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Any tips on whenever you’re getting that intrusive thought, what can I tell myself without reassuring myself

so idk what this is but last year around this time is when my anxiety and ocd got so bad, it was the worst time of my life to the point where i had a plan to end my life, i also was in a horrible abusive relationship that traumatized me. so last year august-November was so horrible for me like those months absolutely ruined me and i think about it everyday. And now that it’s august again i feel like that person again, and like i feel like im in that same situation all over again and I hate it so much. What does this mean? And now im scared that im gonna feel this way up until November and that’s terrifying.

Hi everyone! I’ve been struggling a ton lately and wanted to see if anyone else has this problem. I constantly have to have people repeat what they said to me in order to comprehend what they just said. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I constantly get into brain fogs where I can’t always hear what’s being said, which leads to me reading lips just to get by. On top of that, sometimes the fogs get so bad that I can’t even lip read which results in me missing conversations completely 99% of the time. Does anyone else experience this and what do you do to improve it?

Hey all, this is my first post here, and I really think I'm going through the worst theme I've ever had. For weeks I've been having never ending reaccuring thoughts about everything having to do with being a person, life in general, other peoples lives and experiences, the meaning/purpose of life, and especially ruminating on death and the fact that everyone I know will die, including myself. It's gotten to the point of dissociation, and life feels simulated and fake. I can't think about anything else and the terror that comes along with it is awful (it's almost humorous to me that I'd rather have the POCD or ROCD themes I've had before, this seems so much worse) with death being the main fear in this theme I've given into the compulsions of researching death statistics (such as how many people die in my age group per year and how, car accident/heart disease/cancer statistics) over and over again and constantly repeating them in my head over and over. Driving got scary for a little while, but funny enough driving more (exposure) made that fear manageable. It's also gotten bad with the constant fear of knowing my loved ones will pass, and obsessing over how and when it'll happen. I'm also waking up everyday telling myself it'll be the day I die, and obsessing over the fact that most no one knows their last day and how genuinely terrifying that is. I'm constantly wondering what the point of anything is, if I'm just going to die, and almost prematurely mourning the death of loved ones and the loss of my own life. I am religious, and this offers some relief, but usually just ends in my OCD dipping into some Scrupulosity (which is just ugh why now this). Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has experienced anything like this, I'm feeling pretty alone and depressed and genuinely can't see my life going back to normal or any way out of it.

These days I was on quora and I saw a post thtat said that porn addiction doesn't exist, and porn is healthy, and I was like "No?!?!?". Because the post said that some people watch like, incest porn because they like it and not because of an addiction. But 90% of people with porn addiction don't find the content they watch attractive, and after watching it, they feel disgusted and regret it, and that's a sign of addiction, you watch all those things like, incest porn, bdsm and etc ... not because you like them, but because your body just wants to feel something stronger that common porn can't offer anymore.

I really need some advice. My rocd is so bad that even spending time with my boyfriend is triggering my anxiety. Is that normal? Is that even rocd or do I just not want to spend time with him? He is great and if I didn’t have negative thoughts when I’m with him I would enjoy it. The first half hr I spend with him I have no anxiety and feel relaxed, but then this horrible anxiety comes over me like I have to be alone and be away from him. I don’t know what this means. Am I torturing myself unnecessarily by being in a relationship with him, because my rocd is not even letting me enjoy time with him? My brain is telling me he is the cause of all my anxiety, but breaking up with him would be awful! We can’t go on holiday either. A relationship shouldn’t be like this should it? I should be excited to see him and have fun, but I just have crippling anxiety when I’m with him because my ocd has associated my boyfriend as the problem. Maybe I’m making rocd an excuse because the thought of being alone is terrifying. I’m scared I’m holding onto something that is really affecting my mental health, but he’s so great and amazing when he’s with me, there’s no reason for these extreme feelings. How do I make this better? Any advice greatly appreciated!!!

I went to see a psychiatrist today. She was pretty nice, but even though I was listing ALL symptoms of OCD, all the obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, she was uncertain about it, as if she did not understand what was going on. She didn't rule out the possibility of me having OCD, but she didn't confirm it. I understand that doctors usually won't diagnose patients in their first visit, but goddamn... I'm so scared right now. I keep doubting that I have OCD myself, I identify with all the symptoms but I doubt it all the time and feel the need to reassure myself that I have the disorder. If I don't have OCD, my life is fucking over. She gave me a diagnosis for Generalized Anxiety Disorder and prescribed me some medication. I received that diagnosis because I shared some of the trouble I'm going through at work. But if I fear that I don't really have OCD if an actual mental health professional can't recognize that as OCD. All the relentless researching, rumination, mental checking/testing, spending hours doing these things to achieve a sense of certainty and avoiding things out of fear of getting triggered.

So I have this new thought that is “I have to do what my ocd is saying to do (which involves my kids)for these thoughts to go away”. Is this remotely normal for harm ocd? I feel so disgusting for even having this cross my mind. I feel like such a horrible mother. 😭

Hi, I'm Sky. I'm not 100% sure if I have OCD or not. I've had multiple psychiatrist diagnose me with it but also one that said I was misdiagnosed. It does run in my family heavily on my father's side. I was wondering if anyone could talk to me about their experiences with OCD so maybe I can see if I relate. I feel like I suffer from intrusive thoughts but I also struggle with CPTSD and GAD. I find myself obsessing over made up scenarios or problems and I cant think of anything else. I have a lot of routines but I'm not sure if they are OCD related or not. I know this input wouldn't truly tell me if I have it or not and that I should reach out for another professional opinion, and I will. But I'm just trying to reassure myself that it's even worth bringing up. (Cat gif just because it's cute uwu)

I had a lot of mental stamina before my OCD got severe and I often compare my current state of being to who I was. I especially do this with the recovery I experienced 2 years into ERP. I thought I'd never have to face that terrible suffering again. A lot happened last year and my OCD blew up in my face. It's been difficult, but in a different way than I experienced when first going through OCD. Rather than being moved by desperation to recover, I became apathetic, which scared me even more. But here's what I've learned for myself about recovery apathy and I hope someone finds this helpful, too, because I haven't heard many people really talking about it. - My apathy was actually overwhelm. I had fought hard to overcome OCD and the thought of having to go through that again triggered feelings of hopelessness. Really, in retrospect, I see that it was rooted in a desire to get out of the spiral immediately because what if this ruined all of my progress? - By expecting myself to feel better quickly, I became fixated on monitoring my internal world. I was checking every feeling and sensation I had, and using them to figure out how to escape. The more I did this, however, the more I lost touch with my actual needs and desires. - I began to feel ashamed of myself for slipping and losing myself. I kept telling myself I'd do xyz to get back on top, but either wouldn't follow through, the goals would be too big, or whatever I was aiming for was a means of neutralizing the noise, as I like to call it. When you try to neutralize OCD noise, it just gets louder. - My repeated "fails" and attempts to fix myself amplified my shame and feelings of apathy. I didn't know how to break free or sit with what I was doing to myself. I didn't even know how I was doing it. I felt like all of my OCD knowledge went out the window. - A year into it, I have started to learn that it's all the same. This is also OCD. The noise tells me that I can't get better unless I do x first, I need to pay attention to how I'm feeling to learn how to take care of myself, I need to analyze my thoughts and sort through all the uncertainty. At the core of all of these fear-statements is a little girl who feels unsafe. - I started a journal on my compulsions, opened up to people I trust, and moved towards discomfort. I feel anxious and don't know why? Huh, guess I'll color for a bit and use that as inspiration. I used to love writing but now it feels like an apathetic gridlock? I'll set a timer for 10 minutes and write creatively without editing. I'm scared of being weird at work and being so uncool I'm not well liked? Unfortunate, that's their loss because I'm pretty cool. - I work on building myself up instead of analyzing thoughts about whether or not I'm worthy or loveable. I reconnect to things I loved as a kid. I invite my body to relax instead of forcing it to because I choose to honor how afraid it is after being through so much stress and turmoil. I hug myself and imagine hugging that little girl, and I remind myself that I never need permission to be loved. I go to my fiance when I feel trapped or alone, and when he isn't around, I utilize empty chair exercises where I have an open discussion between myself and those lonely parts of me. - Essentially, I realize that acceptance comes from befriending and normalizing our experiences. Just because others don't understand or don't like us doesn't mean we must feel that way about ourselves. What we experience is just as valid as what anyone else goes through and we don't always like or understand them, yet they treat themselves well. Shame tells us we can't be kind to ourselves, rather we must fix something that's wrong in us. I've learned that the true exposure is to soothe the shame with as many tears, hugs, and hobbies as it takes.

How do you stop the bad number loop

My dog almost got attacked by a pitbull. I was walking him and I was lucky that my little cousin was with me, she saw that the gate from a house was open and a big pitbull was coming near us. If she wouldnt be there i wouldnt notice the dog and he wouldve killed my dog. I just cant handle this stress, everytime im afraid something or someone will kill my dog, im just tired of people being so fckn irresponsible, im tired of this. I love my dog but i cant handle this stress. The worst part is i cant do anything about this, i cant control others, i cant make sure everytime that my dog wont get hurt. I cant just accept that it is what it is, if he dies he dies. Im angry that i just hear to be angry and listen it cause theres a problem you have to solve, well what is i cant solve the problem? This just makes me feel hopeless i cant control the outside world, there are dogs outside without leash, people dont close their gates and dogs can just come out, last sunday we were in a park and a guy was walking with 3 big dogs without leash and one started following us, this thing is so stressful to me... My parents doesnt help me cause all i get is its my fault why did i wanted a dog... I dont want to lose him or give him away, but this sht is really stressful, im at peace at all since i got him.The worst part is i hear alot of stories people losing their little dog by some other dog killing it or dying by an illness and i should just accept it but thats not that easy... if you have a kid and he/she is in danger, do you just accept it is what it is, you might lose them cause you cant control poeple? I dont know what to do, theres no safety plan, i still will be afraid and i want to stop worry. Its a problem that i still keep obsessing about what happened, but im tired of this, im tired of irresponsible people, im tired of living in fear.

I cant live with myself I’m too the point I don’t even wanna eat .. wake up bad anxiety.. questioning myself if it’s even intrusive thoughts or ptsd .. I can’t do this

I'm making mistakes and it's bothering me. Sometimes when I pee a drop of urine gets on the floor and it bothers me. I will only clean the floor when about to get in the shower, so I cope by changing my socks in the meantime, for any trips to the bathroom. Lately I've begun to forget to change my socks. I think my meds have me day dreaming a bit, and each time I wash my hands after peeing, my mind goes to lala land. It just happened again. I also have a pair of pants I use when I go pee, so that the pants I'm wearing any given day don't get any urine on them. Anyway, after washing my hands, I went back to my bedroom and changed my pants. I wear a pair of shoes through psrt of my house to avoid the rug in that area, so I also put those on while going to change my pants. Now I feel as though my shoes and pants are dirty, because I forgot to change my socks until I was washing my hands after changing my pants change. I would love someone to tell me how I can restore the feeling of un-disgust. Any help is treasured.

So- I had glasses before and I just got a new prescription- my eye power increased by like .5 which is not that serious but still I needed new glasses- but I have had these new glasses for like 3 days and on the first day I faced some eyestrain but its not there anymore- but I feel like im convincing myself that it is the wrong eye power and I feel like im exaggerating the wonkiness of the glasses 😭 bc there is an adjustment period with new glasses but I dont know- what if its the wrong prescription and i have to get new ones and i dont have time bc school starts in 12 days and i need my new glasses before but if its the wrong one i will actually explode- AND WHDJSJSKSKAKKZKS what if im going blind 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 no but seriously I keep convincing myself that this is the wrong eye power even though I can see clearly- but idk in my head im like “its wonky” “it looks wonky” “you cant see” “you need new glasses” “youre going blind” 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Does anyone else get memories suddenly from years ago that goes along with your ocd theme at the current moment and you are shocked how you forgot such a bad memory for years?

As the title states, my intrusive thought of "being in a dream" when I'm conscious is horrible tonight. Constant need of reassurance, trying to find any distraction. I can't get this thought out of my head no matter what I do. It's on the top of my thinking list 24/7 no matter what I try. Im feeling bad derealization and it makes me want to wish I didn't exist..I was fine before my panic attack from an ocular migraine (losing my eyesight is my biggest fear)...but now I'm not living...I'm just surviving...I'm very depressed...I haven't eaten today and had to remind myself to take a shower, brush my teeth, and drink water. I have a therapy session on here tomorrow...I'm praying so hard that I get answers and ways to get rid of this stupid thought that appeared out of nowhere....

It's so hard to improve my self esteem. My thoughts are always focused on the things I don't do right. The things that makes me ashamed of myself my addictions. The things I don't do right. Not believing I should be in a relationship, etc. This is really hard. I often just keep myself in this circle of being hard on myself or just not giving myself the same grace as other people because of bad actions in the past.

im gonna start an ocd support group in the fall (like actually in person) and is it bad that im kinda veiwing it as my dating pool? like a bunch of people that get it and might also have false and real memories ocd like? sounds nice. literally never dated before because i never have time in between these blow out episodes to form a connection or make a date but like i feel like it would be easier with someone who also has ocd because theyd get it.

Hi community! I’m new to NOCD and OCD treatment in general. I recently started seeing a specialist for what I suspect (and hope) is SO-OCD. For context, I have happily and comfortably identified as a lesbian for the past 8+ years (i.e. since late adolescence, have only dated women, dreamt of a life with a woman, etc). It always seemed natural to me and how I saw myself. Up until 2 months ago, I had little to no problem acknowledging a guy’s attractiveness when - seemingly overnight - boom…then I did. Relentless intimate/sexual intrusive thoughts, groinals, constant false attractions to strangers and platonic acquaintances, total loss of genuine attraction as I knew it, and so on. I had no idea what was happening to me. The possibility of OCD didn’t even occur to me at first as I hadn’t experienced these nonstop intrusive thoughts and compulsions before. Rumination accelerated quickly. It was devastating, disorienting, and felt like death. I couldn’t stand to be in my own mind. Discovering this app/community was a crucial turning point. It gave me language for my experience as well as direction for treatment and hopeful recovery. I’m not sure where I am in this journey or what I feel now exactly. All I know is that these months have drained me: it feels like my memories have been distorted, like I‘ve been cut off from the person I used to be, like I can’t even imagine being that person. It’s all doubt. Even with a diagnosis. As I type this, there’s a little voice telling me I’m lying, that I’ve been wrong about my life, but I’m trying to push through. I wanted to write about my experience here partly because I haven’t found posts from other gay/queer people who seem this deep into “the spiral” so to speak. Just to say you’re not alone if you are. <3 Huge thanks to everyone who posts here, across themes. As a newbie, your courage is admirable and very appreciated. Thank you for helping me feel less alone. Wishing you all well in recovery!