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Hi guys. Just a question. If you do something subconsciously does it mean it comes from your true self? Because I did something and I’m now realizing I had a bad motive. I’m so anxious right now Im spiraling.

I’m really trying to be better at not washing my hands every second and I proud of myself the days I didn’t give in to compulsions, but today I feel a little defeated. I was getting ready for work and I was trying to cover up a pimple on my face, but I had sunscreen on. I wanted to put a pimple patch so I tunrned around got the paper towel in my bathroom and the towel touched the shower wall. I had a wart 6 months ago and although I didn’t have it on my hand… I did have it on the palm of my foot. I’m almost sure I sprayed Lysol on the wall but I forget because I’m ruminating constantly and my mind likes to play tricks on me. I was also in a rush today for work so that’s triggered the thoughts more. I put more sunscreen on my face to camouflage the pimple patch/ pimple. I’m scared that I contaminated my face . I even looked it up on gpt (which is another compulsion.) it was basically saying the percentage was extremely low. It’s like the answers right there but my mind won’t believe it. And I know you shouldn’t trust everything on google. Too lazy to edit, but a small part I left out was that after touching that part of the towel where I thought is contaminated …. I rolled that part on the floor and broke it off. But then continued to still roll it because the part I touched , had touched the other pieces too. I don’t know if that makes sense. So when I finally had that “just right feeling.” I put the paper towel down , washed my hands again but my hands weren’t as soapy bc it still had the tinted sunscreen on them. Washed my hands more and just got fed up and dried my hands off with the paper towel I still feel is contaminated. Ugh😞. I’ll be honest too after having the wart on my foot, I cleaned the shower in itty bitty sections. I think cleaning the whole thing at once had me overwhelmed and especially the early stages after my wart was gone I didn’t want to clean bc I was nervous I would catch another one. I had used so much Clorox to wipe down where my foot had touched the ground on the shower floor. I don’t think I wiped down the outer perimeter but I’ve recently just sprayed Lysol on the floor . I could be better at cleaning my shower more but it is what it is right now.

I’ve been gone for about a month, mostly because I kept seeing messages on here that felt super anxiety-inducing and not understanding of OCD at all. Honestly, it got to the point where I started getting nervous to even open the app. Lately, I’ve been stuck in this OCD loop that I think might be moral scrupulosity or something like that. I’ve been dealing with this thing where I feel like I have to “challenge” stuff mentally or verbally, like if I don’t say something out loud, it feels super uncomfortable. And the thoughts are about heavy stuff, like assault or deportation or just really morally loaded topics. My brain starts picking everything apart. It’s like I have to look at things fairly, and then I get trapped in all these little technicalities. For example, if someone gets assaulted, my brain fixates on stuff like “what was she wearing”even though I know how harmful that line of thinking is. That is exactly the kind of thing my mind zooms in on. It happens with a bunch of topics too, not just that. I feel like I have to give the benefit of the doubt to the aggressor or see “both sides,” and then I end up doubting the victim. And the worst part is, it feels like I truly believe these devil’s advocate thoughts. It feels so real. It’s like I become convinced that the victim might be lying or that there’s some justification for the harm, and I don’t like it. This even happens with my boyfriend and especially his family. I’ll catch my brain flipping narratives or making me question people I trust. this has been a “habit”for as long as I can remember but now it’s happening so much more. I cannot stop doubting. It feels like I’m siding with people who I should have no doubts to be against. I don’t know what to do or what kind of ERP would work for this. I don’t know how to change this. It’s been apart of me so long, it simply feels like me.

Can harm ocd give you thoughts like when you’re in front of a trigger “why don’t you do it” and sometimes I either freeze don’t know what to do with myself and then an urge to throw the item away. Is this something else? And sometimes I get thoughts like “what if I’m lying to myself” and “do you think you’re lying to yourself”

Is there someone here who can do my diagnosis free? I did self diagnosis and for a year firmly believed its OCD but now I get thoughts that it's not OCD bcz I did on my own. It says it's only bcz your religion prohibits the things you have thoughts about, that's why you repulse them so it's not OCD. I can't take therapy as well so I'm very disturbed

*PLEASE READ* *any help appreciated* So I work with kids and it’s a lightning rod for triggering my POCD. I work with a mental health org that supports kids with autism and other intellectual development disorders. And so I’ve grown really close with one kid since I started since I was his first ever staff and he was the first ever kid I worked with. I’ve grown really protective of him and we’ve become really close and our relationship truly means the world to me. But before I get into my little incident, I have to provide context: so I am hypersexual and struggle with compulsive masturbation and my urges are almost uncontrollable sometimes. I have a lot of trauma from foot fetish stuff/pornography as a kid and it’s carried on into my adult life unfortunately. And so as I was waking up my kid and trying to get him out of bed to get him into the shower (I usually give him a few extra minutes but if he’s uncooperative I have to pull him out of bed gently) and so I just shift him by his legs bc it’s easiest. And my urges and thoughts have been so bad lately and when he wasn’t cooperating, as I was shifting his legs today, his foot touched my private area and I carried on normally but now I feel like a monster and everything I fear. I need some advice bc I’m scared to even talk to my therapist about this bc I think I will go to jail. I don’t want to be like this and I hate POCD so much and I rlly care so much for this kid and would actually die for him to protect him. I just need someone to tell me I’m not crazy bc idk if that contact between us was intentional or not and I have not spiraled like this for so long. I truly am losing my mind and want to give up bc I know I am not the person my POCD tells me I am but now I feel like I am everything it calls me. I feel so ashamed and repulsed and disgusted in myself and wish I didn’t exist. I feel like I’ve exploited my kid and taken advantage of him and that I don’t deserve to have him in my life and that I don’t even deserve to life and would be better off in jail or dead. im so broken and I’m sorry if what im saying is confusing

no matter what situations you guys face, no matter how difficult, you will get through it!

I stated dating my boyfriend about 3 months ago. This is my first boyfriend ever. He’s been in 2 serious relationships in the past and multiple sexual partners. I’ve had neither. When we first started dating/ at one point were just friends, he told me a lot about the last girl he was in a relationship including their sex life. Fast forward to us dating for about a month and I found out he had been texting her. We almost broke up. But also for context she broke up with him because she figured out she was a lesbian. But still… anyways we moved past it. And now… I’m sure we can all see this coming… I have this theme! I think about his ex gf all the time. I stalk her on social media and try to find hints and clues about their relationship. I compare myself to her. It really impacts my relationship because I’ll get mad at him for no reason. For example we went thrifting recently and he picked out stuff that completely wasn’t my style, but was hers. Which made me spiral. Is he purposely dressing me like her? Does he want me to be someone else, someone like her? The whole texting her thing was put in the past. I’ve forgiven him. But I can’t help but have resentment towards him and think/ visualize all these thoughts about them together and how I’ll never measure up to that. It makes me think I shouldn’t have got into a relationship. That maybe I’m better off by myself. But like all of us. I wish I didn’t have these thoughts. I wish I could believe he liked me for me. But sometimes it’s really hard.

Hi Everyone - has anyone else had problems with executive functioning - forgetting things, multitasking, attention, not following directions closely, etc. ? If so, what do you do to help? I brought this up to my therapist and she mentioned that I wouldn’t need a therapist Or specialist/coach to work on it - as it would be skills we know to do (take notes, put on reminders, etc). However, I’ve been struggling with OCD for years and none of these “tips” have helped enough. I have had trouble multitasking/ remembering details/forgetting things with jobs and had to quit. It even applies when I am at home - one thing goes in one ear and out the other. I also do not have or been diagnosed with ADHD or any other disorders (just depression from OCD). Does anybody have suggestions? Is it just to manage my OCD better and these things will get better with that? I don’t recall how I was when my OCD was “good” or in better shape (Up until age 18) to gauge this as I didn’t have a job or other life responsibilities. Only thing I can think of is maybe I am so caught up in my head that is causing these issues, aka the severe OCD. Thanks!

If you’re sensetive to the topic of divorce, needles, or self harm don’t read this. I’m really sorry for how long this is going to be I promise it has a point. So this morning I woke up. It was around 11 when I woke up. I had to get in the shower for a dentist appointment I had to get a cavity filled, which is literally horrible. I can’t describe how much I fucking hate getting my teeth filled the pain of the needle is so bad and the dentist is awful for me because I always think about how many other mouths might’ve touch the equipment. I got a shower and just went with my hair wet and I noticed a huge bruise on my leg from my bf accidentally kneeling on me and I thought about how much it hurt and I worried that the bruise might become something else because I read up on how sometimes small bruises can lead to really horrible blood pooling and internal bleeding. I got in the car and me and my dad left to go to my dentist appointment. When I was sitting waiting I was sitting alone with no distractions so I thought a lot. I thought about how this is the second dentist appointment I’ve been to in a month that my hair was wet for and how my dentist probably thinks my hair is greasy and that im gross. When my dentist gave me the needle to freeze me my vision went a bit wonky and I remember worrying that he sent the freezing to my nervous system and how this was just gonna be how my vision gets stuck forever. They finished the filling and I worried that my invisiline treatment would stop working because of the slight change from the filling and how I’d waste thousands of my parents dollars from one filling. When I was coming from the dentist my mom texted that she was taking me somewhere to eat so I went home with my dad and waited for her to come get me. We went to eat and it was amazing. And for context me and my mom usually can’t get through a car ride without being at each others throats. She even bought me a slice of cheese cake to take home. We got home and I was talking to my parents about whatever. I went into my kitchen to snack on something and my dad told me to get out of the cupboards. He told me to come here and sit down. I thought he was gonna tell me that I need to diet. I asked worriedly what they wanted to talk about. My dad said “oh just life and stuff” I figured they were gonna tell me some type of advice. That they were gonna give me the talk (I’m a teenager in a teenage relationship so this makes sense) I remember the hot feeling of the anxiety in my body. Of what he might tell me. Up until this point my life was all those worries I talk about in my so far day. My life was wake up worry about crazy impossible shit, worry about everything, the worst thing in my life to this point was my self harm that I ended up falling into around 2 years ago (I’m clean for the most part now). Up until this point my parents were together for 18 years. But today my parents sat me down and told me they’re separating. Right when my life finally felt so right. When the only issue was my ocd. When that was my complaint. There’s no one to blame for it. It’s just how life ended up happening. I’m so utterly confused. I don’t even know what to think. For the first time in my entire life I have no idea what to think. It is impossible for my brain to muster up something, anything. I just can’t. And the last time I felt like I couldn’t think I cut myself. And I can’t do that. I just feel so freaking lost. My life is about to begin. I’m about to graduate high school this coming year. And my senior year. My last year. It about to be so hard in so many ways. I just can’t. And I feel so alone in this because their separation is gonna go so smoothly with no issues they have it all figured out and they still love eachother. So I can’t complain that it’s gonna be messy. My brothers still very young so he’ll deal with it differently. And any of my friends who have divorced parents their parents divorces were messy and horrible and they were all so young when it happened. But I’ll be a legal adult next year. So I feel like I’m not supposed to be upset about it because it happen to me later in life. I just really don’t know.

Hi! I have just recently been diagnosed with OCD and it’s come as kind of a shocker to me. My friends aren’t that surprised (most of them are psych majors lol) but my parents/family are very skeptical and have been telling me that it’s just anxiety. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and severe depression when I was 14. I’ve had hydroxyzine NPR since then and I’ve tried lexapro and propanalyl (both made me feel like i was going crazy) and then was misdiagnosed as having bipolar 1 (hypomania). I finally have found a therapist that specializes in OCD and we did the assessment and concluded that my anxiety/depression has stemmed from it. Most likely I have experienced my OCD symptoms since I was 11 (when my anxiety first appeared) and I am now 21. I mostly have obsessions, but I do have a few compulsions. Most of them relate to my personal space or social settings. I have a good amount of driving anxiety as well and I have a set route for every single place that I drive to regularly. I have a set morning routine that I am only comfortable with being disturbed when I have had ample time to prepare myself for a change. This new diagnosis and learning what it is and what the different types are has kind of uprooted my social life and drastically decreased my mental health. I guess I’m here to try to find some balance and some people who actually understand what it’s like to feel like there’s something wrong with your brain and no way to “fix” it. I’ve tried talking to my friends/bf/family and none of them truly understand or could even begin to imagine what it’s like inside my head. I’m just trying to find my bearings and feel the ground under my feet, but I don’t exactly know where to start.

What if I didn’t repent for something that I’ve been thinking abt but don’t know if it’s a sin like should I repent for it anyway I have this interaction that keeps spiraling through my mind and idk if I should text the person about it or just leave it

In my head I told God to do something terrible to me that doesn’t even make sense because I’m a girl. I’ve had this thought before but it felt definitely like I felt like I meant it and I didn’t feel guilty I’m scared I’m not a Christian

I've been told it's impossible to "push intrusive thoughts away", but also that rumination is a compulsion. What is rumination vs. overthinking? And how do I stop ruminating properly and healthfully?

I am a Christian but keep having unwanted really bad intrusive thoughts about Go liike I am talking strange weird thoughts that make me cry they are so uncomfortable. And then I have doubts from time to time if God is real and I look up evidence that God is real and am worried God's going to be upset that I tried to look up proof of his existence. even though I do believe that he is real. Any other Christians with severe OCD out there that go through this struggle? I just don't want God to hate me or be ashamed of me.

Soo i need to say this but i struggle with real event ocd but its not things i did but things i thought or things i felt for certain situations or to certain things i like im having trouble telling apart my feelings like i try to sort them like oh this is that feeling but i got the same feeling for two different situations one is good one is bad and i got the same feeling so im just scared why did i have that reaction i guess i just im sitting here analyzing what that feeling is and i genuinely dont know its not anything physical its more in my head and now im checking every moment in the past to see the thought process and what i felt in that moment and im just scared of what i feel

I am in an incredible relationship with the most patient and gentle person I have ever met. We have been together for 4 years and I realized I had OCD a year ago, got diagnosed a month ago. Its quite difficult going from a narcissistic/abusive household to experiencing the gentle and constant love that comes with a healthy relationship. Since he doesn’t have explosive (big) feelings my OCD insists that he doesn’t love me enough. Which is crazy. I have set a few rules for myself, biggest one being: No picking fights after 6:30 pm. (If im still upset in the morning, bring it up then) But I am new to this and appreciate any advice.

rocd kicking my butt rn over a fictional character lmaooo just kill me

TikTok makes me question if I’m a bad person every day Every time a story goes viral—like the Uber Eats woman lying about her delivery at the hillside hospital—I spiral. I know what she did was very wrong, but the way people drag it out and make wild assumptions (“she probably lies at work too!”) feels extreme. I’ve never lied about missing food, but I have gotten refunds for bad orders in hard times. Now I’m panicking that maybe I’m just as bad, even though I wasn’t trying to scam. My OCD latches onto stuff like this and won’t let go. I just wish people understood how damaging these mob reactions can be. And honestly, why don’t these apps do proper investigations before punishing drivers or customers? Not everything is black and white. Idk maybe it’s just me but things can be handled without trying to go viral on tik tok.

Today I woke up and immediately was flooded with intrusive thoughts. I was thinking about how I want to remembered when my time on earth is finished. I want to be remembered by my kindness and my heart. I want to be remembered by the lives i’ve changed. But then it hit me. What if you want to be a girl? What if you’re just telling yourself you don’t want to be a girl? I shouldn’t be scared, my family would love me no matter what I was. But this.. This is taking its toll on me. People call me maam all the time. I have feminine features and qualities.. It makes me question everything I know about my life. But I think what makes it worse is that i’m scared but don’t feel scared? Like I don’t feel intense fear like I once did. I know that I don’t want to be a girl. I don’t want boobs or long hair and nails. I have feminine qualities but I just exist. And this morning it’s hitting me very hard. I hate TOCD. I hate that I can’t just have one moment of peace. That it finds ways to seep into my life by finding areas i’m weakest in. I read other people’s stories and kinda do checking with it. And to make it all worse my for you page is FILLED with trans tiktok’s and peoples experiences. It’s making me mad. Why can’t I just be happy? Like everyone else in my house? Why did I inherit this stupid fucking disorder? And why do I question everything single thing about myself. First it was fear I was going to hurt someone and be a monster. And now it’s fucking thoughts of me wanting to be a girl?? Anyways have a nice day guys.