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what do you guys do when it feels so real? i’m doubting everything i ever knew, this is terrifying. it feels so real. stuff i used to be certain about i have no idea anymore.

Does anyone ever have really good days where you think all these thoughts were just silly and then suddenly everything hits you and you can't escape? Do you also question whether it's really OCD or not?

I have a list of people I’ve “raped” or atleast think I’ve raped and it includes children back from when I was a childcare teacher and it’s killing me, i have these memories of these things happening and these flashbacks of maybe me hurting someone and I can’t tell what’s real and what my brain is making up. It physically hurts me to think I might’ve done these things and I can’t live with myself

I grew up very conservative and strict and it definitely fed my ocd. I parted ways with religion because of how I never felt “good enough” even though I tried to follow all of the rules. This was after my church community escorted me from the campus because of the rumor that I was gay, even though I was an 18 year old and had poured my heart and soul into to ministry. Now, even though I’m not religious, I still get so afraid about god and religion and that I’m being “called back to god” like my parents and family begs in their prayers for me every day. Like certain numbers or sayings either feel like messages from god or messages from the devil to try and trick me. The thing is that now, I finally have a comfortable life after being abandoned because they thought I was gay, and I’ve finally rebuilt and have so much better of a life. But I keep getting painful thoughts that this is all a rouse and that satan is intentionally making my life “comfortable” (which I still face a lot of stuff because I have had to grow up and figure things out myself) to trick me from coming back to god. Even though I was severely abused and harmed and manipulated by that community, I’m so scared they are right and that me fighting for my freedom was all a waste, and that I’m going to hell. I do things to mitigate this now like burn incense and repeat phrases and other things but I’m so scared that “god” is trying to save me and call me back to him, and that the people who harmed me so bad were right to and should even more now. It’s so disheartening because I truly feel like I have worked hard to find love and safety with my loving partners and found family. But to my parents, and to my ocd, I’m just living in sin awaiting hell. How do I “expose” myself to this? Like how to I break the fear? It’s lead me to do harmful things to myself, like pulling my head out, scratching, hitting myself, and some other self harm that I feel like I can’t control. It’s really impacting my life and my loved ones now who have seen me conquer so much are now seeing me in such a dark place, and it hurts them too. So the question is are these things signs from god for me to leave this beautiful and safe life I’ve built to fling myself back into a life that is physically and emotionally painful but for the sake of my soul? Or just my ocd that probably stems from growing up in that environment?

I tend to ruminate on the actions I want to take to further my financial success. I often end up not taking steps and end up not showing up for myself. Instead I write plans, in journals and on white boards, on the steps to do it or how much money I would make. But I burn myself out over thinking or am too afraid to take the next step and the next step. I don’t have the money for a life coach or a therapist right now. It’s a vicious cycle.

How do you know if it’s your ocd blowing something out of proportion or it’s actually as serious as you think. Like I want to believe that I’m just over thinking, over-worrying, and catastrophizing, but the thought that I could just be minimizing something or or just biding my time until something horrible is preventing me from being able to manage my ocd.

I literally get these symptoms right after rumination. Does anyone else? It's gotten worse lately. I think it could / likely be related to anxiety but the concern it's gotten progressively worse, to the point where I can't even concentrate a lot of the time. Alzheimer runs in the my family so now I'm worried about that crap. Like I feel like my brain itself has freakin changed (for the worse). Worse memory (because of constant memory checking), worse imagination, more stress, etc. And now daily brain fog, headaches, dizziness, etc.

I know with OCD the more you interact with your thoughts, the worse it gets. However, it is extremely difficult for me to just ignore the thoughts because if I just ignore them, I feel like a bad person for not making sure they won’t come true. Does that make sense. It’s like if I ruminate, I spiral and if I don’t ruminate, I have this lingering feeling of guilt and dread for having such terrible thoughts until I eventually give in ruminate for however long until I finally feel better which is mentally exhausting. Does anyone have any advice?

There is a lot of confusion with some aspects of recovery for a lot of people. I was there too and it's a struggle to know what's good and bad for ocd and why. It's an additional struggle putting it into practice as your brain doesn't trust the new info or perceptions at first. Can you please list or bullet point stuff that you see or hear about ocd that helps but don't know why or don't think you understand? I'm going to try make a detailed post on each one I can help with and maybe post resources such as YouTube videos. I want the misconceptions to be addressed. Ocd thrives on doubt. We shouldn't be doubting the information that will ultimately get us better. I'll post gradually over the week.

Would either of count as warning signs of abuse (to clarify -my partner has never called me a bad name, raised his voice at me, controlled what i do, or hurt me in anyway) There are three instances that come to mind that I can't stop playing over and over in my head. I almost think I'm distorted the memories the more i replay it but I'm terrified of unknown abusive relationship Once we were at a restaurant and I was in someone's way and he told me to get out the way but I didn't hear him so he grabbed my forearm to move me - I said don't do that and he apologized One time I was jumping all over him in the elevator of my building and trying to spice up the mood so I pressed up against him. The elevator doors were about to open and he said babe stop and then as they opened he pushed me off of him. He told me he was scared there was going to be people there which was understandable and he did tell me to stop. We were just playing around but what If i'm making excuses for him. He told me he doesn't like the new capri pants I bought. He never has said I can't wear them he says they just arent his style and has never controlled what I wear. I will even say would you care if I wear this to test him and he always responds "you can do what you want" I love my partner so desperately and want to stay with him but what if these are early warning signs of abuse. I can't stop replaying these three memories in my head to make sure i'm not in an abusive relationship and feel crazy. I can barley be around my partner or work because I'm being haunted that I'm somehow in an abusive relationship I need to leave. I know if i said this stuff to him he would be shocked and saddened.

does anyone have this theme of ocd that makes you resent or even hate the thing you deeply love and enjoy? i don’t have an official diagnosis but i believe to be autistic and there are this book series that are my favorite thing in the world and i take a lot of pleasure in re-reading them and other works by the author. i’ve enjoyed her works for couple of years now. but since last week i have this very torturous anxiety that makes me actually believe that i actually hate her works and her writing style which seems so absurdly false. i try to reason with this feeling because it’s foolish and isn’t a matter of life and death but feels like one. if someone had some like things i’d really appreciate advices because this whole situation is upsetting me so much i’m losing any hope of ever going back to how things were before

Hey ladies! I just had a consult with my OB about trying birth control again. I was just diagnosed with OCD and a tic disorder, finally after my whole life lol. I tried an antidepressant for a few months after starting to really be debilitated by my panic attacks and anxiety, but the ssri made me feel worse.. borderline suicidal. Going off increased it as well and then I was diagnosed. I decided I would feel more comfortable with trying birth control again tovhelp with the hormonal aspect, since I can just stop taking the pill without worrying about that happening. I also have PCOS, and possibly PMDD based on my symptoms. I know PMDD can increase OCD. All that to ask, are any of you on Yaz or another bcp? How has your experience been?

I hate when my brain makes me think some how I’ve cheated on my boyfriend I keep thinking about this one time I was with an old friend and she met this guy online and wanted to play a game with him and me he was the type to like “flirt” in a joking way but I still said multiple times I had a bf so eventually my friend leaves and it’s just me and him I felt bad for leaving too and I wanted to try and make a friend so I stayed around he kept being weird in that joking flirting way and I was constantly either ignore it or laugh it off but my brain is making think I cheated by staying in the call with him because of how he was i never spoke to him since cause he said something really really weird towards the end and I told my friend and we cut him off and I feel like if I told my bf he would leave because I think that he’d think that I cheated on him I just wanted to try and get to know the guy I didn’t want anything more than that it wasn’t just towards me he was doing it with her too I fear I’m about to give into a compulsion and tell my bf due to the anxiety

Explain to me what reassurance is to you. Explain why it's bad for ocd compared to other mental health issues and brain disorders. I keep seeing that reassurance is bad everywhere but feel like the majority don't understand what it is or why it's bad. Don't be scared to put down a wrong answer, give it a go. This to help the nocd community learn as a whole.

Hey everyone, quick question: I’ve noticed a trend that my intrusive thoughts, when I’m not stressed or anxious, don’t really bother me and I barely focus on them. But, when I’m anxious and stressed, the thoughts become sticky and I dwell on them and potentially go down the “OCD hole”. Does anyone else have this process with their OCD? If so, how do you get out of the trap? ERP doesn’t do much as it’s not the OCD that’s causing the anxiety and stress.

Has anyone got any tips on how to fight the feeling of wanting to avoid and escape? That’s my main compulsion, wanting to sleep to avoid my thoughts and feelings but I can’t spend my life in bed. I have a young son! I’ve fought this before but it’s so difficult. Anyone know a way to make it any easier? The feeling is so intense

recently got a rlly rlly good experience w my bfs friends the 4 of us spent all day together just talking and connecting and it was particularly happy cause me my bf and his friend who i used to have problems with and stuff but i lwk always wanted his validation / approval. we were on adderall (legally & prescribed to all 3 of us because we have adhd) which i think added to the element of happiness in the air i was too positive abt everything. anyway i bonded w them super well felt so happy about the experience it lasted hours it was just me explaining sm things that happened to me and them defending me it was great. then that night me and the friend stayed up all night talking because we were both up from the adderall since we took it too late, and i know that sounds weird but it was very much okay with my bf he wants me and this friend specifically to patch things up and we built the foundation that it would be ok for me to do that w this friend i wouldnt w others but this friend is all platonic. and this friend and i actually have a traumatic past being involved w the same girl and it traumatized us so badly so yesterday we talked for hours and hours abt how i try to be genuine & we debriefed that trauma and a million other deep life things ofc. but part of me feels so weird because what if im trauma bonded to him and catch feelimgs which i don't want at all and when i was w my bf today i felt so weird maybe bcs of these thoughts and the lack of sleep and the come down but i automatically assumed it means im not interested / in love since i cant physically feel it but i want to be in love w my bf forever no one else. but what if i do like this other guy and today i had a super split 1 second of jealousy w him and then it went away and i wanted him to hang out w us today but when i thought he wasnt or when i tried getting him earlier w my bf and he wasnt there i cant tell if i was too sad or if i just didnt wanna be there without my bfs friend which i do NOTTT want whatsoever which is why im stressed. me and my bf been spending last 3-4 days all day long but im scared im not enjoying it how i would if i loved him even tho i want to desperately and am kind of sure i do but this new bond is insanely heavy and i can usually adapt to a new guy friendship easily but this one stressed me out bcs the conversation was intense but i need advice is this ocd like is this a normal response will it wear off so i go back to good w my bf?

My mind is racing all the time and I can’t concentrate on almost anything. Music constantly in my head that I don’t want. Can’t stop it.

I am a 25 year old woman who is currently interning at a high school. I keep finding myself saying in my head, “Oh that guy is cute,” when he is literally a high schooler. I would never date someone younger than 23. It’s more of a thought like oh he’s a cute kid. I just keep obsessing over it. Some of my friends have told me its normal to think someone is attractive as long as your not going to date them, but it just feels yucky since they are literally minors. I feel like a normal person wouldn’t think like this, and im just super struggling.

My OCD tends to get really triggered by quotes, different instagram posts, TikTok’s etc. I keep having reoccurring thoughts that I did something to cheat on my boyfriend early on (we have been dating for 6 years) with guy friends I had on Snapchat at the time. Not too long ago I saw a quote saying “someone from your past is going to resurface unexpectedly”. I saw this quote at the same time I was having this horrible OCD flare up. My OCD seems to connect itself to different things like this quote. In my head this means it’s conformation that I did something and now something is going to come up and ruin my relationship even tho I don’t remember doing anything. Then today, I saw a instagram post saying that “Because of our faith in Jesus, we learn that nothing is random or meaningless”. This triggered my OCD again because now I think that I didn’t see the quote “someone from your past is going to resurface unexpectedly” on accident and that it means I did something bad. I also always see quotes in instagram saying “don’t ignore the signs you asked God to show you” and it really messes with my head. Does anyone else deal with this. I feel like it’s completely irrational but my OCD attaches itself to different things and patterns trying to prove to my mind I did something wrong. I prayed to God for a sign and to just reveal to me if I did anything and don’t remember. Is this a sign I did something wrong or is it my OCD?