- Date posted
- 35w ago
Real events!!!
Does anyone else get memories suddenly from years ago that goes along with your ocd theme at the current moment and you are shocked how you forgot such a bad memory for years?
Does anyone else get memories suddenly from years ago that goes along with your ocd theme at the current moment and you are shocked how you forgot such a bad memory for years?
I do get random memories from months or years ago that my OCD uses to prove what it says is right. I have SO-OCD and for example my brain keeps reminding me of random boys I found somehow attractive in the past. I guess our brain forgot about it as it wasn't relevant at all at the moment and idk how OCD is powerful enough to dig it all up ☠️. It's a fucking nightmare isn't? 😃
@Alice1837 Yes
@Alice1837 Omgggg same! Literally for me it can feel like humiliation/degradation (severe intrusiveness). I’ve learn to let it happen and remind myself no one’s perfect, and nothing to feel ashamed about of keep growing 🌻
Our brain needs to store memories somewhere, much like a computer. However, it has limited space for storing these experiences. So, what does the brain do? It performs a kind of "garbage collection" each day. It sifts through old and dusty boxes of memories, opens them to see what's inside (which explains why forgotten memories sometimes resurface), and then clears out space for new information
Especially those who have Transgender ocd
Yeah I had this all the time, like I got a memory of me staring at dudes boddy parts and I'm like, but how could I forget that, or I get a memory that I was into a dude, that I didn' even recall existed and I'm like, how could I feel that and then just forget about i
@Nicolas:) But yours are false wether mine are real
@Nicolas:) I had memories supports the tocd theme
I get this quite a lot. You aren’t alone in this.
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
I don’t know how to deal with the thoughts that come and barely gone. Usually, the brain often remembers and forgets things. People with OCD however struggle with trying to forget the intrusive thoughts because of the imbalance trying to convey what is real and if the thoughts in your head will come true. Just for the past few days, I was having fun and suddenly hit with a wave of obsessive thoughts and making me stuck with nowhere to go.
17f Just like the title says. I came to realization that I lost a whole year of life. I remembered my real event in the end of january of 2024. Since then my life has been a living hell. Also kinda made a couple new smaller events through this year. And I know I deserve it cause my event was actually bad. Even people without ocd on reddit agree it was bad. It's still ocd, but I deserve it probably. For this whole year I haven't had a day when I wouldn't think of it. It became my default state to constantly have it on my mind. I walked around, pretended to have fun, talked to people. Most of the time I wasn't really there, I was thinking about my event. My event haunts me when I'm awake, when I'm asleep. I spend this whole year either freaking out, being depressed, thinking on methods to off myself, ruminating, seeking reassurance or trying to distract myself with books, TV shows, social media or daydreaming. Literally barely engaged with reality. So it's so hard to believe a whole year passed... I can barely remember anything that happened during this year. I can't believe this is my life. Probably doesn't really matter cause I don't plan on staying there that long. There is no way I'm going to experience piece with myself. So I will be out in a year or so, since my plan requires some time. Finally will end it all. It just feels very weird. A whole year passed. I was so deep down in my head I didn't even notice. It's scary.
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