Does anyone have any tips and tricks for dealing R

I am in an incredible relationship with the most patient and gentle person I have ever met. We have been together for 4 years and I realized I had OCD a year ago, got diagnosed a month ago. Its quite difficult going from a narcissistic/abusive household to experiencing the gentle and constant love that comes with a healthy relationship. Since he doesn’t have explosive (big) feelings my OCD insists that he doesn’t love me enough. Which is crazy. I have set a few rules for myself, biggest one being: No picking fights after 6:30 pm. (If im still upset in the morning, bring it up then) But I am new to this and appreciate any advice.

Relationship OCD

Keepgoing101

Date posted: 4w

Hey friend, I’m sorry to hear that you’re dealing with intrusive thoughts. It’s great to hear that you recognize what thoughts are triggering you and the trauma that this stems from. As someone who’s been dealing with ROCD for almost a year now, I’d say that cultivating a sense of mindfulness is huge (e.g. recognizing when thoughts that are future/past oriented and not based in your current reality), managing your external stress levels, and maintaining a sense of gratitude (I know it seems ridiculous but it does help prevent you from ruminating on stuff like “does he love me enough”, “is this right”, etc) are methods that help me keep sane. Recognize that this condition is like a mental addiction, so anytime you feel those thoughts triggering you drop into your body and feel it, resist compulsions (rumination, seeking reassurance, talking to your partner about a perceived threat to your relationship), then shift your attention to something else (think of it like dropping a math problem you’re working on). I will say that it can be hard to differentiate a “real” problem with your relationship vs ROCD, but generally what helps me is that I spend a few days after something triggers me to determine if it’s an issue or not. Like you can tell yourself “okay if this issue is so important next Wednesday I’ll spend 15 minutes ruminating about it” and usually by Wednesday my prefrontal cortex has calmed down enough that it’s not a big deal anymore. Or if it is, then at least I’ve calmed down enough that I can talk through it without being super emotional. Hope this helps.

Masha✨

Date posted: 4w

@Keepgoing101 I realized that being tired makes my ocd run rampant so taking the night to watch tv, journal, sleep helps me discuss issues more clearly

JediMJ

Date posted: 4w

I’m glad you recognize that his lack of explosive feelings does not mean he doesn’t love you enough. I grew up in a household with a lot of yelling and that seemed normal. Our childhood “home” environment sets us up to look for similar feelings, even if it was toxic. You’re right—it’s difficult retraining our brains. I’m curious about this phrase…what do you mean by “picking fights”? Do you mean you have a concern you want to talk about? Do you know about making repairs in a relationship? It sounds like you get upset about something but decide to wait, to see if you feel the same way in the morning. Sometimes I get upset about stupid stuff and I realize it’s just me. But sometimes I need to have a conversation, to ask about something that was said…because maybe I misunderstood. Or they need to understand how their words hurt me. I feel like communication is key. And understanding your own triggers. My interpretation of things isn’t always right…instead of getting upset, I ask myself what’s going on. Sometimes it’s all in my head. Anyway, you’re not alone and I hope things get easier for you.

Masha✨

Date posted: 4w

@JediMJ Have an impulse to talk through every tiny thing and have a tendency of letting it snowball into fights. I realized that taking a pause is good for figuring out how i really feel.

Canes12345!

Date posted: 22w

My life with ocd

I’m a good man and I know that. My OCD revolves around relationships. While dating someone a truly enjoy, I find myself needing to compulse everything on my mind or else I feel like I’m being a liar or keeping secrets. I also am pretty confident I suffer from false memory ocd. I don’t like to put a label on things but I’m 99.9% sure I do. My compulsions a lot of times come from things I’m not even sure are real. The more thought I put into them, the more I start to believe they are real. One of the worst compulsions I had in my relationship was I had a thought “what if I find my ex more attractive” and “what if I thought the sex with them was better”. I ended up compulsing these things to my gf. After lots of time to think and get a ahold of myself I was able to remind myself that these things weren’t true and I was just in a downward spiral. There was a 2-3 month period where every time I was relieved of something then I would instantly think of something else. These compulsions have caused insecurity in my gf and I feel like a terrible person. Never meant to hurt her at all and was just trying to find a sense of relief. While I know it is not true, I can’t fix things with words and I feel terrible. I would love to hear from people with tricks and strategies that can help. I love my gf and want to fix things and understand this is not a relationship fixer app but I would like to know what are some ways you are able to deal with these kind of things.

bubbsle

Date posted: 21w

Tips for Anxiety

Hey guys! My boyfriend has said recently that he doesn't know if he's strong enough to continue with our relationship because of my OCD. He wants to see me overcome my symptoms and learn to live a healthy life with OCD, but my anxieties and obsessions are starting to really affect his life. I understand his reasoning, it's hard to see someone you care about struggle with OCD, especially when it starts to affect you too. I'm asking for tips to deal with my compulsions in the relationship. I HAVE to know the answer to things and sometimes that leads into arguments because even with apologies and discussions I can't let things go, even if they genuinely don't matter or are miniscule issues we have. It's a healthy relationship otherwise but I feel horrible because it's impacting him so negatively, that's the absolute last thing I want to happen. I care for him deeply and he cares for me too, so I don't want my OCD to be a reason we break up but I fear it's headed in that direction. I'm starting therapy soon, but until then what are some things I can do to stop my ROCD from impacting him? I know sitting in the guilt and anxiety of not completing my obsessions will help, but I'm wondering if there are other things I can do to maybe remedy some of the damage already done.

olt28

Date posted: 19w

Any tips? I’m really struggling

I have had diagnosed OCD for a while now and I’ve been really struggling with my rocd. My bf and I have been dating for almost 2 years now and it has been great mostly. (I say mostly because of I’m being honest the bad parts are me causing issues due to my rocd) lately I’ve been struggling to trust him in that he will follow through with his word. This was triggered because we had a wedding and a brunch to go to (he doesn’t know the person getting married but was going just to go with me) and he ended up not being able to go due to finals and group projects he had to end up doing work for. This is a completely understandable and reasonable excuse not to be able to attend something, but my brain is now making me feel like he would do that to anything I need him for. And he literally doesn’t. Like we’re going out of town to see family this summer and I’m scared he’ll flake out. We’ve already gotten plane tickets and everything but my brain is like what if . Again it’s so stupid because he comes through almost all the time I invite him to something and when he can’t go it’s usually due to something pretty reasonable that he didn’t foresee. Like he comes to all my family holiday events, goes and runs errands and does things when I ask, comes over everyday to spend time with me. The only times he can’t come to my house is when he has no gas money. We’re both in college and his parents don’t really support him at all so he has to use all his money he makes working during the summer towards expenses and doesn’t often get to buy things for himself and when we are in our hometown, I go to his house more because my parents pay for everything and I help him save his money because he if doesn’t have any he is truly out of luck. Soem days he won’t even eat because he had to use his money on rent of something. But he still manages to go above and behind for me. Always includes me in things he loves to do, picks flowers for me anytime he sees one and buys them when he does have money, he always writes me notes and does sweet things that he knows will make me laugh. He is such a blessing, but of course my brain only focuses on the negative :( he’s so patient with my ocd but I do get tired of bugging him with it.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Does anyone have any tips and tricks for dealing R

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community