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I just don’t think I can do this. Every little thing feels like the biggest task in the world. I dread every part of the day and my anxiety has just made me so depressed and completely unable to do anything and I’ve pushed away all my friends. I don’t know what to do.

I really need help, this has been a new subtype coming up, I think??? It has been going on for three days straight So, can ocd trick you into thinking you like someone?? Like making you feel things?? I’m seriously terrified and I keep thinking and feeling things like this and it’s freaking me out Because, number one, I’m in a happy relationship with my gf and would never do that and I don’t want to break up???! And I don’t genuinely like anyone like that??? I’m scared that it’s true or something, and it makes me extremely uncomfortable and terrified, and it has made me stay away from people

I’m soo stuck and that’s the only way I’ve been feeling for over a year. Just stuck. I can’t even deal with myself anymore my intrusive thoughts keeps winning more and more I feel like they’ll eventually defeat me. There’s no words that can help I just feel like it’s over even if it’s not. I’m soo scared inside and out

What happened yesterday, i posted before that we got sick, now we know we got food poisoned, but we feel better, however my experience and the memories that came back makes me really uncomfortable. I got the memories when i had really bad mental health problems and i got attacked by suicidal thoughts, and i was panicking and felt depressed and like i need people to feel safe, and all these feelings and thoughts came back. Always said i had suicidal ocd but this one felt like if i couldnt have someone maybe i could lose my mind and act on the thoughts cause i was really desperate. But now im only spinning about why do i had that, does it mean im actually suicidal in hard times, and it actually makes me sick in my stomach, i feel really bad about it. One thing that makes me feel good that im so open about it and that might mean that its just ocd, but also i read posts on reddid where people shared their original suicidal experiences and those people are open too and they feel shame about the thoughts too, so it doesnt gives me the feeling that its clear that mine is just ocd... alot of times it comes up when im having a really hard time and i feel like that means something...

I have a certain number that reminds me of a bad trauma I have. I see if 24/7. I can’t get away from it. I feel stalked by it. I feel insane. People think I’m stupid. Even other people with ocd told me “it’s just a number” when trying to open up about it. It’s not just a number. I don’t want to get into what the number is and how it relates. But it’s scary. I feel like I’m going crazy. I can’t eat, sleep, breathe, without seeing it and associating bad luck with it. How do I deal with this????????????????????????????

I don't want to have to address every single medical concern I think I have because of medical bills but then I'm concerned I'll miss something that will kill me. My kidneys start hurting = "oh no I'm gonna have organ failure! You have to catch these things early! What if I shrug it off and I die!" I don't know how severe my pain has to be for it to be serious! I'm in pain all the time it seems and my tolerance is high so it's hard to tell if I need to address it seriously or if I am overreacting

Is there anyone here who has struggled with SO-OCD for a very long time? or as long as they could remember? I see a lot of post of people saying "yes, I always knew I was straight and it came suddently out of nowhere" or "yes I was always boy crazy and one morning I woke up and had these thoughts". However, I have had these thoughts for as long as I could remembrer (maybe since I was 8 or 10 years old) and I am 26 today! Which makes me feel like 1) my OCD is fake and its just denial and I'm just too afraid 2) I feel so alone. My therapist actually dignosed me with SOOCD 6 years ago but I just always feel like there is something not right... I also have been with my bf for 6 years and I love him but again it always felt like something was missing... and at the same time I cant imagine life without him and I love cuddling/being close to him... I know that there are a lot of people on the spectrum, I'm just scared that I'm living a lie and will deceive everyone and will come out later in life (like Sophia Bush or Chrishell Stause) when I have kids and I'm gonna ruin everyone's life... Like my mind is telling me now is better than after, come on do it!

A mixture of heartbreak and ocd is the worst combination to have when you’re a young adult trying to find their way through life and all I can think about is how do I just stop feeling, how can I just stop living this way, and if I’ll ever feel like my normal self again. I am a broken woman and I feel it so deep within my body that it hurts beyond repair. Everyone keeps saying give yourself time you’ll heal, but I can’t do this anymore. Genuinely I’m stuck and I’m unhappy with the state of my life and myself, I’m sick of being stuck on a person who doesn’t like me, on every night out disrespects me and my family, makes me cry and feel replaceable. Worthless is another, I feel insanely worthless. Hes now with another girl and she’s pregnant. They’ve been together 3 weeks, we broke up a month ago and stopped speaking 3 weeks ago. So the time period for everything is incredibly rushed and makes me feel even worse about myself. Nobody wants to be with me, why? I don’t even want to be with myself anymore. I have this horrendous feeling in my stomach every single day, makes me feel sick or something. And I’m just done with feeling this way. All I want is to feel better again and I don’t know where to begin. Therapy didn’t work, medication is a no, how do people do this? I’m starting to have scary thoughts about not being here anymore, and how the only way I’ll feel at peace with myself or something is to just fall asleep and never wake up. It’s stupid I know because it’s only a break up, but it’s not just the break up, I hate the way I thinks the way I act, the way I’m perceived by others, the constant worry everyone is talking about me, the constant nagging in my head fnag I’m useless, worthless, ugly, stupid, pathetic, psychotic, crazy, hated, laughed at, judged, perosn that nobody wants around. It’s hard and idk what I do anymore

just curious if anyone is taking luvox for ocd? i’ve been on it for about two years, got off once during that time because of libido issues and tried welbutrin. that made my ocd spiral out of control. specifically existential ocd, caused me to disassociate the whole week i was on it. i got off and back onto luvox and now it’s almost been a year again. so i noticed im better but now as good as i was when i started the first time. i’m on 50mg and im wondering if i should ask my dr to increase? does anyone else take it what mg and if you got it increased did it help at all? thanks!!!

I’m wondering if anyone has tips for practicing self love. I feel like I’ve hit a wall because of my ocd, where I’m upset because I was born with a brain that doesn’t allow me to trust myself, and even though my traumas and trials weren’t my fault, it’s still entirely my responsibility to fix the damage that’s been done, a task made extremely difficult because of ocd. I have to trust myself to put in the work to be better, I’ve made so much progress too, but it’s not enough, and it’s not coming fast enough. For example, I have a skin picking problem. I keep making progress and then stress or other factored cause me to relapse. I stare at myself in the mirror and ask myself why I can’t just be normal, why I can’t just stop, leave it alone and let my skin heal. I hate myself for struggling with this, but the more I shit in myself the worse my condition becomes. I want to practice self love, I want to learn to trust myself, but I have no idea where to start. I don’t want to feed into the ocd by googling possible solutions and whatnot, I figured asking members of the community would be a safer choice. If you have any tips to share please do, thanks 💪

Does anyone else find comfort in their OCD? I know I have pretty severe issues that come with it, but it makes me feel better in a way. I want to get better, but I don’t want to lose the feeling of clarity I have from OCD. I am specifically thinking of checking (and even intrusive thoughts in a way). By completing my little compulsions and routines, I can breathe and relax a bit. If I “get better” am I going to be able to be as thorough and careful as I am now? How else will I be able to soothe myself if I can’t do these things? That is very distressing to me because I very much think that my OCD is connected to anxiety, and if I can fix my OCD, will my anxiety become worse or less manageable? Am I going to lose the ability to self soothe? At the same time, I want to get better because the compulsions and routines and thoughts can be extremely overwhelming and upsetting and I waste so much time and energy. I’m just worried that I won’t be a whole person if I can fix myself, but I also don’t feel like a whole person when I’m dealing with it all every minute of the day. Does anyone understand this? How do you go about fixing it without losing part of yourself?

Does being an affectionate person feed anyone else's ocd? I used to be super touch repulsed as a kid and young teen but after alot of therapy I became a really physically affectionate person. I love hugging and cuddling the people I care about, close friends, family, etc. But ever since my first ocd flare up sometimes it can feel like my ocd recontextualizes this to mean I'm some kind of pervert whose uses being an affectionate guy as an excuse to get too close to people. I feel like alot of the time we can shut down parts of ourselves to "apease" the ocdemon as a form of avoidance, but I don't want to be anyone but the friendly guy who loves his friends and isn't afraid to show it. So if you feel the same tell me ur story, maybe we can support eachother

I’ve been suffering through OCD for years and at varying levels of intensity. I’ve gone through stages of all sorts, cleanliness, harm, pure. Most recently I’ve been terrified of subconsciously or impulsively groping people, mainly women. It’s been lasting months, this intense fear when passing people on the street or in the workplace or even members of my own family and friends. I am absolutely terrified that I may do that against my own will. Or the intrusive thought may come into my mind and it gives me so much distress. For months now it has made going out in public, to the shops or to the gym or even going out of my apartment completely unbearable, I’m afraid to have my hands out of my pockets, I’m afraid of not being able to have full accountability of myself. I’m on fluoxetine and need to see a psych, I’m trying to expose myself to situations to lessen the fear but it’s just leading to a cycle of intense burnout and moments of accepting a life that’s ruined and then intense fear of ruining my life or harming someone else. I’m terrified of touching someone in that way, and I don’t know what to do. I had to quit my job and I just can’t see how I could ever return to normal. Reading posts on this community definitely helps, I guess I’m just writing now because I need to get it out of my head.

Does anyone have any hobbies that might help occupy my mind? i have a hard time distracting myself with my current hobbies, and i want something i have to think more about. i’m used to coloring, and listening to music, but i feel i need more.

i’m just getting over a pretty bad anxiety attack. it also started when i was making food and a wave of nausea hit me which of course sent me into a spiral. however i started thinking about how i’ve really neglected actually trying to work through my fear and thoughts over getting sick. because i’m so hyperfocused on getting my harm thoughts to diminish and be gone, i haven’t been doing the same for my contamination. i’ve pretty much diagnosed myself with emetophobia. and i know that’s so unhealthy to do especially as someone who’s not diagnosed with anything, but there’s absolutely no way in hell that i don’t have it. i cannot remember a time where being sick wasn’t on the forefront of my mind. and i do physical compulsions for it, but i never really thought i had intrusive thoughts over it. but when this (and past plural) anxiety attack was happening, my mind was telling me “if you just get sick, you won’t have to worry about it?”. then i took a zofran and am having thoughts of “the nausea will come back and you’ll get sick”. my heart is pounding just thinking about it. over the summer when my harm thoughts got extreme, my emetophobia essentially became a backseat thought. where it was still there but i wasn’t that worried over it. and i wished for it to come back but now that it’s here, i would do anything for it to be gone. i’m so back and forth because at least this anxiety is (mostly) keeping me from getting sick as i do anything and everything i can to prevent it. anyways, i’m so sorry this was so long but i had a lot on my mind that i needed to talk about. so much love to y’all 🫶🏻

I just can't believe how quickly my anxiety has gone down on some low to moderate fears! I had some setbacks earlier this week but also some really awesome successes in the small things. I feel like I had a little bit of a breakthrough in my thought process this week.

This disorder has nearly ended my life. Not even 1 hour ago i tried walking into a sea and wanting to end it because of this ocd and the loneliness that comes with it. For anyone out there you are not alone and always know that you have people out there who are by your side.

Sorry in advance if this is kinda gross lol Does anyone have any advice for checking compulsions?? in particular, cleanliness compulsions?? i’m currently having a flair up but i don’t know how to handle it. I can barely stand going to the bathroom, because i never feel like i’ve wiped enough or i’m not clean enough. In particular if I have to poop, even after i make sure i’ve cleaned myself thoroughly i still feel the urge to go back to the bathroom to check. And whenever i pass gas I feel the urge to check my underwear just in case i’ve had an accident. It’s getting so stressful and annoying at this point :// I’m wasting so much time and tissue when I check myself, but i can’t help it. It bothers me so much. I want to stop, but I don’t know what to.

Do you cope with genuine hopelessness? Deep down I am convinced this will never get better. I think about suicide a lot, but that would hurt my family. But even being alive is hurting them because I cannot stop the mental breakdowns. I also cannot afford therapy. But it's the hopelessness. I feel that suicide is inevitable because I cannot live with this. I cannot stop self harm and I have a mental breakdown almost every week and often multiple times a week. The self harm is giving me brain damage. I literally have no hope. None.

I've been dealing with my so-ocd for a bit now and I've been doing pretty good. But i just read someone's comment saying that if you've gone through a questioning phase then that could mean something. I went through a very small questioning phase before i even found out i had ocd. That phase lasted no more than 2 months even if that. I figured out that I was still straight and that is what makes me happy and comfortable.