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Can pocd latch on to one gender. Because it seems like mine has. It’s very uncomfortable and I just can’t get through the day with it just lingering in my head. I also work in a school so I’m constantly being triggered.

Why do I have no emotion towards this. I want to cry about this but I feel as if there’s no emotion there. This is such a difficult time for me especially as I’m a school teacher. I’m struggling daily. My ocd of being very nasty and I’m being triggered all the time. Can anyone please talk to me and educate me more on POCD and how it can latch on to anything or even anyone

Here's the full story I was fine no ocd no problems whatsoever march last year, then I had soocd where for 5 months ish I thought I was gay,bisexual and stuff but didn't know it was ocd, had chronic anxiety 24/7 and bad intrusive thoughts but it was bearable cause if I was gay I was gay, then out of nowhere pocd that's when I started to learn about ocd, again the same as my last theme but bearable again to the point where after a month of this i literally stopped thinking and obssesing. 4-5 months no triggers no symptoms I was recovered but then again pocd came back with the exact same symptoms intrusive thoughts and bad anxiety then it morphed and introduced worse problems like false attraction, gronials came back, for a few days urges, the whole package I've been in a cycle since November of a bad 2 weeks good 2 weeks bad 2 weeks good 2 weeks. Where symptoms came symptoms went and go less, now the symptoms are seem to be going the anxiety been gone for a while me panicking being Depressed about it seems to be stopping the feeling of being a p kinda there it's almost like it's true almost like this isn't ocd anymore the only thing keeping me going is the fact 3 months ago I was fine and was symptomless and my whole life up until the summer I had no thinking pattern to kids didn't care really at all apart for my summer job at a park serving drinks and stuff to kids while they play and go on the rollercoasters and stuff. Now I'm like I don't care my brain feels like I don't care I intentionally try think of a bad situation to see how I react I still react with like a spark of anxiety and spasm of no don't like this but idk Derealisation hasn't helped idk if I'm just having a horrible time rn or just idk someone please what are you guys thoughts

So like all of you guys, I get intrusive thoughts. I’ve gotten them to a point where they aren’t super debilitating but they still occur. The thing is, I don’t ever want to tell a partner about these thoughts as I don’t even want them myself. However, A part of me feels wrong for not telling them. I fear they may judge me or not want to be with me if they knew as they are sexual and inappropriate although they aren’t pedephellic. I’m not sure how to deal with this situation.

I’ve been dealing with OCD for quite some time, and have had plenty of themes come and go. Some lasting years and some months. I have three major themes that still haunt me. They’re this constant dread of death, my moral dilemma of if I’m a good person, and recently my gender identity as a man. They all tie into each other and I more or less look at them as evolved forms of “conquered” themes. Like my self harm, Sexual Orientation, and pedophilic/assault themes. Death is a hard thing to accept though and I no longer have too many intrusive about harming myself or others for that matter because I’m constantly afraid of death. I don’t feel like a good person for my constant compulsions and compulsive behavior. I feel weak to them. I give in to my constant googling and forum browsing. I know for a fact I ask for reassurance constantly. I question my own sexuality and gender identity quite often because I’m not sure if I’m a good man and how could I prove that I am? I have a lot of compulsive regrettable and more importantly unproductive sexual encounters to make me feel like 1. I’m not gonna die 2. I can do something with my life that isn’t destructive 3. I’m a man doing my duty. Now for the gender identity portion of this I wanna make it clean that I love people from the LGBTQ+ community and support them 1000% but I feel like I’m a horrible person for being anxious and uncomfortable with these thoughts because nothing’s wrong with being gay or trans y’know?It’s either what if I’m in denial or what if I’m being too feminine y’know the whole “what ifs” thing? I don’t wanna die, I wanna be a good person. I am genuinely just scared, I just wanna live and not have the noise so loud. I mean I have panic attacks constantly. I try not to ruminate but it’s an ugly battle. It seems to me that my OCD flares up moth to month like I’ll have a good month of manageable intrusive thoughts but then the next moth I just decay. You know how many times I’ve scanned my mind just to find proof for and against all these themes? I’m sure some people can relate. OCD has made my life so isolated and I hate myself for that. I’m sorry for all the words, I’m just a mess right now. If you read this far I appreciate you so much.

i was extremely scared today, a bunch of little kids were around me and i was scared to be near anyone because i would do something horrible. i feel like a terrible person that no one would want to be around. i don’t deserve this support, i just want to be rid of these terrible disgusting thoughts.

I have been having memory obsessions a ton lately and like I once had an image of hurting somebody but I know that this would’ve been somewhere in 2023. But ever since I got over the fear to have hurt them there, I then keep getting fears related to his image and thinking „but what if I had hurt them way earlier?“. Like just now I was recalling the vacation I was on in 2022. I already had ocd there. And like suddenly I got scared „what if I had hurt the person while I was on vacation there?“ bc I was in the same room as them there. Not the exact same one, there was a door in between bc the room had a a room with a big bed too but I was sleeping on the couch. But now I keep thinking „but what if I was alone with them and then hurt them in this way and just forgot doing that?“, but no matter how much I think, I can remember almost everything from the vacation and being in that room. I also know I once was in the room with the bigger bed. But I can’t recall being alone there. I was always there with my sister. She was often around the other person, I was barely around them and especially not alone. And like the person was always with my parents so there basically are no occasions that I could’ve been the only one around them. But I keep thinking „but what if I just forgot this?“, but the image that I had a while ago doesn’t even match the hotel room. And like this has happened multiple times already. Just constantly me thinking „but what if I did this here or way longer ago?“, but there are simply no occasions this could’ve happened. And wouldn’t I at least have some memory to doing this since I seem to have a ton of other memories? And now I’m scared that the images are suddenly memories but I never remembered this and I also don’t have any actual clear picture of that just the old image that I always have.

i keep getting thoughts of molesting/ doing sexual things to people (that i’m close to) and children, every-time this happens I extremely disturbed and have panic attacks bc i’m a horrible person. i’m honestly just contemplating just k*lling myself because i feel like a disgusting p3do who doesn’t deserve anything in life. i’m already diagnosed with anxiety and depression but i’m not sure if this is OCD or not. i hate my self so much- this thoughts won’t stop happening and i never want to do anything like that ever. :/. i’m not sure what to do, i’ve talked to my therapist but none of her methods worked on how to stop these thoughts.

I was in the back seat of the car and my granda was directly in front of me and my little sister was standing up directly in front of me and so she bend over for something and her bottom touched my knee i am absolutely freaking out i feel like my life is over 😣

SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH Hello, i’m new to this community, i’m from Brazil, but i speak english, i’m really struggling with what i believe to be POCD, but i’m so scared an feel like i have nobody to share my feelings, it’s really affecting me and people around me, i don’t want to live like this anymore, but at the same time i feel hopeless. I’m on medication (Fluexovamine) for 15 days, it has helped me, but i still have many stuggles. If anyone is willing to talk to me or feel like i do, please contact me. i really really want help and try to live a normal life.

I know there is something wrong with me. Maybe it’s because of expose at an early age to mature content or maybe it’s undiagnosed hyper sexuality I think I’ve had for a while. Maybe I should unalive before I hurt someone. I’m addicted to fanfiction and my phone and I have been for a long time. I at a very early age knew everything to do with s*x and BDSM and kinks of all nature and nothing ever phased me really. I myself was an online victim of a p* but I led everything, he just never declined. “Vanilla” became boring in a way, a way I now know has led me here. I read fanfiction and things sexual with underage people, I thought oh there’s no harm because is just fiction and not real life and if stuff like that exists on the website and is able to be written maybe i can treat it separately from real life. But what if I am a p* for reading etc? I’m spiralling because I seen the comments under one of those stories and 1/4 were death threats, 1/4 are disgusting comments and the rest were neutral. I suspect I have C-ptsd, autism and adhd which all worked together in a very unhealthy tandem to led me to this. All I can feel is disgust and shame and the desire to end it. I don’t really know why I made this post or what anyone can say really but I’m sorry.

I haven’t had my first session with my therapist yet, but after reading up on ERP and everything I can about OCD I started trying to expose myself to my triggers and do the tips I read on how to handle it. I thought I was getting slightly better these last few days but today I kicked it up a notch and now, hours later, feel terrible and feel like I’m back in square one and have made no progress. My POCD thoughts are horrible again and I’m scared ERP isn’t gonna work on me because of it. I want to get better now but I also don’t know if trying to ERP myself is a good idea when I haven’t met with my OCD specialist yet, can that make it worse? Am I not doing it right? What should I do?

I have suddenly gained the fear of enjoying getting pegged…I definitely on a moral and ethical level do not ever want this to happen but now my brain is telling me I want this when I truly truly don’t. What do I do?

I’m constantly feeling unwanted arousal by my thoughts and it feels more intense than normal arousal. It’s driving me crazy. Any movement down there causes it, any of the thoughts I hate causes it. It’s all day everyday and I cannot focus. It’s super confusing because the physical part obviously has a good feeling but I hate how it is being caused so it’s a very BAD feeling. I’m so scared.

Is it normal to only feel false attraction to one subject of your pocd but not another? Idk why but it makes it feel all the more real bc I was watching a video and I forgot there were clips of a movie with kids in them and I felt what I hope is just false attraction to one of them but not the other three and I'm kind of having a hard time sitting with the feeling like I feel anxious and my face feels hot from being so anxious. Like I think it feels more real bc that's sort of how real attraction functions (being attracted to some people but not everyone).

Having ocd makes me always think the worst and that the only explanation is that I did something horrible. I have had 2 incidents over the years that have made my life miserable. I guess they are real events and possibly false memories as well. When my son was little he would crawl into bed with me sometimes. One morning I got up and he was still asleep. I went about my morning tasks. When I went back upstairs to my room he was awake sitting up wrapped in the blanket. I said good morning and told him to come downstairs with me and get breakfast like I always did but when he got out of bed he didn’t have his underwear on. I yelled at him demanding to know why he took his underwear off. He was 2 or 3 so he could talk but not fully yet and he pointed at me and yelled “You!”. My ocd immediately kicked in and made me think the worst that I must have done something horrible to him in my sleep. Why would he say that? 😪The other was years later when my daughter was younger she used to crawl into bed with me at night alot. One night I woke up to her saying “mommy” and I was really tired so I just remember saying “sorry” and moving over and going back to sleep. I know it was probably nothing more than I just rolled over on her or something like that but my ocd keeps telling me I must have done something horrible. I don’t want to live thinking I could have done something horrible. It has made my life so hard to live. Now all these years later since my memory has faded my ocd tells me maybe I was drinking and just don’t remember doing something horrible . People without ocd probably wouldn’t think much about these situations and would just shrug them off as weird things kids do and say or that happen in life and parenthood but my ocd makes the worst possible scenario out of everything and makes me hate myself and living. 😞

I feel like giving up. I can’t help but feel like a horrible person. I was playing basketball with one of my students and thought if I try to swipe the ball I may hit her gr***. I still swiped to get the ball… I feel as though I am a horrible person.. Then similarly today I was walking and one of my students came by me and I thought how my purse could also hit her gr***. Yet, I still let it keep swinging but freaked out and wanted it to stop. I can’t remember exactly if I like grab the purse and quickly put it on the table or what… but I know it freaked me out.

I keep struggling. I have so many thoughts and if I do something like look at a picture and have these thoughts I feel like I’m awful. There are times some of the girls I teach and go to church with are wearing things shorter or not being careful and I still look and I know I’m not aroused or anything but I keep feeling as though that makes me a ped* help me. I’m in therapy but I can’t help but struggle.

i keep getting thoughts like ‘try being a p and see if you like it’ and stuff like that when i’d genuinely rather die than be like that. then i try not to think about it but i can’t stop thinking about it which makes it feel like im thinking about it on purpose

Hey guys, so these past 4 months I had a sudden onset of OCD after a concussion. It first started with HOCD which was super distressing as I’ve been in a 9 year relationship with my girlfriend. It then evolved into transgender OCD, which was horrible as well but it felt easier to disprove my intrusive thoughts. That and of course horrible health anxiety about my head. And it’s funny, as soon as I got comfortable with one topic, the OCD would jump to another. Basically over time I accepted all these negative thoughts about all these topics, so where does my mind go? I had a physical groinal response to an image of an underage person. It freaked me out so much that all day I was obsessing over it, I eventually told my girlfriend as she’s been supportive with me over the other topics. But this…. She’s angry with me, and doesn’t trust me anymore. And she doesn’t understand the groinal response. She did ask to sit in a therapy session with me to help her understand. But that’s about all the communication I’ve gotten from her. I feel so alone. And it’s literally ruining everything I’ve built up with her for the past 9 years. I wish I hadn’t told her. And instead just asked her to join a therapy session with me. Just making this post as I just need someone to talk to.