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Does ocd tells possiblity of what will happen in your life so ocd is telling truth only?

Annoying!!! So I wake up aroused I get these dreams and now I feel like a r because it’s like what if my brother was doing something to me while I was sleeping and I didn’t care and just went back to sleep it’s so weird like why I keep getting aroused in my sleep

Ive also realized... if it's my own fault I have POCD and Real Events OCD to begin with... because of the genuinely horrible real events I've done... then why should I even feel any ounce of sympathy for myself? I don't feel sorry for myself because why would I feel sorry for something I hate? It's my fault right? I did this to myself so I face the consequences... thats how the world works right? I did so many bad things as a teen, so the karma finally catches up to me... right? So yeah... I deserve this... all of this... it's so funny... thinking I deserve a happy life... its all just one big joke... my life is a joke... but jokes at least have a purpose and make people laugh. People do laugh. At me, and not with me. So yeah. I deserve this. All of this. I accept it. I accept it all. Come take me god. Cause I dont want to be here in this world anymore.

TW for content I just recently had to leave an online “friend group” of 4 years. I felt completely justified for it, but part of me mourns and even cries thinking about everything back. For years, we made characters, wrote stories, laughed over calls; I truly thought they were my friends. And they even cared for me. I saw their faces, they introduced me to their lives. It really felt like my own friend group. Then suddenly, my POCD and morality fears came up due to content one of them was posting. Now, this person posted a lot of suggestive stuff, which was fine with me since we’re all adults. But some thing I started questioning, for example furry material, but in the end, I thought it was just me. It was fiction, and they said they were completely against abuse, and never had any sort of immoral attraction. Yet, it started to get worse. I was losing sleep, I was crying, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what was happening. I was so sure who I was talking to was a bad person. Every fear I had, they had an explanation, but I would just keep finding more. The day came where I couldn’t take it anymore, and invited them to a call, where I apologized. And they said, “That’s okay, I forgive you. I’ve been accused of being a pedophile multiple times.” That broke me. Excuse me? What do you MEAN multiple times? I questioned them on this, they said it happened “probably once every 3 months”, that “I don’t know why, I guess it’s because I’m a furry and I’m into things kids like?” Even THEN, I STILL felt like I wanted to believe them. It was accusations; what was I supposed to do about that? And furries did get a lot of hate. Yet, I still avoided them. The final straw was when I went through their art page favorites and found pictures of a character (basically a parody of slenderman that was specifically meant to be sexual) interacting with a child. That was it. I couldn’t justify it anymore. I gave the info to the other members. The results after? One blocked me. One said I was “schizo-obsessive”, and the one I accused wrote a letter on their art page saying they were hurt and hoped I got help, telling me “those pictures are from when I was 16 and being edgy, they’re old” I left. I told one of them I was leaving, and that I wouldn’t be back. I cried the whole night. I look back at characters I can’t use anymore, stories thrown in the garbage. The video game we bonded over is so hard to look at now because it reminds me of them. But, I feel justified. It had gone too far, in my opinion; I couldn’t have let that slide. Those pictures, the accusations, the constant question. And I’ll never know if I was right or wrong, but they were just that: people online. And I regret ever making a connection. It still hurts, and I wish I could just let it go. I don’t want to go back to them, I can’t. I can’t risk talking to bad people. But the hurt is still there.

I know it can be kind of reassuring , but did your sexual orientation as a teenager stay with you until you became an adult or have it changed?

Wanted to talk.. Just some ocd discussion not for the reassurance But know more about it... Hope someone will.. Thanks!🙏😇 (Been recovering from so ocd)..! So just wanted to educate myself..

17f That's it I'm a monster. Before yesterday I had classic textbook POCD. Avoided children like crazy, was scared to even look at them. But something randomly clicked in my head and I became a monster. I suddenly became numb to s*xual thoughts about children. No anxiety, no remorse, no "this is wrong" or "this is weird" feeling. Nothing. Just weird curiosity. I was able to imagine SAing a child. Even made a hypothetical plan on how I would do it. And still. No remorse. No nothing. Now it's the next day and I'm freaking out. I still feel kinda numb to the images and the morality itself but at the same time it scared me how OKAY I was with the thoughts even made a PLAN.

I can't get an answer

For context, im going to college for 6 years (less than 2 years away to graduate college) to focus on fixing my GPA, volunteering, and MCAT studying... as well as graduating... My parents keep guilt tripping me and asking me questions like "did you know how much we've spent to keep you in college?" And telling me the amount they've spent on my college education... my mom keeps saying that "shes not trying to make me feel guilty, but it's a fact you have to accept..." I know they've spent a lot of money to help me... my mom claims she spent over 70k on me... and I know they're suffering... but them constantly telling me the same thing and saying things like I should drop out to focus on making money to save is honestly degrading my mental health... My mom is the only one who knows the full extent of how extremely horrible my extremely awful and terrible POCD real events when i was either 13 or 14 were... so it feels like im indebted to her for helping me throughout... but her constantly asking me these kinds of questions and then saying "im not trying to make you feel guilty" is counterintuitive... UPDATE: when I called my mom just now... crying about how much I l0athe myself every time she guilt trips me, she kept bringing up her own pain, and that I didnt keep my promises... to the point where I genuinely asked her if I delete myself, will she be happy... she at first compared me to other kids who graduated in four years, then asked if I thought I had suffered more than she has... and if i did, that I should "stop talking to her"... I genuinely cant take this anymore... I cant take this from her anymore... I cant take life anymore... she makes me feel like I shouldn't be here... I genuinely dont want to be here...

I made posts worrying about age gaps, and I continue to worry. But I'm thinking about just looking at what I believe and what I currently think is moral, and saying whatever to what anyone else says and thinks. About me or others. I think at 18 someone is an adult, and I don't care about age gaps past that. If you're 18+, it's whatever who you date and it's not wrong to be attracted/have sex with someone much younger as long as they are 18+. I worry my thinking is wrong especially because of how many people are against this mindset, but I can't find myself agreeing with them and when I look this up online many opinions vary on what age gaps are okay and what age you become an adult. So, I'm thinking about just saying screw it and not caring about it for myself and other people. If I'm 30 and am sexually/romantically attracted to an 18-year-old, whatever. If someone is 20 and dating a 50-year-old, whatever. Not wrong and not bad.

After my psychiatrist appointments, I can't stop obsessing over whether or not I explained things correctly, or if I exaggerated without noticing? We spoke about the possibility of ADHD today, and after I got home, I kept wondering if I had exaggerated my experiences of struggling to focus, finishing tasks, feeling paralyzed when I want to get things done, etc... This is how I felt when I got diagnosed with anxiety and OCD, though. It's just sort of stressing me out 🫠 Has anyone dealt with similar?

And that’s why your fear isn’t truth. It’s a glitch in the system — not your soul.

Potential TW: So I know this post is not technically FULLY about ocd but I was hoping maybe some people knew something about it or what to tell me. So I know my boyfriend has ocd and anxiety but it’s nothing he is in treatment for and he’s not on medication even though he probably should be. Anyway, I know he has IBD so he already has stomach issues. However, ever since we started dating he has been throwing up in the bathroom a lot. At first I didn’t think anything of it but then I noticed not only did he do this but he eats large amounts of food at a time like a lot of food and then whether it was directly after or a little hour later he would always throw it up and he would turn on the shower making it look like he was taking a shower but I always hear. He keeps saying it’s just that he sometimes feels sick from eating too much but I really think it is bulimia and now it seems like he throws up about 3-4 times a day. I know he has a lot of stress in his life cause so he’ll be applying to law school and his parents also pick on him when he does something wrong though they love him very much and he has this cousin that like is always trying to pressure him to do more social things and he clearly wants to impress his cousin but he’s trying to be something he isn’t. I also know he tends to bottle things up instead of talk about them but recently he has been communicating a bit more just not about this. I know there’s a lot of factors here but does this sound like bulimia? I kind of want to say something but I also know he will probably get very mad. But his parents clearly don’t realize this is happening as he just goes to his own bathroom and pretends to shower. Also, weirdly he has been gaining more weight even though he seems to throw up so much? Also can bulimia cause people to be like quickly defensive or frustrated easily? Because I’ve been seeing that too and I’d like to think that’s not really him cause I have seen he has a caring heart it just seems like he’s struggling a lot. Can anyone tell me some helpful things? Does this sound like bulimia? Does anyone have similar stories or advice they can share? Please help thanks!

17f I work at the restaurant as a cleaner, pot washer and a kitchen assistant. My job already made me freak out a bunch of times because couple times while cleaning I was kinda near children and my POCD is very severe just being around children makes me anxious and later I sometimes have false memory ocd that I touched the children even though I didn't And my boss said that in July I will probably be promoted to a waitress. And I'm terrified. It's a busy family restaurant in a city center and people constantly come here with little children. It's one thing to work in the kitchen and cleaning during closing shift, I still see children sometimes but I can avoid accidental physical contact for example. But as a waitress it will be hell on earth. I will need to walk between tables outside where children are constantly running around and if I have stuff in my hands I won't be able to move so fast to avoid touching them I need this job so much and its hard to get a job as a minor here but this will fucking ruin me. I can already see how I will have a mental breakdown because I accidentally touched the child while working and convinced myself I did it on purpose.

Last week I fell into a bit of an existential spiral, which hasn't happened for a long while. Now that I'm mostly on the other side, I think it's important to reflect on the lessons I learned from it. I hope this is helpful for others who find themselves in their own spiral, existential or not. 1. The thought, "I'm never getting out of this one," will always be there, and it will always be a lie. Whenever I fall into a deep existential spiral (which is pretty rare these days), it *always* feels as though I've uncovered some horrible thought that I'm never going to be able to get past. As if I've finally found that one existential thought this is going to ruin me for the rest of my life. When that happens, allow the thought to come and go just like the rest of the thoughts, and take some time to reflect on how you've been there before. For me, it helps to sarcastically agree with it: "Yep you're right! THIS is the one that'll do me in." 2. Keep doing what you do A major difference between this spiral and past ones is that I forced myself to not cancel any plans because of it. I played at an open mic, accompanied my friend on mandolin for his performance, and I attended a run group, all while experiencing an existential crisis. I definitely think this shortened the length of the episode. I proved to myself that I could do some pretty demanding things despite the thoughts. I was also able to reflect on how when I was forced to be present (such as while performing), the existential crisis totally subsided. Which brings me to... 3. Trust in mindfulness I absolutely get it; when you're in the middle of a spiral, the idea of just "bringing yourself into the present moment" seems laughably unhelpful. This time in particular, it really felt irresponsible to *not* attend to the thoughts. It genuinely felt like I had to *solve* these existential questions before I could move on to anything else, including the present moment. But when I reflect on the times that I felt the most at-ease, it was always when I was present. It was during the 10 seconds I took to breath and notice my surroundings. It was when I disengaged from the thoughts and allowed them to come and go. It was when I smelled the fresh air after a thunderstorm, or during a conversation with a friend about her breakup. It was when I named the feelings and emotions I was experiencing, and welcomed it all. Existential thoughts are supposed to be about reality, but when you're lost in them, you aren't actually *in* reality. They're only scary in the virtual reality of the mind. And finally... 4. Yes, the compulsions are the problem I did a LOT of research last week. I watched videos, Googled, and even dove into ChatGPT. The compulsions were obvious, and they were never enough. Every answer that made me feel a little better was followed by doubt less than 15 minutes later. In the moment it genuinely feels like you HAVE to keep doing the compulsions, but you need to trust that that's exactly what is making you feel worse. In order to stop researching, I just had to...stop researching. It was hard at first, but eventually the spiral stopped spinning, and the longer I waited between compulsions, the easier it was to move on.

I feel like a p because my little brother was telling his friend that I had a hand a game called slap battles and I was happy to join the game it’s like why do I feel happy because of that I remember I use to help people get badges for the game and this one kid who I would always help and I would join to play with him and he was telling me he’s from this country and he was 8 or something and I feel like a p because of that thank God he unfriend me because till this day I think about it and if he was still my friend I don’t think I would sleep at night thinking if I said or did something wrong in the game Like he asked one day how old I was and I didn’t want to tell him but I think back at it and I’m just like did I not want to tell him because I wanted to do something or I didn’t tell him because I wanted to fit in? I feel so bad when my brother friends friended me and I don’t friend them back because I know what rejection is like and I’m not trying to be mean but I just won’t sleep at night thinking about if I did something I just get upset It’s so upsetting and it makes me want to cry

All my real events are hitting me all at once and i genuinely despise my existence right now... i feel so alone and genuinely horrible and nothing is working for me right now... im trying to not ask for reassurance but its so dang tough and i dont know what to do... please someone help me... i feel so so so so so alone right now...

I was on literotica (an 28+ erotic chat site) and was about to sext with her... she was getting high and wasted... before she stopped responding... i was checking to see if she could continue by explicitly flirting, but when she couldnt respond on the chat I stopped and deleted the chat... she then chatted with me again on the site saying she didnt remember we were sexting... when I asked her about it days later, she said "it might've been serious for you, but it wasnt for me..." My Harm OCD is saying that I unintentionally harmed her through this online chat... Im so so scared...

I was on YouTube looking for saw traps I scenes and I see a saw 5 playlist and I was a bit horny because I was thinking of the guy I’m talking to and it’s like what if the playlist had inappropriate stuff on kids and I got arosal and then I got worried and went to see if there was stuff on kids there The gronial response gets intense I felt arousal because of the idea I might find content of kids there I think I’m a p how is this ocd I get worried when I open playlists or images because I’m going to think there’s inappropriate stuff and I don’t want to accidentally see it and I feel guilty afterwards I feel like I also touched my brother inappropriately I asked if I ever did anything he said no but what if he thinks it’s not wrong or he’s not telling me the truth

What if you did something so extremely awful and truly horrible as a child but you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? The POCD real events were extremely awful and horrible... no way around... it genuinely was extremely awful and horrible... I gag and v0mit even thinking about it... its that horrible... I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 14... I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 14... but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 14 when these real events happened and now I'm 23... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 14 at the time… now I’m 23… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 14… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 14….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 14 because someone told me what these real events were before... but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... i truly didnt... I dont ever want to ever be what my pocd and real events ocd say I am... I dont ever want to be a P or a Chomo in any way... im so so scared... these real events were so extremely horrible and awful and worse than people realize... i g4g and v0mit and lie awake at night even thinking about them... thats how horrible and awful these mistakes were... I dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a Chomo or a r4pist or anything like that... im so so so so so so so so so so triggered and scared and anxious... I also did something at the age of 13 that was horrible... they asked me if i did it or not, but me being 13 and not knowing what i did was wrong and horrible, i denied it because i was scared... ive lived in guilt for so long... i dont love myself... and I genuinely cant stomach the idea that im still here... I feel so guilty and horrible...