- Date posted
- 49w
I just got my SSRI’s and I’m kinda nervous to take them so I was wondering if anyone has had a good or bad experience with them.
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I just got my SSRI’s and I’m kinda nervous to take them so I was wondering if anyone has had a good or bad experience with them.
i am nearly constantly extremely anxious and i don't want to live like this. my family and friends are so done dealing with me to the point that i feel that i'd be better off completely alone. every small twinge or pain in my body sends me into a panic, and if it's not that it's something else i manage to be worrying over. i'm fairly certain my stress has caused an ulcer to form. i try to sit with myself and not seek reassurance/check myself for issues but it is genuinely agonizing at times. most days i sleep 12-14 hours a day because it gets to a point that i cannot deal with it anymore and i take something to sleep. sometimes i do feel that i would be better off just not around so i wouldn't have to feel this any longer. i do a lot of unhealthy things to cope (drinking, smoking, and otc sleeping pills being the main culprits) and those habits end up hurting me in the long run and making me more anxious. i do have a counselor and she is great but i'm having a really hard time finding a medication provider under my insurance. i really really do want to get better because this is the most miserable i have ever been and i hate being like this and exhausting myself and the people around me. i've been told a big part of the healing process is to make yourself sit with your thoughts and deal with the uncertainty and fear as it comes, but it feels torturous to do that. sometimes reading through these posts does make me feel better knowing that i'm not alone but lately i have been unable to pull myself out of this frantic state. what are some healthier ways to cope/distract yourself that you guys find to be at least semi-effective? i am genuinely willing to try anything to make this terrible feeling go away
for women…. a couple of days ago i was having woman private pain when touching it and then now i’m having some stomach pain like i need to use the bathroom… but everytime i move in a position like bending down i get the pain like a sore pain or something “down there” i’m so scared i’ve been googling and i’m so scared if i have cancer or something that could lead to death… idk what to do i’m actually so scared if i have something that i don’t know about i thought i had a UTI a couple of months ago and i didn’t i was fine since i got tested for it…
But it actually feels worse, and no not because now Im letting myself feel the feelings, I feel more stressful and hopelessness sparked out too, and a weird scary feeling, i think its anxiety, that i feel back in the pandemic and I woke up at the middle of the night feeling that feeling many times.For years i felt good now that im trying to let myself feel the emotions, fear and hopelessness kicks in. I understand that you should accept and allow every feeling, but if you have alot of fear it will just throw you wherever it wants and you will feel hopeless. I know when you are there, feeling depressed and hopeless it means you did something bad(well not always but you know what i mean). I tried it but this scary feeling of hopeless anxiety made me stop it.
I've got a smart watch that tracks my sleep. It gives data like heart rate, heart rate variability (HRV), respiratory rate, sleep cycles, restfullness, etc etc etc. Well, since the health OCD has gotten to its peak, I am noticing a false patterning coming from it. For context; I was sick 2 times in recent memory where sleeping heart rate and HRV became metrics that I could use to sort of track the illness. In the days leading up to it, I'd notice my heart rate going up and HRV going down (higher hrv is better.) Then when I was fully sick, my HRV would be up to 15ms less than normal. So now, when I look over my sleep data (because I like to look at data like that, it is interesting to me) and notice my HRV is lower than normal, it triggers intrusive thoughts of "am i getting sick again?" despite no other symptoms. Ruminating begins as I try to "figure out" the cause, despite knowing that stress can lower sleeping HRV. My question is; is it a compulsion to be looking at my sleep data? Should I avoid it altogether? Or is this exactly what ERP is; exposing myself to a triggering event and preventing the response? I look at the data either way and it is only alarming when I see something out of the ordinary. So, do I stop tracking my sleep, or is this a good small step for ERP?
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Read my Health and Contamination OCD story →Just wondering if anyone else has shortness of breath caused by anxiety? I’ve been going through a really tough three months anxiety wise (POTS flareup; grief; migraines; panic attacks etc etc). Two days ago a new symptom appeared and it’s knocked me. Shortness of breath 😭 bc I’ve got POTS I’ve had a lot of heart tests done (multiple ECGS, 24 hour holter monitor) which all came back fine apart from the obvious tachycardia that comes with POTS. I had an echocardiogram done on Monday but no results back yet, but I had a consultation with my doctor yesterday and she said that’s probably good news bc they don’t mess around when it comes to your heart. And also my doctor has urgently referred me to a mental health team for therapy bc I basically broke down on the phone to her. One thing I’m mostly panicking about is this shortness of breath. I’ve had it with panic attacks before but this is mainly anxiety riddled feels like my breathing is too noticeable/wheezy without actually PHYSICALLY being wheezy. I’ve done my oxygen and it always stays between 97-99% so I know I’m getting enough oxygen but it does not feel that way and it’s so scary !! I also had a clear chest xray about ten months ago. Idk I feel like I’m just spending every day scanning my body because it feels OFF. Then I’ll finally relax JUST before I fall asleep and all my symptoms disappear. Then I wake up, have a nice 20 seconds before I start scanning again. It’s exhausting. Just looking for some support :(
Do you resolve one symtpom only to be left with a new one? How can I deal with that? It's almost like one went away and another began.
I was diagnosed with gallbladder sand(sludge) which is not gallbladder stones yet but it can become that, and normally it does not have any symptoms but for me, I feel pain on the right side of my stomach. And i read about it and everywhere on the internet it says its gallbledder issues. I took medicine for it for 10 days and today the treatment ended but i still feel that pain and I start to worry. It's not unbereable, but it bugs me, why the right side of my stomach hurts... It says it sbould feel like a stabbing pain but I cant describe how it feels. I'm worried that it got worse or nothing happened. And it makes me angry cause before i didnt noticed it, I only remember 1 night when i had this pain, but since the diagnosis I felt it everyday...People say its because I avoided the feeling or didnt noticed it which makes me scared. I have to go back in 2 weeks to see if the sand is gone but till then idk how to stop worrying and noticing this pain. Worrying makes it 10x more painful.
17f So I don't have an official diagnosis, but I know I have it, I struggle with it since I was 4, I went through like almost every theme like contamination, symmetry, checking, existential, health anxiety, false memory, moral ocd, sexual ocds, and also a therapist told me I have it (another one said I have generalized anxiety disorder but idk like I was talking about textbook ocd to her) I don't have a therapist now therapy is not working out well for me but I was hoping to maybe get medication For me the absolute hell is POCD and real event ocd. I genuinely don't know how do I start. I also think I will replace POCD with harm ocd cause well I'm to scared to talk about POCD. But what do I even say like do I come in and talk about more obvious ocd stuff I experience and then randomly jump to POCD, seems like a crazy jump idk... Also I thought it will be in the evening and I will have time to prepare but it's in and hour and a half I'm terrified Anyone? Help? How do I start what do I say I'm so scared
I’m trying to get in with therapy right now, but I’m most concerned on having issues with not eating. Intrusive thoughts and anxiety make me nauseous and distracted from eating. It took me an hour last night to eat instant ramen. Does anyone know what I could do about this? I’m only eating around 1 meal a day and I’m afraid of how this could affect me medically.
I'm going to try and be coherent because I know that sometimes during these moments I tend to babble in fear. I have a mole on the left side of my chest that I've had since I was a kid. Been there for as long as I remember. And I never paid attention to it; it was just a part of my body. I even felt a little sad considering that I might not have it anymore whenever I get top surgery. Yesterday I went down a rabbit hole and landed on Melanoma. Which, of course, prompted me to look at my mole again. And again. And again. It's large, bigger than my other moles. Always has been, at least to my knowledge. I always thought it was cute whenever it crossed my mind. Now...now I'm just scared... I'm not asking for reassurance. None of us on here are medical experts (unless youre an actual doctor) (also insert OCD joke here). I sent a picture to my doctor, and she said that if it hasnt changed size that's a good sign. But she also suggested a follow-up with a dermatologist. And that's what scares me the most. All of this started yesterday, but I sent the message to my doctor this morning. And ever since then...I havent been okay. I can barely eat, and every time I try to I can barely swallow. I've isolated myself in the guest bedroom of my parents house. I cant move. I cant think straight. And...let's just say my thoughts havent been good. Like I said, I'm not asking for reassurance or medical advice. I just...I need help to not feel like I'm dying. I didnt mention that yesterday, in the midst of going down the rabbit hole, I realized how badly I didnt want to be afraid, and yet I also felt like I needed to be afraid. And I realized that that's what ERP is (at least for me in case it's different for everyone). I really did naivietely think that it was just going to be about avoiding compulsions. I didnt realize that accepting uncertainty would feel like a death sentence. And now this has happened. I just...I'm scared. And I dont want to be. I dont want to live in this reality where I'm sick and dying. I dont want to have to tell my family. I dont want to live in that world, but it feels like I'm already in it. My body is just preparing me for it. I dont know. I dont know why I'm even making this post. No one can help me, can they?
So a couple weeks ago I was diagnosed with strep throat. I finished the anabiotic and then a week later days after I finished it. I got sick again and I went back to the doctor and I have strep throat again. I’m really worried about it. I really don’t wanna die my OCD gets even worse when I’m sick and I just wanna ask you guys if you’re Christians if you guys could please pray for me it would really mean a lot thank you so much
I will preface by saying I am not diagnosed OCD, as I can't afford to see therapists or psychiatrists at this time. But given the things I've gone through, I'm pretty much convinced it's what I'm dealing with. I never really saw it coming. As a kid I always had health issues. Sick all the time, spent a lot of my very young years in and out of hospitals. In recent years as I've become an adult, health anxiety started creeping in. I spent my teenage years depressed, anxious and suicidal, both passively and actively. I engaged in self destructive behaviors in an attempt to end my life quicker. I left a toxic home environment and began my journey to improve my life, as I have a significant other that I want to stay on this planet for. I began lifting weights and exercising, eating better, and attempting to improve myself day by day. I didn't even realize it happening, but over time I started caring more and more about my health. Avoiding certain foods, making my diet stricter, and ensuring I did the right things. While it was good for my body in the short term, long term it seems it really affected my mental. As I started to feel better, I noticed that the times where I wasn't feeling 100% were very stressful. I'd start to worry about developing diseases. Diabetes, appendicitis, cancer, any number of rare and deadly diseases i could discover on Google. It got worse and worse as time went on. I'd spend money on things to test my body. glucose monitor, thermometer, supplements to ensure I was healthy. mental compulsions began (which i didn't know where compulsions at the time). Well, it all culminated at its peak in the last few months. Every minor bodily symptom, no matter how normal or common or frequent, became a life threatening warning. Constant googling, ruminating, checking and reassurance seeking, which at the time I didn't know was what I was doing. Then, at the end of May, I did get sick. And suddenly all of my obsessions and compulsions solidified themselves as real and premonitions that were true. I started spiraling. Avoiding social events, or anything that was outside of my room. Barely managing to go to work some days. Bringing my compulsions to work as well, sneaking them in when I could. Every day was anxiety riddled. I became exhausted. Sleeping for 10 hours, waking up still tired, coming home having no energy to do anything. It convinced me even more that I was getting sick again. I was getting suicidal again and contemplating it very often. I then noticed my Instagram feed getting filled more and more with OCD related posts and ads, I guess i was unconsciously finding and engaging with them. They described exactly what I was going through, and still am going through. I'm on day 4 of my recovery after learning some ways to help myself. I'm catching my thought patterns, learning to allow the uncertainty, and avoiding my avoidant tendencies. I removed the batteries from my compulsions and put them out of sight. I still am learning my mental compulsions and how to deal with them. I'm engaging with the things I would avoid now despite how I feel. I'm still riddled with anxiety and the OCD thoughts are very loud and frequent. But I'm feeling more in control and like I can handle the thoughts better. I'd love any advice people can give as well. I want my life back.
Having a little bit of a rough morning. My boyfriend and I are finally ending long distance next month and moving in together! I’m so excited, but the big change means some ROCD and SOOCD flaring up. I also got triggered by a tik tok of a bisexual woman this morning. I’ve been ruminating about: - ending long distance and being in a more consistent routine will make me realize I don’t actually love him and that we’re not compatible - I will not like spending so much time with a man but I enjoyed a long vacation with a girl friend one time (my best friend and I took a 7 week trip to Europe after we graduated college early and I had so much fun and we hardly fought / disagreed) - if i have been suppressing my attraction to women, even though I really don’t think I have feelings for women. I admire their beauty and always have, but I truly think that’s as far as it goes - substance use ocd also came up this morning? Worrying that I will become an alcoholic / that I secretly want to drugs and drink all the time I’m also getting my period in a few days and have flair ups around this time and my ovulation time. Just looking for support 🫶🏼
Does anyone else find it odd that we are told we are “covered” and then six months later get bills for $800 + because we weren’t actually covered fully? If I had any idea earlier, I would have stopped. Nope, I’m told I’m covered and appointments are forced on me weekly, only to find out that the amount I’m required to pay with insurance is more than I paid out of pocket? Please confirm with your insurance carrier to avoid this horrible discovery in the middle of an economic crisis.
Hi guys! I had really bad harm ocd about 2 years ago and I went through therapy and eventually got really good at handling it when it would pop up. The other day, I was scrolling on TikTok and came across a girl talking about a guy who was presenting a lot of schizophrenic symptoms but no one paid attention and got him help, he was having a lot of delusions, hallucinating, thinking everyone was out to get him, thought he was Jesus and his dad was the president and ended up doing horrific things. The day after that, I was dealing with some work drama and had the thought of “what if all my coworkers are against me and trying to get me fired”. That really stressed me out, cause I don’t normally think about them like that and I went down a rabbit hole of thinking that was the beginning of me developing schizophrenia, ended up googling stuff all night, taking tests, crying and seeking reassurance. I had a thought the other day “your dad is the president”, this one didn’t stress me out as bad as I knew it was just the video I had seen and it was an intrusive thought about it, and I also didn’t believe it. Today I was with some friends and I got a prize at a place we went and it said “lonely” on it. I do have my moments of feeling lonely and this week has been specifically trying so I had a thought like “oh someone’s out to get me cause I got this”. I know this isn’t logical and it wouldn’t make sense to just randomly get it if someone was truly after me and it was just a stupid prize at a random place, anyone could’ve gotten it. Im just struggling a lot with schizophrenic OCD and thinking I’m in the pre stages of it. In my good moments, I don’t think I am at all and it was all just sparked from the video I watched but in my bad moments, these thoughts feel real!! They really stress me out and make me feel like I’m going to lose my mind causing me to lose my job/ end up in a psych hospital/ never live a normal life/ end up alone, never see me my loved ones/ hurt my loved ones. I just want to feel normal and not like I’m about to lose my mind and everything I care about. Please help!!! Anyone else going through something similar and can help me get through this!
For the past three years I've smoked marijuana nearly everyday. It helped with my anxiety and quieting my brain and helped me sleep. Recently, it began to make me feel more anxious, i would wake up nauseous and even threw up a couple of times which really triggered some health anxiety. I decided to quit because of this and i'm almost 2 weeks out from the last time I smoked. My body is slowly recovering but my brain just doesn't seem to quit it. I went to my GP a couple of weeks ago for a routine checkup and everything came back normal in my blood work and exam, yet that hasn't stopped me from completely obsessing over my health and feeling like (in my mind, not my body) i'm seriously ill- which is giving me extreme anxiety. Because of my reoccurring stomach issues my GP referred me to a GI who I had an appointment with yesterday. He was very unimpressed by everything I said and seemed like everything is pointing to IBS-which is not serious and something my mother also deals with. He ordered some extra tests to make sure I wasn't dealing with inflammation and he said he was very confident that my internal vital organs were a completely fine. I'm still waiting on those test results and his confidence should I have made me feel better but i'm still freaking out. Everybody in my life is tired of hearing about it and I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like i'm pushing people away. I feel good and like myself when I'm distracted and doing something fun, but mornings and nights and when i'm doing something mundane it's the worst. I feel like I can feel all of these pains and sensations but I have no idea if it's real. I've even started asking Chatgpt for constant reassurance and constantly googling my symptoms. I'm in a horrible loop. I should mention that on top of quitting weed, I also just graduated college, moved back home and my boyfriend and I started the longest period of long distance we've ever had to do so i'm just not feeling like myself at all. My psychiatrist just put me on Zoloft (my vomiting and intense anxiety coincided with when i began taking Prozac again so she wanted me to try something else) I'm only on day 3 of the meds but nausea and insomnia are the two side effects im dealing with right now which is just making my anxiety so much worse before the meds have even kicked in. Does anyone have advice on how to break this cycle of constant checking-i feel like taking a deep breath has even turned into a compulsion.
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