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the NOCD Community

Does anyone ever have really good days where you think all these thoughts were just silly and then suddenly everything hits you and you can't escape? Do you also question whether it's really OCD or not?

I have a list of people I’ve “raped” or atleast think I’ve raped and it includes children back from when I was a childcare teacher and it’s killing me, i have these memories of these things happening and these flashbacks of maybe me hurting someone and I can’t tell what’s real and what my brain is making up. It physically hurts me to think I might’ve done these things and I can’t live with myself

How do you know if it’s your ocd blowing something out of proportion or it’s actually as serious as you think. Like I want to believe that I’m just over thinking, over-worrying, and catastrophizing, but the thought that I could just be minimizing something or or just biding my time until something horrible is preventing me from being able to manage my ocd.

I literally get these symptoms right after rumination. Does anyone else? It's gotten worse lately. I think it could / likely be related to anxiety but the concern it's gotten progressively worse, to the point where I can't even concentrate a lot of the time. Alzheimer runs in the my family so now I'm worried about that crap. Like I feel like my brain itself has freakin changed (for the worse). Worse memory (because of constant memory checking), worse imagination, more stress, etc. And now daily brain fog, headaches, dizziness, etc.

I know with OCD the more you interact with your thoughts, the worse it gets. However, it is extremely difficult for me to just ignore the thoughts because if I just ignore them, I feel like a bad person for not making sure they won’t come true. Does that make sense. It’s like if I ruminate, I spiral and if I don’t ruminate, I have this lingering feeling of guilt and dread for having such terrible thoughts until I eventually give in ruminate for however long until I finally feel better which is mentally exhausting. Does anyone have any advice?

There is a lot of confusion with some aspects of recovery for a lot of people. I was there too and it's a struggle to know what's good and bad for ocd and why. It's an additional struggle putting it into practice as your brain doesn't trust the new info or perceptions at first. Can you please list or bullet point stuff that you see or hear about ocd that helps but don't know why or don't think you understand? I'm going to try make a detailed post on each one I can help with and maybe post resources such as YouTube videos. I want the misconceptions to be addressed. Ocd thrives on doubt. We shouldn't be doubting the information that will ultimately get us better. I'll post gradually over the week.

does anyone have this theme of ocd that makes you resent or even hate the thing you deeply love and enjoy? i don’t have an official diagnosis but i believe to be autistic and there are this book series that are my favorite thing in the world and i take a lot of pleasure in re-reading them and other works by the author. i’ve enjoyed her works for couple of years now. but since last week i have this very torturous anxiety that makes me actually believe that i actually hate her works and her writing style which seems so absurdly false. i try to reason with this feeling because it’s foolish and isn’t a matter of life and death but feels like one. if someone had some like things i’d really appreciate advices because this whole situation is upsetting me so much i’m losing any hope of ever going back to how things were before

Explain to me what reassurance is to you. Explain why it's bad for ocd compared to other mental health issues and brain disorders. I keep seeing that reassurance is bad everywhere but feel like the majority don't understand what it is or why it's bad. Don't be scared to put down a wrong answer, give it a go. This to help the nocd community learn as a whole.

Hey everyone, quick question: I’ve noticed a trend that my intrusive thoughts, when I’m not stressed or anxious, don’t really bother me and I barely focus on them. But, when I’m anxious and stressed, the thoughts become sticky and I dwell on them and potentially go down the “OCD hole”. Does anyone else have this process with their OCD? If so, how do you get out of the trap? ERP doesn’t do much as it’s not the OCD that’s causing the anxiety and stress.

Has anyone got any tips on how to fight the feeling of wanting to avoid and escape? That’s my main compulsion, wanting to sleep to avoid my thoughts and feelings but I can’t spend my life in bed. I have a young son! I’ve fought this before but it’s so difficult. Anyone know a way to make it any easier? The feeling is so intense

My mind is racing all the time and I can’t concentrate on almost anything. Music constantly in my head that I don’t want. Can’t stop it.

I am a 25 year old woman who is currently interning at a high school. I keep finding myself saying in my head, “Oh that guy is cute,” when he is literally a high schooler. I would never date someone younger than 23. It’s more of a thought like oh he’s a cute kid. I just keep obsessing over it. Some of my friends have told me its normal to think someone is attractive as long as your not going to date them, but it just feels yucky since they are literally minors. I feel like a normal person wouldn’t think like this, and im just super struggling.

My OCD tends to get really triggered by quotes, different instagram posts, TikTok’s etc. I keep having reoccurring thoughts that I did something to cheat on my boyfriend early on (we have been dating for 6 years) with guy friends I had on Snapchat at the time. Not too long ago I saw a quote saying “someone from your past is going to resurface unexpectedly”. I saw this quote at the same time I was having this horrible OCD flare up. My OCD seems to connect itself to different things like this quote. In my head this means it’s conformation that I did something and now something is going to come up and ruin my relationship even tho I don’t remember doing anything. Then today, I saw a instagram post saying that “Because of our faith in Jesus, we learn that nothing is random or meaningless”. This triggered my OCD again because now I think that I didn’t see the quote “someone from your past is going to resurface unexpectedly” on accident and that it means I did something bad. I also always see quotes in instagram saying “don’t ignore the signs you asked God to show you” and it really messes with my head. Does anyone else deal with this. I feel like it’s completely irrational but my OCD attaches itself to different things and patterns trying to prove to my mind I did something wrong. I prayed to God for a sign and to just reveal to me if I did anything and don’t remember. Is this a sign I did something wrong or is it my OCD?

The compulsions are just terrible. I don’t want to do them but some are so automatic and I need the relief so badly. I try to hold them off, and I stopped ERP but I think I should restart it.

How is one supposed to be okay with uncertainty? I don’t think I ever will be. Uncertainty on wether I am a monster, or if I’ll go to jail, or that my family and all of society will shun me and be disgusted with me. I have a real event with false memory and the number one think I find myself saying is I don’t know. I don’t know if I did or didn’t do that I don’t know if my memory is accurate or not I just don’t know. The guilt I wake up with everyday is suffocating and I don’t even know if it’s deserved or not. I don’t know what to do anymore I fear death is the only way out. I hate that I feel sorry for myself I don’t deserve anything at all.

About eight years ago now someone started impersonating me and posting sexually explicit messages on Craigslist using my phone number, instructing people to call or message me with a code phrase that included a comment about my vagina. He also opened an email in the format firstname.lastname@domain.com and messaged a bunch of casting directors and agents with photos pulled from my Facebook page and suggesting that I would do sexual favors for an opportunity. As an example, one photo was me in the booth doing voiceover and the text underneath was “Wait til you see what else I can do with my mouth…” The only reason I was able to get my Actors Access account back was one of the admin noticed that the explicit email’s address didn’t match what was registered in my account. I remember she just said “Poor girl” before we hung up as this was obviously something that was just… going to happen I guess. He also sent handwritten letters to prisoners —mostly convicted for violent crimes—which included more photos pulled from my Facebook account. I’m in the process of looking for other career opportunities, and one person I was in communication with hasn’t reached out in a couple weeks, which is a little concerning as he was pretty quick to get back to me before, but also a little par for the course in the entertainment industry. And I think I know who the impersonator was and he seemed to only operate using info he had: photos from social media bc we were online friends, my address bc he had come over before, my phone number of course because we would text. And he’s blocked everywhere and I’ve moved and we haven’t spoken in years but every time I don’t get the job or I don’t get a call back or whatever that sticky thought just won’t leave and it makes me so anxious about persuing better opportunities and it’s so unfair how much that experience can still effect me and I can’t stop thinking about and I know that I’ve done all that I’ve done and I’m continuing to stay vigilant, but it’s this thing where I *have* to know whether or not it’s him in the background pulling the strings. How do I live with this fear and keep going?

Hey everyone, Ive recently started taking meds for my ocd which has gotten bad over the last year. Ive done some light research on the side effects which has me worried a bit. Havent faced any so far but I am scared of having sexual dysfunction, decreased libido, or massive weight gain. Would love to know your guys thoughts on how you’ve navigated this.

Everyday I wake up and I work hard to figure out how I can become a better version of myself, as if myself at this point in time and anything before this was a “worse” version of myself. I didn’t realize this was ocd until I was diagnosed but ever since I was young, I have never felt ok with who I am and it’s the reason why I even persue my dream so ruthlessly, Making music is my passion but ocd completely ruins it for me. Does anyone else feel like their ego is shattered or that they are stuck in their own head and can’t see through their own eyes?

Been having some harm intrusive thoughts tonight when trying to sleep and I really wanted to vent but then I got scared that if I discussed it out loud or wrote it over text that the devil/one of his demons would hear and tempt someone to do something harmful to me/those I love. I have therapy tomorrow but now feel like I can’t tell her what I’m going through because of this fear. Any help?

i wake up with bad racing and intrusive thoughts. had a super bad one about hurting my dog and now i’m having a hard time being around her. i’m so sad