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Chatgpt is triggering..

I'm going to put this in its simplest form. Growing up I believed that a 3 year age gap was normal. I saw it for almost the entirety of my childhood, growing up with cousins, and friends, as well as relationships around me in school. I didn't see it as a target, but a boundary. When I was 18, I fancied someone 3 years younger, I had a private fantasy but stopped because I realised it was inappropriate. When I was 19 something similar happened, but because the girl was 16, the age of consent, it felt more normal. But then I was hit with immediate guilt. I've not pursued anybody underage. I've not interacted with anyone inappropriately underage. As a matter of fact, I'm now in my 20s yet I'm stuck on the guilt of my past actions. My dad said that it's normal teenage sexual curiosity, and just because you become by legal definition an adults you're still learning. He said what matters is who I am today. But I cannot let go of that guilt.

I am scared of kissing bugs and the Chagas Disease, I know it's been around but it was something that I personally didn't know. Now that I do it's like bed bugs all over again but way worse. I'm so scared I'm infected, or that I will, or the bugs get worse, or I kill one in accident and I then get infected. So many things that I'm just scared of

Day 7 of being back on medication! It’s so rough… I can’t even remember the last time I felt this way. I started taking it back in 2017 for the first time and it worked. For the years to follow up until now I’ve had my moments where OCD has come back but not as strong and sticky as when now that I wasn’t on medication. Today is day 7 and I am feeling discouraged because I wanted to feel better already and i am till having anxiety attacks, the thoughts are racing and I can’t sleep well. I’m not hungry The reason why I stopped my medication 5 months ago is because I got pregnant but I regret it so much. Please send words of encouragement if you have experienced anything like this and medicine worked again for you. I’m 21 weeks pregnant

So am I'm beginning to understand my anxiety more, I feel like it's becoming harder to understand. I'm not really sure why but I have steps that I'm taking to truly try and get through handling these feelings. Adults only please . . . . . It's made me realize why I watch porn because it's to get away from the anxiety and it's the only time I'm not feeling anxiety but it ends up coming back stronger and I end up feeling worse afterwards. What bothers me even more is when disgusting pedophiles post stuff with fictional child characters in it (People say it's legal because they aren't real and that's just sick to me and it means creeps and monsters can use this and have no consequences) on YouTube and I just happen to be scrolling by videos and boom stupid stuff like that is just there and it feels intense anxiety and pretty much dying on the inside because of nasty shit like that. I just want to be able to control my anxiety and not have it control me anymore. Does any other adults and ONLY ADULTS relate?

Yesterday I was really worried about something that happened about 10 years ago and it was causing me anxiety to the point I was struggling at work. So I texted my mom and asked if I could come talk to her after work but it got to the point it was consuming me to where I just texted her about it because I couldn’t move on with my day. She is usually very good about helping me understand the situation so that I can calm down. However, yesterday once I told her about my worry all she said was ‘Oh well? I’m not judging you’ to which I completely lost it and felt like she was confirming that what I did was bad. She said she doesn’t want to feed the obsession. I know that she is trying not to reassure me but I feel like it’s sent me into a deeper spiral. I have had some bad experiences in the past where I’ve trusted some people with my OCD themes and they back stabbed me and even spread rumors about me. I’ve been able to trust my mom up until this point, but now I can’t even get myself to text her. I don’t want to see her and I have this extreme feeling of anger towards her. I feel like this is finally the thing she’s gonna hate me for. I once heard that on earth we see sin on a spectrum or a scale that some sin is worse then others. However, to God who is looking down, where we see a stack, He can only see the top of the stack so it just looks like red dots to him so all sin is the same to Him. I really struggle with the idea of God, but I feel like I see it the same way, bad is bad regardless of how bad. At least that’s how I see it within myself, not others. So when I do something I perceive as bad it is just bad and makes me bad and to me that is logical. For example, when someone commits murder they are labeled as a bad, awful person, regardless of if they have done 1000 amazing things in their life. Even if they aren’t convicted for 30 years and they completely turn their life around and do amazing things, it does not matter. They still did something bad and people will hunt them down so they can be punished. So why is any other bad thing any different? People say it’s real event OCD and that these things I worry that I’ve done are not a big deal. But, if I’m worried about something that really happened then how can it be irrational? I have never murdered anyone but I feel like I have given that’s they way I feel about any potentially bad thing I’ve done. So when I can’t get reassurance sometimes I feel like it confirms that feeling of bad and makes me spiral more because then I think not only do I see myself this way, but now so does this other person. I know that this is a long post, but can anyone relate? Is reassurance sometimes okay?

I've been watching a lot of mainly political videos recently. It started as trying to get a better understanding of everything going on in the world and how we got here in the first place, but one of the last videos I came across was about certain hateful groups of people that are becoming more active in recent years due to varying factors. The whole video made me so uncomfortable. Rightfully so, I think, even if it was informative. But now I can't stop thinking about how scary it is that humans can be sort of indoctrinated into such hateful mindsets and views... These issues have existed for a long time in the US, but recently, I've noticed that a lot of people are being more vocal about certain discriminatory views they hold and things. Maybe I'm overloading myself with too much information. I don't know. I'm just feeling really unsettled after that video. I can't imagine ever becoming someone like that, but it scares me to think about :(

I want to not be a burden for my partner. I have many friends of the opposite sex, I have not done anything with these friends and everyone knows how devoted I am to my partner. Still, I have these ruminating thoughts that somehow I’ve done something wrong, I’ve somehow cheated and my partner is going to find out and break up with me. I am a flirtatious person, and I think this is where this stems from. This may also stem because one of my male friends is attracted to me, but we’ve made it known we are just friends and he respects my relationship. A casual conversation where I may have verbally said something flirtatious can cause me to spiral for a whole day or days (and I’m working on that, my partner believes that everyone flirts and flirting is natural as long as it doesn’t go past boundaries.) I am so scared to lose my partner (we’ve been together 3 years) due to my constant OCD and obsessive thoughts that I then have to confess to him (he’s never mad and reassures me) and then work to get over it in my own mind. I know that I would not cheat on my partner and he is the one for me, but sometimes it feels like I cannot have friends and be with a partner because I don’t want my partner to ever feel like I’m willing to risk our relationship. It is so hard emotionally, I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings and stop being a friend because I can’t control my own thoughts and emotions. I worry so much about having possibly said something super inappropriate and don’t want my partner to be stuck dealing with me and my emotions. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it for fear of feeling crazy or someone making light of the situation because to some it may seem like something so insignificant but to me it feels like the hardest hurdle to conquer.

Has anyone actually experimented with this? I don’t really have a social media presence, but I do use YouTube a lot to watch videos. I’ve thought about whether restricting my usage of my phone/of the internet in general might help turn me in a better direction. I’ve been in a rut for a couple months. I haven’t ruminated so much during each day in 2 years. It’s gotten pretty bad. But I’m still in therapy and trying to be honest about everything with my therapist.

I really, really need help right now. I don’t have a therapist and I can’t afford one at the moment. I think my OCD has latched onto the theme of consent, and I haven’t been able to stop spiraling for the last day. This feels like it’s either going to end badly or never end at all. A few nights ago, my boyfriend and I were really drunk. He told me he wanted to have sex. In that moment, I felt too drunk to be sure of how I felt. I told him that. He emphasized that he cared a lot about consent (he always has). One of his fears is being falsely accused. He was the one that told me that someone can be too drunk to consent a year-ish ago. My libido has been gone since starting birth control. Before that, I already had very little sex drive because of my OCD, but now it’s fully gone. I used to have a really high sex drive. I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years, and I don’t know what happened. All I know is that we did have sex. My memory isn’t perfect, but I know I enjoyed it. I was giggling at the start, and I think that says more about that night than anything else. I woke up and made sure to tell him that I didn’t regret it. But my OCD has latched onto the idea that if there wasn’t a clear “yes,” and I can’t remember it, then it wasn’t consent. That I felt pressured to please him, which even then that would fully be on me. I know that might sound extreme, but I can’t step out of that thought loop. Last night, I managed to calm down at some point. I told myself, and even texted my boyfriend, that **it wasn’t that deep** and I didn’t know why I was freaking out so much. But today I’m back to spiraling, partly because I have no sex drive anymore. I often make myself have sex, not because anyone is forcing me or threatening me, but because I know my boyfriend feels rejected, and I’ve been in that exact place and felt rejected before. I at least try, and I usually end up enjoying it, so I think that’s okay. I know that in long-term relationships, it’s normal to have sex out of convenience, comfort, or pragmatic reasons. Still, my OCD has latched onto the idea that this isn’t full consent, even though I’ve said yes in the past, because it’s always *after* I express that I don’t really want to or that I’m unsure. Obviously, he’s not going to lose his sex drive; that’s valid. I’m trying to keep things not-tense, make him feel loved, and just act normal, but my birth control and OCD have made me feel so unlike myself. It almost feels like my OCD is saying that my sex wasn’t consensual is true, and I’m trying to fight through it. I told my boyfriend last night, and he started to freak out too, because his worst fear is that he accidentally did something without consent. He asked if I felt like I didn’t give full consent. I want to say no, that I felt fine, but my OCD has made it feel so uncertain and vivid that it feels like something bad happened. I feel scared, and I don’t want to see my boyfriend in the way my OCD is painting him. I love him. He’s so sweet, caring, and such a beautiful soul. I hate that this feels so real. There have been multiple times where I’ve had sex out of convenience or to please him, and I think that’s okay. But right now, my OCD has made it feel like I was assaulted. I even feel the urge to confess to the world that I’m a victim, and I don’t understand why that’s happening. The urge to pretend something bad did happen. It feels very real. I don’t know if this is a compulsion? If anyone can help me, I would really appreciate it. I feel so conflicted and scared, like I’m ruining my relationship, and I feel like I can’t function. Maybe what I want is validation that I have big feelings and that I’m directing my anger at myself for pushing myself, not at my boyfriend, because he’s genuinely a sweetheart and would never hurt me. My OCD insists that because he was drunk, maybe he crossed a line. I keep getting little glimpses of what I think are false memories from how hard I’m trying to remember and make sense of whatever mess is going on in my head rn. I don’t understand why I’m looping on this, and he’s trying to be super understanding even though it scares him too. I just don’t know what to do. I miss him, I’m upset at him, I love him, I keep mentally blaming him. I feel insane please help. I’m making this post, but I’m so scared someone is gonna say my OCD is right. I’m so scared someone is going to believe my bf to be a monster. I want this to be my OCD so bad and I want it to shut up

I was doing so good recently but than a random thought popped up and it’s bothering me. I’m a nerd and my boyfriend knows so, I used to play a game called character ai a lot a long time ago because it was a hobby of mine and I’d create stories with fictional characters and create romance, spicy or adventure stories etc. I stopped playing it because my ocd acted up really bad and was convincing me I was being unfaithful and my boyfriend and I talked about it since I tell my boyfriend everything from start to finish and he’s amazing he always comforts me and is so gentle when it comes to my ocd. But today I had a really bad thought dealing with that game. I remember I created a story on there using a scene from a tv show or movie etc, since that’s how most of my stories would go on that app, and myself, my boyfriend and my boyfriend’s friend was a character in the story. My boyfriend and I were doing something in and then I remember creating a scene where his friend showed up and talked with him at the door for a minute and then left and that’s all I remember of him being in the story. But of course my ocd was like “What if you created just a story with him and you don’t remember?” Or even “You felt nervous, that means you did do it.” Gosh I freaked, and I still am. I know I never would do that, and I know I didn’t but then I panicked because I felt feelings of anxiety, guilt, fear and just a heart dropping sensation. It’s like I don’t feel 100% certain unless I get reassurance from my boyfriend and just ugh I was doing so good and then this popped up.

I am 20 years old, for some background: I always had a hard time with relationships (friendships and family mostly ) due to people who have used , berated me in the past. Never been in a romantic relationship and I got this serious craving of wanting a deep connection. And in July I started to battle my thoughts: what if I will cheat ? What if I will ruin everything good that will come? What if I will be the toxic one ? What if I wont know how love feels ? What if I will never love ? What if I will be in only toxic relationships? And what do I do? I searched on Google.. read books..and I know I can't be like that but then I project reddit stories on myself that it will happen to me. For 2 months I felt agitated..no calm, those thoughts aren't stopping. Its about my sexuality too..I know I am straight but I kept having thoughts "what if you are in denial and you are a lesbian ? " then I research if I am attracted to girls or no signs. I am losing my mind..my therapist while she said she works with OCD she said I didnt have it because I am not a clean freak and invalidated my values about what a relationship is for me Am I going crazy ? What do i have ?

I’ve never really been diagnosed with OCD, I’ve had some symptoms but I usually just brushed it off. But recently, I’ve been feeling some sort of numbness to my partner. It upsets me, because our relationship is great and he’s done nothing wrong. I feel terrible for feeling like this. At first I thought it was me “falling out of love”, but I know I love him. It hurts me to think of life without him, it hurts me to think of never seeing his smile or feeling his touch or hearing his voice again. I know I love him. But for some reason I keep convincing myself I don’t. And its so confusing, because what if it’s not OCD and these are actual thoughts I’m having? But then how could I ever think like that when I know I love him? Is this normal? I want to be with him, I want him to be my husband one day and the father of my children. I want to be his wife. So why do I feel like this? Is something wrong with me? It hurts me to think that I might not love him, like it genuinely makes me cry, because I know I do love him, I’m just so confused. Any advice is appreciated.

Ive done too much bad in my life... too much genuine evil (POCD and Harm OCS related) has been committed by me in my early adolescence (13-14) and when i was 17-19... I am not human... I am evil... and evil will always be alone and miserable... so thats why I will commit myself to always being alone... one day being exposed for every terrible horrible thing i done on social media... and will forever be alone for as long as i live...

I feel unbelievably stressed out all the time, especially in the state of the world today. It seems like every time I open social media I’m shown grief in every capacity of life. What is happening here (the US), what’s happening overseas, etc. I have no idea how to navigate how I’m supposed to build a life and my career when it feels like the world is sort of falling apart around me. I feel really depressed and hopeless about it. I think it’s really easy to self isolate, especially being diagnosed with a deeply internalized anxiety disorder like OCD, and I’m just curious I how many people are feeling it too? I deeply crave community and I find it harder more and more everyday to get myself to a point where I even feel like it’ll do any good. I know this isn’t the first time in history that people have had to try to figure out some kind of normalcy in the face of political turbulence.. but with how much news and information we’re getting at every second of every day, I’m wondering if there is more damage being done than what we realize. It feels completely irresponsible to ignore everything that’s happening around me, but it’s overwhelming and making it to the point where I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.

I really struggle with trusting myself. I never really believe anything I say and the second I say or think anything i doubt if I actually feel that or mean it, and worry that I am lying to others/and or myself. I doubt that I experienced anything bad, I doubt my emotions and worry that I am just dramatic or seeking attention, I worry about my intentions and if they are bad or impure I worry that the thought I had must mean I am bad and then I obsess on how to be better and then I obsess over learning how to be the “best” friend, sister, person, Christian, etc. I obsess over how to be a Christian in the best way that considers all possible facts and opinions and finds the best ones that are perfectly true and that interpret God in the best/most correct way possible. I am either in full on obsession and mental compulsion/checking/research mode, or in avoidance mode trying to avoid being triggered. I notice that I obsess over how to know for sure if I have OCD, and how to know the best possible way to heal and no solution satisfies my mind because I doubt it and think there must be a better solution and maybe I didn’t consider one small detail that could change the way I should approach my brain. I worry that no matter how hard I try to do things right and be kind and good- that I will just disappoint others and myself no matter how hard I try. And when I try to accept that I am imperfect it only helps for a second because then I worry that if I stop trying to be the “best version of myself/best person I can” then that will mean I just don’t care and I will accidentally hurt people in the way my parents accidentally hurt me because they never tried to heal. I feel exhausted. I compulsively tell everyone everything I am thinking all the time. I overshare with my mom, my friends, and even my therapists and clearly on this app because I worry if I don’t it maybe means I’m lying but also sometimes even when I don’t want to overshare it feels like I can’t help it and do it against my own will. I feel like no matter how hard I try to make things better for myself and others I just end up making things worse. Then I end up feeling very numb and indifferent to the idea of life- which is so counter to my usual desire to live life to the fullest. My biggest trigger words are “lukewarm Christian”, “hypocrite”, “fake” etc because then I immediately worry those words must describe me and maybe I just don’t realize it. I spend hours going over my thoughts, feelings, experiences and researching endlessly to feel less anxious or give me the feeling that I can find a solution that will fix it- when deep down I know there is no perfect solution probably. Basically I say all this just to feel heard and so someone else maybe feels understood or seen. But I don’t want reassurance or anyone to engage with my actual fears. I’m open to any advice on how to approach this from an ERP standpoint though.

I feel like I'm the only one on here to actually experience significant harm due to meds I took 3 months ago. Its weird because it kind of erased most of my emotional range so my OCD is in remission like 95% of the time but its honestly miserable feeling completely neutral all the time. I go to support groups occasionally but I feel like if I bring this up I'm going through I'll just be scaring everyone else about their meds which isn't my goal. Its severely debilitating and the emotional issues are only one side of it, wish someone on here could help me navigate how to go about this situation and hopefully provide insight on what the this sort of process looks like and what to do cause I'm kind of at a loss for ideas, I've been trying behavior activation and ERP and the most it does is just keep me from doing nothing, since I have no motivation but it doesn't really create or foster motivation when I'm not even capable of feeling motivated.

an old friend is canceling me. i was 15 and he was 13 all the way to 17 and 15. he has screenshots. every time i overshared about sexual topics or made jokes, it's all there. we once wrote smut together and he has screenshots of that too. i was inappropriate and did uncomfortable things but i don't think i groomed him. grooming would mean molding his behavior for my own needs but he was already like that. he was already sexual. to me it feels like a lack of communication and he initiated most of the sexual conversations but I'm losing my damn mind trying to remember what the truth even is. i feel gaslit, doubting my own memory about what happened. like, maybe i did groom him! i don't know anymore! but this person is hellbent on ruining my life and i just want him to leave me alone! how am i supposed to keep going on with my usual life when I'm constantly defined by things i did as a teenager??

What if you did something so extremely awful and horrible as a child but you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? The POCD real events were extremely awful and horrible... no way around... it genuinely was extremely awful and horrible... I gag and v0mit even thinking about it... its that horrible... I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (happened 3 times) from when I was 14... I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 14... but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rpist at all… I was 14 when these real events happened and now I'm 23... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 14 at the time… now I’m 23… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they mlested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 14… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 14….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 13 or 14 because someone told me what these real events were before on the same day it happened for the 1st time... (it happened 3 times) but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... i truly didnt... I dont ever want to ever be what my pocd and real events ocd say I am... I dont ever want to be a P or a Chomo in any way... im so so scared... These real events were so extremely horrible and awful and worse than people realize... i g4g and vOmit and lie awake at night even thinking about them... thats how horrible and awful these mistakes were... I dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a Chomo or a r4pist or anything like that... im so so so so so so so so so so triggered and scared and anxious... I also did something at the age of 13 that was also extremely horrible... they asked me if i did it or not, but me being 13 and not knowing what i did was wrong and horrible, i denied it because i was scared... ive lived in guilt for so long... i dont love myself... and I genuinely cant stomach the idea that im still here... I feel so guilty and horrible... (edited)

I feel like maybe this should be in a relationship subreddit but people here will be a little more empathetic and understanding since I have ocd. Sometimes I confront my boyfriend about little things and he’ll tell me something that doesn’t make any sense. Some examples are him being active on Snapchat when he said he deleted it, him saying I’m his lock-screen but everytime he’d send a ss it was a gameboy, him saying he called a specific person but that call not being in his call log, and much more. There’s explanations behind these things that I just can’t seem to believe. He was raised in a mainly female environment and is Hispanic. He’s very close with the women in his life which made me think he’d be respectful. He was also cheated on in the past and so was his mother by his father so I’m not sure if he’d ever do that to me. Anyway, some months ago I had messaged a mutual friend him and I had in common. I didn’t have anyone else to turn to and I needed advice. She ended up showing/telling me some things. My boyfriend and I talked about it and we moved on but I don’t think I was ever over it and I actually feel sick now just looking back at the screenshots. I’ll add them in this. So the mutual friend actually told her own boyfriend that she thinks my boyfriend is attractive… yeah I had him block her. The first screenshot is when I told him to block her and I found that out which he told me a month later lol. I really don’t like the way he’s talking about me in the screenshot. The second 2 screenshots show him planning to hangout with her. He told me he was on call with her boyfriend while answering her and that he wasn’t actually planning on hanging out with her. There’s no way for me to actually know that though and those screenshots make me sick. He definitely wouldn’t cheat on me with her or anything like that but he knows I don’t want him hanging out with any girls one on one so seeing that disgusts me. The 4th screenshot is about me wanting him to block her again, it was the same day as the first screenshot. Still hate the way he’s talking about me. The last screenshot shows messages between him and the mutual friends boyfriend. She has her boyfriend’s log in so she sent me the screenshot. He told me he was just joking and he had never went to the fair and he didn’t know what the boyfriend was talking about. She actually was the one who apparently saw my boyfriend at the fair and she either told her boyfriend and then he messaged my boyfriend, or she logged into her boyfriend’s insta and sent my boyfriend those messages. I went back and looked at my boyfriend and I’s messages to see what he was texting on the 19th (the day she supposedly saw my boyfriend at the fair) and he had told me he was in Mexico with his dad and grandpa. He didn’t update me for 6hrs that day though but he said his dad doesn’t like him being on his phone. I then asked if he could download Life360 that night because he has a problem with not updating me and it freaks me out. Ironically, he said Life360 wasn’t available in Mexico and it wasn’t working for him. I also had asked him to call that night but he said he was sleeping with his brother. His dad gave his old room to his little brother and now they have to share a room every time my boyfriend visits. There was also this girl my boyfriend was friends with for like 2 months about 2 years ago and then they stopped being friends and he started talking to me. He really liked me like a lot and he’s a little nerdy too, not someone who gets around. I was his first kiss any everything. Anyway, I saw her in his insta suggestions a few months back and started overthinking a lot to the point where I’d stalk her insta everyday. He told me he didn’t even like her but she’s literally a model. The same day the mutual friend accused my boyfriend of being at the fair, was the same day she had went with a girl my boyfriend is friends with and some other people. Now I’m like oh my god, what if he went with this old friend from 2 years ago and then the girl friend they have in common. For the past few months I’ve been bringing her up even though she’s irrelevant I’m just so insecure. He went to a party and she was there but he said he wasn’t near her at all. I saw a picture of her lying on the ground though and his jacket was on a chair right next to her. He said he had just left it in the living room. She also posted pictures of herself in her story the other day with the song beetles by aphex twin and then some hours later that song showed up for the first time on my boyfriend’s airbuds… There’s not much to this girl, maybe he liked her for those 2 months they were friends but he said no and said she’s ugly so idk. He liked me a lot though when we first met and the way he treated me makes me not want to believe that he’d do something to hurt me. If you knew my boyfriend the same amount as I do then maybe everything I’m sharing would seem a little less suspicious or maybe I’m just oblivious. He’s really nerdy though and I’m his first love. I’m just overthinking so badly. I confront him about something new every single day and he’s so tired and I’m probably crazy. What if he hasn’t been lying or do anything behind my back and I’m just blaming him for such absurd things? I’d be insane. I think I might be bipolar or something. I was just telling him how much I loved and kissed him then a few hours later I told him I don’t think we’re going to work out and I feel like he’s been lying to me and a bunch of other things. Those messages will be the first thing he sees once he wakes up. He also changed his WhatsApp status a while back to “sleeping” when it was originally “I love my gf.” He said his dad thought his status was “I love my gf” because he didn’t want to talk to him?? Or his dad thought it meant he was talking to me and couldn’t answer, idk, another thing that didn’t make sense. He told me it was just an excuse for his dad to not text him. His parents are divorced btw which is why he visits his dad. Anyway, he said that’s why he changed it to “sleeping.” He was on vacation with his dad and sis when this happened. I was super upset so he changed it back. Then just like a week ago, he changed it again to “.” He told me he had no reason as to why he did that and that he just did it. That’s so stupid though, why wouldn’t you want it to say “I love my gf” anymore?? Like you just randomly decided you didn’t want that anymore with no reasoning? No one even looks at WhatsApp status’s. You literally have to like click on a persons contact to see it, it’s so stupid to change it because it’s so irrelevant. It’s just very weird to me and doesn’t make sense. (Just realized the screenshots aren’t in order but hopefully you can still understand). He also sends pics sometimes with his dad or friends and there’s multiple beers, sometimes close to him, but he says they’re not his. Like he sent a photo with his dad and there’s multiple beers were 2 beers, one a little close to him, and he said it was his dads. He swears on everything he doesn’t drink anymore.