My psychiatrist is tired of my reassurance seeking too but I feel like a wanted criminal either I did something in my sleep or he did and I’m scared because what happened was I asleep???? I can’t live with the uncertainty because I may be a R Sometimes I feel like a p with Pocd I ask him and he says I never did anything but what if he’s lying because sometimes I’m suspicious of him
As hard as it is when going through these more taboo themes of OCD we must live with the uncertainty because the truth is certainly is a myth there are only two things that are set in stone we are born and we die other than that nothing is a hundred percent. I'd say try to get eith a therapist and do ERP as soon as possible
@AnonymousOCDSuffer I’m scared it might not be ocd
I’m really sorry that you’re feeling so bad :( Untreated OCD is hard to go through so I want to validate your feelings
@Love1another<3 I’m just scared because if I’m actually a hidden r?
@Idontknow I don’t want to make it worse with reassurance but the “what if” and seeking the truth or certainty about it is just the nature of OCD. Your brother, family, friends and people on here wouldn’t all be telling you lies about who you are. I had to accept that I was actually the one who was wrong about myself and everyone else who was telling me I have OCD and am a good person were the right ones. I hope that helps…
@Idontknow I think I saw you mention that you were starting ERP with a therapist soon. When is that starting, may I ask? I’d love to give ERP advice along the way
@redline He would say something to someone if I actually did something??? Right :((( I don’t think I should ask him that
@Love1another<3 November 6 I have an appointment
@Idontknow Yes, and most of the time asking questions like that can make things worse or more difficult. I know that from my own experience. Look forward to your appointment- make sure you don’t hold back from expressing what’s going on for you. Remember that therapists hear about different kinds of OCD all the time… nothings going to surprise them. They will be in a good position to help if you share how you’re really feeling!
@Idontknow Oh that’s wonderful I’m super happy for you that you’re getting treatment :) That’s super important and I hope it can give you hope because ERP will give you your life back. POCD is the same as contamination OCD. All OCD content is the same- and your future ERP therapist will teach you this as well. So just like resisting washing your hands 30 times, we wanna dig in and try our best to resist ruminating as well
@redline I hope it is OCD I’m praying it is !!
@Love1another<3 You think so? People with contamination ocd have urges and intentional thoughts? :(
@redline I’m scared because I had a terrible experience once with a therapist when I spoke about the thoughts
@Idontknow You’ll have to feel it out, if you want to share your specific thoughts right away or not. Eventually if it’s an OCD/ERP therapist they will want to know some more specific thoughts because then they can help you do ERP exposures which can only make things better for you. If you go into the appointment telling the therapist you have POCD for example, then they can be prepared to help! If you’re telling them you’re having thoughts about what if I did this or that or what if I did something in my sleep or what if I was being inappropriate in some way they will be able to tell what’s going on! Especially if it’s a NOCD therapist… they really do understand. Mine sure did.
@Idontknow Yes they can experience those symptoms :) Contamination Ocd sufferers get urges to clean and throw out items that they think are contaminated with a life threatening disease. They also intentionally think about these things (rumination). I have relationship OCD and I get urges and intentional thoughts (which is often intentional rumination or just my mind wandering). All OCD themes can have the same symptoms- it just depends on the specific person. For example, reassurance seeking is one of my compulsions but my therapist (who has OCD as well) said reassurance wasn’t one of her compulsions
@redline I appreciate your support, thank you so much!! I hope it does work I want to be normal again or just ok 😞
@Love1another<3 Well, I just hope that I’m not an actual p I’m so upset I wish I knew that therapist it’s great to have someone who understands
@Idontknow It’s totally okay :) I know your intentions ❤️🩹
@Idontknow I know it doesn’t feel like it but you are normal and you are OK. Just dealing with something difficult called OCD
The above comment is so true. Also, I have worried intensely about the same thing- if something happened while I was asleep. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we both worry about something like this happening (or that it has happened), and I don’t think it’s a sign that we are both bad people who have the same exact bad thoughts, ideas, and desires. I think we worry and think about this because we both have OCD :) Accepting uncertainty is so key. You and I seriously can’t know everything for sure. We have to accept that. That is the first and biggest step to feeling better. You can do it!
@redline I’m very upset, what is the truth:((((
Comment deleted by user
@Spykids45 It wasn’t intentional so you have nothing to worry about I know it’s hard to get out of the spiral 😞😞😞
Am I the P I was always scared to be? Or am I still the amazing mom I once was? I need support. I just need someone to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. I want to get past it all. My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest BIGGEST fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so wanted in the moment and SO real. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support?
Hate those times where you can decipher if it’s false memories or real. My theme is Pocd and I Cosleep with my son and ocd really loves to mess with that. My brain is spinning and trying to spiral into me thinking I touch my little one inappropriately in my sleep. This little image that keeps replaying is me turned towards him but my hand was on his thigh and I do believe he was in his side. And I remember I grabbed the blanket but for some reason I feel as if I grabbed or felt the blanket where it was folded. (Not sure if I was trying to fully cover him back because the pass couple nights he was tangled up in the blanket) I don’t remember what happed after that because I went back to sleep. But that little part I want to be certain I was messing with the blanket and not inappropriately touching my son. I mean can you touch someone inappropriately while sleeping? I’m sure a “real” pedo would plan something like this right? Like they would go to sleep with that intention. (Which I didn’t) Someone please help
Yup! Been like this February,worst Part is that I was intoxicated and in a bad place my thoughts were going totally insane,my 8 year old niece spend the night with me and my intrusive thoughts were telling me to molested her and all of the above ☝🏻 I do remember staring at her for a while and thinking 💭 If I did something to her she would probably say it or she would wake up,it gave me a good sense of relieve but now and since then …I can’t fully remember if I did,just for the”hmm let’s test this out and see if she would actually wake up” kind of like those,,,I wonder if u pull a dogs tail he would turn around and bark or bite me,trust me…shit like that would backfire at you and I haven’t really been at peace since then…I try to also control My self and try to use uncertainty but to be honest the vision and memory are so real like very vivid as if it happens so for me it did happend and I feel Horrible,I currently in my mid 30’s and these thoughts lash out f nowhere since I was 26,somehow I knew how to manage them,I would Do Compulsions as avoiding my niece and any type Of kid,I would Get extremely paranoid when I had to change her diapers and could do something to harm her.i never been attracted to children in my life,yes! Unfortunately i was molested sexually as a kid by a man from ages 6-9 and one of the things that would Kill Me and trigger me would be the fact that I wonder why? Why do they do that why ? What do they feel ?! And for my disadvantage….im Like the kid that you tell Them”don’t push that red button or else…🚨🧨💣🤯” and guess what?! My Hyperactive dumb ass is still Gonna push the button cause I wanna know what the hell is gonna happend for my self,and I feel that I did something g that I will regret my whole Life! Sometimes when I’m calmer I think with logic and see things from another perspective but then ocd and paranoia kicks in and it’s exhausting and mentally draining!so Guess what?! It sucks! This sucks! to live like this and having to live with the …”what ifs,did I or Did I not!?” But u aren’t alone friend just know theirs plenty of us out there Worst part of all this i havent been able.to fill in the gaps and it makes me.feel like a monster,did i molested my niece in her sleep,what if.my intentions were actually bad,im the kind of person that a thought can be morbid and I have tp figure it out,so when I think to my that I do something it's because I was clearly thinking okay let me.tedt.my self or see if I do feel.something and that shit will backfire on you BAD! Because then I will think*what kind of a human being on earth wpuld.do something like that?!* and it triggers me bad,I mean really bad like anxiety and panick attacks and not wanting to live with my self with this guilt!idk if there's someone else out there with a case like this bit if their is please dont make me feel that im alone, not looking for reassurance just support
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
