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Because of years of scrupulous OCD the very idea of religious services and activities brings up apprehension and stress. How can I rewire my brain to learn to enjoy these things?

How can i know that im not actually faking my attraction to hide my denial and hiding my real attraction like its so scary and confusing

especially since ive recovered a lot from my bad episode of like religious “ocd” (im nto diagnosed) i feel like idk a part of me just wants my ocd compulsions back like i enjoyed all the control i had in my life and like i sort of liked how ill i was and thats so wrong to say but i dont know how to get rid of this feeling because ive had it for months atp

This isnt really OCD related but rather just a vent post. I wanted to leave my feelings somewhere so feel free to ignore this. I feel like im going to die at this point, since i can remember ive been dealing with thisbfeeling of alienation and loneliness (yknow, the autistic experience) vut i dont know how longer i can keep up with it. I feel like ive failed at the most basic things that make a human being, making friends, having a job, studying, romance. I see everyone around me reach greater heights while i am stuck in one place and i feel like im going to rot in the spot. I only have two friends, one of them is away in another state preparing to be a priest and we can go for months without talking and still act so close, but im afraid hes ultimately going to leave. My other friend, my best friend for 7/8 years is also drifting away this very moment, she's in her last year of uni and will grafuate as a technician, she has a wonderful boyfriend and friends who lives overseas and she has plans to leave the country in some future. Im obviously beyond happy for them and what theyre achieving but i cant keep acting like im not rotting with envy, they have so much going on for themselves and so many people around them i feel like at any moment i will no longer be part of their lives and theyre going to be okay with it. I cant keep acting like that wouldnt kill me inside, i love seeing them succed but i hate knowing that im such a failure in just doomed to fall behind and just watch as everyone moves on. Its always been like this with every friendship ive had and at this point i dont know how longer am i willing to take it, this crippling feeling is something you never get used to, it always hurt the same and living out of resignation is horrible. i dont want to live a life repeating this painful meaningless cycle.

Im an athletic guy and a couple years ago i had a very badly broken ankle. An open fracture. I eventually had to have it fused. So i will never be able to run for fun again or do some other sports i love. And its all i think about. Its hard for me to focus on anything because im obsessed with the mistake i made that caused the injury. I was drinking. I feel very depressed because sports mean a lot to me. I feel like a completely different person. Im lost. Maybe i should take medication, idk. Not too thrilled with side effects of them. Anyone have thoughts on what i should do?

Almost 3 years ago, before my recent OCD flare up, I finally fell in love with running. After years of training for a 5k here and there and hating the whole process it finally stuck, and I LOVED it. Then I started getting some symptoms. Heartburn when I ran. Muscle strains, etc. I was sort of diagnosed with GERD but the doctor never actually did any tests. Fast forward to now, and I’ve healed my GERD, but I haven’t managed to start running again. And quite honestly, it terrifies me. I’ve been to hell and back with OCD since last summer. Thinking I had a breast lump to colon cancer to gallbladder cancer. And I occasionally have this pain/discomfort in my right rib area that now has all my attention. I went to the doctor, had a ton of blood work and tests done, all coming back fine. And the doctor then said “if you’re still having pain, I can schedule a CT, it’s up to you.” Which of course with OCD is the worst. It’s almost like I don’t know if what I’m feeling is even real? Is it normal body noise? It does seem to disappear when I’m distracted…makes me feel like a complete crazy person! Anyway, I was having a chat with a friend and she’s training for her first marathon. We started talking about races and I’ve always wanted to do a triathlon and without realizing it, we both started planning on doing a beginners one together. I’m so so worried that the “pain” I’ve been fixated on will get worse, I’ll start training and have to stop. I just don’t know what to do. I miss running so so much and think that training for something could be so good for me but on the other hand, some days the slightest discomfort in my right side sends me into a panic. I just don’t know what to do 😭 thank you if you’ve read this far.

Everything is triggering my ocd thoughts right now. It started very quickly the other day. I’ve tried all the relaxation techniques and little therapy techniques. I don’t know how to get out of it. Anyone know how to make them stop. Or like how long this anxiety and stuff is gonna last for

I have to go to church tomorrow and I just feel so embarrassed to even step foot in there. My OCD is really based off of religion, and when I walk into a church or see a religious word or name I freak out. I feel like ik disrespecting God because of these thoughts I'm having. Any tips on how to cope with this?

I would love to hear if anybody has experience or help regarding this this :) I was once having this OCD thought and I was carrying out my compulsions, all of a sudden I felt like I had just gone out of touch and like I had just completely shut off and disconnected mentally and emotionally, I felt my stress levels drop but not in a comforting way. I have been reading that depersonalisation come as a result of intense stress. This particular thought that I am speaking about is my worst yet, it brings me so much stress, could this be depersonalisation? Ever-since then I’ve felt like I’m not me, everything that once seemed familiar wasn’t anymore (not in a dramatic way) but I feel like I’m so disconnected, that’s the best word I could use since the feeling is very distant and weird. How do I get out of this? I feel like the only time I feel remotely connected and present is when I think of that time when I was having the thought and I shut off, it’s almost like I’m mentally still in that moment. Please share any help or tips if you have experienced this before or have knowledge about it :)

im scared that im a psyhopath and that im just pretending to be a nice person and i that i dont have empathy im so scared omg

People who have gone through harm ocd/suicidal ocd is possible for one day not to think about it? I just want one day of not being scared and not thinking about it, I just want to feel normal

This is a new thing for me…having a name for the thoughts and feelings I have. As a Christian, having religious OCD is terrifying. I want my faith so badly but I constantly fear “doing it wrong” or upsetting God. Where is my fear coming from? Is my fear evil? What if my doubt is evil? Ugh. Tiring.

Is this normal??? I can’t handle it… makes me so sad i want to cry.. and then i definetly feel my sucidal thoughts are true??

Throughout my life really at this point… I’ve suffered from intrusive thoughts regarding attraction to the same gender… Often these intrusive thoughts target people I know and I get hung up on the question of, “What if I’m attracted to this person?” I then constantly “check” to see if I’m genuinely attracted to said person and each time I do check very rarely am I met with reassurance but a strong feeling of anxiety. It’s happened only a handful of times, but it just terrifies me to think that we have no choice over who we find attractive.

Hey everybody! My name’s Tori :) I pop on & off of here every few months. Well, here goes. Since I was younger, my mom & dad offered comfort, but I always pushed it away. Especially my dad. He was a therapist & I deeply resented therapy for the longest. I used to think it was stupid, the concept of “cry it out”. Like, the heck?? That doesn’t solve the problem. Until one day, on a movie, I saw the power of just accepting that some days are just hard. No matter how you try to fix it, you can’t, & it hit home for me. Suddenly, I noticed myself craving that “just hold me while I cry” type comfort a LOT. & then eventually, all the time. But mostly at the time from a male-significant other. Less so from my dad. Well, almost 9 years later, here I am with that same craving for comfort. Just, a LOT more prominent & hindering. To the point that it can be almost annoying the way I fiend for it. Sometimes I crave it from a sister figure (I am an only child which was recasting for me as a kid) but most times, I crave it from either a male figure or a male significant other. The WEIRD thing though, is that, after a person has been with me in that vulnerable state enough, I crave it from someone else. Normally men. Like I said. It’s really shameful & embarrassing for me, but since this is an anonymous peer community, I just wanted to come on here & see if literally anyone related & if so, what started this in your life/what do you do about it? It’s a big hindrance in my friendships, but especially my mentorships that involve almost like, older-brother-ish figures. Sometimes I am good at hiding it or it doesn’t pop up as much. But last night seeing my “brother figure” hug my friend & say nothing as she cried, made me feel DESPERATE for the same comfort, even if it wasn’t obviously visible. It’s like it hit a nerve in some way. He’s an attractive guy, but not my type at all & mouth older than me. Suddenly though, I was completely drawn to him. Lotta words, but can someone help me interpret this? Thank y’all so much if you read this far.

Tomorrow I'm going on a trip to a city that is an hour away from my home for my best friend's birthday and her boyfriend's tagging along. I'm excited, there's not much to do where I live and there will be plenty of opportunities where were headed, shopping wise. But for the most part, I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll freak out in front of them, I've been having panic attacks frequently that are brief, and I really don't want to ruin her day. I can't expect for it to not happen, but all I wish is that it'd be brief and that I'll be able to manage it. I don't want to avoid this, it's her big day and it'll just worsen my condition more. Does anyone have any advice?

Hi, I’m hoping someone can help me. I have been having the hardest time trusting my boyfriend because I constantly have dreams of him cheating, and throughout the day I make myself constantly imagining him cheating on me and make myself feel horrible. It’s come to the point where I worry that I am too needy with my reassure and making him actually want to do those things. It all started because I found out he was lying about watching porn, and he knew how I was feeling insecure about myself and thinking he wanted other people. So when I found it I felt like my fears were confirmed. He’s been doing such a good job showing me that he’s a “new man” like he says, but whenever we’re apart I can’t help but picturing him doing horrible things.

I don't know what to do or how to stop this : ( if anyone has advice please, please let me know! It's happening to me that whenever I watch/read TV at night, get into an argument with a loved one, or haven't talked to them for a while I start to have intrusive thoughts/images that they're gonna get fatally hurt. For example, about seven months ago I had a car accident. I don't think I was left necessarily traumatized, but rather every time I have (the previously mentioned) intrusive thoughts I begin to reimagine my loved ones in that same (or similar) situations... and no matter how much I try to NOT acknowledge them...they often lead me to having anxiety or panic attacks. The only way that I seem to be able to stop these intrusive thoughts is by sleeping it off… but then that leaves to lack of productivity throughout the day and affects my life… I try my best to not give in into compulsions…especially because I also have dermatillomania so I KNOW that if I DO give in…it’ll end up bad. I’ve tried writing things down to see if it helps to calm me down. Although that did work for a while, I’ve started to feel/think that if I write my thoughts down they’ll increase possibility of actually happening :( so I’ve stopped doing that for a while now. I don’t know what to do anymore!

so i have anxiety but i dont know why like i just have racing thoughts and i lost all of my motivation for school and now im scared that this is schizophenria or pshyosis omg i had this fesr like 3 weeks ago and it never went away it just wasnt this strong anymore but it got strong again anyone else feels like they have anxiety but dont know why?

Yesterday I was checking the freezer in case a stray kitten might have get stuck inside of it, I did so because the night prior I had fallen asleep while my parents were making food and I feared my snoring might have distracted them while they were picking up something to cook from the freezer not paying attention if a stray kitten entered it. But as I was finished checking I realised I had to wipe water from the melted ice from the freezer because my mom would have noticed it and thought I had rummaged through the freezer and checked it herself, and since she would have opened it because of me, there was a chance once again a kitten could have entered the freezer because of me so I would have to go check it again. I didn't wipe it good enough in my opinion before they got back from work, as I refused to go wipe more water after having spent nearly half an hour checking and wiping, at this point I had wiped from the freezer to the hallway, always thinking I had displaced more water further and further, worrying a single drop would cause her to check the freezer. The process to check the freezer takes a while because I have to hold my tablet to record the entrance of the freezer to see if a kitten has come close all the while removing every item from the freezer and recording inside with my phone, and replacing every item while rotating it to see if a kitten isn't on it, which can take upwards of half and hour each time, not counting the wiping of water afterwards. I feel like crap now cause it's been a day since it happened and I forced myself bot to go check the freezer again but now since I felt a tiny bit of "pleasure" not wiping what I thought would be a tiny drop of water before my parents came back home, I feel depressed and can't enjoy my hobbies which feel corrupted now... It's hard to explain...