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how do you all deal with intrusive thoughts and the false memories that come along with them?

I had an ocd episode late this morning and I can't keep living myself like this. I wrote on my journal I feel like s****** is the best option for me. What made everything worse is I requested time off on june 1st because I was going on a day trip to see my sister. My manager denied because other ppl request time offs that day and my request was already too late. It's so frustrating because it's a part time job and I'm only scheduled to work only 4 hours (I had times where I worked a 3 hour shift) twice or even once a week. Whenever a shift is available, I always take it because I need I need the money. The one day I take a day off, I get denied. I can't switch shifts with anybody because no one won't be available.I can't afford to quit because in today's climate, it's so hard to find another job. It's just everything has been so difficult lately. With ocd, my life does not matter anymore.

I need help or resources. I am having a terrible OCD episode since yesterday night! Anxiety was bad last night when going to bed. I just don’t know what to do!

I’m feeling so hopeless. Every aspect of my life has been affected by ocd. Every single part of it. Every action that I take, ocd. Every thought I have, ocd. I don’t know how much longer I can do this for. I’m really not seeing a way out of it. Every relationship is affected. The person I love the most in this world, ocd affected. I don’t have anything anymore. I hate myself so much. I hate that I let my ocd ruin my life.

From what I'm understanding with ERP, we aren't supposed to do any of our compulsions or anything to comfort ourselves when we have these thoughts. I just don't see how I'm ever going to feel better if I can't do anything to comfort myself so that I can feel better. I hope that makes sense. Anyone able to explain how this works?

Im really anxious , i feel like i have an attraction towards a cousin relative of mine , an i know ill never act on it but im freaking out . I try to jus forget it but whenever it pops up i feel disgusting like im so anxious , to make matters worse i have a partner and its giving me urges to tell my partner , an im freaking out. I dont like this , is there anything i can do to fix this or sooth my nerves

I had such a horrible thought! Sometimes I can’t tell if they’re on purpose or accidental but my mind said a thought about “I reject God” then it said “with your heart”. I immediately started freaking out! I still feel the anxiety and fear. I’m trying so hard not to cry my eyes out. I did cry a bit but I’ve prayed for God & Jesus to please forgive me! I can’t live without them! I love Him so fricking much! To have a thought like that hurts so much! It bothers me! Makes me feel so much guilt and shame! I would NEVER say that or even want to think that but my mind is questioning did I think that on purpose or was it my OCD? Sometimes the blasphemous thoughts “feel” on purpose. Please any advice?! Does God still love me?! Will He forgive me for this thought?

I love my bf, he’s amazing, but there are certain things that I’m really struggling to get over and I’m genuinely starting to think it’s not ocd (for context I’m not diagnosed right now). He’s super great but one thing that really bugs me and stresses me out is the fact that there are times when he sounds really whiny like a child, it’s not even that he’s doing it consciously or with the intent to whine, sometimes he just sounds like a child. And because it’s not something he’s doing intentionally and sometimes it’s just the way he sounds, it’s not something he can necessarily change, and I don’t want to constantly be picking him apart every time he does it. But it’s brings me so much stress and anxiety because it’s kind of a turn off for me and I’m worried that if I don’t like it that means I don’t like him and I should leave. I don’t want to have turn offs, especially because he’s so amazing, but that one is. And it’s worrying. I’m worried I’ll always be bugged by it and it’ll only get worse. But I love him and I don’t want to leave. But in that moment it feels like I’m turned off and annoyed and concerned at the fact that he sounds and acts that way, and it brings be so much stress. I feel like I catastrophize little things. I worry that if anything is a turn off I should take it as a gut instinct. And I don’t know what to do. I’m scared, and so mentally exhausted. And I don’t want to hurt him with my thoughts and feelings. Please help.

Does anyone else seem to do compulsions in their dreams? It’s hard because it seems like I am getting intrusive thoughts and doing compulsions in my dreams. It’s honestly like I never get a break and I am just so tired. Does anyone else feel this too? It’s just so weird how your obsessions AND behavior can transfer over into your dream state. Just a different aspect of OCD that I have been dealing with recently. Didn’t know if anyone else has felt similar?

Does anyone else feel like they’re just spinning their wheels? I left my last job I was at for 3 years because my ocd was telling me that the reason I was getting worse was my job. Now I’m working from home and it’s significantly worse. I keep switching therapists because I feel like I’m getting worse and psychiatrists because I’m too scared to take the medicine. I’m just at a loss and my anxiety is 24/7 which makes me just freeze and not able to do anything to help myself. Has anyone else felt like this please just tell me it gets better. I know it’s easy to say just take the medicine or whatever but I’m so scared it’s going to make me worse and idk if I can handle worse. 🙃🙃🙃

I struggle with real event/false memory ocd, I take Zoloft which isn’t helping also I did years of therapy and recently stopped due to insurance issues. I constantly obsess over my mistakes as a teenager especially one specific mistake where when I was dating my now husband I ended up hanging out with another guy having drinks but nothing happened really, I’ve already confessed this to him through out the past 11 years of being married over and over to the point where he is so exhausted of hearing it and it just opens old wounds and creates problems , he has told me to stop bringing it up and leave it in the past. But anytime I remember another tiny memory of that night I have an urge to confess or I feel so much guilt and shame like I’m keeping a huge secret, this detail is small but it still makes me feel horrible 😢 it’s been weeks and I’ve not confessed but when will this feeling go away? It’s day and night all I think about. I’m also 8 months pregnant and have two other kiddos and it’s so hard to continue to be a mom and wife and feel so much guilt and shame 😥

Hey everyone. I've never posted before because I'm never quite sure what to say. But things have been pretty rough for a long time and I just don't know what to do. It feels like my intrusive thoughts continue to get worse and more persistent and even though I know I'm a good person, I'm scared that I'm really not one because of the thoughts. It also feels like no matter what I do, they don't go away. I would try meds but they scare me and the side effects worry me too because of my family history. I just feel stuck and don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired. I just needed to rant. Thanks for reading.

I keep giving in to OCD I wish I could resist it but if I don’t do what it says then I feel weird because I’ve been doing it for so long!

I feel when I get a thought I can’t talk myself out of it unless I have proof like a voice memo, a video or a dash cam recording. How do you guys talk yourselves through your thoughts. Whatever they may be?

Hey guys, just wanted to introduce myself my names Matt. I was first diagnosed with ocd at the age of 14. I am 29 years old currently. I really had it bad for awhile then I got out of the hole and saw the light. Now I feel like I'm back in it. I've been inpatient at ocd facilities like mclean and Roger's. I consider myself very fortunate and that's where part of the guilt comes in for whatever reason. I've been supported a lot of my life especially when the ocd was really bad and I couldn't function in society. I got back on my feet but recently experienced rocd for the first time. The fear it instilled in me..im struggling massively at the moment. I find that the intrusive thoughts come in and have a strangle hold on me and the sadness and emptiness that follows. I was diagnosed with depression but its hard to come to terms with it. I feel that the ocd is just so awful now. I have experienced a couple sub types in the past..a big one being harm ocd and health related ocd..contamination to a degree. I used to reread when I was in school and that was hell in itself just trying to chase a feeling of perfectionism. I've done ERP plenty of times in the past but ceased the therapy as I got better. Now I'm seeking therapy through nocd which I've never tried before. I really hope I can get myself on track because it really feels like the weight of the world is on my back. I want to pursue music as it's always been an important tool for coping and connection. I can't explain how it makes me feel it's just amazing. I've been working on my vocals but there are so many barriers right now. I feel so sad and I just want to isolate myself. It's up and down emotionally. I'm adjusting to medication that I discontinued awhile ago and now I'm back on it. It's a slow grind. I literally feel like the stress at work is becoming too much as I'm essentially caring for others when I can barely care for myself right now. I work as a life coach with individuals diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder. I know I'm really bouncing around here on all of subjects but I feel like the more and more I speak up about my diagnosis and spread awareness of ocd the more I'm feared of being misunderstood. I think it's truly another "what if" ocd fear. It is so hard to get a grip on the ocd because the rumination is so bad. To be honest it's hard to open up about ocd in general. I just keep thinking as a male I have to keep it together and I shouldn't be emotional that it's weak. I feel like I was fed that before in my past. I honestly appreciate having a community like this I'm grateful. It's so odd I just want a big hug but at the same time it's too much to be that vulnerable.

Hi! So I can't stop thinking that I am a bad person .. Idk .. I doubt everything .. I can't stop thinking about all may past actions and I cant stop thinking that I had bad intentions in everything .. Also I keep having thoughts about what if I really want to hurt someone .. I keep having intrusive thoughts about harming people .. I am so scared Idk if I really want or its just intrusive.. but they cause me distress... Any advice? Is someone going trough the same thing?

I wrote a post yesterday asking for help but nobody answered, im writing this one hopefully ill get help this time. I want a solution to this, im so sick of this, i cant spend time with my family anymore and cant even use my phone without constantly checking every setting to make sure its 100000% safe. Im so tired of thinking too much of bad things. Please please give me ways to not feel like this again, i cant eat, sleep, think about good things, and i cant even cry to let it out because i dont know how to cry it all out, i feel like its stuck inside and constantly playing bad games on my mind with the bad ideas. Please help me i cant do this anymore

Hello. This is my first post and it’s going to be a confession of sorts… I was recently diagnosed with OCD and it has been really clarifying, scary, and confusing to navigate alone. I am also going through a lot of changes in my personal life. I recently graduated college and I am currently healing from a very difficult break up with my partner of 4 years. I don’t handle uncertainty or change very well so this period of my life has been super stressful and uncomfortable. My recent diagnosis and break up have taught me a lot about myself. I first realized I might have OCD because my mental health and— what I now know to be compulsions— became so destructive to my physical and emotional wellbeing that I actually began googling questions about repetitive self mutilation. The first result was something about the link between OCD and self harm. There were some examples of what compulsive self mutilation can look like, and it strongly resembled the things I have struggled with my entire life. For me, self mutilation is the compulsion I struggle with most. At times it has been incredibly debilitating. From there, I became obsessed with reading into OCD (I find this pretty ironic and funny). The more I research about it the more it resembles the things I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. I realized that the overwhelming guilt, shame, and anxiety I feel constantly are not the consequences of being a bad person, but rather the symptoms of OCD. It feels super validating to learn that the inner turmoil I’ve struggled with my entire life is something other people experience and is actually treatable. I started working with a psychiatrist who specializes in OCD and ended up getting formally diagnosed with moderate to severe OCD. Since learning this, I am beginning to understand myself in an entirely new light. It has in no way been easy. I hit rock bottom and— just when I thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse — I hit an even lower rock bottom. I’m not saying this out of self pity or to try to fish for sympathy, I’m just hoping that I can make someone struggling with a recent diagnosis feel less alone. I have felt very alone in this journey even as I learn that many people struggle with similar things. I still have a lot of learning and growing to do, but I am actively seeking treatment and I’m doing what I can to manage my OCD. I’m really grateful for this platform and I am relieved to know that things can actually get better. I think the next step for me is to start ERP therapy, but right now that sounds really scary and exhausting. Even so, I’m quickly warming up to this form of treatment as I research about its effectiveness. Everyday I discover more ways my life has been impacted by OCD. It’s very painful to realize that the overwhelming shame I feel about my obsessions and compulsions has actually been the reason I’ve lived the first 23 years of my life undiagnosed. My diagnosis has also shed new light on my past relationship and has helped me sort through some of my emotions in this healing process. … To anybody who actually read this whole thing: thank you. If nobody read it then at least I got this off my chest. I would really appreciate any advice on navigating a recent diagnosis and seeking treatment.

It feels like my OCD is determined to steal everything I love. It’s so exhausting to have to fight myself all the time.

How do you know you don’t like the thoughts you’re thinking or the images in your head that you are seeing? Is there a way to get proof for yourself so I know I’m a safe person.