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Recently started ERP and first I was very optimistic and hopeful about my decision and I was managing yk being exposed to my thoughts and fears during session but now my compulsions are super super bad I feel like I’m almost like a failure and that I’m never gonna be able to get better because I am doing my homework but it’s just so difficult cause I am trying so hard to resist a compulsion but today it was just so so difficult my compulsions went out of control

I have two AP Tests this week and one of my intrusive thoughts has always been that I will never get into college (I have a 4.0 gpa) I had a panic attack last night and I’m honestly so terrified I can’t even think straight even though I’ve done all I can to prepare. So now I just have to stare at the wall until I have to drive to the testing place in the morning. I can’t sleep, or eat or do anything but worry.

The visuals just seem so real and are so scary ! I don’t want to visualize any of these things!

Anyone ever experience you feel like your thoughts are so loud before going to sleep and then I start to ruminate on the fast that what if I hear voices and then it leads me to more anxiety idk if this is normal or my ocd or what this is

Hey guys I’m really scared of loosing touch with the reality.. I’m scared that everything around me is not real or objects that’s something else than what it really is.. can anyone relate?

Just don’t even want to get out of bed I’m trying to stay positive and be grateful for my life and realise how lucky I am to be here and alive but sometimes I just feel like I can’t get out of bed and get on with my day alone. It’s 12:38 and I need to get breakfast but I’m just feeling so guilty and scared of my own brain and feeling like I don’t even know who I am anymore Feel like I’m gonna relapse. Why is it so hard to fight these thoughts I don’t fucking want them!!!!! Leave me alone how am I meant to know what’s me and what’s my ocd Just feel so angry and fed up

I'm a bit confused on ERP. I understand not doing a compulsion in response to an instruive thought, but the planned, on purpose exposures confuse me. For example, I'm ordering a new phone and I had an instruive thought that said "When the phone arrives, you're going to take, soap, toothpaste, olive oil, etc. and put it on your phone before you put the screen protector on." A weird thought, I know. So now for exposure, I need to do what the intrusive thought says? I imagine I'll worry that I've smeared something on my phone before I put the screen protector on. I don't actually want to smear anything on my phone, I think that could damage it. But, for exposure, are you supposed to do this? It's confusing. What makes sense to me, and what I come back to is just letting the intrusive thought be a thought, and not doing a compulsion. That makes sense to me. It's the extra, planned exposure part that confuses me, and honestly gets me stuck in a worry cycle about ERP/CBT therapy itself.

People don’t understand how much ocd takes over your life, here’s some of my old compulsions through the years, I can laugh about these ones now as I’ve managed to stop them. Although I’m yet to beat false memory ocd. - Checking the knife draw before bed 14 times just to be ‘sure’ the knife’s were all there. - Filming under my bed before I went to sleep to make sure no one was there. - Barricading my door at night as I had a fear I would sleep walk and ‘hurt’ someone. - Video myself doing my nightly compulsions (locking doors, turning lights off, checking everything etc) to make sure it’s done. - running up and down the stairs 44 times before bed to make sure no one dies 😅😂(honestly no clue) - tapping an even number of times on each side of my body. - whenever I made someone else a drink I would have to re-do it about 10 times and video it, as id convinced myself I’d poisoned it🙃lol I mean I could go on forever but here’s some!! I’m hoping this makes someone feel less alone as I’ve stopped this now with a lot of work, it is possible!! False memory ocd is next for me , I’m hoping I can beat this as I have the above.

I don’t know how anyone does it! I’ve tried so hard to face my intrusive thoughts because I’m so tired of my mind telling me to do things over and over or else my mom will die. I know it won’t happen but my mind refuses to let me let it go. I don’t mean to bother anyone who isn’t religious but I just have to also get this off my chest. I’ve never been more ashamed of myself for how I’ve acted today revolving God. I love God more than anything and yet I can never fully put my faith in him because I’m so scared. No matter how many quotes and bible verses I read telling me to let go of my fear, I can’t. I’m terrified to even move at this point. I understand I need to get a job and get outside more. But how can I do that when I too scared to leave my bed because I know what my day will consist of. All I do is sleep because I’m so drained, I’ve completely lost myself. I just keep telling myself others have it worse because it’s true, I just wish these thought would go away because I’m tired of feeling like I’m crazy.

I know intrusive thoughts are a part of OCD, but I keep having thoughts that I know I don’t believe in pop into my head. For example, I just lost my cat two days ago. I am beyond heartbroken. But I keep having thoughts in my head like “I’m glad she’s gone” or “it’s a good thing she died”. I don’t believe that at all (but I think my brain is making me think I do). It’s really upsetting me…

Hi this is my first time posting but I’ve been struggling lately with myself because of my ocd. Has anyone ever realized they hold a lot of resentment towards others because their life isn’t controlled by ocd? For me, I’ve recently realized I have resentment towards my siblings because they live completely normal lives (i.e. dating, friendships, work) but I struggle just to be alive some days because my ocd holds me back. I feel so incredibly guilty about it all because I find myself being jealous over their happiness when I don’t think I’ve ever even been happy. I’m not sure what to do about this and it’s affecting my relationship with my family because I’ve started distancing myself from them due to the overwhelming negative feelings.

everytime i have an intrusive thought im always saying “stop” or “shut up”. It only gives me temporary relief. Does anyone else struggle with this? If so, what do you do to reduce it?

I’ve been going through what I suspect is depersonalisation for the past 6 months (triggered by a bad ocd episode) It’s been a really bad period and after this much time I feel like my depersonalisation (if that’s what I have) has gotten so complex that I’ve started to really forget who I am, how I used to act, what I believe in, I feel like I’ve completely lost my own identity. Thinking about past memories hurts, thinking about people I love hurts, I am not sure what to do anymore. I have been told to try and get on with my life by many people online and the depersonalisation will go away by itself, unfortunately that is not the case as whenever I try to get on with my life it gets worse and I feel even more disconnected. I feel like the only time I feel like I’m getting somewhere is when I sit and try to think back of the ocd episode that triggered all this, almost like I have unprocessed emotions from that episode that needs solving in order for my depersonalisation (if that’s indeed what I have) to go Please, if you’ve been through something similar let me know, have you ever felt like on ocd episode is holding you back from your life and is making you feel disconnected from yourself until you go back and process it? As if it was some sort of traumatic memory that needs processing? Don’t hesitate to leave a comment and thank you in advance :)

People who weren’t diagnosed and/or didn’t even realize they had OCD until they were older. Are there any stories or memories you look back from when you were younger and now see the OCD gremlin laughing in the background? For me I just recalled the other day how starting in elementary/middle school, and lasting for years, that I refused to allow myself to fall asleep on my back because I was afraid of my tongue falling loose and choking on it while I slept. I even just recently learned how obsessive thoughts about death are common for people with OCD, and I can recall times from when I was even younger of just thinking and ruminating about the afterlife. Not that these are necessarily 100% OCD related but…

I'm sitting in a hospital right now having what they think is an OCD episode...worst I've ever had and I'm terrified. Like I hate hospitals and tests and waiting because that starts the worry cycle all over.

it’s gotten to the point where it’s way too hard to pray. i can’t pray. so many bad thoughts at once and it’s too much and i can’t tell which ones are mine bc there’s too much. I can’t read the bible or anything. and then i get thought that makes me feel bad for not praying or reading my bible and it’s awful. ik God is good but these thoughts are scary and not okay and i’m afraid He doesn’t want me anymore and idk what to do. i try to reason with myself but it only does so much. i just can’t deal with it and ive prayed ab my ocd but it hasn’t gone away

Can thoughts or this disorder makes you want to have the intrusive thoughts to happen even when you don't and it becomes a confusing mess? Because I'm dealing with that rn and it's hard to manage.

I am interested to know has anyone here decided not to have children because of the risk of severe OCD resulting in a terrible life? How has that experience been for you? I am going through this myself at the moment but of course my OCD makes me doubt every decision I ever make. One minute I want something, the next minute I don’t!

Why do intrusive thoughts feel so real? I sometimes fear it isn't OCD and I actually do feel/think those things and it causes me immense distress.

I'm wondering if it's better or worse to tell your partner about your ocd thoughts, if you can be specific or if it's better to keep it vague bc it's so distressing to hear the specifics to people who are close or if they're like.. rocd threads. Mostly in the context of when they're strong or compulsions are strong.