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Does anyone else worry that you or others they have confessed to or sought reassurance from are downplaying or minimizing things that are actually a problem or bad? How do you know for sure if you downplaying something that is bad?

I hope this post can find someone who is currently going through false memory ocd. I just want to say, I have been dealing with false memory OCD for the past two months. I’ve gotten into depression because of it. But today, I had an awakening that truly made me wake up from this nightmare. Call me weird, but I sat in my living room couch and pictured myself as how I was without OCD or its thinking patterns. I also pictured myself as how I am now with OCD tendencies. I started to conversate about what I am currently going through and I was just able to step out of that ocd bubble and stepped out as a normal person with normal thinking behaviors and let me tell you I laughed. I was so in that head space of not having the agony of fear and anxiety weighing over my head at that moment, instead I felt ‘free’ like when I did when I didn’t have OCD. My point here is, today I realized how much OCD can ruin your life and distort memories in this case. In terms of false memory or OCD adding stuff to a memory, it’s so funny how we fall into that trap. This may sound harsh, but realistically you just know when you do something bad or if you didn’t. Yes, bad memory can come into play and other natural/normal things. But a person with OCD with good memory, come on, don’t we see that our ENEMY is doubt. Your brain is just naturalized to grasp onto things that point out. For example, my real event OCD memory is about that I had an intrusive thought to be friendly to a guy behind my boyfriend’s back. All I can think ‘with ocd tendencies’ did i just act on that, did I smile more when I had that thought because I was smiling during this. See what I mean, a person with no OCD would come to me and say you just know. I didn’t go out of my way and start having a conversation with this guy, simply although my ocd finds it hard to grasp on to this but I was just smiling to whatever the guy was saying and this thought came in the midst that’s all. I realized that the ‘ what if’s’ are simple fears. There are no ‘what if’s’ from past events im sorry. It’s a simple yes or no because you just feel it within yourself. I also realized people with OCD over stretch things. For example, the day of my false memory I told my boyfriend that the thought was about flirting when I know it felt as being friendly because I wanted to give him worst case scenario. Not only that but I came across this YouTube video that distorted it more for me. This doctor on YouTube said ‘ you tend to remember a memory best, when you remember it the first time. I had an immense amount of anxiety now asking myself if the thought felt flirtation. But I will not let a video or no man come and torment it more for me. We have to be careful with things we hear and watch. To continue, We have to come to realization that if you are doubting yourself and omg did I do this or did it play out like that, come on step out of that bubble and see the root of this. So much unhealed trauma that we drag with us every day. The problem is never the problem but the way we interpret situations and how much of a big deal we make it when it’s so small. You know yourself and you know when you do bad things or not. It makes you unstable to sit here and doubt your every action. Accept for the things that you do and move on and stop dwelling on the what ifs. God has not called us to be double-minded but single-minded. The Bible says ‘ a double minded man is unstable in all his ways’ James 1:8. You got this, sit yourself as a person with a normal thinking pattern or who you used to be without OCD and picture yourself with your ocd tendencies in front of you and talk it out. God is with you, we can do this. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

I see on tiktok and social media all the time that relationships are only hard if you are with the wrong person. I’ve only dated one other person before my current boyfriend and things weren’t smooth sailing all the time but maybe a little better just because we were long distance for most of it. However my current boyfriend is a much better guy than my ex was. But anyways I find myself getting so overstimulated and annoyed with my current boyfriend and I worry that since I’m not happy a lot of the time because he annoys me or if we argue that he isn’t the one. I’ve never been able to tell if I’m in love and I think it’s because of ROCD. However I’m just curious if it’s like a for sure dealbreaker if relationships seem hard or if it could just be me and my ocd that makes it feel so hard even if he is the right one for me. He really is super kind and helpful and we have pretty much all of the same values. Im just worried that since we argue (nothing like crazy or out of line) and he drives me crazy sometimes that maybe he isn’t the one.

I just feel a complete weirdo for my actions, I’ve made mistakes with females and I’m scared I went too far this one night on my own intoxicated and feel I done something horrible, what shall I do

I have a Big fear of pregnancy/childbirth/newborns. My partner wants kids of his own and adopt but I’d rather just adopt. I feel like I like the idea of it sometimes and now it’s terrible fear. I’m also on my cycle so I know that affects OCD too. I feel like I get some validation from knowing my partner wants kids with me like I’m of value and wanted but then when faced with the reality of having kids in the near future it haunts me. My reasons seem more irrational though. From body dysmorphia in pregnancy to the pain and complications of birth, I also hate hospitals. I also deal with people pleasing a lot so that works it’s way in too. The way it’s portrayed on social media doesn’t help either. My own past with mental health, fear, the way my own family was dysfunctional, trauma and ptsd has definitely put my mind in a one track thinking of fear. I know fear just needs reframing most of the time and I feel better about things once it clicks. I know this is probably related to OCD bc it seems irrational and I have a skewed perspective on most things in life bc of it. For me, I feel really sad and grievous even about having a newborn, it feels like the end of my life and my own survival and the start of bondage. But for some reason I want to adopt or foster and raise kids anyways so I don’t know why I fear my own kids. Weird to say but I always felt like these things were out of reach for me and my own life would end with me like not beyond anyone else like kids. Even calling myself a mom feels weird bc to me there is only one mom my mom. I guess it sounds like I just need to warm up to a new reality possibly? I never grew up wanting to be a mom or get married like other girls. Not that I was against it I was just too busy being a kid myself or fending for myself. I also feel in ways I’m unprepared, immature, and like how can I abandon my own need of survival which is how I felt my whole life and cater to someone else’s survival? I can’t function on my own a lot so how could I possibly be a mom? I know i cant trust myself due to OCD and the skewed beliefs and perspectives my brain adopts bc of it. Even the messiness of birth and the sensuality of motherhood makes me very uncomfortable, I’ve kinda always felt uncomfortable in my own skin and body. The idea of someone else using my body feels violating almost and like I grieve my old self in the future. I’m also a terrible perfectionist so that is a part in these fears too. So I’m just going to be journeying on my own with God to help me dismantle these fears. I can’t afford therapy anymore. I also have a terrible Interoception and gauge of my feelings so the lack of desire for kids has me concerned but I know I develop feelings and desires slower than others. I also lived life in extremes so anything in the middle feels off or numb. So right now just trying to get to the bottom of the fears and see the truth in them. These fears make me very sad and broken like something is wrong with me. I wish I didn’t feel this way or deal with this stuff and I wish I was different. I’m not content with the way I fear this and not wanting my own kids. Any advice would be very helpful. #pregnancy #birth #healthocd #rocd #newborns

Is ocd always false? How do I deal with my coming thoughts "What if its real" then it would gave me an anxiety

Long story short, I have been dealing with OCD for the past two years due to trauma I developed from texting a guy I was not supposed to during my relationship with my partner of 2 years. Ever since, I have developed obsessions and fear towards men in general. 2 months ago today, I experienced something that has been one of the worst obsessions I have encountered. I went to the gym to cancel my membership. At the counter, I encountered a guy whom seemed very friendly and outgoing. By the start, I felt weirded out because I’m like okay this guy is friendly. I was being nice and chill without being so hard on myself. In the midst of me smiling to something the guy was saying, I get a thought of ‘ be friendly behind your boyfriends back’. I was terrified and that whole situation just felt wrong. Willingly, I told my partner and he tells me to move on and it’s okay. As an OCD person, I have tendencies of telling my boyfriend worst case scenario or being extra about stuff ( making things worse than what they are). Long story short, I have gotten over that situation. Now what I haven’t gotten over was from what I said. The day that this happened, I was telling my partner about this situation and looking back at our messages, I seen that I said the thought was about ‘ to flirt behind my boyfriends back’. Obviously that is unacceptable, especially if I said what if I smiled alittle more because of that. I remember a couple of weeks ago, I would scroll right pass this message and think to myself confidently ( I was overstretching that thought, it was about being friendly). Not until 2 weeks ago, I seen this doctor on a YouTube video who said you tend to remember a memory almost perfectly the very first time you recall it. So I’m like, I said that about the thought being flirtatious the day of and so am I going crazy. So yeah, ever since I seen that stupid video I have been overly examining trying to remember how the thought felt. Although I said that, I have some memory of overstretching and I also know that I recall the thought about being friendly not to flirt. Any help with learning how to trust yourself with memories? Do you guys think that it’s just silly ocd always putting doubt on everything? Please help!!!

Lately i have been struggling with the idea of my S/O carrying on a relationship somewhere else. I have been throw a ton of failed and hopeless relationships and i always know the signs when people wish to move on or move into a different direction. Lately i have been struggling to remove my trauma away from his natural responses. EXAMPLE: Him saying that he is working a double. In his brain it’s just him working a double but in my brain a MILLION different equations are running. I have been discussing these feelings with him in the best possible way a human can but it just seems to not be clicking. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. Whenever i feel something out of array and i ask him if this is how he feels and he gets frustrated with me for even mentioning or constantly bringing it up. I know that it hurts to constantly be accused and be constantly asked the same question but i don’t know what else to do. He keeps saying that he wants me to open up but when i do it just seems to make him frustrated. Last night he even said that he thinks i need to speak with someone or we have to work on this because its becoming to much on his mental health. How do i handle this? Im trying to remove these thoughts and feelings and i am trying to bring the most positivity that i can but I’m finally starting to put a uanessacry weight that is causing him to struggle as well. I never wanted to do this with him. I have never had planned too. But here i am self sabotaging and traumatizing the world with my issues. I have a therapy session (first one ever) at 7 today. He doesn’t know about it……….

So I had a good day yesterday but last night and today I've been ruminating over what I could have done better and what I messed up and it's basically ruining my memory of the day by making the less good stuff bigger in my mind than the good stuff. I'll have to bring this up with my therapist but in the meantime, does anyone have any thoughts on how to better focus on the good aspects?

i think my mind is accepting the thoughts in my head. I don’t wanna be gay i wanna feel like my old self again. I keep getting groinal responses to men and i cant find women attractive anymore. But all my life i have loved women and all i have ever wanted was a girlfriend. i need help

Does anyone else think of their ocd as like, a separate entity? I do, and I think it’s helped me a lot. I feel like it kind of is a parasite sometimes, especially with intrusive thoughts. What do you guys think?

the past week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life i tried to kms a couple times and i just cut myself really bad but what caused this all is my mind saying ive done something wrong even though i haven’t. I’ve asked many people they said i haven’t done anything wrong i even asked my parents and i know the answer but my body can’t seem to accept it. There’s genuinely something so wrong with me and i’m so tired of living.

Would quitting my porn addiction help with hocd? I believe it's becoming a reassurance compulsion, as I go on to prove to myself I am straight by watching straight porn. But then I find myself noticing the dude and checking to see if I find him attractive. Which continues the cycle of continuing to try to prove I am not attracted. I've been struggling with hocd for about a year and a half, it's been Hell every second of it. I never had questioned my sexuality before this, not once and I had been obsessed with girls every since I started to notice them. I so badly want to find a nice lady and have a big family and the thought of being gay scares me so much. I just can't beat this thing. Maybe quitting porn is the answer? I am so drained from this fucking thing, I miss me before hocd, I'd give anything to go back to before this.

I’m looking for an exposure to do when I see my partner and don’t feel physically attracted to him. I used to use photos when I was picking up on particular features on his face. They were very useful, but now they are no longer as distressing for me. I am now getting more distressed as a whole seeing his face rather than particular features. Any suggestions?

I always feel like my fears are coming true. I’m so scared of reality

Why does it feel like I want to harm someone? Why does it feel so real? What if I want this???? I’m not even focused on the actual thoughts like the images I can’t even real imagine anything it’s just the feeling that comes with it or like “the what if you WANT to?”

I put a trigger warning on this for people who have scrupulosity just in case. I have religious OCD and it is really hard to go through. It goes “f you Jesus” “sorry God I didn’t mean that I love you” “f the devil I love Jesus” “I hate the devil I love Jesus” “I love the devil” “no that’s not true I’m sorry God I didn’t mean that” “f you Satan” in my head all day. And then I’ll be listening to the radio and listening to KLove (which is a Christian radio station) and I’ll have what I call contradictory thoughts which is when one or many of my thoughts contradicts the truth of God. Because it will be that Jordan Feliz song and he’ll say “the king is alive” and my brain will say “no he isn’t” and it will send me into an annoyed spiral. “Yes He is I’m sorry Jesus I know you’re alive”. If anyone else goes through something similar to this please let me know so I can feel less alone.

I think I have relationship OCD. I will be doing great with my boyfriend then out of no where I get this intrusive thought that he thinks other people are attractive and has a wandering eye for others and I need reassurance immediately. And when he gives me reassurance, I think he’s lying. After like an hour of back and forth repetitive conversation I feel better, then the next day it happens again. Every. Single. Day. I freak out and blow up and need reassurance. I can’t tell if I’m getting these thoughts because they are true or because I’ve been with someone in the past who has cheated on me so I believe that all people get these thoughts. I’m so ready for a cure. Does anyone know what to do? I don’t want to live with this

So I dropped my phone in the toilet yesterday, and everything seems to pretty much work properly, but I can’t help but keep thinking what if it’s not working properly, what if something is working slower, what if the audio doesn’t work right etc. And like what if it’s not clean after being in the toilet even though I washed it to death. Someone please help and tell me if this is just my OCD, these thoughts will not stop and I’m stressed out.

I am 21 and just received an OCD diagnosis. I go through phases of intense obsessions and compulsions, usually involving panic attacks. My last severe obsession was health related, and my current obsession centres on my relationship — an intense fear that I secretly do not love my partner and an overwhelming urge to escape the relationship. I remember when I was a child, my obsession was a fear of violence: every stranger felt to me like a threat, and so I compulsively avoided danger in various ways (walking in zig zag line, crossing the street multiple times on my way home.) Receiving a diagnosis, while scary, has been a true relief. Finally, I understand myself a bit better. I understand why I can’t let go of thoughts that I logically know are ridiculous. I understand why my panic is not a 30 minute episode, but prolonged, lasting days. I understand what the work ahead of me is. Though flare-ups are some of the most painful experiences I have been through (psychologically exhausting, and physically sickening), I am feeling hopeful. While I continue to work on ERP and mindfulness, I am aware of how much more control I am gaining over my attention. I am realizing that this is an illness treated by learning to listen to others, regulate my mind, and choose peace. Once I have the space to apply those skills beyond my immediate obsessions, I feel I will be an all around better person for it. I don’t mean at all to say that this illness is a blessing — I do not consider it advantageous by any stretch. That being said, the only joy I ever find during these difficult episodes are when I feel hopeful. If anybody has any victories, big or small, that they would like to share, I would love to hear them. Hope is a powerful tool. Community is a powerful tool. I hope everyone else learning to manage this illness can use them to our advantage.