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Did your anxiety over yourOCD ever get very intense for a period of time and later go down even though you still have the same intrusive thoughts and the same obsessions?

Yesterday I had the thought “Do I like having the thoughts just so I can fight them off?” And then I found myself almost WANTING an attack just so my ocd could be proven real to me

hi ! i am so happy with my relationship and suddenly i have thoughts and fear of what if im cheating in the future? what if i really want to do that ? i know that my thoughts is against my value and belief but these thoughts is going crazy everyday and it makes me believe that i will do it and i want to do it 😭 but the fact is i know i never wish to do that and it never popped up in my mind before this , this just makes me feel so crazy and extremely anxious that i cant sleep, i will going to University this October and i fear what if i accidentally like someone else ? what if i do that on purpose? plus my feelings is keep telling me to do that and it kinda whisper to my heart and makes me want to do that, i know that i never wanted to cheat or like someone else but it makes me feel so real 😿 i keep thinking is that mean i am a terrible person or i really want to do that? i dont know why it’s kinda gives me the wrong feelings and informations to myself . Pls dont judge me when you read this and i hope someone could help me if this also what you feel or any tips to deal with this. Thank you

I have this memory of playing with my childhood friend like lifting him up in the air putting him back down just playing. And my brain is taking that memory and saying I had sex with him or I humped him or something like that. It makes me sick to my stomach to think I had sex or raped a little boy. I’m scared. Please give me some advice

I thought I was doing better with not having rocd intrusive thoughts for a while but then they started up again. I always blame the thoughts on pms, but whenever it happens any other time, I think they’re real. I feel like I’m always critiquing my bf in my mind, and think small things are genuinely big problems. It’s like I can’t accept that he has flaws, just like me. Also yesterday I hung out with this new friend I made, and afterwards I kept getting thoughts like “you like her, you think she’s hot”, etc (she’s a lesbian and I am straight), and then a trailer for a new movie w/ kristen Stewart keeps popping up on my feed and I think that I’m gay. There would be nothing wrong with that ofc but I’ve been straight my whole life, but I’ll get thoughts saying “you’re gay and you’re not attracted to your bf anymore”, etc. I generally get intrusive thoughts that I’m not attracted to my bf but it’s never bc I’d be attracted to the same sex. Also, I think this is normal with intrusive thoughts but whenever I get these types of thoughts about my relationship/my bf, it’s like I don’t recognize him, or even fully realize that I have a bf, and it scares me so much. I’ll be with him and I’ll suddenly get the realization that I’ve been in a relationship with him for a year, or I’ll look at him and I’ll start getting nervous that I don’t find him attractive anymore. Recently it’s been the not recognizing him and thinking about “alone time” with him and not feeling turned on or thinking that he doesn’t pleasure me the same way anymore, which isn’t true. I just feel guilty everytime these thoughts pop up.

Does anyone ever get or even force yourself to think an intrusive thought to test your response and then think that didn’t make me anxious enough therefore…. I like the thought or I could end up doing the thought

Do we choose what we're attracted by? Or it is simply something subconscious that we can't control? Because I have no problem getting attracted if I notice the curves of a girl my age, but I get extremely uncomfortable and anxious when I notice those same inappropriate parts on a young girl. Instagram reels trigger me often. I obsess over the fact that I've noticed those parts in the first place because a normal person wouldn't even notice them at all, and I wonder if these are the signs of being a p***. I feel the need to check the inappropriate parts to check if I'm attracted or not, and to see if I can stop seeing it as triggering but as something that is just there without being unwantedly se&ualized by pocd. (I also feel more gross because I'm staring at those parts, even though for a compulsive matter and not for malicious intent). I'd feel like ending my life if these things were all just subconscious instincts of my brain making me one of those monsters, like you can't change that and I'm just lying to myself. I'd feel more at ease if everybody notice those things the same and just chooses to not be attracted according their morals, the fact that physical attraction could be a choice and not an instinct would make me feel better. There is freedom of action, but is there freedom of feeling and being? Or is that already predetermined? If I see a girl my age who's my liking I have no issue feeling attracted se&ually. If I'm born with the genes of a monsters it wouldn't matter what I do, I'd constantly be in denial of my sick twisted nature, right? Obviously I'd end my life before even dreaming of doing those horrible things that happen in my mind in the form of intrusive thoughts and image, as costant daily torture. Maybe there are people born bad but that overcome their nature and live a life of good deeds, but I can't tolerate it. If I'm born as a **** I have to die. I'm clinging of the fact that this is just POCD, just an ocd theme like the others that've come before. One thing that reassures me is that I've memories and proof of lots of different ocd themes throughout my early life till now. I'm diagnosed with OCD, but I don't trust it completely because my psychiatrist was a bit of a weirdo and his answers to my questions more triggering. I don't feel attracted on young girls, I avoid them, I only have interest on girls my age, but I'm so afraid that sometimes I could be because what I feel when I get triggered is so confusing and fuzzy, I feel like throwing up and I squint my eyes and contort my face (even more these are not enough to prove the fact that I'm disgusted because I think I could be just faking it, lying to myself), and maybe in that mixture of distressing sensations there is an element of denial of the horrible truth. There have been a lot of triggering moments when I genuinely thought to myself that I was attracted and that made me feel desperate, wanting to cry.

Do you ever process through ocd snd then months later the same issue comes back to haunt you and its like rumination all over again? Please advise. Do i just reuse the tools from the last time or do i try additional new tools

I just got diagnosed today and am feeling unsure about it, like I fed my therapist information to incline her to diagnose me. Everything I said was true, but somehow I feel like I’m misrepresenting myself. Life is not debilitating and I don’t ever have panic attacks or major breakdowns, so what if I’m just a little neurotic and do not have OCD? I felt like I was self-reporting and in my mind it would only be legit if I accidentally divulged my symptoms instead of reading off the list I made. I felt like I was trying to manipulate her into believing me.

Recently I posted on here about talking with a guy and exchanging information. After we briefly talked, I didn’t feel comfortable to keep talking to him so I blocked him. I just didn’t feel safe, not really knowing who this person was. Or at least I thought so. After the fact, I looked up his number and was able to track down his LinkedIn and Facebook page. He seemed legit. Well, I didn’t know that LinkedIn actually tracked your profile views and he must’ve realized I looked at his page. Late last night, he added me on snap. I didn’t add him back, and he hasn’t contacted me on any other social media. But now I’m worried and obsessing over this situation. Should I just let it go or address it?

I thought I done it to a female when I was intoxicated but now everytime I nap I try and remember what happened etc. but when I have a nap or a sleep I have images of it happening etc and don’t know if they’re true because I was so drunk, like I had nap and I had images/memory of me with my trousers down etc. what do I do

Last week, I had a really bad OCD spiral, where I was convinced that I was in fact paranoid and going "crazy". I ended up going to the ER, and they confirmed that it was in fact my OCD and prescribed me meds. I met with a few psychiatrists and they also confirmed that I have OCD. I started therapy with NOCD on Tuesday, and had a great session, and felt great! And yesterday, I was doing pretty good, where I was able to go into the office, and have a normal work day. I still had those intrusive thoughts regarding paranoia but didn't cause me distress and kind of just pushed them away with ease. This morning, I started having some bad intrusive thoughts where I see myself trying to fight the negative thoughts in my head. These intrusive thoughts sometimes feels like its another person in my head. I've had these experiences before, and I tell myself that these are just my thoughts, and not anybody else's, and I am afraid that I am believing that there is some kinda entity in me trying to convince me that these intrusive thoughts are true. Coming from a very religious background, it makes it even harder for me to push these thoughts away because people in church will tell you that it is an evil spirit causing this distress. I know that this doesn't make sense from a rational perspective, but it makes me always question that it might be true. I find myself trying to tell this "entity" or spirit that it doesn't belong in my brain, which makes me feel like I might have a more severe mental illness.

Before i went to school i bought a juice for the day and it looked sealed well but when i opened the cap it came off really easily and i got anxious that it was already opened before i bought it even though it looked sealed.Today was gonna be the day i was going to ignore all my intrusive thoughts but im so scared to drink it because my brain is telling me someone opened it before, but im really thirsty and have to be in school for a long time 😪.What should i do?

I can't stand checking things over and over again to make sure I'm not a bad person. Repeating actions in the expectation that it will prove something to me only makes it worse. But I can't stop checking. In fact, I can't stand a lot of things in my life, I feel exhausted, my mental health is shattered, I have no self-esteem, I don't feel like fighting for anything. Everything annoys me because I didn't want to be here, I wish I had never been born, my existence bothers me and brings me anguish. I wish I could choose not to exist anymore because I can't stand so much pain, so much sadness, so much anger at myself. I get up every day out of obligation, but I'd like to stay in bed until it's all over. I'd like to apologize to everyone I tell about this overwhelming desire to disappear, but I feel suffocated.

Ok little weird question here but does anyone else wake up feeling pretty normal and then feel their ocd set in a bit later? I’ve had this for 6 months now and these past few days I’ve noticed that I wake up completely fine but by the time I’ve come downstairs and let my dog out or made breakfast I feel like the ocd has “set in.” I can’t describe it any other way except my head feels fuzzy particularly in the front part of my brain. It’s almost like the ocd wakes up. This might be really off from what you guys are experiencing but I just want to know. Thank you 💛

my ocd isn’t so bad anymore but after dealing w intensely disturbing intrusive thoughts 24/7 for like a year i didn’t come out of that unscathed. i really don’t like myself at all. and i think so much of how badly i see myself is from this stupid disease. i hate myself so much. and the worst part is everyone thinks i’m happy cos i’m “functioning” again which is somewhat true. ln i was really struggling and i felt like i couldn’t call a soul bcos they think i’m thriving. can u be happy and still just hate yourself tho? idk if that makes sense. i am superficially happy w all the good things externally but i just don’t feel like it’s worth anything or i deserve it. probs not the right place to post it but it’s BECAUSE of my ocd, i thoight i was a horrible person for so long, now it’s over i’m just like used to hating myself and i can’t stop. i want to stop, i just need to vent. i can’t even cry. ocd broke me. i used to cry A LOt. and i think that’s good but now i just lie there, i remember the day something inside me broke and just went into survival mode. i want to be happy, idk if it’s possible

Hi all, this is my first post on here, which is a really big step considering posting on here, even anonymously, was something I initially avoided due to the fear that my anonymous posts would somehow get tracked back to me and would prevent me from getting a job in the future. That’s another story for another day, though. Right now I wanted to know if anyone else has a problem with not internalizing someone else’s words, even if you know they’re not directed towards you. I’m really struggling right now to not feel bad about myself or feel like I’m a bad person or that I can no longer express interest in something after seeing a video that was critiquing some negative behaviors of people in a fandom that I’m apart of it. Even though these behaviors can sometimes be common in this fandom, I know deep down that I’m not like that, and that I’m not interested in this thing for malicious reasons. I also know that I don’t associate myself with fans who are, and am actively bothered by those behaviors as well. However, my OCD won’t let me forget about the video I initially saw, and of course it was like I almost just had to read the comments too and see what everyone else was saying, which fueled the narrative my intrusive thoughts were already trying to push: I AM one of these fans the original video was critiquing and now everybody online hates me and I should just basically stop being interested in that thing anymore. This becomes even more of an issue considering that interest was my main motivation for actually cleaning and organizing my room. I had just recently bought some new things related to this interest and was looking forward to opening them up and re-organizing the entire collection of things related to this interest I have but now it feels like that excitement is gone once again and I feel like now I’ll never get to the cleaning my room so desperately needs right now. There’s definitely a lot of catastrophizing going on in my brain right now but it just sucks how you can be feeling fine and then something just triggers you out of the blue and you feel like everything’s been thrown off balance.

Does anyone feel like they “like” their intrusive thoughts? Like after a while the fear and the disgust you used to feel about the thoughts becomes numb and you wonder if you just like it? And that the thoughts are happening bc you just like and want that thing? I’m beyond confused. I (23F) still feel like on some level I know I want to be with men and end up with a man. But I’m growing unsure there’s a man that has what I need in a partner and am not happy in my current relationship which certainly isn’t helping my case lol. I’ve been dealing with this for almost 7 months and I’m so tired of the incessant thoughts and physical responses I feel like I should just give up and give in.

I’m really fucking worried that I don’t love my girlfriend and my compulsion is to love her or say that I do. It puts a pit in my stomach to think about and I’ve been falling back into old compulsions. I’m scared that I’m falling out of love with her even though she’s done nothing wrong and she’s so funny and smart and treats me with so much respect. We’ve been through so many rough patches (mostly with my mental health and OCD) and we’re moving in together at the end of the year. I’m so scared to lose her but I’m also scared that I want to lose her. Sometimes I feel calm when these thoughts happen and then I get scared about the calmness of it and then I freak out because I’m thinking I’m not in love with her. Sometimes when I say I love her I get a pit and the constant thought of “no you don’t no you don’t no you don’t”. I always make sure to take care of her and to cuddle and kiss her when I have the urge when I’m around her, and she sexually satisfies me, even if I’ve also been having a lot of fears of in my transition (MTF) that I’m going to become only attracted to men but also that doesn’t make much sense in that I used to get butterflies with her, and now I still sometimes do but I know that at least with the longer a relationship goes the less butterflies happen. I don’t know how I can just be content. I get scared that if I’m not obsessing over her then I don’t care. She’s most of what I think of but I don’t know if that’s a compulsion. I’m scared if I don’t think of her I’m going to forget her. Maybe it’s because we haven’t had a lot of time to be intimate/go on dates? I just need help because it’s gotten really really bad the past few days/week. I can’t stand the idea of not being with her, but also can’t stand the idea of being with her. These are the thoughts that had me in a mental hospital and I can’t put her through this again. I cried a few times recently about how much I love and care about her and when she talks to me about how she appreciates me I tear up and I think it’s because I care but what if it’s because I don’t and I feel guilty that I don’t? Please help. (P.S. idk why it’s not showing up but I’d like the LGBTQ+ with OCD tag, I think a queer perspective would help too as I am bi and trans (or at least thinking about being trans and scared that I’m only gay sometimes.)

Hey , I feel like I’m alone with getting intrusive and unwanted thoughts during sex / mast3rbation and when I’m finishing and it makes me feel disgusted and that I’m a disgusting person and that I agree with the thoughts I get and I get really upset after and guilty and regret doing it Please can someone tell me if they experience things like this and if it’s not just me It’s something I’ve been really struggling with but I try not to let it get in the way of me having a sex life I have posted a previous post but no one has said anything