Please I'm tired

I just broke up with my boyfriend because I've been scared and paranoid of him cheating on me for a week, my mind keeps telling me that's just an excuse and that I don't want to be with him because I'm gay and I want a girlfriend which I don't, I don't want that, I don't want to be w a girl and I'm not gay but this is so convincing, somehow my feelings for my boyfriend don't exist anymore and it's as if I feel repulsed by him.. as if I don't like him or any other man anymore:(

Username: AndreadiAndreadi

Date posted: 45w ago

I can relate. My therapist suggested it could be the other way around: hocd worsens when you don’t trust your bf, to protect yourself. like “oh idk if he’s cheating, i’m gay anyway” (I’m not sure i agree with that theory bc i’m convinced i’m gay but maybe something to think abt!🤷‍♀️) Sending strength!

Username: pengunaranja pengunaranja

Date posted: 45w ago

It has sometimes appeared to me like "I don't care of him cheating on my because I'm he gay" or something like "He doesn't know I'm gay" or "I feel bad for dating him while I am gay" :( I hate those thoughts because they feel as if they were mine

Username: AndreadiAndreadi

Date posted: 45w ago

@pengunaranja I totally get it. Or “just bc you’re possessive doesn’t mean you really love him”… I’m sorry to hear abt your break up tho, are you feeling better or no ?

Username: My OCD AcademiaMy OCD Academia

Date posted: 45w ago

I can relate in the sense of the whole “excuse” thing that OCD loves to try and trick us with. When I was with my ex girlfriend at the time, I had really bad habits unrelated to OCD but my brain would say I was only trying to get rid of her because I was gay. Fun fact, i’m not gay and I spent a good portion of months bawling my eyes out because I missed her like crazy after we broke up.

Username: pengunaranja pengunaranja

Date posted: 45w ago

I see:( hope u are doing better, also, I didn't knew that "excuse" was part of ocd, good thing to know, I want to get back with him but this is making me think and feel as if I'm gay and i don't want to be with him:(

Username: My OCD AcademiaMy OCD Academia

Date posted: 45w ago

@pengunaranja OCD LOVES to make you feel as if you’re lying to yourself. It will make you second guess every move you make, every decision you make. As long as you can fear it, OCD will stick to it. I am better now, I still think of her a lot and I will love her always. I haven’t moved on but I am lucky to have been loved by someone as beautiful as her. Also, remember that even if I didn’t relate to this, that wouldn’t have meant you’re gay. It’s nice to know we are not alone but OCD is different for everyone.

Username: pengunaranja pengunaranja

Date posted: 45w ago

@My OCD Academia You are so nice:( tysm!! Really, hope good things come to your life;)

Username: ninkaninga

Date posted: 24w ago

i dont believe i have ocd

I just need to vent. I feel hopeless. When i think about guys i feel anxiety. That’s why im scared that I’m actually experiencing comphet. I dont feel anything for guys. But i also do not want to do anything with girls. But i do get thoughts that im gay. It feels real. It makes me so sad that i feel like this. It feels like i should accept my true identity. I cant anymore. Why does it feel like i know im gay and i just have to come out and admit that I’m gay? 😔 i think no one feels like this. I want to cry. I feel empty.

Username: WaxemJord

Date posted: 23w ago

SOOCD is ruining my life I need advice

my brain keeps on trying to convince me I’m gay. Why do I care so much?? I’ve been sure of who I am for all my life, but ever since that thought that I could be something else appeared in my head. It’s ruined me completely, I’ve lost attraction to my preferred gender and overthink everything when talking to the same gender. I know pick about everything I’m feeling and ruminate on the past for evidence. I’ve always saw myself being with a man and having kids with a man. But now I guess my ocd (maybe it’s just denial idk) Is telling me I never wanted that and it was society or whatever. It makes me extremely uncomfy and very anxious. When I think about being gay that doesn’t feel right neither does being straight anymore since this theme. I just want to be normal again I hate this. I feel like I’ll never be in a relationship again ever because of this.

Username: toey

Date posted: 19w ago

Help rocd/hocd

It feels like my boyfriend is ‘another compulsion” because he makes me happy and that is what ocd does, but when he is gone, my mind can go everywhere. Mostly thinking im not attracted to men (im bi and for some reason i feel like i have to choose 1 gender, and that that would be women) even though i know that i dont have to choose and can just be happy with my bf. But then my mind can go “but are you happy” or “youre not aroused right now or aroused enough so your gay or you dont like bf” Thats really hard, because my one of my biggest fears is being with a man all my life (having a family etc) and then falling in love with a woman and throw it all away. I really really love my boyfriend, but it can feel like this is not my real identity and im doing the wrong thing. Like when im not thinking about it, if thats maybe my ocd and not the overthinking. Does anyone understand?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Please I'm tired

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community