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Is it possible to have been living your life well and enjoying your days but have been physically hurting people without knowing? Like you are always aware of your actions right? I have this terrible feeling that I hurt one of my students and went through an entire week either blacking it out or not realizing. But it’s something I feel like you should realize. A disturbing dream seems to have triggered this.

when i stay alone at home, the thought immediately comes to my head that I can touch myself, don't I imagine those thoughts?! I'm a bit scared of this "idea", especially since I've had these types of tests before... can anyone help if they've had a similar experience? what worries me is that it is my wish, i.e. that I can do it, and not ocd...

I haven't had anxiety for 1 week, I haven't had so many thoughts, but when it comes to sexuality I feel discomfort and I feel like something is pressing on my chest, it's very disturbing, and I still have attraction (false I hope), I wasn't diagnosed with hocd but I had all the symptoms, (now I don't have anxiety anymore, except when a feeling that I'm gay appears), I no longer felt that strong need to watch videos on yt or look for things that would make me feel comfortable, so somehow I managed to keep this under control, but I don't know if it's recovery or if I'm just lying to myself that I'm not gay. If anyone has any ideas, I hope they write something here

Does anyone else here daydream maladaptively? Well, I do a lot and my OCD has latched onto that as “proof” that my fear is real due to do contents of my daydreams. To preface I’m 14 and most of my daydreams consist of boys that I like so like 85% of my day is just me daydreaming about these boys in a fantasy world that I built in my head for them. The thing is I have ADHD and I’m super hyperactive and I require a lot of movement to engage in my daydreams (and with engaging in anything in general tbh) so I’m always just randomly walking/running around the house daydreaming. Anyway sometimes I’ll make the same faces my character makes in the daydream and also do like hand movements they do. And I’ve been ruminating about this for months because I’m like “does that count as imagining myself as a boy?” due to the fact that most of the characters in my daydreaming world are male and I panic. I would never imagine myself as a boy in that sense because it makes me uncomfortable, like ever since I got this theme, whenever I walk by a mirror I get these intrusive images of the boy I like starring back at me in the mirror and I get super uncomfortable. It’s like a punch in the gut. I don’t want to look like those boys at all and I know that if I was one of them I would hate my appearance and hate looking in the mirror, no matter how attractive they are. Or when I’m doing something my OCD will imagine ME doing it as a boy like in first person and with the intent of me being a boy and that also really triggers me because that’s not what I want and it makes me real uncomfortable. What I DO want is to daydream about boys, but not about being a boy. But isn’t that what I’ve been doing this whole time without realizing? Like I’m so wrapped in my daydreams that when I’m doing anything I go “Hm I wonder what [my crush] would do in this situation” and imagine him doing it but in a completely different setting and with some changes to the activity added. That really scares me because I go “what if that means I’m a boy” and I get really distressed because I don’t wanna be a boy. I don’t view any of the boys on my daydream as me at all and like, I don’t daydream with the intent to be a boy because that’s the least of my desires, all I do is want to think about boys because boys are cute ofc and I like them. But I’m still really scared. Is my OCD possibly twisting things or am I in denial? :(

Just bombarded with the guilt of past mistakes. Not knowing the outcome of things makes it worse. Seeing things/signs that are associated with the real event I obsess about everyday. I see it in tv, you tube, songs and everything. It's so scary how it's everywhere

contamination ocd has really been messing with me the last couple of days. usually i only struggle when i can connect something to possibly throwing up, but this time it doesn’t matter. so earlier, i took a shower and i also use a wash cloth to wash my body. after i showered i cleaned up my dirty clothes and towels. then when i came back to grab my phone, there was a soap speck on my phone so without thinking i just wiped it on the back of my crewneck i was wearing. well that then spiraled into me thinking what if the soap was from my dirty wash cloth. i know most of you are probably thinking it’s clean since you use soap to clean ur body. well i clean every inch of my body, including my bottom so that’s where my anxiety is gravitating towards. this sounds so ridiculous saying it out loud, but i just have so much anxiety over it. i tried my hardest not to change but i did. at first i just changed my crewneck, but then i had to change my shorts cause my crewneck touches my shorts. but then i changed my shorts. and now i feel like my shirt is contaminated cause i was wearing it with my other shorts before changing. moral of the story, i just have so much anxiety over it and i feel like i shouldn’t because it’s really not a big deal. and i don’t want to change again because that seems ridiculous to me. plus now i’m connecting the contamination to my bed since i was laying on my bed before i changed. i hate life, this sucks.

Today I heard a girl say ' no, I know I have OCD because I need to have a clean car'. I asked ''what are you worried about happening if you don't have a clean car' and she told me 'nothing'. And she told me she has to organize her cutlery. She continued to be...well.... oblivious and it's almost like she sees it as a trend for social media. Like what even is that??!! It was so bad for me last year and After all the debilitation I have worked through, it's kind of somehow insulting when someone thinks it's trendy to have. Like why am I still mad about it. This was 12 hours ago and I'm still urked but I know people would get it if I wrote it here! I need absolutely no reassurance, I feel how I feel I'm just mad!

Need some advice please. I'm trying to fix my social anxiety, self esteem and confidence but ocd infests itself and makes me I had all these issues because I my ocd was true all along. For example, Im extremely uptight/awkward around people and have a fear of being judged, laughed at or seen through, fear of not being liked etc. One cause of this I read is it's because i suppressed my real self/feelings and pretended to put on a fake mask to be liked by others/fit in and now that im older that mask is breaking and causing me disconnect from my real self. My hocd inserts itself and makes me feel because I was gay all along without knowing it is why it happened. It genuinely feels like that's the case but then I feel dreaded and depressed because it feels so real I'm ready to accept that scenario. But back then I didnt think I could have been gay or anything. Im not sure how to handle this difficulty. Please any advice?

okay so i know that my boyfriend gets busy and i am usually checking my phone ALL THE TIME. like i am just that kind of person. but sometimes my boyfriend doesn’t reply to me for a bit and it makes me sad. he lags a lot, and it makes me mad when he doesn’t reply for a long time. we text and stuff but he doesn’t text me as much as he used to. and it stresses me out and i worry that it’s a red flag, or if it’s my OCD telling me to worry about it. i am the kind of person to say “actions speak louder than words “ and ive said that to him multiple times and he says he’s gonna work on things. it’s not like he doesn’t text me AT ALL, he texts me good morning everyday it’s just the lagging that makes me upset. so, is it my OCD telling me to worry about it or is it actually a concern?

im not diagnosed but for the past five years i've been seeing A LOT of ocd symptoms in myself. i kinda accepted that i might have it and learning about people's experiences helped me a lot. i was in a really bad place when i was 16 but at some point i got better (so i thought) I've lost one relationship and i healed from loosing it and then i fell in love again. we we're together for a year and six months. i was really happy for most of the time but unfortunately we we're both not really stable mentally and we both had some mental issues. i helped my girlfriend and i supported her the best i could. she managed to move in in my city and we started living together november. at first it still was her who had a lot of issues (probably depression and being very suicidal) i was struggling and i was really stressed but i tried my best to help. i think eventually she got better in january everything was happening all at once. i've lost my job and we had to move out to a different apartment and in the same time she gained new friends at work. earlier my ocd was showing up occasionally but since that time i think it got kinda worse. i have very low self esteem and when my girlfriend got really close with one girl in her work i started feeling uneasy. i never wanted to be a jelous and controlling girlfriend but my head was constantly telling me "she's will get bored of you bc of her new friend" "she's starting to care more about her than you" and it was unbearable. we talked about it few times and she tried to reassure me but at some point i saw she's not feeling good about my self doubt and being jelous. months passed and everything was getting worse. she become more and more distant, she stopped showing me any affection, she stopped asking me on a dates, she stopped flirting and even on my birthday i had to please her to stop texting someone and focus on a movie we were watching. and now two days ago she broke up with me. few days earlier we had a serious talk and she told me she doesn't feel like doing anything romantic with me anymore and when i asked why she told me she thinks she got tired of me. i asked her what about me makes her tired and she told me "it's because you can't do and cope with anything" or smth like that (its hard to translate it to English). and i understand that it could be tiring bc i was doing bad mentally and i asked for reassurance a lot even tho i knew it's my compulsion and even tho i told her i will try not to. i am also a very anxious person and i was really stressed aboud my new job and money and a lot of things and all of it made her tired. i feel so guilty that i couldn't try harder. i feel so guilty for not noticing I'm actually loosing her earlier. or maybe i actually was noticing it by being scared when she started to be mkre excited to spend time with her friend rather than me? i don't know i just feel so bad bc i still love her and i don't know if I can't stop bit i already asked her few times if she's sure that this is what she wants and i told her i will try harder and i booked a visit with a psychiatrist but she told me she's too tired to try. im scared she's also struggling mentally. i don't really know what i even want to hear from you guys i just really want to disappear bc i can't stop blaming myself for loosing my soulmate and the best person in the entire world, the most beautiful, funny and sweet person. she doesn't need me anymore. she doesn't want me and it hurts ass hell. and the fact that it might be all my fault hurt even more

people who have so-ocd, do you feel like you’re lying to your partner secretly. i don’t know why i get these intrusive thoughts but my mind continuously keeps making scenarios where i will leave my girlfriend in the future for a man. i want to stay a lesbian forever and i don’t want to hurt my girlfriend and it makes me so upset that my brain makes these thoughts up. i really hate all these thoughts and i don’t want to be with a man, i don’t want to be attracted with one, i don’t want to like one or anything related to one.

But it actually feels worse, and no not because now Im letting myself feel the feelings, I feel more stressful and hopelessness sparked out too, and a weird scary feeling, i think its anxiety, that i feel back in the pandemic and I woke up at the middle of the night feeling that feeling many times.For years i felt good now that im trying to let myself feel the emotions, fear and hopelessness kicks in. I understand that you should accept and allow every feeling, but if you have alot of fear it will just throw you wherever it wants and you will feel hopeless. I know when you are there, feeling depressed and hopeless it means you did something bad(well not always but you know what i mean). I tried it but this scary feeling of hopeless anxiety made me stop it.

Hi all, I’m F(20) and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend M(20) for 10 months now. Lately it feels like I’ve been getting triggered at the tiniest thing. My relationship OCD is centered around the idea that my bf will leave me, that suddenly his feelings will change and he’ll never look back. Inherently I know this is irrational and I know he loves me very much (as he tells me repeatedly when I compulsively ask for reassurance). I just can’t make my brain stop. I just feel so unsecured. He will mention that one of his friends drove an hour to see him for only 30 minutes. I will then spiral that I am not possibly doing enough and it’s because he’s secretly done with me and he’s longing for a reason to leave and go be with this friend instead. See? Truly irrational. But I cannot stop it. Any tips at all? Maybe I’m at least not alone in this. I often feel literally insane:(

Just a quick question how did you guys who have gotten better learn to accept these thoughts and not fight them ? What tips and tricks did you guys use to truly get better.

17f Basically I made a post about POCD, saying that one phrase people often say as a reassurance is not true and it never helps me because I know it's not true. At the beginning of the post I made a warning, saying that this will be triggering for those with POCD. So I warned. And then in the comments someone started seeking reassurance and freaking out. And she said stuff that are not true again, at first I argued a bit cause well... I made a post and I wanted to defend my position, so I defended what I said. Like what I needed to do? Lie to her? Now i think that I should've just ignored that user But then after we talked she said that because of my post she now thinks she is a pedophile and will off herself and then spammed me with comments asking for reassurance At first I was trying to calm her down, saying that if her psychiatrist said that she has POCD then she is not a P and stuff, but then I just realized I can't do anything so I just replied to every one of her comments "I'm not a therapist. I can't help you. You need to seek professional help and shouldn't rely on the opinion of the strangers on the internet" Now I feel so guilty. I mean she was the one to start asking questions, and sometimes when I argue I feel too passionate to defend my position in the argument and forget about people's feelings so I said a very harsh truth to her after she started arguing with me and I made it worse for her Even though I knew how suicidal you can feel because of POCD I still argued

I’m stuck in a loop, I can’t stop avoiding the thoughts by watching tik tok, I’m paralyzed on the couch, I’m searching for clues everywhere that something bad is happening I don’t know how to go on like this anymore my fears are so strong so present they feel so real. Any mention of the future sends my whole body into panic. My arms go numb, I can’t keep living like this i feel like I’m going crazy

I've got a smart watch that tracks my sleep. It gives data like heart rate, heart rate variability (HRV), respiratory rate, sleep cycles, restfullness, etc etc etc. Well, since the health OCD has gotten to its peak, I am noticing a false patterning coming from it. For context; I was sick 2 times in recent memory where sleeping heart rate and HRV became metrics that I could use to sort of track the illness. In the days leading up to it, I'd notice my heart rate going up and HRV going down (higher hrv is better.) Then when I was fully sick, my HRV would be up to 15ms less than normal. So now, when I look over my sleep data (because I like to look at data like that, it is interesting to me) and notice my HRV is lower than normal, it triggers intrusive thoughts of "am i getting sick again?" despite no other symptoms. Ruminating begins as I try to "figure out" the cause, despite knowing that stress can lower sleeping HRV. My question is; is it a compulsion to be looking at my sleep data? Should I avoid it altogether? Or is this exactly what ERP is; exposing myself to a triggering event and preventing the response? I look at the data either way and it is only alarming when I see something out of the ordinary. So, do I stop tracking my sleep, or is this a good small step for ERP?

Warning: This might be triggering for people with POCD But very often when someone (me included) seeks reassurance with POCD people say "well a pedophile wouldn't worry about being a pedophile so you are not one" or "the fact that you are stressing about it means you care and you are not a pedophile" It's just pissing me off when people say it (I know they are trying to help) cause it seems like they have no idea what are they talking about. Even some therapist here said something like that to me once and it makes it hard to trust them after that, cause this is not true... Pedophlia is a paraphilia, and paraphilias can be ego dystonic. So a pedophile CAN be distressed because of his attraction and can worry about it too. Doesn't mean he is suddenly not one. I've seen multiple reddit confessions from actual pedophiles (non-offending ones) and most of them seem to hate the fact they have this attraction. Even saw I guy who thought he had POCD but then after years of therapy understood that he actually has this paraphilia. So those words just never help me

I stopped being friends with somebody years ago and still get magical thinking OCD about them (it was over something, not losing contact because we grew up). We were friends for many years, since high school, althought at times even my relatives noticed I was mentally drained every time we met. Like the kind of person that you wish the best for them, but you don't connect anymore and they take all your energy. I see it as toxic, to be honest. How do I erase this person and all my memories of them out of my brain? I get so much anxiety about this

What if you did something so extremely awful and horrible as a child but you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? The POCD real events were extremely awful and horrible... no way around... it genuinely was extremely awful and horrible... I gag and v0mit even thinking about it... its that horrible... I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 14... I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 14... but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 14 when these real events happened and now I'm 23... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 14 at the time… now I’m 23… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 14… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 14….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 14 because someone told me what these real events were before... but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... i truly didnt... I dont ever want to ever be what my pocd and real events ocd say I am... I dont ever want to be a P or a Chomo in any way... im so so scared... these real events were so extremely horrible and awful and worse than people realize... i g4g and v0mit and lie awake at night even thinking about them... thats how horrible and awful these mistakes were... I dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a Chomo or a r4pist or anything like that... im so so so so so so so so so so triggered and scared and anxious...