “do i want it to happen because i’m going through a lot” “i don’t want it to happen… but what if there is a reason to” but it makes me nervous that i’m afraid it’s true because i think this happens from a tramatic experience from losing a classmate even tho i wasn’t as close with her it tramatized me bc she passed away due to s*cide and i guess that’s why it started my fear because she had mental issues and that started that crazy maze with my thoughts.. but not the only thing after when my best friend passed away at the funeral it was a open casket, she was rlly pale and it was rlly scary i use to constantly check myself to make sure i wasn’t gonna turn pale but it calmed down but then last night i was having trouble sleeping because i was having racing thoughts while i was sleeping so i guess i was sleeping very light but i get scared i will die in my sleep… my therapist still hasn’t figured out saying if i have ocd or not and sometimes i feel like i’m depressed or if i’m bipolar

I’m deleting the app. I can’t keep doing what I’ve been doing. If there is something horribly wrong with me I need to stop posting about it daily, and if it really is OCD this app isn’t helping me either.

I don’t fight the thoughts I just let them be. I don’t ruminate on them, well not in the same way that I used to. Attempting to disprove them is not something I engage with anymore. But since I’ve been not trying to disprove them I feel as though the distress is so unbearable. And I weirdly feel as though it’s now real and it’s not even OCD. When will the distress stop? I haven’t been doing compulsions. Yet the distress never seems to go away.

sometimes i genuinely believe that i would be a lot better off as dead. i hate being like this. i hate being me. i don’t want to be a bad person or a burden on anyone. it’s starting to feel like i want the thoughts because they’re no longer causing me anxiety, i don’t know if that’s down to my meds or what but. it’s like i feel disgust and guilt but i don’t feel the panic if that makes any sense? i’m a terrible person, i don’t deserve any type of happiness. it all feels so real, i fully believe what my ocd is telling me even though i know this time a few months ago i wouldn’t have ever thought anything like this. when will this all stop? i feel like the right thing for me to do is end it all

I was checking my emotions and feelings so often I no longer recognize my own emotions

I have been anxious about this one specific thing for a few days now. I keep telling my parents about it over and over again. I am going on a big trip tomorrow with my friend and big trips or events trigger my OCD into thinking the trip has to be perfect. Should I tell my Mom what keeps bothering me before I leave for my trip even though I’ve already told her several times about it the past few days I’ve been anxious about it and even though she keeps getting mad at me for repeating it?

tw dark intrusive thoughts. if you saw my last post, (ok if you didn't) i talked about my contamination ocd tied to ptsd trauma of dogs. I don't know if what im about to talk about is a compulsion, but its related. And my mom tells me, that she thinks I have compulsions related to needing to talk to people about things. so i really can't stand dogs. looking at them makes me sick, triggers memories. saying the word "dog" makes me start thinking about them in a loop that i really struggle to break/can't purposely break myself. i have a lot of pain and anger revolving around dogs 😢 it feels like people have always tried to force me to like dogs. me saying "i don't like dogs." was never enough, no one would respect it, always trying to fix me and make me like dogs. (which i know it stems from trauma and so yes could/should be resolved, but i want to do it on my terms. i want me saying "i dont like dogs." to be enough and to be respected for my opinion.) again, im angry. it used to just be a fear, but now it is dark hatred. i think of my trauma; i think of people trying to force me to like and interact with dogs; i think of asking my family to please get rid of the dog for my mental and physical sake, that it was me or the dog, and they chose the dog; of when i cried my heart out to random strangers about that last thing, and they said i was selfish and they'd chose a dog over me too. im angry and hurt and don't feel like i can be healed or fixed. and ky ocd and intrusive thoughts make it worse. i used to have nightmares about dogs eating and murdering me, as i grew up i learned how to take control of the dreams and I'd kill the dogs before they could get to me. that bled into the real world mixed woth my hatred, and i cant tell if its really intrudtive thoughts or not for sure, but i think a lot about how much i want to murder dogs. whenever i see one, my first thought is "i want to kill it." a dog passed me and in a daydream im pulling out a knife and stabbing it before it gets me. when i meet up with my family all i can think about is that dog, and how much i want to push it into the road snd watch it bleed. i cannot escape dogs, they are everywhere. i became a recluse so i would limit my time seeing them in the world, only going out on rare occasions. but dogs are still everywhere on the internet. blocking tags and words doesn't work. All it takes is one TikTok ad, Amazon not loaded, and it shows me a picture of a dog and i get filled with so much pain and thoughts about how i wish i could kill every dog on this earth. and again again, im angry that people wont just accept me. i say "i dont like dogs" or "im afraid of dogs." and they tell me im a werido. and it makes me so mad and fills me with a want to tell them my real thoughts. how i constantly dream of killing dogs. they think im weird, well wait till they hear the rest. prople talking about their dogs, sharing pictures. it fills me with a want to just confess. i so deeply feel the want to tell people how much i want to kill dogs. i can't tell if i really want to kil them or not anymore. i wouldn't, but i think i do want it maybe. not to kill them, but for them to all die. i feel like i have a compulsion about telling people about my hatred of dogs. I can't stand to see them happily tallking about dogs, acting like "oh everyone loves dogs, there isn't a soul that would hate them or fear them." i want to feel seen. even if it leaves people thinking im a monster or a weirdo. i just hate people assuming automatically, that everyone and anyone loves dogs. what i really want is just a place where im free from the dogs. that i can have a happy life without all this fear, hatred, snd distress. people like me, who understand not liking dogs. so yeah this mostly turned into just a vent, i dont really remember what advice i was looking for. maybe if you think my need to tell people i hate and want to murder dogs is a compulsion, and or is you have any ideas of what i can do when i feel like this. thanks

I'm a 16 Y/O male who always had anxiety and panic attacks. Recently my anxiety went up terribly with a fear of having a brain tumor or having an aneurysm. One night this terrible thought came into my head about killing my family and how simple it would be and it scared me to death. This feeling went through my body and I kept thinking "what's stopping me" | don't think I want it but what if I do? What if one day I get so angry and snap? I feel like l'd rather take my own life before someone else's but what if that won't be the case later on? I've tried meds before but eventually just never took them. I'm not sure if I should take them again or if they'll make me even more insane. I feel like my brain won't be able to control its self someday. I don't want to feel like this anymore but I really can't stop it. I live in such a small town with not much "therapy" that's face to face. Most of it is online. I want to be okay. Can someone please PLEASE help me.

My dads recently been diagnosed with brain cancer and has had surgery to remove it, the absolute most stressful and worst time of my life. I had a pretty good grasp on my OCD but it has COMPLETELY let loose. Is this normal for OCD to flair up and get really bad when something extremely stressful and nerve racking comes up? My intrusive thoughts are hammering right now it’s eating me alive in already such a difficult time.

For some reasons i felt a swelling in my groin area, and then i thought that it would be terrible to have an intrusive image happen or worse, having that traumatic memory repeat in my head, and as i thought that i already knew that it was going to happen, i knew that my brain had already made up its mind that it was going to replay it, i tried to stop it but it happened immediately, i didn't want it to happen so it happened. Like a self-sabotaging machine. I didn't want to go there and it happened more easily. If I just let it go and didn't think about not wanting to happen it probably wouldn't have. It's because I engaged with the fear of not wanting something like that happen that it precisely happened. But what are the scientific reasons or the overall explaination for why the more we try to fight something FROM happening, it ultimately happens, and in additions easily? It feels like I'm digging my own grave everytime, there is a point while I'm trying to fight back with all my might where I simply give up and let the intrusive image/memory happen. It's like I ultimately sabotage myself. Maybe it's because the "battle" has to end in some way and the winner is always ocd, the intrusive thought, otherwise I'd go fighting endlessly. Maybe it's because I get tired of fighting Why is that? I'm trying to shift the attention from the immense distress that this episode caused me to the explanation behind the mechanism to understand and transform this traumatic experience from a triggering experience to a learning one. For my sake. Because I can't keep living like this. Everyday. I've had a traumatic memory repeat more than once. It's hard to live like this.

Does anyone’s intrusive thoughts feel like urges? Like it’s telling you that you want to do it but you really don’t and then after you get that urge you feel like you did the action? Idk if that makes sense

Has rumination ever helped you uncover small parts of the memory your obsessed with? For me it seems like this is happening and I’m getting excited at the idea of remembering almost everything and not having to deal with doubt and false memories surrounding it.

I don't know what to do, around five months ago. I was suffering a relapse of a previous theme I had conquered, I had proven to myself that it wasn't anything I wanted, but with this current relapse. Something happened. When I relapsed, everything appeared the same. I was avoiding, seeking reassurance, etc. It wasn't until the intrusive feelings of wanting did it start to go downhill. I was so exhausted at the time these feelings started happening that I myself decided to allow myself to believe that this was something I wanted. I know I shouldn't have. It was absolutely the wrong decision. That's when everything began to change. For some reason, whenever I had these wanting feelings around my intrusive thoughts, it felt like I genuinely wanted to keep them. Anytime it felt like I liked my thoughts, it felt like I was enjoying it. However and this is where I feel like a lot of people will find me stupid, but anytime these moments occur. I'm in complete mental anguish, I'm trying to force those thoughts out of my head, I'm desperately seeking reassurance, and I avoid everything like the plague. This alone should be enough to convince me that these thoughts aren't something I want and those wanting feelings aren't real, but it's not enough. Anytime I have a really bad emotional moment, I find my brain telling me, "Stop faking." Or "Why are you crying? You want this." It just brings me so much more distress. I know I probably sound crazy, but I feel like my brain has chosen to believe my intrusive thoughts are true while I myself am refusing it. I'm so scared. Anytime I find myself typing a post in hopes of people relating or giving me advice, I find myself feeling disappointed or saddened that everything I'm experiencing is a part of an illness. Please can someone just give me advice?

How do I tell myself to worry/do OCD stuff later. I’ve been anxious for different thing for a couple hours now and I just wanna take a break. But if I don’t do my OCD stuff in this exact moment, it won’t feel right and I feel like I will ruin it. Especially since a big event just happened and I get anxious during big events because I wanna enjoy them and not worry during, or in this case, after they happened.

Someone help me i have to find a cure for my intrusive thoughts. Im afraid that i will speak them out by accident, right now I don’t have money to afford a therapy, i just need someone to help me please.

I’m soo stuck and that’s the only way I’ve been feeling for over a year. Just stuck. I can’t even deal with myself anymore my intrusive thoughts keeps winning more and more I feel like they’ll eventually defeat me. There’s no words that can help I just feel like it’s over even if it’s not. I’m soo scared inside and out

I have a certain number that reminds me of a bad trauma I have. I see if 24/7. I can’t get away from it. I feel stalked by it. I feel insane. People think I’m stupid. Even other people with ocd told me “it’s just a number” when trying to open up about it. It’s not just a number. I don’t want to get into what the number is and how it relates. But it’s scary. I feel like I’m going crazy. I can’t eat, sleep, breathe, without seeing it and associating bad luck with it. How do I deal with this????????????????????????????

I’m wondering if anyone has tips for practicing self love. I feel like I’ve hit a wall because of my ocd, where I’m upset because I was born with a brain that doesn’t allow me to trust myself, and even though my traumas and trials weren’t my fault, it’s still entirely my responsibility to fix the damage that’s been done, a task made extremely difficult because of ocd. I have to trust myself to put in the work to be better, I’ve made so much progress too, but it’s not enough, and it’s not coming fast enough. For example, I have a skin picking problem. I keep making progress and then stress or other factored cause me to relapse. I stare at myself in the mirror and ask myself why I can’t just be normal, why I can’t just stop, leave it alone and let my skin heal. I hate myself for struggling with this, but the more I shit in myself the worse my condition becomes. I want to practice self love, I want to learn to trust myself, but I have no idea where to start. I don’t want to feed into the ocd by googling possible solutions and whatnot, I figured asking members of the community would be a safer choice. If you have any tips to share please do, thanks 💪