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I’ve had a really hard day, and OCD has convinced me my bed isn’t safe. My bed is my comfort spot so this is the worst place it could hit me. I have fear of paranormal contamination and bad luck/curses/haunting. Today was the birthday of someone who OCD believes to be paranormally contaminated. I was in the lounge and thought I saw a white cloudy thing out the corner of my eye but couldn’t see it when I looked again. It’s likely it was smoke or a reflection in my glasses but I couldn’t figure it out. I had a shower but got back into bed wearing the same clothes I was wearing when it happened. OCD is telling me that a ghost related to the paranormally contaminated person (because of their birthday) was in my house and has clung to my clothes so is therefore in my bed and will now cause all of the things I’m afraid of to happen to me whenever I use my bed. I wish i didn’t get into my bed but I was trying to fight it - it’s so hard to fight it when you then end up in a huge spell of rumination and planning of compulsions to alleviate the stress. I know I shouldn’t give in but I’m so afraid. All I want is a new bed but it’s not like you can just go and buy a new bed every time OCD tells you. I’m so tired of being scared that bad things are going to happen to me, and this feels like the lowest blow it could’ve dealt me. I just needed to get it off my chest to someone who understands, so if you read this - thank you.

I can't keep feeling this way

Has anyone on here have experience with being in a relationship or friendship with a narcissist? Just got out of a relationship with a guy that was emotionally abusive and pretty heartless. Im studying Narcissistic Personality disorder and was wondering if anyone has any experience. He has heightened my OCD a ton in the form of perfectionism OCD because he acted like I was the most imperfect person in the world. Working through it though with ERP

I am recovering from a pretty intense relapse with my OCD and it’s left me with different desires for my future. I have always wanted a family, but I am so deeply afraid of relapsing when I am married or have kids. I can’t even take care of myself when I’m like that much less children or hold a job. I’m afraid if it comes back I’ll ruin everything I’ve worked for and ever wanted. It petrifies me that it comes with out warning. I don’t want to get close to people in fear they will catch me at a time as such

Does anyone else with ocd feel like it’s hard to feel things sometimes. Like for example thinking of someone passing away u don’t feel sad. Or like just everyday things it’s hard to like know how u feel? If so what is this?!

My husband thinks he knows so much about OCD, like he’s an expert or something. I really struggle with confessing things with OCD, but any time I go to talk to my husband about something that actually happened and is not just a false memory, he doesn’t let me talk to him about it, but I just need him to know what happened. Of course, I know that I am probably blowing the thing that happened out of proportion, but how do I navigate this? He won’t let me talk to him about anything related to OCD really because he thinks I’m constantly “confessing” things to him.

What does that mean? I always hear people say it

Hello fellow ocd sufferers hahaha So yesterday my therapist asked me if I was exposed to gore at a young age which actually the answer was no And really nop But as I grew up I became a big fan of Tarantino movies and resident evil games Gorey things that are not so serious like evil dead and some horror movies Like I cannot enjoy movies where people suffer like really suffer or people torture other people or living beings just for the pleasure of it like hostal or saw There's like a limit of what I'd watch But the question of my therapist left me wondering if that makes me a bad person or that makes my ocd worse And if I should avoid these movies I really love Tarantino movies because they're about revenge, journey, self discovery, they have great soundtracks and amazing photography but idk My mind also hasn't been really well to watch that stuff lately

so i used to not give into the compulsions because my therapist told me it would relieve me more then being subject to doing it. I started having these meltdowns and get angry and have an episode, eventually i just gave into my compulsions and tweaking every little thing. I find its so comforting and helps me forget about what im stressing about. Since ive gave in i havent had any episodes, my anger seems to have resided. I’ve also had less intrusive/impulsive thoughts. I dont know really what to do because i find myself giving into them more and more everyday but at the same time im not really upset about it. ??

anyone else get nervous to “look too deeply” into themselves bc of the intrusive thoughts and lies that arise from ocd? when i analyze myself too deeply ocd will tell me that i’m something i’m not

I’m exhausted and feel alone with my ocd. I’ve had it for 17 years and still feel like I need to beat it but I’m never going to get to that point and then if I’m starting to get better it feels unsettling. Can anyone relate? 💜

ive become fixated on the idea of somehow no longer being able to breathe and suffocating, just out of nowhere. and i know this isnt going to happen to me but im so scared of this happening that i start focusing on my breathing, and it feels like it IS harder to breathe but im pretty sure its just my anxiety and im playing tricks on myself… only issue is im not really sure if this is part of my ocd specifically

Does anyone else feel like OCD has become part of their entire life? Like I struggle with showering, using the bathroom, driving, trying to leave my house, cooking, eating, and doing my job. I feel like I’m drowning in it and it’s consuming my entire day and I feel like just breaking down and sobbing everyday over it. I see a therapist, and a psychiatrist but it’s been so bad that it’s taking a huge toll on my mental health and just my quality of life. I have gone through remission before, but it just feels like it has come back stronger and it’s just like seeping into everything in my day, it’s like I can’t ever escape it.

If I think all things done wrong are personal failures for erp are they going to make me do personal failures?

How would we even begin to start these?; *sigh* Okay, here we go. I mean a lot of this OCD “area-of-improvement” characterization, could easily be reorganized as strengths. How would I understand what is and isn’t necessary to change with this life partner, that is an OCPD induced brain. I do value her/ it in some ways. However, being alone with her is a bit of a task. It’s nice to have a community of like minded or should I say “shared-struggle” beings, attempting to respond, mechanize and reason with a thing not entirely understood but necessary to live with. While it feels that in time this program will help us gather a deeper understanding of what it means to gain control over our responses to internal and external interpretations of ourselves and our environment, I do understand that this is all a kind of tested hypothesis, one that may harm my partner brain. It is triggering to even begin to explain such a fear, let alone be given an open-ended outline requesting us to do so, together. NOCD however, one of, if not the most, advanced method of recovery proven to bring about success with the OCD marriage being more understood and if self co-existing with such a thing progressively. In other words this method SHOULD bring about maintained mental and physical SELF CONTROL despite. Like everything else though, it is a method of recovery only accessible “with time and patience”. I am engaging with my OCD via NOCD therapy in hopes that one day soon we can work together to continue finding more time-saving solutions to mental quagmires such as OCD and far more. *sigh* 2 sessions in and Today I Honestly. . . wish I had enough control of myself already! This seems to be the start of a long arduous ‘couples therapy’-like process with my partner and this very friendly brain mechanic, that doesn’t necessarily appear to have a definitive end. *sigh* Oh my f*#%ing God! Here we f*#%ing gooooooo!!!

Hi. I have been grateful and patient for a long time but I had to call off because I can’t even stand going in. Would like to hear anyone’s experience.

Can somebody relate to these terrifying and reality-shattering doubts? Today I went through a very bad ocd episode after reading a triggering comment. It felt like we don't actually have innate morals, that there is nothing separating me from being a monster. I started spiraling into disturbing questions and I got scared a lot. "If you try to like it maybe you could like it". I was so scared how easily I could see myself becoming a **** who's attracted to that horrible stuff. I was too terrified about the fact that maybe I could start being attracted to that stuff in my head, and that scenario happened TOO easily. I'm not attracted by that stuff, it makes me throw up and cry, but in my head it felt so terrifyingly easy to become a deplorable monster like all those abusers in the world, this parallel reality felt so real and easy. Like all the **** on Hollywood must have become like that because they were exposed to it and they learned to like that perversion right? They're all in it. I got triggered very badly about that scenario, that if I got exposed to it I could start to like it. That my brain could adapt itself to liking it. I don't know how to explain it, I don't even know if you guys can relate to this terrible feeling. It felt in my head like there is a very thin wall separating me from being like a ****, that there is very fragile wall for me, that if I were to be exposed to that stuff that I could actually enjoy that horrible stuff. It's a reality that terrifies me, and in my head this scenario happened too easily, like I'm destined to it or I'm in denial, like "it's a matter of time", and once I try to check if I like it I could actually like it. Like I always avoid little girls, and everytime I notice them I always get triggered and feel distress, but I tried to accept the distress and move on, thinking that it was ocd making feel like I was falsely-attracted, and that I was actually only triggered and nothing else - I never went beyond that - but what if I put it in my mind to accept that I actually liked what I saw? How easy would it be to realise that maybe I was actually attracted and in denial? Or maybe if I crossed the veil of OCD I could discover a horrible truth that I never wanted to know? It's the distress that's making me feel sane, but if I went beyond that? If I tried to experiment the liking would I actually become what I fear the most? Just like that, easily? I'll never cross that veil, because I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. But the fact that maybe under it lies an uncomfortable truth will always keep me in uncertainty and unclear about my identity. Of course I would never look up that stuff, I would kill myself, but my head conjured me that I could like it, that it's like something sleeping that it's just waiting to be woke up. I can't tolerate it at all. Those horrible people in Hollywood, they discovered that they liked it after being exposed to it, what if I'm just like them? I could go live all my life just like now, without knowing, but what if in their same scenarion I would have been one of those person that could have like it just like them? I also suddenly got remembered again about that traumatic memory of that person sending an illegal gif out of nowhere, and it was accompanied by this disturbing thought "maybe you could like it". I also had another triggering episode, I was on instagram and a trigger appeared, and I start checking it repeatedly. I was afraid that because I noticed the trigger I was attracted by it so I was trying to find an answer. I need answers, not reassurance, I need to know if you guys experience this too.

I am at my witts end with struggling with this. I can't talk to my partner because they don't seem to understand what I'm going through. Not sure how to tell them they are triggering me when they talk about certain things that make the OCD rise in me. Life has been incredibly stressful. I'm ready to give up on everything.

do you guys often confuse being triggered with actually being attracted. I struggle with this a lot.