Untrusting

Hi, I’m hoping someone can help me. I have been having the hardest time trusting my boyfriend because I constantly have dreams of him cheating, and throughout the day I make myself constantly imagining him cheating on me and make myself feel horrible. It’s come to the point where I worry that I am too needy with my reassure and making him actually want to do those things. It all started because I found out he was lying about watching porn, and he knew how I was feeling insecure about myself and thinking he wanted other people. So when I found it I felt like my fears were confirmed. He’s been doing such a good job showing me that he’s a “new man” like he says, but whenever we’re apart I can’t help but picturing him doing horrible things.

Username: SpookyKiwiSpookyKiwi

Date posted: 46w ago

Hey! I have the same issue, except the obsession is that he has some mean or ill intent towards me, or is controlling. This fear comes from a previous very abusive and unsafe relationship. I'm constantly analyzing what he says to me, tone of voice etc.... I also have dreams about this! Though he has never been mean, controlling or anything my brains telling me. As for your obsession and worry, I have also had this in the past. I think a good thing to remind yourself is as long as he shows he is faithful to you, and is doing his best to help you through this, and is gentle with you it'll be okay. These obsessions are from fears and insecurities, atleast that is what I noticed and know. Try to let the worries flow through your head as best as you can, and avoid asking for reassurance, its hard, very hard, but you will start to feel better if you sit with the worries, the more you feed it the more it grows

Username: Anonymous243Anonymous243

Date posted: 46w ago

@SpookyKiwi Totally agree with your advice on this!❤️

Username: leila04leila04

Date posted: 46w ago

@SpookyKiwi I think that too! He’s such a sweet man but I feel always feel like he has ill intent like you said and is lying to my face and laughing at me for believeing him when I have no reason to do so. I know I am insecure, it’s just this made it so much worse. I was pretty secure before this about my appearance but now everytime I look at myself I hate what I see, and worry that he sees the same and that’s why he did what he did

Username: SpookyKiwiSpookyKiwi

Date posted: 46w ago

@leila04 I completely understand! I'm hope my comment helped in any way. Keep pushing through!🙏🏻

Username: leila04leila04

Date posted: 46w ago

@SpookyKiwi You helped a lot, thank you😊

Username: Anonymous243Anonymous243

Date posted: 46w ago

Oh my god! This same exact experience and situation has happened to me. It first started almost a year ago, and I was doing better but recently another incident happened and things have been really hard. I cant stop asking him totally inappropriate questions about it and about his attraction to me (I just made a post about this yesterday, maybe it or the replies I got on it will be helpful to you,) and it’s been really hard. I’m going through it too, so I’m learning and don’t have much advice except to be honest with him that these are obsessive thoughts you’re having. Try your best not to ask questions that seek reassurance from him but make sure you guys are both in a place (him open to convo, you in a time where you’re not actively anxious or obsessing about it) where you can talk about the issue. I hope things get better for you, you are not alone. ❤️

Username: leila04leila04

Date posted: 46w ago

@m333 Thank you for your reply, it feels better to know other people have gone through similar things. I’m trying to stop asking for reassurance but some days are harder than others. I hope things get better for you too❤️

Username: stxrmads

Date posted: 24w ago

please read

why did I have a dream where I basically cheated on my boyfriend???? what I can remember of the dream was there was some random guy (No one who I know he was just random) and me and him were "testing things" like hanging out and we were kissing and stuff???? and then I went through a grocery registration line and my mom was there and looked at me a certain way when I kissed the guy as to be like "you know you have a boyfriend what the hell" and then after I told the guy "hey maybe we shoukd stop doing this I don't think it will work out" and then I don't remember anything else I kinda woke up feeling super guilty. I don't even know why I had this dream I have never wanted to cheat on my boyfriend or had a desire to be with another man like that why did this happen. what do I do. I feel like in some way I'm being unfaithful by having that dream. even if im.nkt I'm worried the dream may mean something about me or my relationship. please someone give insighf

Username: stxrmads

Date posted: 24w ago

I need to talk about something

content warning: talks of explicit acts and fear of cheating or attraction to another person I had a dream yesterday about breaking up with my boyfriend and now I had a dream I cheated on him. They scared me but I've realized that they don't really mean anything. I only am freaking out again because while I was self pleasuring earlier, I was thinking of my partner and watching him until I had an intrusive thought someone I just saw in a tik tok and that got me there. im so scared because I didn't mean to let my mind slip and I really feel like I need to talk to my partner about this because i feel so guilty and I know something like this would hurt me if the situation was flipped so I don't know what to do. why did I like the thought so much to that point??? how do I convince myself I don't need to tell my partner even though the guilt is setting in and it feels so wrong? I feel ashamed and unfaithful and terrible I hate that this happened how I do know what to do what if it wasn't an intrusive thought and I enjoyed it even though I tried to change my thoughts?

Username: Anonymous243

Date posted: 21w ago

Ruining my relationship someone please help me.

Tw porn and incest My boyfriend used to have a porn addiction and I cant get over the fact that he used to watch incest videos. What if he fantasizes about his family? What if he likes to talk to his family about sexual things? (They make sexual jokes sometimes) What if he is attracted to his family members? What if he wishes that he could have sex with them? He’s telling me none of these things are true and that I need to just trust him but how can I truly believe it when I know what sort of stuff he used to get off to. I feel so sick and I don’t want to ruin my relationship over this but what am I supposed to do? I want to fully trust him but how can I? Someone please help. I just want to understand.

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