- Date posted
- 1y
How do you know?
How do you know you don’t like the thoughts you’re thinking or the images in your head that you are seeing? Is there a way to get proof for yourself so I know I’m a safe person.
How do you know you don’t like the thoughts you’re thinking or the images in your head that you are seeing? Is there a way to get proof for yourself so I know I’m a safe person.
OCD is ego dystonic, meaning the thoughts go against your core values. That being said, there is no such thing as 100% certainty, so you can't really prove that you are a safe person. The best you can do is accept the risk and live your life, maybe you will do something, maybe you won't (I know, easier said than done).
I think one thing ocd patients have a hard time dealing with, like myself, is the time frame expected to become sub-clinical. When i was be treated for the first time, i had no idea about how ocd worked or how erp worked. I wasnt honest about some of the things that were bothering me and kept performing compulsions. It can take time to develop trust with a therapist. Some people have sexual or violent themes or maybe just obsessions/compulsions that are so weird they are afraid to talk about them. The therapist really has to put them at ease. And it can take a long time until someone accepts the uncertainty and stops performing compulsions to neutralize.
The whole idea of erp for ocd is to not know. Live with uncertainty and not perform compulsions to become certain. Because the certainty will always be disrupted eventually.
Because the thoughts cause you distress .. otherwise, it wouldn’t be a problem. You wouldn’t be questioning it.
I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅
Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?
So I was enjoying some “me time” and had intrusive thoughts, but it felt like just for a second I liked it. Like I’m holding myself back from “enjoying” the thought. And the thoughts are related to things I was into when I was younger, but sometimes I feel like I might still like it even though 9/10 I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Is this common? Or is this just denial? Thanks
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