Givenup

Date posted: 9w

Harm OCD and weed

I was on literotica (an 28+ erotic chat site) and was about to sext with her... she was getting high and wasted... before she stopped responding... i was checking to see if she could continue by explicitly flirting, but when she couldnt respond on the chat I stopped and deleted the chat... she then chatted with me again on the site saying she didnt remember we were sexting... when I asked her about it days later, she said "it might've been serious for you, but it wasnt for me..." My Harm OCD is saying that I unintentionally harmed her through this online chat... Im so so scared...

slippery_salad

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 9w

Find Jesus brother. How much could you have avoided if you weren’t on that site. Your ocd will make you think all these things but guess what, youll never know. Is she even real? Youll never know. Find Jesus and fill your life with goodness

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@slippery_salad This makes me feel absolutely worse about myself...

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@slippery_salad So much worse...

slippery_salad

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 9w

@Givenup And then you feel better. From a brother with ocd and addictions to another brother with ocd and addictions. You will find much more peace in the spirit than you will in the flesh❤️

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 9w

Ocd will say lots of things but that doesn’t mean it’s correct! Since the lady said she forgot about sexting with you, I’m sure she’s interacted with other people on that site since then and so she won’t care about this interaction with you, like she said, so absolutely nothing to be scared about! :) If she’s not thinking about it, you shouldn’t either! 🙏👍 You owe yourself peace of mind ❤️

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@OneDayAtATimee Thank you... also, im trying to not ask for reassurance by studying, but every real event is crashing upon me... im so so triggered because I dont want to harm or SA anybody... and I want to make sure people are okay...

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 9w

@Givenup You’re so welcome! I’m so sorry to hear about that :( Ocd definitely loves to latch onto everything and Ocd will 100% heighten when you are having romantic conversations with strangers online because there’s extra uncertainty and risk there, especially with people lying about their ages and other things. I’ve seen the uneasiness it’s given you from all your other posts. Maybe it will help give you peace of mind if you do those things with someone you actually know and trust? That helped my mental health when I was going through ROCD and POCD

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@OneDayAtATimee I stopped some time ago... but nonetheless it feels so triggering for me and im so genuinely scared because i dont know if my pocd fears came true in regard to these situations or not... im genuinely so triggered and anxious and alone... I barely have any friends as it is, so I go online to sites like this because I want to feel less alone... ive been reassured by people who have been on here for close to, or over, a decade and they tell me the chances of strangers lying about their age is rare on there...

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 9w

@Givenup - Aw I'm sorry to hear about your loneliness :( Just know that things can improve and you will find someone who will want to stick around. There are healthier ways to feel less alone, even through finding friends online through hobbies (such as gaming) and then a romance can blossom naturally with that person from there! <3 I want you to find someone who does care about you and will actually remember the sexting conversation you had because it's special to them since you're the only one they're doing that with. Someone who will remember you and love you :) That is where true happiness and a fulfilling companionship lies, in my opinion

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@OneDayAtATimee Thank you for the kind words... im just so scared and triggered because everything is crashing onto me all at once... and im genuinely triggered so badly to the point where I feel like im alone every single time... i feel genuinely alone at this moment...

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 9w

@Givenup - You're not alone :) You have a giant community here for you. And finding the right connections online in the future will also help to give you some more company. In this moment, maybe distract yourself with something nice. Maybe a delicious dessert or a funny video. Anything that can take your mind away for a couple minutes. That's better than nothing

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@OneDayAtATimee Ive been trying my hardest to distract myself... i just wish i wasnt a monster for all of the real events ive posted about... one things for certain... you all are amazing and wondeful people, who dont deserve any form of harm or suffering that this ocd continues to deliver onto you...

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 9w

@Givenup - Oh thank you so much I really appreciate that! You are a very kind person. I really want you to talk to yourself like how you talk about us :) We are not any better than you. We are both human. You don't deserve this suffering either! No more calling yourself a monster. I don't see that in you

Givenup

Date posted: 9w

@OneDayAtATimee And now its giving me graphic intrusive thoughts of harming the person involved to "cover it up" and intrusive urges that make it feel like im going to do it when i don't want to harm anyone... I had intrusive thoughts like this before but i reassured myself because I didnt ever want to do anything like that... but it was making me "feel" like i was considering it when i dont want to that... and its giving me graphic intrusive images of doing it and this cold chill in my stomach... and its making me feel like im not anxious about this... i hate this so much...

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 9w

@Givenup I’m sorry it feels so terrible :( I know how hard it is. On the bright side, you will definitely recover from Ocd once you stop paying so much attention to OCD’s content. The content doesn’t matter, especially when the lady doesn’t even remember you so try to keep that logic in mind 🙏 She has moved on a while ago and so should you. Don’t let her live in your head rent free

aaanonymous

Date posted: 24w

harm ocd during intimacy

18+ i was having intimacy with my lover. i was frustrated and i had a thought like "hurt her physically", i think i Remember not agreeing with it. i didn't hurt my lover they were fine they never felt hurt physically, but im afraid i might have done some action with the intention to hurt them but maybe i wasn't violent enough? idk. i don't remember any action with that intention so that's that. it happened like a couple of hours ago and im afraid i forgot about it. also, i get anxious because sometimes when i have intrusive thoughts i kind of act on it? not as in like doing what the intrusive thoughts tells me, but something similar that is better in a way? like today i had a thought like "grope your lover in public" but instead of doing that i just squeezed their waist. so idk im afraid i might have done something similar here

Givenup

Date posted: 18w

Pocd and anxiety

I hope someone can respond... Im genuinely so triggered and so anxious... Dr disrespect was accused of inappropriately messaging and sending explicit images to a minor, and trying to meet up with them at twitchcon... my POCD is saying that my situation with me venting about 18+ explicit HOCD stuff to people in the PM's on an OCD groupchat I found from NOCD, including the minors, when I was 19, means that I am just as bad as they are... or worse... I pm'ed them from the support group and vented to them in private (including the minors) about my 18+ explicit HOCD struggles... one was uncomfortable by it so i stopped venting to her after she told me she was uncomfortable by it twice... the other gave me reassurance so i kept asking her for reassurance for my 18+ hocd struggles... I dont ever want to ever be attracted to minors in any way... I dont ever want to ever engage in any inappropriate relations with minors in any way... i dont ever want to EVER be a MAP, a P, or a gro*mer in any way... I dont ever want to be what my pocd says about me... im so scared... someone said that I need help, that I need to turn myself in, and that im hiding behind a diagnosis because of this situation... i genuinely feel so hopeless... I dont ever want to ever be a monster...

isharemycigs

Date posted: 16w

What do I do

when I was 15 soon to turn 16, I met this girl in a IG group chat made by our mutual friends. We started talking and eventually we started flirting and talking sexual towards each other, though eventually we stopped talking because she was being really weird. A couple months later In July of 2024 my friend found out that she was actually 13 and that she lied to me about her age. It's been 10 months since l've found out and I still feel so disgusted in myself. I had my suspicions at the time but I let them go since she said she was 16 turning 17. I was completely oblivious trusting someone I only knew online especially since i've never seen their face either. i'm struggling on what to do since i've been suffering with POCD since I was 15. Till this day I still feel weird and disgusted in myself because of that. But it feels ironic since i'm sexualizing someone that's 2 years younger than me and I waited to confirm she was around my age range to sexualize her. I feel so weird and guilty about it idk what to do

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Harm OCD and weed

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