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hii, i struggle with spiritual ocd and for me that means i have protection necklaces and i can’t take them off in fear of something happening. any tips that might help me manage this??

Hello. I have been on here for a while but this is my first post. I'll cut to the point. I've always wanted kids. And now that my husband and I are trying for a kid.. I'm so nervous about it. I have a hard time touching doors and foreign objects because of germs as it is. And i'm worried all pregnancy is going to do is increase my anxiety. The fear is so intense that tonight I told my husband maybe I don't want kids?.. I do. But I don't know if I can put myself through hormone changes like that when I feel like I can't even control my anxiety most days nows. I've felt like this for 3 years....

I have been heterosexual all my life and been exclusively attracted to women in all aspects. Although, admittedly that I find all people aesthetically attractive (regardless of gender), it was in my nature to complement them and admire them for who they are. I’m currently in a committed relationship with my girlfriend and have been happy up until the end of 2023. It wasn’t until the start of January where the normal things that I did made me question about my sexuality. I kept obsessing over it and overthinking about it up until the point that I kept asking for reassurance from my family and partner as well as none-stop researching about it. It has been taking up my time in school and I’m losing my sleep. My mind was telling me that I was bisexual or gay, but deep down it felt wrong like it wasn’t me. I was having thoughts and fantasies that would wake me up and feel repulsed. I am slowly staring to get numb and be emotionless. I also have been very anxious and have started to get attractions and arousals that I didn’t like. I’m also starting to lose attraction to my partner and there have been instances where the thoughts were so close to convincing me. I just want to be happy with my girlfriend and I don’t want to lose our relationship as well as our future. I don’t also want to lose my self. I have been getting false attractions, groinal responses, thoughts and images that are bothersome and makes me feel repulsed. It gets worse whenever I analyze my past. I don’t know what to do and I just want to cry.

(Long message) Today I’m feeling guilty about how I haven’t reached out to my (ex?) best friend for months. Here’s some back story: So I’ve been best friends with this girl since middle school and she’s always been nasty, very opinionated, very explosive, and was the type of person to say that being a “bitch” was a part of her personality. Also she would make snarky comments to me, she just isn’t a nice person overall. So you can kinda get a good idea of what kind of person she is. Anyway, we were super close and we decided to dorm together our freshman year of college (yes I knew that it could end badly), and it was pretty good the 1st semester but I started to get more irritated during the 2nd, mainly about small things but it kinda turned into me getting annoyed by every single thing. This was last year. At the beginning of last summer, I had wanted to distance myself just for like a week or two, just cuz I had lived with her for a year and I didn’t want to get irritated further. So that clearly took a wrong turn cuz then she started getting mad about how I wasn’t really hanging out with her, I was always with my bf, etc. Meanwhile she had only asked me to hang out about 4 times throughout the summer and 2 of those times I was already out with my bf. Then she was always starting unnecessary arguments with me, saying how our friendship was one-sided, and at that point I just didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. But I never told her about anything I was thinking, and the reason why I never did was cuz ever since middle school I was always afraid to share my opinions to her in fear that she’d explode and get mad, so for me to tell her how I felt about our friendship was a no-go, which wasn’t the best decision but it is way too late now. Fast forward to now, I’m at a different college (not cuz of her), it is the 2nd semester and the last time I’ve seen her was New Year’s Eve, and that was the last time I spoke to her. I’ll admit, ever since the summer I’ve been having this one-sided conflict with her, just bc of everything that happened and also the specific things she’s said to me during everything that rubbed me the wrong way. Obviously she doesn’t know I have these feelings towards her but like I said, it is way too late to say anything, even if it wasn’t I wouldn’t say anything, and I just have to live with it. But I have felt guilty about these feelings for a while, on and off, but also that I haven’t reached out to her. She hasn’t reached out to me either though. This is literally what I wanted too, I wanted to slowly drift apart from her and that’s what happened, but I just feel so guilty that I secretly hate her and I won’t reach out to her cuz of it, even tho she hasn’t said anything to me either. I just had to get that off my chest, but is this considered real-events ocd? Can anyone relate?

I feel the right thing to do is own upto my rape memory/thought, It was when I was intoxicated and walking home on my own I feel I grabbed someone and committed an awful act on them. What shall I do

I’ve dealt with all subtypes at some point in my life, and all are destructive and debilitating…No question there. But nothing has infuriated me personally more than my cheating OCD. Hear me out. For the rest, they were centered around ME being a bad or evil person, but I was used to that. Self-loathing at least keeps the suffering within me and me only… But this cheating OCD…Is making me distrust and doubt the best person in my life. It’s projecting my disease onto someone ELSE…It’s not fair! I prefer the cheating OCD to be ON ME, I’d prefer to fear I am the cheater than to ever suspect him!! I’ve been through it, and it was preferred to this! At least I could just hate myself, and not him!!!!! Having my OCD target and fixate on the person I love the most is the WORST.

I live in college dorm apartment and have three other roomates. The other two that share a room have made complaints toward my roomate and I about little things like leave 1 dish in the dish rack. So at the beginning of moving in I asked if blow drying my hair in the AM was too loud they said after 7 AM was ok, so I have abided by it. They also had commented that we were “slamming doors” mind you, our doors are less than half a foot away from each other including mine and my roomates bathroom door. So I try to be as quiet as possible. Well three days ago they put as passive aggressive sticky note on my door complaining about the “door slamming” I open and close the door twice before 8 AM and they basically said limit the door slamming until 8 AM which is the dorm time of making noise. However we have classes really early and also stated in our profil that we would be waking up prior to 7 am or earlier. And I’m so confused because my roomie just acts innocent and I do all the talking. And I feel like there’s jealously and hostility coming from the other two girls, and I haven’t even done anything. I don’t play music, I wash my dishes immediately after cooking. I vacuum and clean common areas. And it does make sense to me how I can blow dry my hair at 7 AM but they’re complaining my open a door before 8 AM wakes them up but not the sound of a loud blow dryer?? So anyways I told my RA bc I’m tired of them picking on me. And we have a mediation meeting this upcoming week, and I have been having a bad ocd episode questioning myself if I’ve done something wrong or if if I’m going to get in trouble even though the hostility is coming from them. My current roomie started acting cold bc we were already kind of having distance because of some unhealthy things I saw and didn’t want to be part of. So my roomie has kinda instigated making jokes like oh that’s your best friend abt my roomates and like used to bring them up everyday yet acts innocent in front of them, and allowing me to look like the bad person for standing up for myself. Anyways the ocd is out of hand and I feel intense sadness bc I haven’t done anything and I’m paranoid that they’re going to say bad things about me at the mediation meeting and make me look bad but I doubt the person hosting our meeting would allow that behavior. Any recommendations on how to cope?

My ROCD has been hyperfocused on why my sex life with my husband has been a lot less frequent. Thinking he’s lying, thinking I’m not good enough, etc. I started getting triggered by romantic scenes in movies and books, they make me really sad and want to stop watching.

Does anyone ever feel like they are “reaching” for the thoughts almost to check it shows up? It makes it feel like it’s intentional but if is very much not because I believe the content of the thought, rather it is almost a sick need to have the thought even though I don’t want the thought. Does that make any sense?

Hey everyone, I’m not sure if this is super OCD related, but I figured I’d post just to maybe feel less alone. I’m always worried in the back of my mind that I might have cancer, and it’s not for nothing, I have had two types of cancer before I was 10 years old. The fear doesn’t take over my life, but it’s definitely there. I recently got sent to check a large lump that appeared on my thyroid, and all diagnostics coming back so far are ruling out the easy non-cancer options. I’m worried, it’s not an unfounded worry, but it’s starting to interfere with my life in a way that feels like OCD. I’m scared, and if I’m completely honest, I’m extremely sad. The last thing I want to do is get life changing bad news in the middle of an OCD spiral. Anyway, thank you for reading, I think I just needed to get that off my chest ❤️‍🩹

hi ok so. typing this im terrified. 2023 was a really hard year for me. there was this girl at my work who made my life hell. i was 21 she was 29 and she would make shit about me to tell my coworkers. I left that job feb 2023. the next couple months I was unemployed and going in and out of depressive mode and ocd constantly triggered and I could not break my routine. the stress of being broke was an everyday mental game. then I returned to work in October and got hit with shitty sicknesses left and right. I got a stomach bug x2 and covid from my girlfriends parents and got the flu in january and had an ovarian cyst rupture which led to a uti and then the medicine from the uti gave me a yeast infection… not fun. Then bc of the flu I sat and couldn’t shower and got a tailbone cyst bc of excess sitting…. it sucks because I would get sick and then get so panicked about being sick and make it worse and then start to feel better and make myself sick again or just get sick because of like unavoidable things like flu or covid. it caused me to be Hyperaware of my body and feelings and symptoms and it just caused so much stress. I’m trying to tell myself everything ok and I even tried to help it with therapy and I got a therapist (not on here) and tried to tell her about all of this and the health anxiety has just been hypersensitive lately and all she said was, “That’s a lot. Is it an underlying condition you’re unaware of?” why would u say that to me. what the fuck. and I told her I had health ocd/anxiety. I just felt so unheard and not listened to. I’ve been trying to regulate my nervous system to make everything get better but it’s hard when I’ll just be sitting and feel butterflies in my stomach. I just feel like people don’t understand. and I just want to feel less stress so I can stop getting symptoms which make me s*ck. thanks for listening

I keep getting images of girls naked and whenever I see girls on tick-tock I keep setting thought in my mind u like her and it’s becomes like a fealing. Btw I’m a girl and I don’t like girls I’ve never had any crush on a girl I’ve always liked boys. When we I think of a boy I get thought about a girl is it an intrusive thought could some one please reply to me I need help I don’t who I am anymore. I went doctors again yesterday and they increased my fluoxetine dose to 30 Mg. All I want to know if I’m straight or no I’m scared I want to have a husband My parents are very worried for me

Omg I can’t believe how serious ocd is, I was diagnosed back in the beginning of February and I’ve been trying cymbalta and it’s made my suicidal ocd flare up yesterday was really bad and then I was watching the movie inception and it triggered my existential ocd where now I feel like I’m living inside a dream and that this is all me being asleep, the anxiety is bad and I’ve tried everything, I don’t know what to do with this one, I was having a better day then yesterday and boom triggered and now I’m ruminating and compulsion, I don’t know how to help myself, anyone have advice please!?

I felt like I was doing ok (not great) in my OCD recovery, putting in the work and noticing some progress. But after this most recent set back I just feel so beat down and honestly feels so hard to keep doing recovery work. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, I hate this, I hate mental health, I just want to be and feel normal. This past year that should be the best times of my life has been literally the absolute worst with no end in sight. I don’t understand how OCD has taken over my brain, not only in thoughts but heavy on the emotions/feelings side which is the worst.

Hello me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year and I’m very scared because I’ve had intrusive thoughts abt leaving him for another. This is very much against my moral compass and I’ve been avoiding male friends because of it. It stemmed from hlm not being able to comfort me as well as certain friends, but I’ve abstained from telling my friends my problems cuz of this I feel terrible and want to hurt myself. I hate these thoughts. I just want to feel safe and happy.

I had a dream that I liked this boy and I’m a girl is it a good sign that’s I’m straight but when I woke up I started to get thoughts about girls and they feel real they deal that I like girls and I don’t want to

Hi. I struggle with intrusive thoughts a lot and I don’t know how to deal with it. They scare me so much I end up crying. I have many panic attacks because of them. I don’t want to sound crazy. I swear I would never think these things but sometimes when I’m near people or something a random thought “I hope you die” comes in my head. And I would never wish that on anyone. And the worst part is, it happens with people i love and care for so much. I know these thoughts aren’t me. I swear they aren’t but I still get so anxious about them. They make me feel like I have to tell the person it involves and I don’t want to do that. I’ll sound crazy. I’ll sound horrible. I’d never wish that on anyone. I care for everyone and everything whether I know them or not. Idk what to do. I obsess over these thoughts even tho I know it’s not me. Currently crying writing this.

I'm curious if anyone else thought they had a different illness or has even been formally misdiagnosed. For me, OCD *always* came up in Google search results when I was looking up my symptoms. But I always dismissed it thinking "there's no way I have that!" because of my false preconception of OCD being purely about cleanliness and counting. My symptoms involving mood swings and my obsessions/insecurities with how other people perceive me made me believe I had BPD for several years. Even then, it didn't feel right. I felt sort of bad discussing the possibility with my friends because I still thought "but it doesn't feel as severe as they describe it..." It wasn't until my recent (and so far worst) flare up that I specifically searched for intrusive suicidal thoughts that I discovered suicide OCD is exactly everything I had been experiencing. I cried with relief, knowing I wasn't simply going crazy.

(Very triggering rant) If you’ve read a previous post of mine, my partner and I have been invited on a weekend long trip by his coworker. It’s to a comic convention, which I’ve dreamed about attending with my bf for many years now. Here’s the issue: It’s in a crime-ridden city, it’s over a duration of days, and..Well, it’s with my boyfriend. My family is painfully strict. Last year, I asked my family if my bf could visit me at my college for my last formal. I had intense paranoia leading up to asking, and my therapist had reassured me that my fears were senseless. And yet, my intrusive thoughts came true. My parents were so upset that I would even consider such a “dirty,” impure thing as inviting my bf to stay at a DIFFERENT DORM over multiple days, and to attend a dance with me. My dad insisted to me that “no man or women can ever resist temptation” (his words not mine), and concluded that I’ve clearly been sleeping around (I’m a virgin) and will get pregnant and ruin my life if he visits. After contending them on these insane accusations, I had my spending money taken away. When I asked for certain information so I could get a job to make money, I was screamed at and they refused (I wasn’t allowed to get a job until I graduated college). Eventually, it culminated in my parents threatening to disown me for “choosing to betray the family” (their words, not mine), including preventing me from contacting my sisters. They told me they were ashamed of me, that I had become God-less because of my boyfriend, that I’m not even the same person. I was silent from shock. My parents did not like that. And so they lied to my sisters and told them that I was willing to give them up for my bf, which I never said. That one action drove me over the edge. I gave in. Immediately my parents were all loving and sweet. That sudden shift was terrifying. It reminded me of television, it was that unsettling. Now, a year later, I want to ask to go to this event, but I’m TERRIFIED. Not of them saying no (because I figure they will say no), but of what could happen if I EVEN ASKED. My boyfriend wants me to stand up to my parents and ask, but I think it’s a horrible idea. I don’t think my boyfriend quite understands what I went through last year. It was TRAUMATIZING. My family pretends last year didn’t exist. They haven’t brought it up since. But bringing this new trip up, well, that could unearth everything. I’m terrified.

Anyone please help !!!!!! How deal with checking things and when u look at it's okay but ur mind not ready to accept like When u off the stove of the gas u can see the flames goes off the sound u heard from the button and the positioning of the button....still u look closely to it and try to figure it out...is it actually off or not !! how to deal this...