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I wonder what it’s like to think normally. I wonder what it’s like to not think so deeply and obsessively over something. I wonder what it’s like to not think so negatively about something you don’t even want to. I wonder what it’s like to not have anxiety over the littlest things

I need some advice. Now since we all know about ERP please don’t provide reassurance or anything like that. I find that one of the things I struggle with the most is fear of my loved ones finding out I have OCD specifically POCD. If any of you have POCD & experienced this please let me know how you deal with this. It’s not so bad that I can’t move on with my day to day life whenever I get a thought I simply move on , but my mind instantly jumps to them finding out whenever I think someone is mad at me or something. Sorry for the long vent lol!!! Goodnight 💞

So I study film in high school and decided to make a film for my class on awarness on ocd and it's informative and covers many subtypes, mostly taboo thoughts. I covered probably every taboo subtype you can imagine on there, one of them being pocd. There's a part when I set examples of intrusive thoughts that feel more like urges and commands and I put an example saying "I'm going to grope the first child that walks past me". I got reported by a student to the counselors of my school and the counselors called me in not only for my safety but the safety of others. They said that they wanted to know if I was ok and then they wanted my therapist's information to make sure I would be ok after graduation. I gladly gave them her info knowing that this was for my own good and to inform them on ocd's scary reality. I got a call from my therapist last night telling me that the counselors shared my script with her and they were considering removing me from being of reach of children in my internship which is also my job. This is a huge deal for me not only because that job is my only form of income that I've been using to support my family but because I plan on majoring in education and becoming a teacher and have been working with children for years and I want to be a good teacher. This could literally run the risk of me being reported to the police and could open up a criminal record, possibly preventing me from moving forward in my career in child caretaking and education. I'm reasonably freaking out and she tells me that they will talk to me in the morning at school so I out of fear of losing my job and fucking future get to the main office to speak to them. I had made a gc with people that ik that have ocd that will be in my film and told them that I had been reported and needed back up and one offered to go with me to the office. When we get there the counselors tell us that I'm the only one allowed and speak to me in private. I'm angry and horrified bc they literally believed me on Monday when we met and then go behind my back to tell my therapist that I'm not supposed to be around kids bc I'm dangerous for sharing an informative example of pocd. Above all of this, in the script I never stated what MY obsessions were so they were the ones assuming that I had pocd of all the subtypes that I had mentioned. That was when they told me that my therapist had seen the example on pocd and told them that the fact I'm around children in a situation that can be triggering is BAD FOR ME EVEN THOUGH IT'S AN EXPOSURE AND HAS HELPED ME AND SHE WAS THE ONE THAT TOLD THEM TO GET ME AWAY FROM KIDS. She therefore implied to them that I have pocd WITHOUT my consent and this made the school remove me from my internship at my job. I go to get paid outside of school hours but for the time I'm in school I'm not allowed to be there bc my therapist shared information that I never gave them permission to share AND must think that all the exposures mean nothing bc they're too "triggering" for me and it can "make me suffer more". I met up during lunch with my film cast with ocd and they listened to most of it before I could finish but they kept telling me to report her to the medical board and to the conpany she works for because she broke confidentiality. How do I go about this?

Hi friends, feeling (very) sad recently. I had a flare up recently and going through it is just really tough. I was in a decent place prior and I’ve lost my footing because of some stress amongst other things. But I guess I’m just looking for some encouragement, I’ve been feeling a little discouraged since the intrusive thoughts are a little more often. I know it’ll get better but it’s just been tough. Send love ❤️‍🩹

Every day I make the choice to face OCD. It tries to bully me and sometimes it wins, but for the most part I bully it now (lol). I stand up to it by LIVING! I stand up to it by doing exposures that sometimes can feel so wrong and irresponsible. I stand up to it by not allowing myself to get stuck in rumination but yet refocusing on something I actually want to do. I stand up to it by saying I don’t know and just embracing the uncertainty that what I fear just may come true. I stand up to it by sharing what I’ve been dealing with in hopes that it will help someone to know that sometimes you need therapy and Jesus! Some days are easier than others and I truly have to remind myself that recovery isn’t linear. Life ebbs and flows and so does this journey. I am learning to sit with the anxiety until my body naturally calms down. I still go about my life as usual not letting anything stop me. I face things that surround the themes I deal with in real time. Uncertainty isn’t comfortable and I’m still learning how to accept it. Im still learning how to accept these random thoughts that go against who I am while also understanding they don’t define who I am nor are they true. I’m a believer in God and this is truly a process of renewing my mind. For 35 years I had no clue that OCD was there. I just found out last February because things had got so dark for me. But I can look back now and see signs of it starting around 2014 and probably even earlier. I’m claiming that I am already healed in the land of the living. What that looks like, I have no clue. That’s up to God. But I’m trusting the process and I will continue to thrive. Even on days that feel rough, I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. My prayer is that we all see breakthroughs as we continue to go through ERP. I’m so thankful for NOCD and that there are tools to help us navigate our way through this. Despite the lies of OCD, there is light at the end of the tunnel! Stay encouraged. We got this!

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭

What do OCD and eating disorders have in common? More than you might think. While these health conditions are distinct, they can overlap in many ways, with one of the most significant being that both can involve disordered behaviors around food. Disordered eating, whether it stems from OCD or an eating disorder, can impact one's relationship with food, their body image, and in many cases, their health, making it important to spot the red flags of this behavior. Given that the last week of February is Eating Disorders Awareness Week, it’s an especially relevant time to shed light on the nuances of disordered eating, how OCD can fuel it, and what to do next if you think you might be struggling with it. Learn more about how OCD can fuel disordered eating from guest writer Jackie Shapin, LMFT.

Omg I can’t believe how serious ocd is, I was diagnosed back in the beginning of February and I’ve been trying cymbalta and it’s made my suicidal ocd flare up yesterday was really bad and then I was watching the movie inception and it triggered my existential ocd where now I feel like I’m living inside a dream and that this is all me being asleep, the anxiety is bad and I’ve tried everything, I don’t know what to do with this one, I was having a better day then yesterday and boom triggered and now I’m ruminating and compulsion, I don’t know how to help myself, anyone have advice please!?

hi ya'll so yesterday I decided to read my bible in the morning before work, "which i never do"! I opened up to Matthew 12: 22. it talk about blasphemy against the holy spirit! man all of a sudden in my head I heard f-god! and were off to the races!! I went down a shame rabbit hole that is still bothering me! thoughts that I'm going to hell that god is angry with me! so I jumped on you tube to get some relief! I found all kinds of videos on this and did help but I'm hard headed and still feel some anxiety around this! can anyone relate? i know god love me and that this is ocd/the devil but still hurts a bit...

I wish I wasn't so paranoid. I hate when I give in to my fears whenever I'm about to eat something just to end up avoiding it instead. There are some moments where I eat confident and ignore the intrusive thoughts, but most of the time it's spent in agony. My relationship with food has completely changed. It's gotten to a point where when I do get myself to eat something I cant help but pick at my food and spit it out if I feel something that doesn't "feel right". I can't keep being babied anymore and I know it's up to me to put an end to this new fear, but I'm so scared. This is so exhausting I hate living like this everyday.

I been always have depression since a kid growing up I used to mask it and it was one time my brain believed and I overcame depression but it keep coming back through the years don’t matter how positive I think or what I do my husband of 10 years told me last night I always been negative and depressed he never seen me happy and it broke my heart because I m really trying to fight this and is so hard no to listen to my negative thoughts :( I blame my self for no being strong enough to fight this I feel sad that my husband see this negative person I m scared I won’t overcome this is making me cry

I just broke up with my boyfriend because I've been scared and paranoid of him cheating on me for a week, my mind keeps telling me that's just an excuse and that I don't want to be with him because I'm gay and I want a girlfriend which I don't, I don't want that, I don't want to be w a girl and I'm not gay but this is so convincing, somehow my feelings for my boyfriend don't exist anymore and it's as if I feel repulsed by him.. as if I don't like him or any other man anymore:(

I just want to rot in bed. My crush told me he likes someone else yesterday. I made sure to be supportive and cheer him on because I care about him. But it hurts. I dont even want to talk to him anymore. I wish we never met. I'm dreading going to my job. I'm not good at it. I know im not good at it. My coworkers had a meeting with me just to tell me how bad I am at it. I'm trying so, so hard. It hurts to love your job and have everyone be upset with you over it when you're doing your best. I'm laying in bed anxious. I'm depressed. I have to go to work later. I dont know how I'm going to fake it.

I felt like I was doing ok (not great) in my OCD recovery, putting in the work and noticing some progress. But after this most recent set back I just feel so beat down and honestly feels so hard to keep doing recovery work. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, I hate this, I hate mental health, I just want to be and feel normal. This past year that should be the best times of my life has been literally the absolute worst with no end in sight. I don’t understand how OCD has taken over my brain, not only in thoughts but heavy on the emotions/feelings side which is the worst.

I lately noticed that when I'm feeling anxious, I start telling myself: "Let the thoughts be there, just concentrate on what you're doing, do nothing to make it go away". The problem is that I keep repeating this dialogue in my mind, and I'm checking if I'm still very anxious or not. I think it's a compulsion but... how do I stop it? I get lost in the process 😵‍💫

Hello me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year and I’m very scared because I’ve had intrusive thoughts abt leaving him for another. This is very much against my moral compass and I’ve been avoiding male friends because of it. It stemmed from hlm not being able to comfort me as well as certain friends, but I’ve abstained from telling my friends my problems cuz of this I feel terrible and want to hurt myself. I hate these thoughts. I just want to feel safe and happy.

I’m so scared I don’t even know if this is OCD at this point. I keep having horrible intrusive thoughts on acting upon my worst fear and the feelings and thoughts are so strong and intense I’m genuinely convinced I might lose control and do something horrible. It feels to real and it’s so constant that I don’t trust myself at all. There are times where it even feels relieving to think about doing something horrible even though it’s the opposite of what I want so feeling like that is so confusing and it’s convincing me I’ve become my worst fear. I’ve been trying everything to avoid anything that brings these thoughts and feelings up because I’m just so scared I’m going to snap and do something horrible. I have therapy soon and I’m really glad about that but I’m scared to tell this to my therapist because I don’t know what’s going to happen. I just need to know I’m not the only one who experiences this because I feel like I’ve just gone crazy at this point. I’m so scared that this isn’t OCD.

Hi everyone! I really do not mean to seem complaining or strange, or to be a burden, and I really hope my message will not be innappropiate in any way! I am a christian and for a few years/months I have been feeling extremely lonely.. Other than struggling with OCD, I also am struggling with other things that I am a bit afraid to talk about here 🙏🏻 I feel like some people ( in church) are willing to help me, maybe! but they may be unable because they do not know what OCD or some other things are like.. sometimes I am afraid to talk about them... it makes me feel a bit alone I am sorry if this might be a strange or confusing message.. 🙏🏻

i can’t understand how other people don’t constantly think about death. like, it’s final. it’s unavoidable. it’s just the end. no more me. i’m going to die someday and it’s so scary it makes me physically sick. i can’t eat or sleep or leave my house or go a single minute without thinking about it. i can’t even describe the anxiety it causes. my other obsessions don’t even affect me anymore. death is real. that’s the one thing in life that is guaranteed. it’s going to happen. why doesn’t this freak everyone else out?? i’m trying to do exposures for myself. just writing these things down. it’s so difficult. if any one has any easier exposures, please let me know. i’m started Paxil tomorrow and i’m hoping it helps with the anxiety so it’ll be easier to do the exposures but i can’t function at all anymore. i always told myself id never make a post on here but i really need help

Hi I’m new to talking about my ocd, since I never knew what I had, I always thought I was crazy till I found out was ocd was and started doing research. Im glad I am not alone. I’m looking in doing some therapy soon, I was just wondering if anyone had any advice or tips on how they try to work on their ocd on their day to day, I struggle with intrusive thoughts, compulsions and contamination.