- Date posted
- 1y ago
Thoughts
Yesterday I had the thought “Do I like having the thoughts just so I can fight them off?” And then I found myself almost WANTING an attack just so my ocd could be proven real to me
Yesterday I had the thought “Do I like having the thoughts just so I can fight them off?” And then I found myself almost WANTING an attack just so my ocd could be proven real to me
I too feel like I go through the same thing. Living with OCD for such a long time, its almost as if my brain doesn't know what to do when I am not having intrusive thoughts. Therefore, I am trying to not focus on having OCD, and focus on the things that bring me happiness and joy. It is a constant struggle, but with daily work and practices, it gets easier! Stay strong, you got this!
I feel the same!!! If I’m busy cleaning/ on the phone to someone or just doing something and then stop I suddenly get a panic and think wow I’ve not had a thought maybe I don’t have ocd then basically think that thought automatically and start the whole rumination/ trying to stop the thought!!
I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.
That’s kinda my question. All my thoughts feel so realistic and so now I doubt if they are ocd and if I just can’t make my mind up about something and I’m using ocd as an excuse or something idc I feel like this post is word vomit.
Lately my OCD has been very horrible, it’s been more convincing than ever to the point where I’m genuinely convinced that I like this stuff, when I get a thought, I’ll hear my intrusive thoughts go “oooh, I like that, I’d do that.” and I just don’t freak out nor feel bad, I just feel like I like it even more, and feel like I would do/act on it and like it, and the feeling is strong and it lingers forever? It genuinely feels like I do, and I’m just lying now, i can’t tell if I make these thoughts worse or anything All I remember mostly just being like confused sometimes when these thoughts happen, but since I’m getting strong emotions that I like it, my brain says that means I did and I’m worried about that being true because I don’t understand nor know It’s like I am resisting to like this stuff now, it’s even tougher now than it was before
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