Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Does anyone else find when a huge change happens in their life their ocd comes crawling in?

I think I realized (probably too late) that I’m scared of losing myself to one of these themes. I’m not sure if it’s like this for everyone but sometimes when I have intrusive thoughts it slowly erodes my own sense of self. Intrusive thoughts become so muddied and virtually indistinguishable from my own. I have this idea of myself that all of my intrusive thoughts go entirely against, and I’m afraid I won’t be me anymore. I am trying to practice more self love, and more self care in general. I’m trying here. To gain a self esteem, to not be in control but to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Does anyone else feel like if there friends, family or partner knew what their intrusive thoughts were then they would fear you or hate you or feel disgusted by you? I hate my intrusive thoughts but feel like a liar or fake person for not sharing them.

please don't judge 😢 i have a 2 year old and my partner lived at my moms but was classed at living at his dads i told my benefit people i was single because i knew wouldn't have any money as my partner works, i felt i wanted my own money to buy my daughter things, i've now told them i have a partner and he's moved in i'm overthinking they they will say something as he was paying bored to my mom my heads really scrambled with fear i don't know what to do i could say he offered to help pay mine and his daughter bored instead of child maintenance etc but i just feel so sick anxious i can't eat i'm constantly in a state of panic 😥 i know we can make mistakes but i think when you have a mind like ocd it just makes everything worse

im just losing my mind... im so scared of minors lying about their age online... i dont go on dating apps anymore cause of this, and I was on an NSFW discord server (with age verification) and literotica, a chat site where you have to be 18+ to access the chat and the site... Im so scared and anxious of unknowingly messaging minors online when i dont ever want to... I havent been on these places in a while... but im so so so scared of minors lying about their age... it honestly just terrifies the everloving crap out of me... i dont ever want to ever be involved with men or minors in any way... god im so so scared... i dont have reasons to doubt most. The ones I found suspicious were those who were unverified or suddenly left the server... this one girl gave me her birthday, so that wasnt that suspicious... but then when i asked this one girl what date she was born on, she just said "13😭" before reiterating that she was 18 once more later on when i stopped responding to her after she said "13😭" and said she was 18 once beforehand... im just honestly so scared and anxious rn... idk if she or other women were lying about their age or not... thats whats scaring me... ive only talked to verified women as far as i know... and i get so scared about minors online lying about their age, and it makes me ruminate on whether or not this happened to me... Ive seen so many horror stories of minors lying about their age and it just terrifies me to no end... Im paranoid and just so ready for me to be whisked away into a fantasy land... thats what final fantasy is *chuckles*... but i just genuinely want it to stop... its making me think the girl accidentally gave me her proper age by mistake... and that I indeed accidentally chatted explicitly with a minor... I genuinely feel so alone and anxious... we didn't do anything explicit yet because i was trying to check her age before that... but it was getting there after she said she was 18... I was asking for her date of birth because I still wanted to check, and she said "13😭"... im so so scared...

I am 21 and just received an OCD diagnosis. I go through phases of intense obsessions and compulsions, usually involving panic attacks. My last severe obsession was health related, and my current obsession centres on my relationship — an intense fear that I secretly do not love my partner and an overwhelming urge to escape the relationship. I remember when I was a child, my obsession was a fear of violence: every stranger felt to me like a threat, and so I compulsively avoided danger in various ways (walking in zig zag line, crossing the street multiple times on my way home.) Receiving a diagnosis, while scary, has been a true relief. Finally, I understand myself a bit better. I understand why I can’t let go of thoughts that I logically know are ridiculous. I understand why my panic is not a 30 minute episode, but prolonged, lasting days. I understand what the work ahead of me is. Though flare-ups are some of the most painful experiences I have been through (psychologically exhausting, and physically sickening), I am feeling hopeful. While I continue to work on ERP and mindfulness, I am aware of how much more control I am gaining over my attention. I am realizing that this is an illness treated by learning to listen to others, regulate my mind, and choose peace. Once I have the space to apply those skills beyond my immediate obsessions, I feel I will be an all around better person for it. I don’t mean at all to say that this illness is a blessing — I do not consider it advantageous by any stretch. That being said, the only joy I ever find during these difficult episodes are when I feel hopeful. If anybody has any victories, big or small, that they would like to share, I would love to hear them. Hope is a powerful tool. Community is a powerful tool. I hope everyone else learning to manage this illness can use them to our advantage.

Hi there everyone. I'm a 22 year old male who was diagnosed with ocd when I was about 16. I've struggled greatly with ocd and even fainted once because of how bad it got. I've had many obsessions that have shifted from time to time. Right now I have a bit of pocd, hocd,health ocd, and my latest and currently most distressing obsessions, where I'm not sure where to categorize them. My symptoms are as follows. I was walking home from work with an employee one day, when I hit a wall so to speak, in my thoughts. Like, I kind of knew what I wanted to say, but trying to put it into words, or fetching the words felt exhausting, and difficult. This was very distressing and triggered a downward spiral of obsessing over dementia, aphasia, cognitive decline, forgetting how to read and speak, and obsessing over words I think, read, and speak and wether or not I understand them.i continually get anxiety feelimg the need to go over the original catalyst sentence in my head ,checking to make sure I can properly retrieve it and think it. I still have a teeny bit of difficulty thinking or speaking about it, and I'm not sure if it's just my ocd and anxiety. Following all of this, lately I have had a fogginess in my head when thinking complexly and my ocd has pounced on it. Im hoping it's just brain fog, and that I'm obsessing over nothing, as when I am not obsessing about it, I understand and read and speak words just fine . Anyone else going through this?

Hey there, just wondering if anyone has ways to overcome the challenges that ocd brings when reading a book. I constantly feel the need to reread to make sure I have not missed something and it gives me a great deal of anxiety. It has taken away from the enjoyment of reading. Thank you

I’ve never been under anesthesia, i’m 19 and I should be getting my wisdom teeth removed, I am supposed to call the oral surgeon, but I still haven’t called after two months of getting my referral, for a few reasons. 1. I think i will die or suffer from serious complications/ be able to feel everything but not be able to move, almost like sleep paralysis, because that type of thing has happened before, only in redheads… I am not a redhead. Just the impeding doom it feels like a possibility. 2. Who will take me/drive me home while i’m coming out of the anesthesia and possibly saying silly things. I don’t want anyone to see me in a state i’ve never been in before. I feel like i’m going to say horrible things that are either directed at the person who is caring for me, or just in general. Even sexually explicit/ morally wrong/ flat out disturbing. If my boyfriends take me what if I tell him I don’t love him ( I do). What if I say something sexual that could be offensive, like sexual acts with other people? (I’ve never done/Will never do). I can’t have my mom take me cause she would hold those things against me for however long it felt right to her. Etc. My teeth are suffering and the anxiety of the what ifs eat me alive every time I think about it. To me this feels extremely vulnerable and it makes me more uncomfortable than anything to not be in control of my words. My sister specifically is an example that makes me feel these things. She told me that our mother said to her when she was healed from getting her wisdom teeth out that my sister said something so bad that my mother said she would never repeat it. Which is very out of character for my mother. And my sister and I are almost positive what she said was a sexual connotation. Has anyone else had this experience?

This has been the worst pocd day of my entire life... i just constantly get intrusive thoughts of having unknowingly explicitly texted minors on NSFW discord servers and explicit chat sites when i only explicitly chatted with women who had their ID's and selfies verified and I only chatted with women who were older than me on the explicit chat site... The ones I found suspicious were those who were unverified or suddenly left the server... this one girl gave me her birthday, so that wasnt that suspicious... but then when i asked this one girl what date she was born on, she just said "13😭" before reiterating that she was 18 later on and many times beforehand... im just honestly so scared and anxious rn... idk if they were lying or not... thats whats scaring me... ive only talked to verified women as far as i know... and i get so scared about minors online lying about their age, and it makes me ruminate on whether or not this happened to me... Ive seen so many horror stories of minors lying about their age and it just terrifies me to no end...

I’m getting these bubbles of negative thoughts/feelings. I think cuz I’ve unconsciously started ruminating and these stronger feelings/thoughts/impulses bubble up. It’s tough to ignore cuz it feels like a gut feeling. Anyone else get this?

im just losing my mind... im so scared of minors lying about their age online... i dont go on dating apps, and I was on an NSFW discord server (with age verification) and literotica, a chat site where you have to be 18+ to access the chat and the site... Im so scared and anxious of unknowingly messaging minors online when i dont ever want to... I havent been on these places in a while... but im so so so scared of minors lying about their age... it honestly just terrifies the everloving crap out of me... i dont ever want to ever be involved with men or minors in any way... god im so so scared... i dont have reasons to doubt most. The ones I found suspicious were those who were unverified or suddenly left the server... this one girl gave me her birthday, so that wasnt that suspicious... but then when i asked this one girl what date she was born on, she just said "13😭" before reiterating that she was 18 later on and many times beforehand... im just honestly so scared and anxious rn... idk if they were lying or not... thats whats scaring me... ive only talked to verified women as far as i know... and i get so scared about minors online lying about their age, and it makes me ruminate on whether or not this happened to me... Ive seen so many horror stories of minors lying about their age and it just terrifies me to no end...

Repost as I’d love to hear if this is normal :( Anyone else get doubt come in thoughts that aren’t ‘what if?’ Mine are and have always been more like ‘what about this?’ ‘What about that?’ ‘How do you explain this then?’ ‘But isn’t that the same as this?’ Never really what if. Almost like my mind is always wanting me to disprove or prove something. Is this just another way to say what if? Are all these doubt questions?

How can I get over the feeling of needing to confess everything? Even private thoughts & situations … nobody’s business but my own. But I feel like I’m doing something wrong and keeping big secrets. Thanks!

Hi! I have OCD and am thinking about starting a family. I have been married for a few years (through some pretty sever ROCD) and starting a family has come up more than once. Every time our “this is when we will start” time comes around I have a HUGE spike in OCD including ROCD and OCD around having sex with my husband. I have a history of sexual assault, but that’s another story. ANYWAY…I was wondering if there are any folks on here with OCD and thinking of having children, pregnant, or went through it all with OCD. Really just looking for community and any resources that might have helped you- books etc. I am in therapy and on medication so really looking for anything supplementary. Thanks for reading!

This is a big problem for me which makes me feel shame and alot of guilt, the feeling of denial is really misunderstood, sometimes i feel like they mean for certain ocd themes like harm or something when you feel like you did something bad and by ignoring you feel like youre in denial. Those times its normal that you ignore it. But i experience something different. Many times i tried to ignore ocd thought or emotions or even emotions or thoughts cause many times i couldnt decide if its ocd or normal problems, and this is why i experienced that im in denial, and this became stronger when i realized im still afraid of the content and it still comes back after time and i react the same way, they i use this fake positive reaction to it (i choose thatbits ocd, its not a real problem) which quickly makes me feel good, and then i get hit by the feeling that im avoiding im in denial. I watched a video about shame and denial, and the bad thing was i saw myself that im really in denial, that i avoid the problems, i react to the problem as its not a real problem, its ocd and i dont deal with it, its not real. But this limits me to see other problems. So realizing im actually in denial feels bad. And i dont know how to recover cause one people say do this, ignore every thought, dont listen to it, dont give any attention to it, and the other one says if you say this to every thought youre in denial. You do it as a cooping mechanism.. Just to give you an exemple, im christian so i will give that, i felt shame over doing something bad, and i was so afraid to admit it cause it comes with shame that i felt like i cant accept. I was so afraid cause shame said im a bad person, full of sin, im a shame for christianity, and because of this i didnt wanted to accept that what i did was bad and a sin cause then all of this is true. Then this made me feel like then i dont want to accept that i have flaws and im not perfect which is bad again, everyone has flaws, then i was worrying i dont want to accept that im not perfect cause i want to avoid shame, and this is where denial comes. Then what i heard that helps ocd is to ignore, i choosed to ignore it and be sarcastic with it, which made me feel more like im in denial. And after i watched the video I started spinning, cause it showed me im actually in denial to cope agains shame... so that would mean i have to accept that i did a bad thing and its okay, but that doesnt sound good to me and again i feel like im in denial, cause i should accept that what i did was bad but bc of shame i dont want to so im in denial. Im spinning so much and i dont know how to get over this denial thing. Expecially that the worries always come back and it makes me feel that i didnt worked with them as o should, i just avoided them i was in denial so thats why they come back...

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

Is it common with OCD to have intrusive thoughts that are delusional in nature and disturbing because you realize that they’re delusional?

hi all, does anyone else feel like the ocd battle and instrusive thoughts are like a roller coaster? some days/weeks i feel like im overcoming it and some weeks im completely losing it and breaking down again. i really don't want to be on medicine because ive had bad experiences with ssris but just kinda looking to see if anyone on here had the same experiences but got on something else that really helped? im having a hard time pushing through right now.

I always come on here to read but never write. Sometimes tho, I think life reminds you to be grateful for how far you come. So I thought I’d share some things that have helped me with my journey of understanding ocd if anyone needs that glimmer of hope. - Supplemention not for everyone ofc but when I was dying on the floor last year. A supplement called Sam-e which had studies showing it can help with ocd has changed my life. It helped me separate my thoughts from myself more and made me feel sane and very stable. Highly recommend also gaba and Nac have done wonders. -Overstimulation This big them for me lately but when I’m scrolling on tiktok or constantly on electronic. I feel like it makes me very wired and super overstimulated which makes me get more worked up when thoughts and feelings arise. Anxiety is caused of overstimulation of body when too much energy is present it starts producing thought. So when I limit it and try to keep present in what in my day, I find myself stable. -Sleep This goes hand with overstimulation, your body and mind work best when it’s calm not when it’s over energized trust me. -meditation I find this very overlooked. Buddhist thought meditation has helped me in those moments where I feel myself spiraling. 10 to 15 mins can make it all go away. -present This one changed so much of my perspective. I never really understood when people would say look at what’s real around you, I even doubted that. But one day I was going thru tough theme and I remember saying I’m in a car right now with my legs crossed starting out the window driving thru my town listening to Fred again having thought about ***** and it’s making me feel ****. Something about naming as many things as you can and really grounding yourself can sometimes snap you back into reality. A good book called untethered soul really dives into understanding of presence and thought being observed but not absorbed. -Let it be I never really understood the when ppl said tell the thought if it happens it be ok. That one never worked for me. But letting it be did. I could have a really scary thought, to me it’s more like a mind wired thought it feels like. That’s where the need to fix or solve is and I just let my mind repeat the thought and do absolutely nothing. I’ll be very conscious of doing nothing back and really feeling those body feelings get anxious and worried and they learn to let themselves go. Nothing always the best. Well I don’t wanna make this post too long so I’ll stop there atm. But remember that everyone journey different, be patient and walk in strength and pride. You are loved even if you can’t see, feel or hear it. Just know.