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My OCD gives me the need to confess things. It’s really hard and exhausting. How do you combat this, anyone else had this problem?

Trying to remember a night out that I was intoxicated but remembering it backwards and visualising it all, it’s driving me crazy and don’t know my brain feels blocked and about to bust

this has been happening for a couple of years now but it has been plaguing me even more lately but i find it SO HARD to stop feeling weird and overly conscious of myself around other people. like i cannot stop myself from thinking that everyone thinks im acting weird and being awkward. My brain keeps telling me that anytime i open my mouth i sound stupid and childish (another things I've been struggling w: actually feeling like an adult) and i feel like i can't be in public sometimes bc it's too overwhelming to interact with others. this doesn't happen to me w people who are close to me thankfully, but anytime im around anyone who is new in my life, such as the people at the place where i volunteer, i feel this overwhelming sensation of desperation to not come off as socially inept. The social anxiety is causing me to have all these chaotic and very useless thoughts that i know are not true. Like i highly doubt people are having negative thoughts about me and my behavior but my brain refuses to accept that and keeps whispering "they don't like you, you're annoying them, they don't want you here, they thought what you just said was stupid, etc" I wish i could go back to the times where i didn't feel all of these things so strongly!!! Like what went wrong!!! (I mean I can think of a few reasons but still. I thought getting older would mean I could shed some of my fears. Not that they would get worse) anyway im sure there are other ppl who can relate. If anyone has advice about how to deal w these feelings, I appreciate it <3

Hi all, I’m new here. For the past 5ish years of my life I have lived with what I called health anxiety but recently have been researching more into OCD and I’m wondering if that’s what I might actually suffer from. I have tried multiple different therapists and types of therapy (mostly CBT and talk) but nothing has helped me. Every day I think about death and it plagues most of my thoughts in any given scenario. Usually I think about it in terms of myself because I am terrified of dying young but slightly less often I obsess over losing my husband as well. For myself this usually manifests as thinking I have specific diseases (cancer, bone disease, heart conditions, brain tumors) that are undiagnosed and underlying. I am doing constant checks and googling of my symptoms and thinking about what will happen after I die and how it will affect my loved ones and everything around me. I also become very triggered when I hear about young people dying and whenever I hear something like that or see something on social media about death or disease I think it’s a sign from the universe about myself and I spiral. I am terrified of the doctor so I actually haven’t been in a very long time but I have been trying to talk myself into getting blood tests. I’m just terrified of hearing what I feel are going to be bad results. I try not to think about my thoughts because I also have thoughts that thinking this way will manifest bad health even if I don’t already have it so then I become in an obsessive loop of thinking and then thinking about not thinking and then thinking about thinking about not thinking … I don’t know if any of this makes sense and I don’t know what I can do at this point but I am just so so exhausted of living my life this way so here is my word vomit.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to stop ‘joy checking’? Like I feel the need to keep checking my emotional state, both in the moment and in the past, to make sure I am feeling happy and joyful. This is due to my fear of developing depression which will lead to suicide (or so my ocd tells me). It’s quite distressing. Any suggestions? Thanks so much!

I have the “i want to die thougt” everyday!!! Is this normal with suicidal ocd?? Anyone relate?

This is so bad I don’t know how I’m going to survive this life this new problem I have is taking its toll on me I feel like life isn’t the same now. No one cares no one understands. I started suddenly having pocd I’ve never had it before But I deliberately imagined something really disgusting about licking/sucking and it’s bad and I imagined it on purpose it wasn’t an intrusive thoguht but I don’t. Feel disgusted or anxious or anything I jsut feel nothing now I keep imagining it in hope I will get anxiety but I feel like I can make myself have shudders/anxiety on demand so I think it’s fake now and Soemone on here wrote as long as you feel disgusted that means it’s not a desire and your not a p but now I don’t know what I feel and i just want to live a normal life

I’m trying to figure out the best medicine for ocd/anxiety I’m currently taking 20mg of Prozac and have been taking it for awhile but no success. Can anyone tell me what they are taking and how it’s helped them

Hi guys also another question I’ve been doing ERP for awhile now. And I’m just getting into exposures and when I’m doing them with my therapist like writing out the things that scare me and saying them out loud it doesn’t seem to scare me. It’s more so when I’m alone having these constant thoughts daily is what becomes overwhelming and makes them feel real. Any insight on this?

Hello anyone reading, I just wanted to vent here because at this point i’m not sure what to do or if i’ll ever be normal and my OCD is causing my mental health to go down the drain badly. It’s so debilitating I can’t do anything daily other than focus on it. I can’t feel comfortable anywhere, not even in my own home. I deal with the type of OCD where i’m convinced things are contaminated with chemicals or feces or any number of things. TMI: For example when I used the bathroom the other day in a public one and it went off on its own so now i’m convinced I had feces all over me so I had to shower and wash my clothes. Now i can’t even sit in my car cause the seat supposedly is covered now too from the drive home. I can’t touch anything on my floor or anywhere for that matter without washing my hands like my phone charger or my feet/shoes/ankles, door knobs, handles, anything cause i don’t even know why anymore. I’m terrified of cleaning products being on me or touching them, people spraying anything. I can’t have my windows down in the car anymore because i’m terrified of someone’s window washer fluid getting all over me. I watched a video about a guy accidentally drinking paint thinner cause he kept it in a water bottle and had to convince myself that my water wasn’t paint thinner and etc These are just some of the examples I have and I don’t know how to get over it or handle it anymore and I feel like I’m literally going crazy. Any suggestions or advice would mean a lot. please

Got hit on back of my head from someone elbow by accident kinda hard but there was no pain or anything I am shy and nervous so I just said why you do that and left. As I was walking I head my heart beating in my head. Now I fear I have brain damage or something bad I still remember everything my passwords my name so I didn't lose my memory. Now I'm going feel different all day and worry in my head because of it

I've been reading through the posts on this app all morning to see if someone can relate to the way I'm feeling. I'm constantly bombarded by thoughts about me or other people being hurt by my cause. It terrifies me to the core and I end up going down in tears at the very thought of it. It's so hard to open up to others about it because I'm worried I'm just insane, and not someone worth saving. It's gotten to the point where I'm very depressed, I refuse to leave my room in the morning to get ready for school, and I don't feel emotion anymore. Another issue I've been having is secluding myself because I'm afraid of harming people. But it's all my mind goes on about, and I can't make it stop. I'm crying whilst posting this, and I just want to feel normal again.

So I posted a little while ago about my testing of being trans (MTF) and going by she/they in my closer circles. Now this is all well and good but I’m continually questioning whether my experience is real. I stoped wearing masculine underwear because it doesn’t feel right but I don’t know if that’s a compulsion or if I genuinely don’t feel at home being a man anymore (I’ve told my friends that he/him is no longer he/home). I’ve been going by any pronouns for a few months and like when someone calls me a guy I feel weird but also being called by she/they is still weird and so it’s also uncomfortable, especially because I’m so incredibly masc passing (I’m a bigger hairy individual). According to people around me when I talk about being trans I get nervous and excited In a good way? But also especially with how society is nowadays (USA) being trans is also terrifying. The other thing is like I lean toward playing masculine characters in like dnd and games. Idk it’s definitely scary and strange and I’m just trying to figure it all out. I feel like when I’m around my gf I’m a lot more comfortable being her girlfriend (which my ROCD also has gone a little hog wild recently because I continually interpret me being content in the relationship as me not caring and the minute that happens I think of my last relationship and how the end of it was everything I did being obligation not because I wanted to and I fear getting to that point) Outside of that context I’m like “I’m your boyfriend yup that’s it not a girl she/they feels weird” and like I’m still very comfortable in masculine spaces and (this could be internalized transphobia from my parents as well as some OCD) that if I’m in a feminine space I’m just gonna get horny or something and make everyone else in there and myself uncomfortable and then feel guilty for “faking” this and feeling any of that, because a part of me has had some SOOCD and like scared I’m not into my gf or women in general even though I know I am (I’m Bi) because I don’t get like an instant erection being around her anymore, but getting a boner in my underwear around a bunch of cis women just sounds embarrassing. A good move is probably to go see a gender therapist and figure this all out. Sorry this was just a run on rambling mess but yeah that’s my thoughts. Any other trans folks in here wanna help out and share their experiences?

TW: talk of cancer I don’t post on here much, but I’ve been dealing with Health Concern OCD my whole life. I am constantly searching for mystery illnesses that could be causing even the slightest discomforts in my body. My lymph nodes are swollen, I am trying to rationalize my thinking by saying I could just have a cold. However, I cannot stop thinking about it. I am terrified of having some form of cancer/lymphoma that I may not have noticed until now. I am restless and unable to sleep, all I can think about is what is going to happen if I get this checked out by a doctor. I want to know why this is happening in my body, but I’m scared that my worst nightmare might be true and if I was too late to get seen. I’m feeling very defeated, and trapped in my own head. Nobody knows how debilitating my OCD really is because I put on a very good facade of seeming like I’m cool calm and collected. Most of the time, I’m freaking out over the smallest changes or feelings.

For the last few hours I’ve been in a state and confused and I’ve been crying and it’s been bad please help I know reactance isn’t the answer but I’m really suffering and can’t go to sleep until I figure this out please

I’ve been doing a lot deep thinking and I finally learned that ocd comes with the possibilities it doesn’t mean that who you will be it simply means it’s out there and to be aware of it. I know I’m a confident straight woman and nothing will change me. Also always remember that everything is a choice you don’t have to be with someone or do something you don’t want to do. Always remember that!!

I’m new to this theme but I jsut thought a really disgusting thought/image and it was like a sequence of me doing something disgusting and now idk wha to think why the hell am I thinking it on purpose and imagining it on purpose what does that mean why do I not feel disgusted and why am I willingly thinking of it with no anxiety and no disgust. At the start of my ocd when I had harm ocd I was terrified of thinking of harm thoguhts and wanted them to go away and now I’m deliberate thinking of these disgusting pocd thoughts on purpose

I feel like I'm having a mini episode of some sort. I think it might be PMS-related, and it doesn't feel good. I feel like I'm depressed and stuck and every little thing is wrong. Like I was thinking of straightening my hair today, but then I got really anxious because I know I wouldn't look like myself after. Feeling out of touch with my self-image even in the slightest makes me start to spiral. I often say that when I'm having an episode, I feel like "nothing". I don't feel like me, I don't feel like anyone, I just feel like absolutely nothing. I don't feel like a person. I feel like a zombie. I feel dead. I feel gone. I have an appointment with an ACTUAL, real, female psychiatrist, but it's not until July. I'm scared of waiting that long. I'm just so very sad right now. I feel stuck and I wish I had the proper help NOW. I don't feel like any meds I've ever taken have helped at all. I just always assumed if I wasn't having an episode then that meant they were working. I'm starting to be convinced that there is no help out there for me, and that I'll never have answers and will just keep living in the dark, guessing for the rest of my life.

I can’t carry on with this feeling of doing something (rape) intoxicated, it’s gone on for months and just think I done it all, my life’s ruined

How do u stop overly worrying about your health. I have a sinus infection, eye infection, and ear infection and im scared there’s more to it because it doesn’t feel like anything is working