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I am jsut so tired i want to go to sleep but my brain wont let me i feel weird and anxious and sick physically i dont know why i just feel so wrong rigjt now i just want to sleep

I struggle with nail picking, and have been dealing with it for about 20 years. There won’t usually be a cause for it- I’ll just randomly start the habit and won’t even realize that I’m doing it until it’s picked off. I think what triggers the behavior is when I feel the nail is uneven, or sharp, or “pickable”. This habit just recently started to also make its way to my lips. I pick the dead skin off my lips and again, won’t realize I’m doing it until they start to bleed, causing more scabs and dead skin for me to pick off. Does anyone have any helpful tips that could break these habits for me?

tw dark intrusive thoughts. if you saw my last post, (ok if you didn't) i talked about my contamination ocd tied to ptsd trauma of dogs. I don't know if what im about to talk about is a compulsion, but its related. And my mom tells me, that she thinks I have compulsions related to needing to talk to people about things. so i really can't stand dogs. looking at them makes me sick, triggers memories. saying the word "dog" makes me start thinking about them in a loop that i really struggle to break/can't purposely break myself. i have a lot of pain and anger revolving around dogs 😢 it feels like people have always tried to force me to like dogs. me saying "i don't like dogs." was never enough, no one would respect it, always trying to fix me and make me like dogs. (which i know it stems from trauma and so yes could/should be resolved, but i want to do it on my terms. i want me saying "i dont like dogs." to be enough and to be respected for my opinion.) again, im angry. it used to just be a fear, but now it is dark hatred. i think of my trauma; i think of people trying to force me to like and interact with dogs; i think of asking my family to please get rid of the dog for my mental and physical sake, that it was me or the dog, and they chose the dog; of when i cried my heart out to random strangers about that last thing, and they said i was selfish and they'd chose a dog over me too. im angry and hurt and don't feel like i can be healed or fixed. and ky ocd and intrusive thoughts make it worse. i used to have nightmares about dogs eating and murdering me, as i grew up i learned how to take control of the dreams and I'd kill the dogs before they could get to me. that bled into the real world mixed woth my hatred, and i cant tell if its really intrudtive thoughts or not for sure, but i think a lot about how much i want to murder dogs. whenever i see one, my first thought is "i want to kill it." a dog passed me and in a daydream im pulling out a knife and stabbing it before it gets me. when i meet up with my family all i can think about is that dog, and how much i want to push it into the road snd watch it bleed. i cannot escape dogs, they are everywhere. i became a recluse so i would limit my time seeing them in the world, only going out on rare occasions. but dogs are still everywhere on the internet. blocking tags and words doesn't work. All it takes is one TikTok ad, Amazon not loaded, and it shows me a picture of a dog and i get filled with so much pain and thoughts about how i wish i could kill every dog on this earth. and again again, im angry that people wont just accept me. i say "i dont like dogs" or "im afraid of dogs." and they tell me im a werido. and it makes me so mad and fills me with a want to tell them my real thoughts. how i constantly dream of killing dogs. they think im weird, well wait till they hear the rest. prople talking about their dogs, sharing pictures. it fills me with a want to just confess. i so deeply feel the want to tell people how much i want to kill dogs. i can't tell if i really want to kil them or not anymore. i wouldn't, but i think i do want it maybe. not to kill them, but for them to all die. i feel like i have a compulsion about telling people about my hatred of dogs. I can't stand to see them happily tallking about dogs, acting like "oh everyone loves dogs, there isn't a soul that would hate them or fear them." i want to feel seen. even if it leaves people thinking im a monster or a weirdo. i just hate people assuming automatically, that everyone and anyone loves dogs. what i really want is just a place where im free from the dogs. that i can have a happy life without all this fear, hatred, snd distress. people like me, who understand not liking dogs. so yeah this mostly turned into just a vent, i dont really remember what advice i was looking for. maybe if you think my need to tell people i hate and want to murder dogs is a compulsion, and or is you have any ideas of what i can do when i feel like this. thanks

I just got home yesterday from seeing my long distance bf for the last 4 days and the moment I got home it felt like a part of me was missing… my mood always drops and the ocd thoughts start almost instantly… before I left I cried about how I didn’t wanna go, this is simply worth mentioning because I don’t cry in front of anyone except for him. This past weekend was just so much fun and I didn’t want it to end. I love him so much but ocd loves to butt in and try to steal my happiness….However I’m too stubborn to allow it to completely ruin my day/week…. I hope everyone has an amazing rest of your day ♥️

Everything is so chaotic right now and I feel like I’m making a terrible mistake in my relationship. I’ve never been in a real relationship before now, just a lot of failed talking stages and infatuated crushes who didn’t even bother to look in my direction. And now I’m with someone who truly does love me and care about me, he checks of all by boxes, but now I’m worried I don’t actually like him or I’m just not that into him. I’m worried this is one of those things where they’re great on paper but I just don’t feel a strong enough attraction. I feel so confused and stressed and doubtful and anxious all the time. I don’t want to hurt him, and part of me so badly wants this to work out while the other part of me feels like I want to leave. The thought of being with him forever scares me and I worry it won’t be right and I won’t be happy. I also worry that I’m convincing myself to stay when I shouldn’t or deep down don’t want to. Every day it feels more and more like I want to leave. It’s just a mess. I’m worried I won’t ever be happy. I’ve been fighting for this relationship so hard, I’ve been trying so badly to make it work, and despite all the stress and anxiety, I’ve stayed. But I’m worried I’m just forcing a relationship that isn’t right. I’m so lost

I recently got into a relationship about three months back but him and I have been talking since last year November. This is probably the healthiest relationship I have ever been in and the man I’m with is the sweetest and kindest person to ever exist. Before this I was in a long term abusive relationship and I would go through rocd constantly with thoughts such as I may like someone else or “I should cheat” even if I’m having a conversation with someone of the opposite sex who’s my friend. My boyfriend is currently on his senior trip and I was out with some of my bestfriends, one of them being a guy that I had a little bit of history with but I didn’t want anything from it because he wasn’t compatible in that way but amazing as a friend. While I was hanging out with them I constantly kept getting intrusive thoughts such as oh I should do something or oh I don’t even like my boyfriend and I kept comparing them for the next couple of days. I feel so guilty and disgusting and I know the thoughts aren’t true but I just feel so terrible considering how amazing my boyfriend is. I really do love him infact we’re planning our future together but rocd is just getting in the way. Any kind of advice would be helpful❤️

This has only started to occur within the last year (I’m in my late 20s). I’ve become obsessively concerned with every single sensation I experience in my body constantly. Realistically, I don’t have any health concerns (besides mental health). I have an intense fear of having a medical emergency in front of another human, I find it to be so embarrassing (only for me tho, if someone had a medical emergency around me I don’t think it’s embarrassing at all). I constantly think I’m going to pass out (I have passed out in public before due to heat and people were laughing at me). It seems like all my bodily sensations have now become foreign to me and everything I physically feel is an indicator that I’m dying. Anyone else struggle existing in their body like this too?

I don't want to have to address every single medical concern I think I have because of medical bills but then I'm concerned I'll miss something that will kill me. My kidneys start hurting = "oh no I'm gonna have organ failure! You have to catch these things early! What if I shrug it off and I die!" I don't know how severe my pain has to be for it to be serious! I'm in pain all the time it seems and my tolerance is high so it's hard to tell if I need to address it seriously or if I am overreacting

Does being an affectionate person feed anyone else's ocd? I used to be super touch repulsed as a kid and young teen but after alot of therapy I became a really physically affectionate person. I love hugging and cuddling the people I care about, close friends, family, etc. But ever since my first ocd flare up sometimes it can feel like my ocd recontextualizes this to mean I'm some kind of pervert whose uses being an affectionate guy as an excuse to get too close to people. I feel like alot of the time we can shut down parts of ourselves to "apease" the ocdemon as a form of avoidance, but I don't want to be anyone but the friendly guy who loves his friends and isn't afraid to show it. So if you feel the same tell me ur story, maybe we can support eachother

Sorry in advance if this is kinda gross lol Does anyone have any advice for checking compulsions?? in particular, cleanliness compulsions?? i’m currently having a flair up but i don’t know how to handle it. I can barely stand going to the bathroom, because i never feel like i’ve wiped enough or i’m not clean enough. In particular if I have to poop, even after i make sure i’ve cleaned myself thoroughly i still feel the urge to go back to the bathroom to check. And whenever i pass gas I feel the urge to check my underwear just in case i’ve had an accident. It’s getting so stressful and annoying at this point :// I’m wasting so much time and tissue when I check myself, but i can’t help it. It bothers me so much. I want to stop, but I don’t know what to.

I've been dealing with my so-ocd for a bit now and I've been doing pretty good. But i just read someone's comment saying that if you've gone through a questioning phase then that could mean something. I went through a very small questioning phase before i even found out i had ocd. That phase lasted no more than 2 months even if that. I figured out that I was still straight and that is what makes me happy and comfortable.

Hi guys, I have recently discovered my OCD and it’s specifically about religion. Recently, I have been upset with God because I haven’t understood why I have these struggles (even though logically I can understand that everyone has different struggles). As a response to this anger and frustration, I’ve gotten some REALLY bad thoughts that go directly against God and that are really hateful to Him. Even though I’m mad I don’t want these thoughts, but I am really struggling to get them under control. I can’t tell whether these thoughts are actually how I feel or not because they are SO extreme. Like how do I process anger without being hateful towards God? Why are these horrible thoughts popping up? If anyone has any advice please let me know. Thank you so much.

Currently really struggling. I was triggered by a video that talked about how any kind of abuse in a relationship means the relationship should be terminated, no ifs, ands, or butts. I’ve been with my gf since I was 16 and she was 18. I grew up with some really poor role models and examples of how you’re supposed to treat a partner (parents were verbally abusive to each other, passive aggressive, etc.). I’m not saying this is the reason I’m so messed up (and a terrible girlfriend), but I think it’s a contributing factor. I’ve acted in a lot of stupid, unacceptable ways during our almost 9 year relationship. I get better every year, but there are still things from only a couple years ago that I’ve done that haunt me. She always forgives me and I always use these regrets as a learning experience and do everything I can to not repeat them, but I fear the actions are too bad to be worked through. I fear she only forgives me because I’ve given her Stockholm syndrome or something. I won’t go into every event here because there are too many, but I will say the one that is closest to the front of my mind right now. My girlfriend is trans, and it’s been a few years since she first told me she was questioning this. I was initially super supportive and she started therapy to dive into these feelings. One evening, she was doing teletherapy and in an impulsive, intoxicated state, I did one of the worst things imaginable. I listened to part of her session through the door. And not for one second, but several minutes. I don’t even know exactly how long. I heard her tell her therapist that she was sure that she was trans, and I basically freaked out. When she came out of her session, I had the gall to ask her about how sure she was she was trans and she confirmed to me she was certain. Cue huge wave of anxiety. Very shortly after, I confessed to her what I’d done and what I heard. She was upset, but not nearly as upset as she ought to be. I was immediately full of remorse, shame, and self hatred over what I did. I ended up self harming. It was out of self hatred, but I accidentally took it further than I intended to and ended up confessing this to her as well because I was freaking out. All in all, one of the worst evenings of my life. My girlfriend has forgiven me, but I’m terrified that she shouldn’t, that forgiving me isn’t good for her. It doesn’t bother her anymore, and she wants me to move on. And this is just one of the million actual seriously horrible real events that I have committed. I know it isn’t really OCD related, but I struggle not to bring this up, obsess, and compulsively apologize to her every time this resurfaces. I think I’m an abuser and it makes me sick. I love this girl, she has been my everything for almost 9 years. But I have done so many sickening things that make me unworthy of her. I feel like it doesn’t matter how much I change, I will never deserve her. She still shows me an incredible amount of love and empathy despite everything I’ve done, and I’m so worried for her. I just do the wrong thing at every possible turn, and I’m so sick of myself. I want to be with her more than anything in the world, but according to Reddit, the best thing I could do for her would be to rid her of me. I was an abusive, betraying, narcissistic, manipulative POS. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fix it, and I am so scared because she still wants to spend her life with me. I just want to be worthy of that, but I’ve fucked up too many times. Rant over. Sorry if this doesn’t have much to do with OCD. Im sorry if I upset anyone here. I’m trying my best not to google scenarios like this and read every comment. Again.

Just want to cut I’m with my boyfriend but feel alone and unwanted from arguing and the relationship feels confusing one minute I love him and the next I don’t wanna be with him

constant intrusive thoughts, constant groinal responses. couldn’t even watch a video on TikTok of a toddler throwing a fit bc she opened her legs and immediately my pocd acted up. it gives me groinal responses, bad thoughts, and feelings of anxiety, fear , and shame. I hate this. How do I get through life like this? I can’t even imagine being a teacher or a parent, because the next thought that comes is images of me hurting children. thoughts of “ur a p, ur destined to be a p, ur gonna eventually end up hurting a kid” “ur only freaking out because u know u will be shunned” I hate this. The thoughts go into so much detail and feel so real. No matter what I say or do, it argues back and convinces me im a p. Everytime I see children, anywhere, I can’t stand it because of this. I’m scared to have kids out of fear I will hurt them and do something bad to them for my own pleasure. I feel like one day im just gonna snap and hurt kids. I can’t take this at all. It feels so real. I don’t know what to do. I am crying as I am writing this. The groinal responses feel like actual arousal. I feel so angry, and sad, at the world and myself. I am scared and I think I am actually a p, and instead should get help for that instead of ocd. I don’t know what else to do

hi i’m belinda and i always have really bad intrusive thoughts. always have. im really young so i can’t get the help i need because my parents think therapy is stupid, so im glad i found this app. but i can never get these thoughts out of my head even if i don’t believe them. its so bad, i will never be saying it out loud. sometimes i fear that God won’t forgive me for my intrusive thoughts, even if i can’t control it. i don’t know. can anyone help? 🥲 or does anyone relate?

It feels like OCD has taken everything good out of my life. I only feel free from anxiety, guilt, fear and lack of control when I'm sleeping and I'm lucky that my intrusive thoughts don't affect my night's sleep either. My therapist has already warned me about the dangers of not doing anything that is good for me as this can result in severe depression, but I feel so guilty about my thoughts and then carrying out a compulsion, that sometimes I don't even feel like eating, I feel truly sick to my stomach. I have suffered from undiagnosed OCD for as long as I can remember, I finally had a diagnosis at the beginning of this year and it was a relief at first, to have an answer as to why my whole life was the way it was, but now I continue the treatment and I don't know if one day I will be able to improve. I know that OCD has no cure and it hurts to think that I will have to live every day of my life fighting my own brain. Anyway, this has gone on too long, this app is one of the best things I've ever done for myself and my disorder, I hope this all passes soon, I'm tired.

Im feeling so anxious cause of my pocd and real events ocd based on extremely horrible childhood mistakes... Here are the facts. - I made a severe horrible mistake of a sexual nature 3 times at the age of 13. - someone told me about what the mistake was and what it meant earlier in the week before the mistakes happened... - i had no idea what the mistake even was before I learned of it, much less ever do it.... - i had forgotten about being told about the mistake and what it meant, and the severe mistakes happened later in the following days... - it never happened again and I feel extremely guilty at the age of 22. I dont ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo... I was told what this word was, but I had forgotten it... I did not have full knowledge or full understanding on how horrible this mistake was... I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 and I get intrusive thoughts of people calling me a P and a chomo and me getting arrested… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo… the real events happened only 3 times and I really didn’t know how horrible it was… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to ever be attracted to or harm kids in any way… 😭😭😭 my POCD says that the person remembers and that they were negatively affected... i genuinely despise my life...

Hello everyone, so I just finished the movie "turtles all the way down" which is based on the book by John Green. The movie is about a 16 year old girl with OCD who tries to solve a mystery involving her love interests fathers disappearance. The movie definitely covers OCD better than what is the stereotype of just someone who is organized but in other ways it really misses the mark. First off it only covers one form of OCD in detail, contamination OCD. The main character Aza is constantly afraid of contracting a virus called C diff that she has to do compulsions like change a bandaid or eat hand sanitizer. While that might be a representation of Contamination OCD, it is not the only form of OCD out there. I felt like the movie should of covered other forms of OCD such as relationship OCD, Harm OCD and especially Pure O, but none of that was covered at all. If someone with OCD was using this movie to help a loved one understand them, it would only make them think OCD is just related to germs. Another part of the movie that really jerked me the wrong way was the pushing of medication as a cure for OCD. I was personally on many medications for OCD as a kid and only made my condition worse. The therapist in the movie literally guilt trips Aza into taking her medication to make her OCD go away. Her therapist does mention exposure response therapy but does not explain to the audience what it is. So if someone wanted to learn about ERP they would have to seek it out after the movie. Overall I'd say the movie still misses the mark in a fully accurate portrayal of OCD.

It genuinely feels like this disorder is taking away my whole life. I cant go outside and hangout with the people I love or even be around strangers because my thoughts will include them and I’ll just get really uncomfortable and anxious. It has made me distance myself from so many ppl in my life and made me have thoughts and feelings that I don’t want and that I hate making me feel like a monster and a disgusting person. Sometimes I’m genuinely so close to taking my life. It feels like there’s no hope for me at all and that I’ll be like this forever fighting my own brain till I’m old and on my death bed. I’m supposed to be enjoying my summer but I just can’t. I cant go outside, I can’t go on social media, hell I can’t do anything because there will be a child around that will trigger me into a spiral. I can’t stay all summer locked up in my room and constantly making excuses to not go out. It’s been feeling so real too like I’m really the type of person that I don’t want to be and it’s so scary.