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I did compulsions again after quitting that for a few days. So sad. Now the cycle is going to start again

I recently found out that I have OCD and it’s becoming harder and harder to enjoy every day that passes. I spend hours a day, reflecting on all of the bad decisions I made out of ignorance or out of intention. I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself for what I did but I also don’t know if it’s the OCD making it worse. I was wondering if you guys have any tips on how to distinguish between guilt over what you’ve done in the past versus the OCD. I just want to be able to enjoy every day, but I’m plagued with guilt!

Because i overthink the smallest things, in my relationship i end up believing a lot of my anxieties, jumping to conclusions and making assumptions. This has many times caused such big arguments between me and my bf, many of which turn out to just be that I did not understand him on something, or that I have these crazy expectations because I constantly want everything to be perfect. I read into the tiniest things so often, that my bf has often felt that basically any little thing he would do I would somehow find something wrong. It overwhelms him, and it overwhelms me as well. The scariest thing is that me just reading something on social media can trigger this. I hate seeing “couple advice” or “relationship” videos on social media, because it causes me to overanalyze my entire relationship and the whole thing of “if you look hard enough for a problem, you will find one, and my brain will practically make up a problem, and will turn something so insignificant into something that i just freak out over. I really do not want to be like this… im tired of constantly freaking out over nothing. I want to be happy, and that has become so rare for me that when i do notice myself smiling, it is something I celebrate over. I dont know what to do anymore.

Anyone else low-key dreading the semester starting? I’m a PhD student, and even after all the years of uni and grad school, I still worry myself ill about being ‘better than last semester’ and ‘what I relapse like I did?’ (I had a bad relapse in the fall). Grad school, I’ve been told, is harsh for those with OCD, and I was wondering what others’ experiences were/are in grad school and OCD? Anyone else convince themselves they’ve wormed their ways in and are a fraud/stupid? Just looking to meet and learn more from people!

Like I want to know this cause I have guilt, anxiety, sadness and all of these feelings more than the other feelings. So what is considered as happiness in this recovery process?

I really don't know if this is going to help anyone but I was wondering if anyone has noticed a trigger so small that it's so pathetic it's actually funny. I thought we can all laugh at them together 🤣 One of mine would be is not showing enough gratitude for something or realising I've shown too much and feel like I look like an idiot. Seems small but I remember that being a regular trigger as I didn't want to be rude but also didn't want to be weird

How do I stop ruminating so much? It seems like anytime I make a mistake (getting into a fight, doing something wrong, upsetting a friend, etc) I just ruminate and overthink the entire situation and what the results could be. I’ll also know deep down and in my mind that my mind is just overthinking and I’m just creating scenarios in my head (ex: my friend telling my mom what I did after we have an argument or something), but it’s like my mind just can’t believe myself. Any advice??

I am getting my Ph.D., and am wondering if I should tell my dissertation chair about my OCD?? He probably thinks I’m just annoyingly anxious but I feel like he should know, given he’s my chair and we will work together for the next three years (have already for a year). Yeah?

One thing that I’ve noticed about my OCD is that it makes me feel very regretful and embarrassed at the end of every day. I reflect on every interaction and every conversation and any thought that I’ve had throughout the day. As a result, I feel more and more ashamed of the way that I act, even though it is probably normal for some of my age to act and see the things that I say. Earlier today I flirted with a guy and then as soon as it ended I had so much religious and moral guilt about it. Does anyone have any advice on how to not feel so ashamed after doing the typical activities that people in their 20s do? I feel like these thoughts are making me want to isolate from everyone else so that I’m not put in the position to do and say these things. I feel comfortable with myself when I don’t talk to anybody but I’m noticing that that can’t be normal . I don’t want to lose friendships and potential relationships out of fear that I’m going to say something wrong. I don’t know what to do.

My girlfriend and I had sex a about 10 days ago. She is not on birth control, I wore a condom but in the moment I put it on the wrong way at first and then switched it around. I’m terrified that I got her pregnant from precum. I’ve been absolutely obsessing about the possibility of it happening. From what I read it’s extremely low possibly, but OCD is saying she is pregnant. I cannot shut my brain off. I love my girlfriend more than anything and was going to propose to her later this year. I just keep thinking if she is pregnant will I be able to provide, even though I have a steady great income job and so does she. I think will my OCD get so bad that I can’t go to work and lose everything. I used to deal with Sexual and harm OCD, and I just keep thinking will this come back and start if I have a kid. Any tips or help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you everyone

Accept uncertainty and question your assumptions about worst case scenarios. Recognize all or nothing thinking and practice taking a step back. It's tough, but we can do this!

I had my third session today, and my therapist and I are filling out my fear and response list. For some reason I'm having a hard time filling out compulsions and even some of the fear responses. It's like everything is so connected it's hard to separate it in my head. I've never tried to do this before. Also maybe I can explain the compulsions in a longer sentence but it's hard to use just one word. And most of my triggers cause a pretty high number of distress, but I need to find something with less anxiety to start the exposure therapy. Does anyone have advice on how to make this process easier, or just an example of how they filled this form out? Thanks.

I am doing great! I don’t know why I am doubting myself. But I just feel like I’m missing something? OCD is making me doubt if I am missing tools, I know I’m doing it right, acknowledging thoughts and continue doing what I am doing, not mentally checking my body or for thoughts, focusing on the present moment, sitting with anxiety, exposing myself to my triggers, even when OCD says NO, I still DO IT! but it feels like I am missing something, although I am better than where I was in September , MUCH BETTER, I’m scared that I will stay in this place because it seems so simple, even though sometimes it is SUPER hard to use the tools sometimes, I don’t know, I don’t want to be stuck in this same place I want to get even better if that’s makes sense? I’m scared if I stay in this same place I am, I will get discouraged and go back into depression where I was in September ? Anyone else done this?

I just failed a class and the semester is over so now I feel horrible and I feel as if my life is over and it doesn’t help that I’m already a grade behind I feel so stupid and I know when I tell my mom she’s gonna be angry

On my run this morning a person stopped me to ask if I had a phone on me, and I said “no, sorry” and kept running even though I did have my phone, because it was early morning and I felt scared they’d take my phone. For the rest of my run I felt worried that they were following me and would see me use my phone, because I had AirPods in so they could guess that I did have a phone, although conceivably I could have only been wearing my Apply Watch. Once I was home and that anxiety subsided, I’ve been playing the situation over in my mind and feeling like such a bad person for saying no because what if they really needed help, and I said no because I judged them based on appearance and the situation made me scared they’d take my phone. I’m worried something bad will happen to me as karma.

I feel disgusting and ashamed!!!! My mom texted my sibling and got mad at them because she thought they don’t know to take care of themself and then she said “I’m so exhausted between you and Ishil”. I can’t. I can’t do this. My mom keeps making me believe things SHE thinks about! What if I don’t know how to care of myself?! I try so hard! But then what if I’m not?! I already feel self doubt and she’s triggering me to an extent that I might do self harm and start bleeding!!

Months ago I made a mistake at work and I havent brought it up. Im a grad student and part of my work is in the lab. I took some things out of the lab and into a different lab where there's more potential for cross contamination and I'm worried I may have contaminated them and someones lab work will be messed up but because I didn't say anything they'll never know. I feel like I need to announce what happened but it's been months, and I dont actually know if I did contaminate anything and Im embarrassed so I'd rather not. But it keeps popping up and haunting me. I know my OCD is at play right now, I'm not sure if this is a real fear or not...but I also think what I did was wrong, like there's a pretty common protocol to not take that stuff out of the lab, I just didn't think about it at the time. I could tell my advisor on Wednesday and see what she thinks I guess, but in the meantime I'm feeling consumed with guilt and it's hard to work. I know this is possibly an urge to confess so maybe it's good for me to wait? Any thoughts??