Like I want to know this cause I have guilt, anxiety, sadness and all of these feelings more than the other feelings. So what is considered as happiness in this recovery process?
Over Christmas, aside from one episode, there were several whole days where I barely noticed the thoughts. I went to see my friends at their houses, went out for drinks, and had dinner with my family. I was present at all of these in a way I haven't been in years. No trying to dodge thoughts, no bubbling emotion, just present. Happiness, I think, is being able to be present even for a little bit of time, and hopefully watching that become longer and more frequent.
I think good moments can truly pull someone out. Not completely but slowly. When I was little, I didn’t know it at the time but I struggled heavily with different subtypes of ocd. I think the more you rely on the people around you, those who love you, support you, adore you, the easier the burden gets. I know how crippling it can feel but you have to keep yourself busy, and interactive. When you’re forced to do productive things, your mind has less space to be consumed with thought. Remember that these thoughts aren’t you, and that there are people who love and support you.
Fellowship has been key for me as well! Beautiful reply, thank you for this ❤️
I agree with both comments! Happiness is rooted in the present oftentimes. Even if it's for literally 2 minutes, there is moments of happiness sprinkled in everywhere
I concur! Allowing our thoughts to just BE as we focus on the things in life outside of us that bring us joy and serenity has been so helpful ✨️
I know how you feel. I often wonder if I will ever truly be happy
@Nic12 You will!
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
People who went from a really bad time with OCD to a better time now. Is it really possible? What was your theme? Did you take medication?
What to do when we feel guilty about our ocd checking and compulsive behaviors?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
