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I have a girlfriend, we have been together for 3 years, the thing is that several times I wanted to end her on the impulse of nothing, well not so many, about 2 times, also sometimes I felt that if another girl seemed attractive to me, it is that I wanted to be unfaithful and since several seemed attractive to me I was afraid of deceiving myself and forcing myself to love Until one day we argued and we didn't talk to each other all day and I saw a classmate from my university as attractive and the thought of being unfaithful came to me, but I didn't do anything, I even felt an emptiness in myself, this or even thinking about breaking up when we argued, brings me to today's question A week ago I felt a disconnection, that I was forcing myself to love her or I was deceiving myself to love her because everything I did felt forced, that she did not show real affection and was forcing me and with the above mentioned I felt worse, I felt that I played with her and I did not love her and before she asked me these same questions, but they disappeared, but now I ask artificial intelligence, I look for videos on TikTok, it says it's OCD, but I wonder if it's Today I reached my limit, because we saw each other, we had some time alone and when I was with her I seemed ugly or irritable and that had me thinking all day, I even told her to end the relationship because I lie to myself and I must stay out of habit or loneliness, I cried, I hit myself, I felt nauseous being at that point, and I even feel my chest heavy, I would like your opinion on whether it looks OCD or just I don't love it anymore, I appreciate the answer, sorry if you don't understand parts, I use a translator

How does everyone try to combat their real event OCD? I keep remembering this certain memory where an old friend of mine from a group years ago who was a guy messaged me on Snapchat last year on Halloween he said something to me. I don’t remember what he said and I responded and I don’t remember what I said, but I do remember that I removed him right after, as well as one other guy, I do remember why I removed them and it was because I had a thought where I was like “I don’t want my fiance seeing these guys that I used to talk to on my snap and think that I’m doing something wrong or anything.” I know I removed them out of respect for our relationship and I remembered because I remembered I had gotten an anxious and nervous because they were still on my snap, but 2 months after I un added that guy off my snap(December 2024) I panicked because I don’t remember what I said or he said and I got worried about what if I flirted and said something wrong. I spoke to my fiancé about it and he pretty much reassured me and he told me that if I had actually done something out of that intent, I wouldn’t have told him about it at all, so that helped me and reassured me for a little bit, and then my OCD moved on to another theme for months. Fast forward to now, I remembered the same thing and my thought was “What if I cheated and I blocked it out of my memory.” And I started freaking out again and I started panicking. I told my fiancé about it again and he reassured me again but recently my OCD has been really bad and every theme I’ve had has caused me to have bad mental breakdowns intensely, it just sucks because I can’t go check if I actually said something flirty and I just didn’t realize it because I added the guy last year right after I talk to him I just wanted to know if anyone has any thing that they do whenever they have a problem with their relevant OCD around the cheating theme. Because my fiancé is a god sent and I’d never ever want to hurt him, I hate that my ocd attaches to him because it makes me feel like I’m a horrible person.

20+ only please I think I am a p because I am awake with my eyes closed and I’m thinking of a girl I use to know in middle school and we are having relations and I’m turned on and I felt like Masterb##### too I’m not sure if I intentionally thought it or it was an intrusive dream I was checking also

My psychiatrist is tired of my reassurance seeking too but I feel like a wanted criminal either I did something in my sleep or he did and I’m scared because what happened was I asleep???? I can’t live with the uncertainty because I may be a R Sometimes I feel like a p with Pocd I ask him and he says I never did anything but what if he’s lying because sometimes I’m suspicious of him

This is a question that I've been pondering since... ever. I feel like I've wasted so many years being controlled by fear + perfection. I know that to start living, I just have to do it, but why do I keep holding myself back? I choose comfort every single time. I choose waiting for the perfect moment, when the perfect moment SHOULD be NOW. There's so much I want to do in life, so many things I've wanted to be. When I was little, I wanted to be a princess, then a pop star, and after that, a zookeeper. But as I grew older, I didn't feel a connection to any sort of career or subject. There were things I enjoyed, but it was never anything I wanted to make a career out of, and I remember always feeling behind... But this past year or so, I've discovered so much about myself ever since being diagnosed with OCD. I have pushed myself to try so many new things, and I feel ready to get my life in order. I just don't know where to begin? And I'm stuck in this cycle of making excuses for myself. "I'll do (xyz) later," and then I never get to it. "I can't do (xyz) because blah blah blah—" but if I really, really wanted something, wouldn't I do anything I could to accomplish it? I just feel stagnant. I set so many unnecessary and impossible requirements for myself when trying to start or get anything done. I want to preserve nature and its inhabitants, but also historical artifacts (and history as a whole). I want to help humanity and to make the world a better place in all the ways I can. But I overwhelm myself in the process. It's always too much or too little with me :( Sorry for ranting. I guess, does anyone older have any advice to stop holding myself back? I know I'm young, but I feel restless. I want to be doing more than I am.

It all started 6 years ago when I was 27 years old when I was really stressed at work and my friend said well here's some gummies they have to THC they help you relax.I didn't think anything of it I just popped that thing into my mouth not there a few minutes like the world started distortionating and freaked out because I'd never I done drugs before only like alcohol. It was a hell of a nightmare that night. I keep thinking I didn't feel right and the world felt unreal. etc I asked my sister to take me to the ER the deal all the test said I had the AC on my system and then I have to stay awake at the hospital the doctor concluded I had seizure so she sent me neurologist I was taking the medication normally and then months my friend gave me the THC gummy again 😅. I didn't put 2 and 2 together the first time. Well said let me try it a little bit I'll take it at home but I tried a little bit just a bite during wind again did the world distortion 😑. And that's when I realized it was the gummies but it was too late. I was scared having a panic attack wondering if what was happening was real the world was real if the people were real what was real what was not real in and out of consciousness. And after that day did panic attacks happen that anxiety the depression daily panic attacks daily that I was going crazy. I asked my family to go take me to go get mental health and they gave me medication anxiety subsided a little bit but the intrusive thoughts did not. Always having those thoughts if the world was real if everything were real, if the present was real what if I was crazy and everything was happening in my head what if I was dead etc etc etc anything to do with reality I also got desrealization along with the panic attacks. I tried telling me to this soon my psychiatrist you looked at me like I was crazy and he looked confused. Well long story short that's MY PURE OBSESSION OCD is thinking of the world me around is not real somehow basically. My question is should I drink alcohol to desensitize from it or not because that triggers my obsession and make is really bad

It all started 25 years ago in junior high school. At first it was the way I walked, I remember one day thinking that I was walking "like a girl" and needed to keep that in check. Already there was this theme of gender insecurity. Then HOCD hit and caused major depression for a few years. But it was nothing compared to the TOCD that replaced it and has plagued me to this day, because here I actually had reasons to believe I could be trans: around the age of 12 I started developing this debilitating bundle of social anxiety around other men, coupled with a feminization/submission kink which I think goes hand-in-hand with the social anxiety. At the root there is this feeling that I'm inferior to most men, so the interactions with them (or even just being around them) are very painful and fill my mind with images of myself being feminized, “sissified”, dominated sexually. I often resort to compulsively looking for some girl/woman nearby or anyone I feel is nonthreatening, to alleviate the mental turmoil. I constantly observe myself, how I move etc and anything vaguely “feminine” (whatever it means to my sick mind, I guess anything that shows vulnerability, sensitivity, empathy?) needs to be suppressed and countered with something stereo-typically masculine. And then when I'm alone and still drowning in all those disturbing feelings and thoughts, I start getting urges to embody that twisted self-image and seek sexual gratification from it, finding it very addictive and hard to resist probably because it has that shame and taboo component. The kind of bottomless rabbit hole that may lead to transitioning and living in fantasy-land 24/7 if you decide to embrace it, and reddit is full of men who do just that. So I think I got one of the worst deal of cards ever. The fact that there is a concrete basis for my gender OCD is why I’ve never tried to tackle all that stuff with OCD-specific therapy. So all I’ve been doing is try to “solve” the complex traumas that I assume are at the root of the feelings of crushing inferiority, but it’s far from clear how I should go about it. To be honest I’m still pretty much in the same spot I was decades ago fundamentally, which is incredibly depressing. Those issues have ruined my life so far, I have no friends, I’ve been unable to express my potential in career paths that required networking and socializing, I’m clinging to a dead-end job because I don’t see the point in trying something else when everything ends up tainted and ruined by the same old issues. In recent years I tried several treatments which improved my ability to break the thought loops, and to not beat myself up constantly for the painful interactions and shame-inducing urges, so in a sense they helped me function better and brought periods of relative optimism. But I don’t like the idea of being on meds for life especially if the root issues persist. And I’ve seen how the positive effects, quite radical at first, quickly fade off to a level where you start having very bad days again. With depressing side effects. So I don’t know, I feel like I’ve got multiple severe defects interacting and reinforcing one another, and frankly I’m getting very tired. I mean I also have attachment issues, so a healthy long-term relationship is incredibly unlikely and I actually have relationship OCD every time I try to get serious with someone. Too bad, because having a girlfriend is usually a major source of relief for all my gender insecurities, and normal sex tends to make my stupid trauma-fed kink go away. I don’t know what to do in terms of therapies, I believe my case would require daily work with a team of experts in various techniques but I’m just a nobody so I only have access to regular therapists, whom I always feel can’t handle the complexity I’m facing. Do you think I should still try to find an OCD/ERP therapist?

Hey everyone, a bit of a word vomit here. I am just trying to tackle this issue so I know where to start. I’ve already been working with a therapist. However, I am unable to figure out my triggers on what bothers me so I dont know how to tackle these issues. I don’t suffer from intrusive thoughts that I can recall, which makes me doubt that I even have OCD because I heard you can’t have OCD without intrusive thoughts? All I do is ruminate all day on what bothers me most which is that I am unsure if I want to harm others. I know I dont want to be a violent person but I worry that I might be? I wonder if it is a part of me or if it’s something that I want to do and I genuinely cannot tell, which concerns me. I know for a fact that I constantly seek reassurance and I find comfort when I do convince myself this is all OCD.

I feel like I did something bad like I was in a huanted house and this girl wanted me to hold her hand and we were holding hands and she went to put my hands beside her boob and I’m just like omg this is wrong because she’s younger than me and I think she’s a minor So now I think I’m a criminal even though my intention was not evil

I’m on the train and was sitting in front of a little girl and I feel like her mom thinks I’m a p because my eyes keep looking

Tomorrow I'm going to a protest. It's my first protest ever, and I'm terrified! I was supposed to go with my Dad, but he forgot and made plans with someone else. I really want to be there, so even though I'm super anxious, I'm going to go alone. The last protest in my city had a big turn-out and was really peaceful, so I feel like I shouldn't be too anxious, but there's a possibility of aggressive counter protestors or ICE showing up (which I know might escalate things). And apparently, you aren't supposed to bring your phone to a protest, but I need to be able to communicate with my family since I'm being dropped off. I'm just panicking a bit, I guess. Sorry if I'm rambling. I want to push myself out of my comfort zone, and I want to show up for people who aren't able to. This is important to me, but I'm really scared and questioning whether or not I'll be safe going alone.

Hi guys I really struggle with compulsively googling or going through my text messages from years ago or going through my pictures to try to prove/ disprove things based around my obsessions (sure many can relate) . I am at the point where I feel like I need to just live without technology but we all know that’s lowkey impossible in this day and age. I am a student and currently hunting for full time jobs so maybe a flip would make things difficult idk. I am confused though, because if I do get a flip phone, would that be like avoidance over sitting with discomfort, or would it force me to sit with it like “welp I have no way of knowing” Also I know that you can still text and take pictures and all that sort of thing on a flip but I think it would help me with my compulsive googling or not going through my contacts if I start fresh with a flip. like on the one hand it would help with not being able to do a compulsion but on the other it’s like I feel like I wouldn’t be stopping the compulsion out of my own will power, I just straight up wouldn’t really be able to do the compulsion. This is all so confusing. Anyways - opinions?

I saw this minor at the airport and I kept looking at him and I feel like a p because I thought he was attractive and I walked by him and was stomach was out so I felt like I did that to impress him and when I went outside his mom looked at me

I have experienced OCD in many forms ... Self harm, harm if others, religion etc. But now it's targeting my relationship and honestly it's debilitating at times.. I'm always convinced my person is cheating. However my relationship has became toxic . When it's good it's good .. When it's bad it's very bad. I have OCD and I worry about these things and when I do he now becomes angry.. he won't reassure anymore. Which is fine that is his choice but the anger and the things he says when he is angry about me "not trusting" him have built a wall . I want to do my part in making the relationship work.. but is it really my fault he calls me out of me name because he feels untrusted.. If you name it I've been called it And is it really my OCD wondering if I should just leave because this person makes it so clear that they hate me when they are questioned by my insecurities and the need for reassurance. Constantly.. to the point in which they tell me ..along with many other things.. It's abuse .. But then really isn't my OCD abusing them .. Not trusting.. questioning where about.etc . I love them I'm doing my part to fix me.. But why if you love me the way you say do u not see that you need therapy and meds too .. The thing is... Is that he was in therapy and taking meds... And he was a completely different person... As soon as I started he stopped How can the unhealthy cycle be fixed if we are not both working to better ourselves not just for each other but for our own selves . I love him I want to work I want to try.. but even if I'm trying will it be enough for you to want to or see that the things you say when angry stick in my mind... Infact they play non stop because I know obsess over them too .. Thanks for letting me vent .. honestly there is no need to reply .. I know I'm staying in this relationship because I do love him so much.. but I do truly need him to work on his issues as well My partner I feel like also has OCD he went through months of questioning about my past, comparing himself to it etc.. It was exhausting trying to defend 20 years of previous partners, remember positions etc .. He's got anger issues and then he had that .. he seemed therapy went on meds and all of his issues stopped .. w a seldom insecurity about my past . He since stopped his therapy and meds . Anger is back .. Hasn't brought the past up too much but a few times it's came up . But I'm terrified to even mention my OCD .. because that's the only time he gets angry .. Is when I question the cheating or where abouts etc. Or when I don't accept his reassurance and still doubt him... Ughhh

does anyone else struggle with both ocd and bipolar?

For the last week, I have gotten little sleep. The first 3 or 4 days, I would lay on the couch shaking, having like full body jerks, exhausted but laying there with my eyes closed all night. Tossing and turning for hours and maybe slept a total of 30-60 minutes very broken up through the night. The last few days, I'll feel a bit better and try to go to sleep and wake up 45-60 minutes later or an hour and a half later it I'm lucky, before everything floods back. I get jerky and shaky, my stomach has a pit, I feel that dread, anger, anxiety, and I'll be tossing and turning again with bits where I fall asleep for 20-40 minutes maybe 2-4 times through the entire night and morning. It's driving me insane. It's scary that I can't sleep much and when I do, it feels like torture and I'll have nightmares for the little bits I do get.

Hello! I've been trying to help out people earlier today, which I love to do. But damn, I'm feeling the flare-up super bad today. The thoughts, the sensations (mainly groinals and somatic; nausea and throat tightness, the urges, and feelings were non-stop today. And I probably reinforced that through compulsions of checking, testing, and reading forums. It really felt like I was back at square one ever since September started. I had a really bad and short episode of health OCD, which exposed me to my triggers. Now it's come back SO-OCD and ROCD have come back to bite me harder plus the pressure of taking the nursing board exams this November. It all just feels too overwhelming. I kept getting thoughts like "What if I'm lying, What if I acted a certain way, which where other people might think you're another orientation, What if I'm using OCD as an excuse, Why did I dream about this, Why did my body react like this, why did you move like this, maybe you don't love your gf" it's just all what ifs, the whys, the doubts and it became too much today that I actually broke down. Prior to these themes, I really was happy, I just wanted to live life with my gf because she brought color to my world and she made me genuinely happy. For once, I was really happy. But then these themes came and ruined a lot of things. I still want to live life with her, to be able to see her smile every day. I just love my girlfriend so much, and it hurts me just thinking about not being with her. I hate this disorder so much, and how much it took things away from me ever since I was little. The doubts, the distress, the trauma this caused, I grieve for my past self. I find myself constantly breaking down, and it still hurts that I'm robbed of my identity, my life, my love for my partner. I know these are just intrusions, manifestations that feel so strong. I know I can still do the things I want together with my girlfriend. But damn, I just wish I could catch a break and enjoy the things and people I love. Sorry, I had to let it all out.

are not random burdens; they are mirrors reflecting the meaning you attach to your thoughts. You suffer because the meanings you create are rigid and absolute, dividing your inner world into light and shadow, saint and sinner, worthy and unworthy. This split produces a double-mindedness, a divided psyche struggling to reconcile its opposites. Imagine your thoughts as figures that rise from the depths of the unconscious, much like waves emerging from the sea. They are not moral or immoral in themselves; they simply are. Yet when they reach the shore of consciousness, you label them good, evil, holy, or profane, and in that act of naming, you give them life. The moment you judge the thought, it gains substance, and what was once a passing wave becomes a tidal force crashing upon your inner shore. Consider the person with OCD who calls themselves a bad person for an intrusive thought. That judgment, born of fear and moral expectation, gives the thought weight and reality. It becomes a living symbol of guilt. But pause for a moment and ask yourself, can anyone prove their goodness? Who among us stands pure when the full contents of the unconscious are brought to light? If all humanity examined itself as the scrupulous mind does, we would all drown in despair. For the obsessive, this process happens instinctively. The psyche, in its fear of chaos, clings to moral order, even if that order imprisons it. Each thought is measured against an inner ideal that can never be met. The more one tries to be pure, the more the shadow resists, demanding recognition. This is why the thought feels so real: you have projected meaning onto it, fusing it with the moral energy of your inner archetypes. To free oneself, one must begin to deconstruct the foundation upon which such meanings rest. Morality, viewed psychologically, is not an eternal law written outside of man but a tapestry woven by the collective psyche, shaped by religion, culture, and fear of the unknown. It is a structure born of humanity’s longing for order amid chaos. To see morality as a human formation does not abolish right and wrong; it allows you to see that the moral code itself is symbolic, a language through which the soul seeks wholeness. When you loosen the grip of the meanings you assign to thoughts, you begin to see through the illusion of time and identity. The past becomes a myth retold by memory, and the future a projection of hope or fear. What remains real is the living moment and the conscious act of choice. Peace does not come by silencing the thoughts or purifying the mind, but by integrating what has been split apart, by seeing both light and shadow as belonging to one and the same Self.

i feel like im dissociating, when i am with my boyfriend and i look at him i am hollow , when i think about him and being with him forever, and tbinking about the 2 year and a half together its like i cant rember how it was to feel in love pr to love him i feel like… i have no feelings and i dont know what i feel and nothing makes me feel better … i tried not posting here but i just want someone to help me. i dont know what i feel i feel disconnected from myslelf , from him… like i dont love him and im just existing with him (we dont live together, he stays at my place at weekends and we dont sleep together at night my partents still dont allow it even if im 18) , i dont know what i feel my chest is so tight… i look at him and feel so hollow… i even have many many moments when he annoys me, or i get the ick, or think he is stupid making me think its the end and the thoughts i once feared became true and i dont have rocd… maybe all this time… all these 2 years of me gaving thoughts was just me not accepting the truth… i cant remeber how it is to love… im not feeling anything… seeing people in love witj their partner and being happy makes me so sad… bc im not happy, even though he loves me.. im horible… am i trully like this? why? it feels so real. why. im tired… i cant acces therapy or meds, i have to heal alone, the problem is that i cant even stand talking to him vc hearing his voice, seeing him, talking to him, imagining a life with him makes me want to cry and be alone bc my mind tells me i dont live him that i cant stand him anymore and i have changed, that my feelings are gone and that is why i cant see a life with him, i dont understand why i have so many negative emotions towords him when he loves me so much, im thinking this isnt ocd and in just forcing myslef to love him and to stay bc i have this expectation i put on us from the start that he is the one. i keep thinking i want to break up but i dont have a solid reason, just how bad i feel , i havesi much anxiety and i fee si stressed its making me go crazy. Some people told me on nocd once that maybe i just matured and my feelings and preception changed. I feel like i lost myslf i used to be so loving and carring and daydream even though i had thoughts about me not living him but it just got worser and worser and went to a psychologist a while ago, hoping I’d get some clarity about what I was going through, especially with my constant relationship doubts and emotional numbness. But instead of feeling heard or understood, I was told things like “maybe you never really loved him” or “maybe you’re just not being honest with yourself.” That experience didn’t help me — it made my thoughts worse. It planted seeds of even more doubt, and I left that session feeling more broken, more confused, and even more alone. Now, I can’t go back to therapy because my parents don’t believe I need it. They won’t support me emotionally or financially with it, and that makes everything feel even heavier. I’m stuck with these thoughts, with no professional support, and I’m trying to hold on I’ve been like this for almost 2 years and it only got worse. I feel hollow and numb, like I lost myself. When I look at old pictures or read old messages it feels like a completely different person wrote them — not me. I can’t remember how it felt to love him, I can’t imagine a future with him, and even when I’m next to him or kissing him I feel fake, uncomfortable and anxious inside. My mom told me things like “maybe you only put it in your head that you have to be with him” and her words are stuck in my head, making everything feel even more real, like it’s the truth. My chest feels so tight all the time, and I’m scared that there’s nothing to heal because this isn’t OCD but just me realizing I don’t love him. I want to heal, but I feel like I don’t have the strength to do it alone and I can’t access therapy. I feel trapped inside my own mind and I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s like my fear became reality.

Changing plays a part on ALL your senses. 1. Emotional Attachment Past experiences, especially those tied to love, loss, or trauma, often carry strong emotions. These feelings can linger and make it hard to move forward, especially if the past felt safer or more meaningful than the present. Stop fully investing in anyone (new) in 2003. 2. Unresolved Issues When something from the past remains unresolved — like unanswered questions, regrets, or unfinished business — the mind tends to revisit it, trying to make sense of it or find closure. Solved it all. say my peace , straight then ✌🏽. Key: all parties must take ownership of their part. And admit the truth that they don't want to see, or feel the pain from. My growth and healing does NOT depend on them. Sorry 3. Identity and Self-Perception People often define themselves by their past. If someone has built their identity around a particular experience or relationship, letting go can feel like losing a part of themselves. Partially agree. I do not identity with my past in that way. I was a runner so I wouldn't have to. 👎🏽✌🏽 4. Fear of the Unknown The future is uncertain, and the past is familiar. Even if the past was painful, it can feel safer than stepping into something new and unknown. WAS TRUE but from age 14 until not I am over it. Sometimes change is serenity and I love ❤️ that. 5. Guilt or Shame Some people hold on to the past because they feel guilty or ashamed about something they did or didn’t do. That emotional weight can make it hard to forgive themselves and move on. From a teenager to now, I have learned that my same stemmed from me being raised in church and hearing Bible verses in Mt head when I was deciding what was bad or good. Right or wrong in my parents eyes. It spent a lot of my adult young age years dealing with my morals and beliefs. Trying to be "good" and trying not to be a 'Statistic". At about 28, I threw those towels in. Because no matter what I did good people still labeled you. So I flipped a bird and decide that I didn't need anyone to reassurance me about nothing because I already know who I am. If they don't believe me then who gives a ahit, I dont. 6. Nostalgia and Idealization Sometimes, people romanticize the past, remembering it as better than it actually was. This idealization can make the present feel disappointing in comparidon't. I remember the buttlefies, and puppy dog tails because I want to. I also remember the perspectives for each of my siblings. The thing about it all is I had to force them to admit to the good stuff. They were old, so as a younger kid, it was like pulling teeth to get them to admit to the fun stuff. My problem with that is why hold onto ALL NEGATIVE SHIT AND NO POSITIVE? That by itself is miserable AF and I don't do things to myself like that. So when my family said your were a kid, your weren't even paying attention. I would bust their head by reciting what I knew and understood about each one of them. What mom had said in a problem directly to them, how she told them to fix, what they ask dad about and what he said know to, and who got mage at him and held it against him until he died. I felt the shit when you went through knuckle head... because I was there. I seen all yall tears, fears, AND brawls. Just because I wanted to smile didn't mean I did understand your scars. I believed in family and I also believe in love. I believe that good alway win. So I took that path. Shit was not that bad any, not she died and we all was separated. They do know the half... why because they would have hold some of the responsibility. The end 😝 You pass don't determine you. It's just a peace you. Those who don't want to let go of YOUR PAST, leave them there. And keep moving forward. Being there, done that and dues are paid. Thanks