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the NOCD Community

I don’t know if it’s ocd and I just wanna ask someone “if it’s causing me stress means it’s not real?” And I know that’s the worst thing I can do but still😫😫😫😫😫😫

ocd has been apart of my life since i was really little. and it’s taken over my life completely, causing other mental illness’ like anxiety. it’s hard for me to even get a job because i get so anxious and feel like everyone hates me. i haven’t worked in a really long time because i’m too scared of what people will think of me. i’m perfectly normal but i feel like i’ve been isolated from people besides my family for so long that i don’t know how to interact. i’ve never once been on a medication to treat any of my mental illness’ because i’m scared it will get rid of my the creativeness that ocd has given me (throughout the years i coped with it by trying to see the positive in my ocd even though it has hurt me so much) but i feel like i can’t move forward without facing these problems i have. does therapy/medication help? i need to feel happy again

Is it normal to be a month into ERP and still obsessing. On average how long before it makes it go away. I feel like its making it worse.

How can I go about getting a proper diagnosis if my health care provider isn’t knowledgeable about OCD? Right now I’m going through a lot of “pure” OCD thoughts surrounding things like relationships and I’m worried if I try to get diagnosed my provider would overlook it because my obsessions and compulsions are mental. I also only really have one theme at a time, so it becomes tough when all the question they ask are nothing about the theme I’m struggling with currently. I don’t know what to do. I feel like if I’m not officially diagnosed that I’m lying to myself and to others.

Anyone else get a really horrible intrusive thought then it just replays on loop in your Brain like literally the same sentence over and over and over again!!

Having a tough morning today. Yesterday afternoon and evening was good and felt at peace. A thought popped into my mind last night and now in a spiral this morning. Trying to sit with it and not engage with all the intrusive thoughts.

Kinda really anxious because I am afraid I might have borderline personality disorder, except I constantly am afraid that I might have mental disorders that I’m not diagnosed with. Wondering if other people with OCD deal with themes of obsession over mental disorders. Or if this is borderline personality disorder, and instead I am creating different personalities based on different disorders I keep thinking I have. I have been diagnosed with OCD but in my comments it was mentioned that I showed some symptoms of OCPD and BPD but not enough to diagnose

I need help someone plz help I keep getting thoughts and physical urges about girls and I feel that I’m getting aroused. I don’t know what to do I don’t want to be with a girl I keep getting images about my sister arms and I xojld care her veins and I know that I like men with veiny arms but I keep getting a reliant that I like My sister with it I don’t what to do I don’t have anyone to talk to u I feel like I am alone. In Islam I don’t know if it’s true or not but god says to the fetus 77 times if u want to come to this world and god shows his or her life to it till his death. I wonder what did I see in this world that I agreed to come here I don’t want to live anymore I’ve had enough no one understand I want to go back to normal I don’t want to be with a girl I’ve never imagined my life with a girl I’m having 5 tablets a day of medication and I’m becoming worse I can’t focus I can’t remember certain things

Keep in mind I’m Muslim. So today I was just going through my pictures and remembered how many months ago, there was an instance where I showed someone something on my camera roll, and I think they may have seen a picture of me without my hijab in the pictures below. They said something along the lines of not wanting to scroll through the other pictures (or something, I’m not sure but I feel like it indicated that they may have seen the picture). I did not think much of it in the moment but remembering it now is bringing me so much anxiety. I know I can’t guarantee if they saw it or not. And if they did, that makes me feel horrible. I don’t know if I should tell my partner this right now, because I know I would want to know if someone accidentally saw a pic of my partner. I know I can’t control these accidents but not telling him in the moment when it happened is making me feel terrible. What do I do?

I was so tired today until I turned off the lights and got into bed. Everytime im in bed I start ruminating and panicking and it just doesn’t stop. Sometimes I won’t be able to calm down until it’s 4 am. I’m just so frustrated

So a few weeks back I shared that I was called in to speak with counselors at my school about a film project that I'm in the process of making. I decided to make it about raising awarness on ocd focusing on the more taboo parts since nobody likes to talk about them. I covered sexual and violent intrusive thoughts plus groinal responses, urges, and intrusive thoughts that can sound demanding like "i am this bad thing" or "i will do that bad thing". They said that they believed me and the information on my script and that they were just making sure that I was ok and doing alr with my disorder. They asked if they could speak with my therapist and I said yes because I wanted them to learn more with her. I gave them her info and then a few days later I got called in again to speak with counselors again, plus the principal AND vice principal, AND the school cop bc according to the counselors my therapist said that I had pocd and since I have an internship through the school where I leave campus to go work with kids it would be "too triggering" to be around them for so much time. I felt horribly betrayed by my therapist and in our following therapy session I spoke to her about how upset I was that she did that bc the school DID end up removing me from my internship but then she showed me PROOF that it was never her original idea but the counselors' idea bc my script brought up a demanding intrusive thought on pocd. I NEVER spoke in the first person in my script and never shared my own personal experiences but since I raised awarness on all of these taboo themes and even in ways where they sounded demanding the counselors simply ACCUSED me of having pocd without any evidence and accused me of being a pedophile. I've been told by many people that what they did is discrimination and that I should take legal action and sue which I'm in the process of trying to get a lawyer consultation but I'm in my senior year and I'm just dealing with so many things already. I fear being counter sued and the crazy possibility that I might get arrested w no evidence. I also fear graduation being at risk and my part time employment AT THE SAME PLACE THAT I HAD THAT INTERNSHIP AT being at risk. I also wanna study to become a teacher and actually DO have pocd so this whole situation has been really triggering to me and I've experienced a lot of setbacks due to the discrimination I faced from school admin. I turned 18 days before being discriminated against so I don't have to have my parents involved in the case (who I haven't fully opened up to abt my pocd), but I'm just glad it probably means they won't fully find out abt this situation. Any advice, tips, lawyers in south florida?

even though i really don’t want to kill anyone, it feels inevitable. like one day i’m going to snap and it’s going to happen. the thought of that keeps me so scared and stuck.

My mom wont let me go on medication, I don’t know what to do. I just want my mind to go quiet, everyone hates me and my boyfriend is also annoyed and made fun of my OCD. I just feel so alone

I need some help, my intrusive thoughts and counting compulsions have been very present during seggs with my boyfriend. Does anyone know how to deal with this?

I am going to talk about medications. Please do not read if you feel triggered. Hi, first of all I'll talk about my OCD. I think I have pure OCD and other types of OCD that I can't categoryzing. I always feel anxious about forbiden sexual things (behaviors, thoughts etc.), betraying friend of valentine, having doubts about myself such as "am I a pedo? Did I feel discomfort when I felt gronial responses?" etc. Because of my OCD I am having trouble in my life especially socially. I broke up with my boyfriends, I had lots of arguments with my friends, once I even talk about my obsessions with my brother (he is kind to me but I felt weird). Also my educatinal performance, my daily life, my health, diet is getting worse. Because I can't find the energy that I need. I start my therapy journey 3 months ago. I tried to have therapy before but I dropped out. But now I have really trouble with my OCD. I use Selectra (100 mg) medication. It is an SSRI. I don't think it is enough for me. Tomorrow I have an appoinment. I am going to talk about this. I need to talk about medicines actually. I know it might be dangerous. But at least I need to learn what are medicines that actually help to OCD. What are you using and how it feels?

NF. I didn't even know I had ocd until an old friend of mine introduced me to NF. He has Ocd and raps/ sings about his struggles. I just want to share some of his tracks that helped me. The search Leave me alone If you want love Time Happy Hope

Hello, So I am On the waiting for list for ERP. I have looked into it , as I am nervous for It however I’ve heard that it’s quite difficult and can be mentally straining. I am quite stubborn in myself , as like I don’t want to change myself . As I am scared , worried, and I have been managing for a while now. Why do I need to change. However , I know it’s for the best. Basically I am asking. Has anyone done ERP - how did you feel. Also , how many sessions is there. As I’m worried if it s a maximum I feel like I’m being rushed.

So just to clarify, I don't want or need reassurance. I'm just venting. Today I'm selling a car to a big dealer that's a multi million pound business and I'm going to lie to get a bit more money because I've struggled financially so bad for the last year. I know they'll end up just auctioning it off. It stresses me out due to my moral scrupolosity so this is erp for me. Lies, especially white lies caused a lot of grief for me during my life so its hard for me to justify doing it. This is more a case of needs over wants. Gahhhhh 🤯😞

hii everyone, so, it has been about 2 or 3 years I’d say since I’ve been dealing with this. let’s just get right into it, so first, whatever I have (which might be OCD, I’m not entirely sure what it is) has taken over basically most of my childhood, and what kills me is that I’ll never get it back. one thing I know is that im not normal, i now get sleepless nights. why you may ask? because of my horrifying thoughts, “if you don’t look up you’ll be praying to the devil and you’ll go to hell!” “if you don’t say ‘God bless them’ their condition will happen to you!” “if you don’t say ‘good yetho 2x’ (idek..) ‘your mom will die 5x’ you’ll die and forget how to read. “if you don’t put your arms up, look directly up at the ceiling because if you look down you’ll pray to the devil so you need to look up, and say ‘Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you forgive me for my sins in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.’ you’ll go straight to hell!” or whenever I touch a wall, i need to touch it with my small finger because if I touch it twice with my pointer finger my body will go to hell. it’s an endless cycle, and what’s even worse is that I may never be able to get help. I’ll never get that life back that I wanna live, and it kills me. I’ve named most of the compulsions and obsessions I have and I have 18 compulsions that are physical and about 5 obsessions that I really don’t wanna name right now. anyway, i really don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve done a lot of research regarding around disorders, and it’s safe to say that I may have OCD. Now, do i want ocd? absolutely not. however, there’s a family member in my family who has it. so the chances of me having it are strong, i don’t think I’m able to get better until I’m 18. an adult. I’m 12 years old, my mom has noticed my compulsions and me repeating certain words. but she does nothing, absolutely nothing. instead, she just argues with me over it. if I ever tell my mom to sit down and ask her about getting a test, she would probably call me the R-Slur and tell me I’m crazy. Therefore, I’m all alone in this situation with no one to help me. another obsession I have is about me catching cancer if I don’t do a compulsion or I might get paralyzed and get sleep paralysis. It’s so horrifying, there’s more obsessions and compulsions I have but I really don’t wanna name them right now. I cry almost every day because of how exhausted I am, and how much help i truly want to get but I don’t think I ever will. I’m unsure whether or not I have ocd, people tell me to get a diagnosis. but the situation I am in right now makes it impossible. i have no way of getting tested but I have a good feeling I have ocd, if you’re reading this, please try to give me your thoughts and what I should do, and if I even have OCD. Thanks! :))

Does anyone else have this really weird thing where if the weather reminds u off a bad ocd trigger, when the weather isn’t just right, for me it’s the awkward temperature between winter and summer, it reminds me of the days I had very bad ocd and it triggers severe anxiety and I just want to be inside and avoid feeling the temperature? I get this with this specific drink from boba as well. If I drink it I’m convinced it makes me worst and spiral. I’m so scared. I suffer from PURE O and SOOCD and health OCD & death mainly.