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I just got broken up with because I am depressed and it was over text. My anxiety and ocd have been awful and he said that can only be an excuse for so long so now I’m going insane. I am so sick.

Does God even care about my little prayers. They feel rushed and idk how to just sit with him I feel awkward. Like I can’t spend like an hour in prayer then just pray they scroll cuz idk what to do. And I ask God so many questions too and feel like I never hear cuz I’m not listening or being obedient cuz he will always knock at our hearts but what if my heart is hardened

Can anyone relate with having mental OCD? For me it's not so physical, but just ruminating and fixating on certain upcoming events over and over. Also researching, reaching out to providers, etc. I also want things done immediately and have NO patience. Guess immediate gratification. Just didn't know if anyone could relate because my OCD doesn't feel as much physical.

I am a true Christian and I am struggling with my faith,I fear that I have blasphemed God,I keep having thoughts that are completely opposite of what I believe and they are torturing me and also doubts,If anyone here is a true Christian struggling will you please tell me how you were able to get through exposure response prevention without the fear and confusion getting to you.,It literally feels impossible to get out of my head or even fully trust God.

I imagine every surface has a "direction," and if someone touches it differently, I feel like I'm going crazy. Sometimes I can't put on my clothes because it messes up my skin, and other times I struggle to breathe because the air is blowing in the opposite direction to my nose. I can't let my friends or my boyfriend touch me. But I don't have any particular intrusive thoughts or anything like that, so I'm not sure.

I have struggled with ocd my entire life until I realized what it was and why I was the way I was. My psychiatrist is trying one more medicine because we have “exhausted” all other options which is making me lose hope. I’ve been on many medicines since 8th grade and now I just feel hopeless, she said after if this medicine doesn’t work I should do TMS therapy which freaks me out. The medicine she is prescribing me is Anafranil? Guys I’m so just lost right now

Mackenzie Nordone used to have doubts about whether OCD treatment would really work for her. The idea of getting to a point where her life wasn’t completely controlled by intrusive thoughts and compulsions felt like some far-off, impossible dream—until she gave specialized therapy a chance, and all of her doubts were proven wrong. Now a Support Group Facilitator at NOCD, Mackenzie recently hosted a live AMA (Ask Me Anything) where she answered questions from the NOCD Community about living with OCD and going through treatment. She spoke openly about how to cope with taboo intrusive thoughts, rebuilding self-trust when OCD makes you doubt yourself, finding hope when it feels impossible, and more. Catch up on everything she shared in the full recap below. 👇

I will very soon have an appointment with a psychiatrist! Recently though, my sister mentioned to me that when she took medication for her OCD, she took prozac and did not like it as she felt very tired and sleepy for an entire year, and also gained weight. She decided to stop taking prozac as the only thing it helped with for her was having no thoughts, but overall she hated the tiredness she felt for the entire year. My question is, do any of yall know if the medication side effects can be the same for me as well because of genetics? Would family history be something a psychiatrist asks you about? This is my first time ever taking medication for mental health, so I may sound dumb lol. And if you have any other comments, feel free to share as I am quite nervous about starting medication.

I literally wasted more than half of the day procrastinating on my work/ classes/ assignments. And for the past 3 days I have been procrastinating the entire way. I played video games, I hung out with friends, and the time that I was supposed to work. I didn’t. Could it be because I don’t know or I fear the work. I know it’s the discomfort of knowing, and simple discomfort of doing things in general. There is so much activation energy needed, to do things for me. It’s a perfectionism thing, but I don’t know what the hell it is. Like I don’t know why I am so undisciplined. Like I don’t get It. There are few conclusions as to why these past three days have been like this Fear of unknown Fear of FOMO Fear of not finishing things Fear of not doing it “right” or “correctly” not being able to do it messy and unfinished or not knowing if I made progress Fear and discomfort of the task or the thing not making any meaningful progress in my life. Part of it is that I don't know what to do anymore. It's confusion and when clarity comes to me, clarity is the biggest anxiety reliever ever. I know action is the only way to gain more clarity but when I take any action I doubt whether that action is correct. This really hurts me, not just before, but during and after. Before, I want to avoid all the discomfort of doing things wrong or working on the wrong things in the wrong way. I want to do everything that is very meaningful and I don't want to be bad at it. I think a huge part of it is also time investment because I know I'm bad. For the first time I try something, whatever that might be, if it's trying to learn something, you're supposed to not know and figure it out out. I know that figuring it out, knowing that if I were to do it in the right way, in order to really have a good handle, as in figuring it out takes time. Okay. Figuring out takes time and I am scared that when I start something, it is going to take longer than I wanted because I want to do a lot of things. If I spend a lot of my time on one thing for an extended period of time, I am scared that I am not going to be able to stick to that one thing for a long amount of time. There is this fear of not being able to be productive while doing the task, which is really weird. A big part of it is first having the entire thing set up; that's the first thing, the environment, right? If the environment isn't correct, okay if the environment isn't correct, I mean that it's not good enough. For example when I say "environment isn't correct," I mean it's like it's not good enough, like my ability. I fear this is literally a little weird. For example I wake up in the morning and I know I have to do stuff now. One big thing is activation energy. One thing is the fear of uncertainty and the unknown (FOMO), and the scary factor is that now I have to plan. I have to plan for the day ahead, knowing that it will bring me a lot of distress and anxiety. To plan things out and to prioritize is the biggest first thing because I am constantly scared of prioritizing the wrong things. There are so many things I want to do: • Learn AI • Work on my business • Work on another skill at the same time • Work on my classes and get good grades • Apply to internships and jobs and stuff like that and network I want to do all of it because if I don't do all of it, I am officially behind. I feel behind and I know I am behind. Me, before even waking up, for example, and knowing that, all this comes at me at once in my head. This is what I'm going to have to go through, and it's this overwhelming pressure to do anything right to start. I also know that if I were to break all of the things that I wanted to do down into tiny tiny steps, I literally have anxiety doing that as well. I know that breaking down things itself takes up so much of my energy and so much because of the staying with that anxiousness and having to sort of fight it and then having to figure out how to break things down for all the tasks that I need to do. On top of that I know I need to sort of, like, not only that. Now I know that when I first, let's say, break things down, right, even though I will break down the task, the task will still be difficult. Breaking down that task into smaller chunks, yes, it does help but it doesn't help enough because I know I'm going to be bad and I know it's going to take a lot of time. There is also the scare and the fear that I'm not prioritizing the right thing, I'm not doing the right thing, or I'm doing too slow. That's the big thing too, or that my pace of progress is too slow. The world is moving extremely fast and I can't keep up. I have to learn everything and anything, and I have to just, like, learn the latest AI news to be on top of it. I have to learn the latest tech skill, and now there's the other layer: how do I do that? How do I do it in a way that is actually with good progress? I am in a program called I Can Study, and there is an aspect of learning skills and all these things. I have to work on those techniques and everything, and I know how long it takes to work on those techniques. I can't, and I know I need to create a system where I am using the techniques together once everything is habit. Because of that it really really hurts because it's like I don't know what to do. I just don't know how to move along without having all these layers of pressure over me. It's like what I know that I have, in terms of ERP, is that I'm supposed to stick with it and just go with it and stick with it, as in be with the feeling and see my anxiety where it needs me and all that stuff. The thing is I know how difficult it is and how hard it is to do that, because while I'm doing it I feel like I'm wasting time. I am not doing things correctly. I'm not doing enough, and this really really hurts me and my progress. Another part is that you are telling me to do this, to progress and stuff, but the idea of progression itself makes me anxious because optimizing. A lot of times, if I don't make progress, I feel like there is no purpose behind what I do, and it's inefficient and a waste of time because I don't know how to make progress. When do I know that, after doing it for 2 minutes, I should do it for 5 minutes now for this week? I overanalyze these types of things.

Hey does anyone play basketball. Also how do you manage to playing when having Severe Anxiety and OCD? I just played this past weekend and I haven’t played in a while and I played like 5 games but it was truly hard cause I was still in my head and after each game I have to walk and catch my breath do to panic and breathing heavy. A couple months ago I was able to play normal. I even joined a league that starts in June and I have to start running but I’m scared. I did it to not let my OCD take over but how am I suppose to push forward when I’m scared ?

Am I naïve to want to feel back to normal before this episode started two months ago and thinking that it might?

Last month, I celebrated 4 years of ERP therapy/being in recovery for OCD. Who I was 4 years ago is wildly different than who I am now, in all the best ways. In the course of those 4 years, I: -got the courage to leave an abusive relationship -got the courage to make a career change, and leave a job I hated but was comfortable at because it was familiar -worked through emotional contamination around my grandma, before she passed away -got over my driving fears, I drive all over the place now, in rain or good weather -learned to accept the sexual intrusive thoughts around a family member And many other things. Things aren’t perfect, I have rough days and great days, I’ve backslid and worked my way forward again. But recovery got me my life back. I’m happy to answer any questions or hear your stories of recovery.

I am feeling really scared lately, as my ocd has twisted triggers a bit for me. I keep having intrusive thoughts while feeling happy or I feel happy afterward, which TERRIFIES me. I have had SO-OCD/HOCD for about 2 and half months now. I just really want to know if anyone else has experienced intrusive thoughts in this way. I also can get really anxious at some specific people in general (namely people I find attractive (not in a weird way) or gay people/lesbians). Is this normal for people with SO-OCD/HOCD? I haven't had ocd for very long and only recently started ocd based therapy, so I dont know much yet.

So I have staring ocd and it started a couple of years ago it’s so intense I always worry someone is going to think I’m a pervert and that anxiety never stops. I always worry I’ll be fired about it. I think by now they understand it’s a medical issue I have addressed it but it doesn’t stop the anxiety. It makes it worse. Any tips ? How do I break up the compulsion? And the mental ones as well? It’s like a never ending cycle of anxiety. And as you guessed it staring is one of my biggest pet peeves.

So I have been treated poorly in relationships for a long time. My first one was 2 years of emotional, mental, financial, and sexual abuse back in high school, my second was amazing with tons of physical attraction but he was later emotionally unavailable so we broke up, and I was also groomed in a friendship and I have an emotionally abusive stepmother all in the span of about 4 years. So I have not been in a great spot with relationships and have told myself that I would not get into a new one unless I was sure about everything to a degree. I recently started going out with this new guy this week. Absolute precious sweetheart and he hasn’t done anything wrong at all. We love all the exact same things, love being goofy and weird, and I had an amazing time with him in the first date (yesterday) and had nothing bad to say whatsoever and had no fears or anything. And I was pretty attracted to him physically too and many times I wanted to cuddle with him or hold his hand but we haven’t done any of that yet because we are still in the stage of getting to know each other. Then the second date tonight was different. I started to notice certain super small things he did (like if he made a cringe joke or something) and it gave me a slight “ick” and it was so overwhelming and I couldn’t enjoy it nearly as much as the other night. I started to wonder if I was really attracted to him or if I was just pretending to like him. I also was thinking of the second guy I dated where I was always super physically attracted to him but we just weren’t emotionally compatible. I compare this new guy to my previous boyfriend physically and I just get so in distress in the differences. And I felt bad and sobbed to my roommates tonight in fear because he is so sweet and kind and there are times where I AM attracted to him but I can’t stop fixating on the way he looks when he laughs or some of the random jokes he says and my brain is telling me those are dealbreakers and that I’m jus leading him on 😭 PLEASE HELP!!

Hello! Today my psychiatrist recommended I start lamotrigine alongside Zoloft and I’m really looking for some advice. For a bit of background, I’ve been on Zoloft for almost three months now. Most of that time I’ve been on a starting dose of 25mg daily, but that has now been upped to 50mg daily. I haven’t really felt that much different, and the little difference I do experience are from the strategies I have learned from my weekly therapy sessions. But my obsessions are still rampant and I still fall victim to my thoughts and compulsions pretty much daily. I really don’t feel like the Zoloft has had too much of an effect, but I’ve only been on 50mg for a short amount of time so I just thought that was the reason I wasn’t feeling that much of a change yet. Today I had my second session with my psychiatrist and told him I haven’t felt much different. He immediately recommended a mood stabilizer alongside the Zoloft, but I’m feeling very hesitant. I feel like it’s too soon to tell if the 50mg is or isn’t working, so adding a mood stabilizer seems like a big jump. Has anybody tried a mood stabilizer alongside an ssri, specifically lamotrigine with Zoloft? How was your experience? Did it reduce ocd symptoms? I’m really feeling a little lost right now. Any advice is greatly appreciated!

can someone inform me of what mental compulsions can be or feel like? i feel like i do many compulsions but im not sure if they actually are compulsions or not ☹️

I’m curious if anyone else has experienced this, and if they have any advice. For about five years now I’ve been struggling with feeling uncomfortable when my stomach is full or has any water in it because I fixate on the difference in feeling. Because of this, I often feel nauseous when I have food in my stomach and I end up preferring to not eat until the end of the day so I don’t have to go about my day and interact with people feeling nauseous. Unfortunately this also makes me throw up often because I have health OCD and I get nervous that the nausea is because there’s something wrong with my body. I understand that this presents a lot like an eating disorder but I can tell that it’s related to my OCD and I’m not sure how I can break focus from this cycle. I’m also always dehydrated because I don’t like to drink water since I don’t like the way it feels in my stomach. I feel like I can trust that I won’t feel this feeling when I just continue this, but it can’t keep being this way. I hate always feeling uncomfortable in my body and I want to be able to go out to eat without being constantly distracted by the way it feels—and if I’m gonna throw it up because I feel nauseous and like something’s wrong with me. I’d like to know if anyone else feels uncomfortable with the way it feels when there’s food or water in their stomach. Does anyone have any tips of how to distract themselves from such a feeling or break the pattern?

A lot of my really bad episodes of OCD , as I call them, are false memories of harming someone . It's as if my memory of what i knew really happened starts getting replaced by all of these "what ifs " no matter how crazy they are . What usually precedes them are my fear of another episode happening again almost like a self fulfilling prophecy. I feel so helpless to it .

This article is written by Simon Schnell with fact checking added by AI to ensure accuracy against research and philosophy. It’s using my Buddhist views which you don’t have to follow but using the view as a lens might show you soemthing new. Enjoy When the Mind Lies OCD Through Emptiness, Impermanence, and the Courage to Not Respond Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder can feel like being trapped inside a mind that no longer trusts itself. A thought appears — intrusive, unwanted, often disturbing. What if I did something terrible? What if I lose control? What if this thought means something about who I really am? The anxiety hits fast. Not mild discomfort — but a surge. Urgent. Moral. Personal. And then comes the pull to act: * Check * Replay * Analyse * Seek reassurance * Avoid Not because you want to — but because not doing it feels dangerous. This is the hidden structure of OCD: It doesn’t just produce thoughts. It convinces you those thoughts require a response. But what if that assumption is wrong? What if the thoughts are not the danger — and the compulsion is not the solution? This is where two powerful frameworks converge with surprising precision: * The Buddhist insights of emptiness and impermanence * The clinical method of Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) One philosophical. One scientific. But both pointing to the same place: You do not need to control your thoughts to be safe. ⸻ The First Insight: Thoughts Are Empty In Buddhist psychology, emptiness does not mean nothing exists. It means things do not carry fixed, inherent meaning. A thought can feel like: * A warning * A confession * A signal of danger * A reflection of who you are But when examined closely, it is something far simpler: A mental event. Arising from: * Memory fragments * Emotional states * Conditioning * Random neural activity You didn’t choose it. And yet OCD performs a subtle distortion: It takes a neutral event… and treats it as evidence. This is often called thought–action fusion: * “If I thought it, it must mean something.” * “If I imagined it, it’s as bad as doing it.” But from the lens of emptiness: A thought has no built-in meaning unless it is interpreted. ERP doesn’t try to argue with the thought. It does something far more powerful: It removes the response that gives the thought weight. ⸻ The Second Insight: Thoughts Are Impermanent Everything in the mind changes. Thoughts. Emotions. Urges. Even the most intense anxiety cannot sustain its peak indefinitely. But OCD interrupts this process. Instead of allowing thoughts to pass, it engages: * Analysing * Checking * Reassuring * Mentally reviewing These are not neutral actions. They are forms of resistance. And paradoxically: They are what keep the thought alive. Like trying to flatten a wave by pushing on it — you create more disturbance. Impermanence reveals a different truth: Thoughts don’t need to be solved to pass. They need to be left alone. ERP is the structured practice of discovering this firsthand. ⸻ What ERP Actually Does (And Why It Works) Exposure and Response Prevention works in two steps: Exposure: You allow the feared thought, image, or situation to be present. Response Prevention: You refrain from performing compulsions — both physical and mental. This creates a powerful learning process. At first: * Anxiety rises * Urges intensify * The mind screams for resolution But if you don’t respond… Something unexpected happens: The anxiety peaks. And then it begins to fall. Not because you solved anything. But because that is the nature of the nervous system. Research consistently shows ERP leads to significant improvement for many people with OCD, often reducing symptoms substantially when practiced consistently. It is considered the gold-standard psychological treatment — not because it eliminates thoughts, but because it changes your relationship to them. Just as importantly, it is honest: It does not promise certainty. It does not remove all discomfort. It teaches you how to live without needing either. ⸻ A Real Moment (Vignette) You’re sitting on the couch. Someone you love is nearby. A thought appears: What if I hurt them? Instant panic. Your mind reacts: * Why would I think that? * What does this say about me? * I need to be sure I’d never do that. You feel the urge to: * Replay past interactions * Check your feelings * Seek reassurance * Create distance This is the familiar path. Now, something different. You pause. You notice: “There’s a thought.” Your chest tightens. Anxiety rises. You don’t push it away. You don’t analyse it. You also don’t act on it. The urge builds. Your mind says: This is dangerous. Do something. But you stay. Seconds feel long. Then something shifts — subtly. The intensity wavers. The thought is still there, but it’s different now. Less sharp. Less convincing. Not gone. But not in control. This is ERP in action. This is impermanence, seen directly. ⸻ The Engine of OCD: Meaning + Resistance OCD runs on two forces: Meaning-making “This thought is important.” Resistance “I need to do something about it.” Together, they create the loop: Thought → Meaning → Anxiety → Compulsion → Relief → Reinforcement ERP breaks the loop at its weakest point: The compulsion. And from a Buddhist perspective, this is the release of: * Grasping (needing certainty) * Aversion (rejecting discomfort) Without those, the system begins to unwind. ⸻ The Hardest Shift: Allowing Uncertainty OCD demands certainty. Am I safe? Would I act on this? Can I be 100% sure? ERP refuses to answer. Not because the answers don’t matter. But because the search is what keeps the cycle alive. From a Buddhist lens: Certainty is not something the mind can secure permanently. Trying to achieve it is like trying to freeze water in motion. The shift is this: Can you allow the question to exist… without answering it? Not comfortably. But willingly. ⸻ Guided Practice (In-the-Moment Script) When you’re triggered, use this: There’s a thought. I don’t need to figure this out right now. I’m allowed to feel this discomfort. I’m not going to respond with a compulsion. This will rise… and it will pass. I’ll stay here while it does. Read it slowly. Not to calm yourself immediately — but to anchor your response. ⸻ The Deeper Fear: “What If I’m the Exception?” At some point, OCD tightens its grip: What if this time is different? What if I actually need to act? This is not a new problem. It’s the same mechanism, wearing a more convincing disguise. ERP doesn’t eliminate this fear. It changes how you respond to it. Because the truth is: Compulsions don’t prevent danger. They prevent learning. They stop you from discovering that: * Thoughts are not actions * Anxiety is survivable * Uncertainty is livable ⸻ You Are Not Your Thoughts If thoughts are empty and impermanent, they cannot define you. They are not stable enough. Not reliable enough. Not truly “yours” in the way OCD suggests. They arise. They pass. They do not own you. OCD says: “This thought is me.” Clarity says: “This is something happening in the mind.” That distinction is freedom. ⸻ What Recovery Actually Looks Like Recovery is not: * A silent mind * Permanent calm * Complete certainty It is something more grounded: * Thoughts can arise without control * Anxiety can exist without urgency * Uncertainty can remain without collapse From both ERP and Buddhist insight: Recovery is freedom of response. The ability to not engage. Even when it’s hard. ⸻ Final Reflection: Leaving the Courtroom OCD turns your mind into a courtroom. Every thought is examined. Every possibility debated. Every doubt prosecuted. But the trial never ends. Because the mistake was never the thought. It was believing the thought required a response. Emptiness shows you: The thought is not what it claims to be. Impermanence shows you: The thought cannot hold itself together. ERP shows you: You don’t have to respond. And together, they offer something simple and profound: You are allowed to leave the courtroom