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I’ve been having a good time with my partner laughing, and enjoying time together. But in the back of my mind I wonder why I don’t feel love for him. Like how do I get it back

I personally do not have OCD I am here because I love my bf of 6 years He is a great guy but he is having a hard time with rocd he is currently going through a lot of anxiety with was triggered by us discussing engagement plans This makes me sad because we love each other and I hate seeing a good man having to fight his own mind to be able to be in a relationship with me Someone tell me what to do Point me in the right direction please I am here for him and I will not abandon him I want to go back to him with everything I will learn from you guys Thank you

I’m on track to getting my diagnosis and i’m already questioning it. Pocd feels so real, and even though i once saw someone say “it has to feel real or you wouldn’t worry” which is like god level reassurance honestly, it hurts. I can’t look at children, they deserve better. My usual attraction seems to be gone and i can not think about anything else. At the same time i don’t really feel anxiety. I’m scared i don’t feel bad enough, if i just smiled maybe i honestly wouldn’t feel bad? I don’t have many other ocd symptoms either, except for some stuff when i was a kid and like questioning everything about myself. I’m clinging to the hope that this is Pocd instead of me being a Monster and at the same time i’m so sad that i have to go trough this. I don’t like myself but i’m sorry for my younger self. I just want to be held and be told that everything will be okay but how can i know? Even then i feel like comfort of that kind only really applies to others who are struggling and aren’t horrible like me. In so many ways i sm convinced i am a monster even though it might be a bit irrational. Maybe i’m a monster after all and then i should really get away from everyone i love. They deserve better :( After a lifetime of struggles (nothing super serious) i’m just getting started with therapy and i’m so.. scared. What if it won’t help? What if it turns out i’m the bad person i fear to be. Is there any way i can prepare or some tips or literally anything else? I would appreciate any wise words

No I’m not attempting or anything. I am just really in a depressive state as of now. I am so convinced that my fear is real you don’t even know. I don’t know what to do. I just want to go to sleep and wake up in a reality where this is all gone. But honestly I don’t know if that would change anything. I’m scared that this is who I was all along, and I’ve just been delaying what I will eventually become. I don’t want to do ANYTHING that my intrusive thoughts say AT ALL. But honestly that doesn’t mean anything anymore. I’m so convinced of the thought “you’ve been doing it this whole time without realizing it.” I think it’s true now. I feel incredibly stuck. I just want to be hugged :(

So how would I know if it’s truly ocd or not? Like by accepting uncertainty, will I eventually realize if it was false or true attraction and if it was actually ocd or not? For example I was out today, right after my therapy appointment, I saw a kid that looked exactly like this girl my age that I was into. I felt a sense of attraction and I immediately went into the restroom to hide or smth I don’t remember, but when I came out I think I avoided looking at the kid. Idk if it was false attraction or not, I hope it was but I’m not sure. I can’t really tell. FYI I was never formally diagnosed with pocd before, but my therapist said that I have it but I still don’t believe it. I still feel like it’s not pocd because of the attraction feelings, I can’t tell if I like the feelings or not. I don’t feel any of panic, worry, distress, guilt or shame after any of those feelings. I did start crying when I got home tho idk why or what for, but I went to take a nap for a while and when I woke up it kind of became clearer if it was real or false attraction, but it’s still really unclear, I don’t get why I would feel that way towards a literal child, is it bc she looked like this girl my age that I was into? I hope it was false attraction, still can’t tell.

Unfortunately, I have been a Care/Case Manager. Although I struggle in school and was directed to become a Social Worker I selected something else. I did that because I did not have faith in SWs. Why, because everyone I had shadowed or worked with did not genuinely care about their work or actually the quality of their help, referrals or resources they'd provided. I have cared about all my past roles and work. Because my work ethics are purposeful. So I don't understand those who do things for ONLY A CHECK or to say I DID IT with no motivation in quality or outcome? That use to bother me. So I never wanted SW. I'm far from a perfect person in career, home and life itself. Don't get me wrong, helping others help themselves is very hard work. I remember when my BFF wanted to go to college for nursing. She was so upset because she thought the work were going to be a step-by-step hand held guide. I said no. She said, you are pretty much reading and studying all this massive information and then tested in it! How do you know you are studying the correct details or information need for the test!? I said, you don't, you just have to makes sure you know and understand and can explain the list from your syllabus. " She said I'm paying to teach myself!? Yes, pretty much. Why do you think I had to have Tudors and I was always on campus still at midnight... She is a LSW now and grumbles like the rest of them. She feels it's all Mental Health and Addiction and does not get any purposeful fullment out of her work. That was what bothered me most about SWs. They loose the inspirational, motivated light in their eyes, their spirit to want to help, to encourage, to be involved to solve and resolve. Of course you don't always have all the answer, everyone can not always be help at each encounter and "the struggle must be a real to you as it is to those who really need your help." My point to ALL OF THIS. I have completed fallen through the cracks. And once again, dependant ONLY on me and my ability. I said to several CMs, SWs and Organization "need help," "211," "United Way," and "findhelp.com or org:" I suppose I have to literally be deaf, intellectually 75+% disable, mentally incapable of making decisions for myself. A certifiable suicide attempts, with active ideation, a master plan to do harm to self and others strategically planned. Also, histories of drug and alcohol abuse with a criminal historical background. In addition to absolute homeless, actively in critical mental and behavioral crisis to pass requirements to get help? You know what is most ironic about it ALL; ever program mission or vision has TO REDUCE HOMELESSNES, SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MENTAL HEALTH??? Huh? I pretty much have to be all of thee above and actively shooting up, selling myself with abusive marks and malnutritional signs and symptoms to get help. Neurodivergent behavioral does not qualify. I literally overheard a volunteer say to her peers that her son has been diagnosed with ADHD they prescribed him Adderall and all is well now. She walked passed me as if my struggle is not real. Wow. I'm tired. Who was to go through this just to be needy and put out on the street. I don't like asking for help nor holding my hand out. I don't even like expressing "how does that make you feel..." It's obsolete and irrelevant to them genuinely. I can talk to myself ALL DAY LONG, I can ask myself while looking in a mirror and say, "Hey, how does that make you feel." Your feelings do not pay the bills, don't find you the appropriate network or connections for skills and work, and don't prevent homeless. Yes, I do believe in therapy and science, but I do not believe in the genuineness of all HC providers. Especially when you cannot help yourself in that moment and you actually need them. You should hear the statement that comes out of others mouth behind it all. Life is not funny... even when you must have a reason to laugh. While in college, a Preceptor said to us, "OH! Suicide patients burns me. I think they all show get on one island and off each other since they never complain the task." The blew my head off? Then later in life, my experience with it. Helped my understand in another prospective. But I'd never feel that way. Even though I now understand that statement I don't carry that harsh passion behind it. Some people are completed but it does not mean throw them away. It only means YOU can deal or function with it. So it's not them, it's you. Mental health and behavioral HC providers, this take a special individual, with a special kind and caring understanding heart and soul. Because you must not just genuinely care for others but also know how to balance caring for self as well as them. This is a critical balance. That is hard for most. Only the strong will survive some say, most will not sacrifice self. But pretend to GAF. I don't expect that you must sacrifice self, even in a selfless, sometimes unrewarding role. Sometimes, no thank yous, no great job, no recognition of your hard devoted effort. Sometimes not even they appreciation from that person you assisted in helping to land safely in thier crisis. Sometimes, the only reward is, today I did manage to save a life, help a desperate person, find a safe place for someone or got them the help that they needed that comes from only you. Sometimes, if I can just reach out and hold a person hand and genuinely say I'll do what I can ... and mean it. Follow up is very, very important. After, informing everyone I have received my notice to vacate, with no boxes, no movers, no help. It's been very quiet for 8 days now. Last four months, they all wanted life stories, events, all sorts of documentation. Once received, now what? I don't trust anyone but me... I must tell this story because it is significant here. I was a a telehealth group like NOCD during Covid. A guy was telling his story and saying to us that he was unable to trust himself. Those words impacted me so emotionally, I was sad, scared, empathetic toward him and I cried. Didn't expect myself to feel that way. I realized that I would absolutely be lost if I did not trust me. Have the most wonderful rest of you day. And give yourself some grace and smile. Excuse my grammar errors, I do not feel like correcting nothing.

Everyone talks about the physical sensations that come with reacting to sexual content, even if it’s something you do not agree with (like bestiality, pedophilia, or incest). But what about the mental feeling, like when it feels like you liked the thought? I think I might have asked this before, but does anyone else relate? It stresses me out that I have a mental reaction to something of sexual content more than groinals. Anyone else?

Do you perhaps experience things like being so frustrated and numb because of how much your ocd drains you ? Then you are naturally caught up in a compulsion where you’re “physically testing” yourself to lets say something you watched years ago that is usually against your orientation?? If you know what I mean ? Even though you know you are (your own sexuality) and are in a very loving relationship and you really love your partner but does anyone experience this ?? And then they’re faced with more thoughts about how they’ve betrayed their partner and how their partner will leave and if you also struggle with scrupulosity ocd you feel like you’ve committed a huge sin and betrayed your faith ? Again I get all of this goes against values and that the human body may still react to things we naturally may be against but anyone still falls for the testing and then has this awful reaction afterwards? And does that really mean I betrayed my partner ?? Thank you so much for your time and I would really love your insights as this is something that popped up with me out of the blue …

But the difference is felt in day to day life. Many things I used to get caught up on I can now do easily. Being a teacher, an email to a parent to thank them for a gift would take at least 45 minutes to write and recheck. Today, instead of engaging, I noticed I wanted to recheck & sent it anyway. I have started practicing an instrument and doing things I’m “bad” at yet enjoy. I have more energy & have had to find new hobbies and routines to get that out (still a work in progress on that one). Although it’s hard, I am able to relax and enjoy myself if I actively make the choice to commit to the activity - be it hanging out with friends, reading or playing a video game. Before, all I did was think and obsess. I was too preoccupied for hobbies. All of this to say, things aren’t perfect & I still have work to do, but things are certainly much easier than at the start of the journey. Now to keep going to see if I can conquer my bee phobia alongside OCD 👀🥹

I have faith in every single one of you. I have had some of the toughest subtype you could ever go through, and I thought my life would be over. I know and understand how hard it is to handle. I still deal with it now, but I can manage it alot better. When they say the only way is through, it's true. You must believe in yourself. OCD only wants control. They should have called it "The Controlling Disorder". Life is unpredictable, unexpected, and especially uncontrollable. Each subtype that we deal with, we feel that we have to have the most control over. When we learn to let go of that control and accept the possibility, not the probability, it does get easier. Stay strong and keep moving forward!

My ocd them has gotten worse and I’m trying my hardest to not look for reassurance. Why does my mind play these tricks on me that I’m saying my thoughts out loud????? I’m trying my hardest to ignore it but it’s making me depressed. When I’m ignoring it my brain will go to “everybody will talk about you” “you said something bad” “you said it out loud and when you’ll live a terrible life”. I don’t know what to do anymore

I can remember the day I started having intrusive thoughts. I was so confused and scared. It’s been almost 3 months- does it get easier to manage? Currently taking medication and going to therapy, but this is all still very new, and very scary. Please tell me there’s relief in recovery..? I tend to isolate myself from my family, often. I’m tired, so so tired. :( Most days, I just stay on the couch or in bed. I don’t quite get as anxious, but like a “heart stopping” gut feeling when a thought pops up. I miss the me I was before the diagnosis. HOCD is scary and harder when it attacks the loved ones, spouse, in your home. :( My heart hurts.

Ok, so first of all, I’m undiagnosed. However, I’ve been pretty certain for a while now that what I’ve been struggling with is OCD. My problem though is that it’s not easy to get diagnosed, and in some cases, it would require me to pay money. It frustrates me that I have to pay to deal with my mental health. Is it worth it for me to get diagnosed? I know I don’t need a diagnosis to start healing and working on these things, but I also don’t want to be “self diagnosing” the problem, because that makes me feel like a liar and an imposter. My other problem is that I fear my family doctor won’t properly diagnose me. I came to him about mental health related issues once before, and he read off a very generic list of mental health symptoms. when he got to what sounded like the ‘OCD’ section, we asked one or two very generic questions that had nothing to do with my themes, and since I couldn’t relate, I just answered no to them. He then told me I was fine, that I was just a “type A personality”, and that I was just being too hard on myself. I fear that my doctor might not be very knowledgeable or up to date on current information regarding OCD, and this might make it increasingly difficult for me to get diagnosed. Another problem is my symptoms seem to come and go. I often have an obsessive cycle that can last months at a time, and then it just goes away. Sometimes I won’t experience any symptoms for years. This makes me feel like I don’t actually have OCD or that it’s not ‘bad’ enough to be diagnosable.

Hello, everyone. This is my first time posting on here, so I am very grateful for any insight or feedback that I may be able to receive. For decades, I have battled with what I can best describe as a compulsion to reset/restart my life and personality, and it is very hard to manage. While the timeline had varied and evolved over the years, on average, I have “reset” myself every week or so for about twenty-five years (I am currently thirty-six). Resetting has evolved over time, too, but it involves a lot of time devoted to putting things back to a baseline with my phone, computer, car, odometer, clothes, etc., as well as performing a lengthy ritualistic sequence of events the following day. These things allow me to mentally reset myself as though I am a character in a show, and the next morning is the first scene of the first episode. I tweak parts of my personality, and of course none of it ever sticks. I will purposefully put off progress in work and my personal life in order for those things to be credited to the new me with my upcoming reset. I’ll finally start exercising and dieting properly? Nope - I have to wait for the next reset. I’ll finally clean the house and be productive? Nope - next reset. I’ll knock out these work projects I’ve been putting off for a long time, or these personal projects I’ve always wanted to do for years - just kidding, wait for the reset. Naturally, every single time I reset, I am convinced that this is the final reset, and will be the permanent me…rinse and repeat thousands of times. Of course, very few of the things I put off for a reset actually happen for longer than a day or two, and then it’s back to delaying. It’s supremely frustrating. Anyway…does anybody have any sort of similar experience or insight? I’m having a hard time communicating it, but the impact of it over a quarter century now is pretty maddening.

I’ve given up with the confessing. I feel so drained and irredeemable that why even confess anymore? I don’t know if this is a good thing. On paper, it looks great. My bf thinks I’m better, but I feel like I’m dying. The attraction, arousal, urges, compulsions are all getting so much stronger. I feel like I’m embracing a monster. The POCD is driving me mad. I genuinely cannot see kids anymore because it’s immediate checking compulsions and intrusions. I need help. Has anyone gotten to this point and made it back to “normal”? I feel like a pedophile who is simply ashamed of being one.

I have this deep fear I’ll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread “bar like” situations where I know my partner won’t be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?

TW! please someone comment When I was 12 or 13 I used to babysit a little girl, she had a habit of keeping her hand in her diaper and was always touching herself, there was one point I was changing her diaper and noticed she was really red. I had separated her private parts and checked the inner area for signs of infection. She was okay, just some really really bad diaper rash. I know this is what happened yet my brain is trying to convince me that I hurt her, and that I wanted to do it, I know I would never hurt a child but with all the anxiety I feel when I think about it I'm starting to wonder if I did do it because I wanted to hurt her, I don't wanna be a p, I don't wanna hurt innocent children, I used to never have these thoughts but now I do and I'm so scared to tell my therapist as she hasn't diagnosed me with ocd yet. I don't want her to think I'm a p nor do I wanna hurt kids, but my brain keeps telling me that I do and that I'm just lying to myself and everyone around me, ik I would never do something that could harm a child but I keep getting these thoughts and their inappropriate and I just want them to stop, does anyone have any tips on how to help myself? I keep turning to my boyfriend for reassurance but ik that that's just a quick fix and that ill be spiraling about it again.Please help

In 2023, as I was finally getting sober from harder substances, I found myself in one of the scariest mental spaces I'd ever known. I was still smoking daily, my relationship was rocky, and one night—it all hit me. It felt like I had slipped into a video game. Nothing felt real… or maybe everything felt too real. The world around me was distorted. I had always dealt with anxiety, but this? This was something else. I was spiraling—drenched in guilt over everything I'd ever done, every person I thought I hurt, every wrong I tried to make right all at once. It was suffocating. At 23, I tried checking myself into a mental hospital—something I hadn’t done since I was 17. I was desperate to understand what was happening. My relationship took a hit as I spilled every ounce of guilt I carried to my partner, unable to stop the cycle. It wasn’t just anxiety. It was OCD. And while the diagnosis was terrifying at first, it was also reassuring. I finally had a name for the storm inside me. I wasn’t alone. People I admire—like Jenna Ortega—deal with this too. It’s not just me. It’s real, it’s hard, but it’s also something I can face. Since then, I’ve made big changes. I stopped smoking—realizing it only made the noise in my head louder. I started therapy. My partner didn’t understand at first, but as we both learned more about OCD together, we grew stronger. We’re now engaged, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. But now it’s time to reconnect—with myself. I want to find the me before everything. The creative, passionate, connected me. I want to start streaming games again and hopefully rebuild the following I lost. I want to connect with people again—I don’t have many friends left, but I’m determined to find my people again. I’m also diving back into my art. Journaling. Sketching—even when I don’t like it. Because it’s the act of creating that heals, not just the end result. I won’t let OCD run my life. I will prevail.

I know that sounds a bit harsh, but people with OCD think very differently then everyone else and we do strange things. I used to think OCD was just that we overthink to much and have compulsions to fix it, but its kinda alot more than that i realise. Like peoples lives are legit debilitated from this thing. Thats serious and i dont think others realise that. Mabye im concerned too much idk.

will i ever be free or is this all there is for the rest of my life