Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I feel like me and my best friend and ending for many reasons but when I talk to her about it she says it’s really all in my head and she doesn’t feel it at all. What is going on??

I don’t know if there is a light at the end of the tunnel anymore this feels so real I get headaches all the time and the thoughts are like if you come out it will go away and life will be back how if used to be i hate hate hate this just had enough I miss having attraction to women and it feeling natural and not a checking ritual this is hell and I just don’t know what to do I am so down every day with this I just don’t understand why this has happened to me I feel cursed it been 4 years now I never felt like this or had any thoughts like this as a kid or a teen this all started when I was in a toxic relationship with my ex girl friend and some one on a night shift said I can see why gay guys are happy they don’t have women in their life and bang ‼️ it started a thought out of no where saying I am gay on loop it been that way ever since I just want to be at peace it don’t help when I hear sexuality is fluid or on a spectrum that is very triggering for me and it don’t help that I have Aspergers as well which only magnifies this whole thing times a million I just feel so lost and have no idea what to do just want to be like I used be I feel like I have a massive chunk of my life robbed from me I feel so alone I have no problem with gay people at all you what you like I guess but me and don’t want to be like that I want to be with a women but my mind is like no you don’t it’s torturing this is can anybody help PLEASE !!

As soon as I wake up in the morning all I have in my head are these thoughts and it gives me an awful pit in my stomach. My brain tells me ‘you love someone else that you used to speak to’ ‘you want to be with them and not your partner’ the quotes go on. I love my current partner and I want these thoughts gone. I have had enough.

Hi! I am posting this NOT to give reassurance but more to give hope and help in people’s recovery. I have had really bad SOCD since I was 14 I’m 29 now and started experiencing false attraction for the first time which sent me spiraling and it was VERY debilitating and confusing. I can now say it’s been two months since I experienced it and I feel I have conquered this aspect of OCD and am no longer experiencing it. Now let me say that these feelings did not just “go away” but I put in the work. I sat with the ick, I didn’t overanalyze, I recognized it for what it was and let it go. Easier said than done I KNOW. Is it possible I will experience it again? Maybe. But if I do I know I can face it and overcome it once again. So yeah just wanted to share my recovery with you all and let you know it can and will happen for you too ☺️❤️

ive had harm type for years. it’s focused around my mom and if i want to hurt her and i spiral and it’s terrifying. sometimes i get scared that im insane and that i don’t actually have ocd, ect. my compulsions are usually going on my phone (what im doing now, i know, im trying) to distract myself or i try to comfort myself almost like reassuring. does anyone else struggle with this? I just need to know im not alone.

I’ve been feeling depressed lately, because I’ve gone down a rabbit hole thinking about how it seems like everything is connected or underpinned by something unjust or inhumane. For example, the clothes we wear may have been made by people in unsafe working conditions, the animals we eat may have suffered in cages, the child actors from the shows we watch aren’t always protected and taken care of, and the materials from our phones were produced by oppressed children in the Congo. It just seems like there is something wrong with everything and it’s hard for me to see the good. I feel complicit in these unjust systems. I see people saying “boycott this” and “boycott that”, because money talks. But honestly I don’t want to boycott certain things. Nor do I want to become vegan. Then I feel guilty, like this makes me a bad person. It feels so hard to be a good person in this world. It feels impossible to be a good follower of Christ. Like what’s the point? How do you find joy when there is so much wrong with everything? Almost everything I love has lost its joy and the things I used to like doing, reading and writing and film, now feel wrong. I’ve become obsessed with being moral and it’s making me miserable.

Try to stay off of social media and the internet? I don’t want my OCD to get worse or attached to something new so I don’t have any social media and limit my internet access. I know this is a compulsion but I think it’s also self care…. Maybe. 🤔

Hey guys I get songs stuck in but since a few days ago I’ve had this static sound stuck in my head. It’s so annoying I feel like I have schizophrenia🤦🏻‍♀️ and my ocd is just running with it.

I have been doing really really well for the past year ish. Of course I have some bad days or weeks but overall I feel almost back to pre diagnosis. I have recently gotten in the most incredible relationship I could have never even dreamed of. This has caused my real event ocd to flair up. He often talks about hurting people who have hurt children which as you can imagine triggers my real event. I believe my ex left me bc I told him about my real event bc my non ocd therapist told me I had to while she also told me how horrible I was. I can’t decide if I have to tell my current boyfriend how horrible of a human I am to give him the chance to also dumb me despite the fact that I am not who I was at 6/7 years old… what do I do 😭

Do any of you ladies struggle with wearing bras? Lately I can not stand the feeling of wearing bras. I get so uncomfortable even in most sports bras that obsess and stress myself out so badly. There has to be some bra out there that is just soft and comfy enough so it doesn’t drive me insane. Anyone else experience this? And any bra recommendations?

it feels like i actually want to kill people. i know i don’t but it feels like i do. it’s like when i first got this theme i knew it wasn’t real but now i don’t know anymore. i don’t want to kill people, especially my family. i would never do that ever. but the urges and thoughts feel different now. even my reaction feels different. i feel like morals changed, i feel like a monster. i want to cry so bad.

I know I shouldn't, but someone please tell me I'm not a monster bc of an image. It's making me cry. I can't believe this. I feel like I've lost my whole person. Can anyone relate? I'm not me anymore.... and I want it back so bad!!

I was in the bathroom and I noticed a big blister like bump down there and now I'm just more worried than I already have been about my health for months now. It just came up there out of nowhere and all I've been trying to do is keep myself clean ever since my impulsive behavior from my addiction. I'm really worried and I don't know what's going on. Now I have a hideous bump there and never in my life have I ever had something like this.

Does anyone else’s rocd try to convince them that they have feelings for someone else when really you just love your partner? I hate when my ocd does this.

I’ve been with my partner since November of 2022. In the beginning, we had great times together and I can still say that I truly care about him. However, my feelings for him started to decline a few months after we were dating but I was scared to cut things off because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. With my harm OCD, I would have intrusive thoughts about him, but I know deep inside that I really do care for him, but I’m not sure if I’m in love with him. I’m now trying to figure out if it’s my OCD that’s making me want to break up with him to stop having these intrusive thoughts, or if I genuinely want to. Has anybody else gone through this? Some advice would help!

Does anyone else struggle with normal everyday things like going downstairs to get food? I’m really hungry right now but don’t like being downstairs or in my kitchen because I’m scared of being contaminated I live with my parents and siblings still so there’s so many people and I feel contaminated being in contact with them or having to touch door handles /cupboards and food in the fridge Because I find it really hard to leave my room sometimes because of how alert and aware I constantly feel like I have to be because I’m worried of things contaminating me And people in my house don’t really understand and aren’t aware of me and not coming into contact with me My room is my safe space and I don’t like people coming in here because it feels contaminated if they do but they just don’t get it It just takes a lot of my energy to be doing normal things If anyone has tips or similar experiences please share so I know it’s not just me 💕

Does any get rejection thoughts about God & Jesus? My current theme is doubting them and I love God & Jesus so much! Yesterday I had a thought about “I reject ___” and it scared me so bad and hurt my heart so much! I’ve had that thought before and was able to move forward and i believe I was forgiven but I feel like my OCD is now trying to latch onto this theme. Any advice? Has anyone had those thoughts to?

What are some examples of mental compulsions and how can you identify them in yourself? I am struggling with what counts as a mental compulsion since it’s not as black and white as a physical one.

But nobody even replies on your posts

I really hate this trend of people going "my intrusive thoughts won" in reference of something that is not a intrusive thought...at all. This whole trend of people conflating intrusive thoughts with impulsive ones is exhausting because when these same people actually hear about the types of intrusive thoughts that people with OCD have they paint them as some sort of monster when the whole basis of OCD for most people is the anxiety of being the opposite of what your morals and beliefs are! This trend definitely adds more to the stigma, everyone is always pro mental health and want better for the mentally ill until the mentally ill actually show symptoms