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Has anyone's ROCD caused trouble in the relationship in regards to talking about marriage? It's caused a lot of problems for me. And it turn, it causes her to doubt and then that comes back to me as full blown OCD. It's really difficult

hiya, it's been a while because i was finally getting better.im a straight girl and i've been dealing with so-ocd severely for about a year now. i originally used to obsess over this one girl at my school and it was so bad and literally interfered with everything. after lots and lots of patience and avoiding compulsions i got over that false attraction and i felt myself be okay again. this year i have developed another attachment to someone, and im struggling all over again. also i thought id share that i experience friend crushes which is where you just wanna become closer to someone if that makes sense. anyways originally i was experiencing that and then my ocd keeps telling me what if its more and what if i am gay? i've completely forgot what it felt like but the thing is, it feels so real!!! i feel excited to see her and wanna be around her but everytime i freak out and obsess about the thought i could like her as more then a friend. deep down i know i don't because i don't feel any romantic feelings and i shouldn't feel such negative emotions and anxiety if it wasn't my ocd. i am so sorry for the rant but im back to square one. 😭😭

i figured it’s better to reach out than to keep this buried. if you have anything—resources, insights, advice—that could help me, please send it my way. anything that might bring clarity, support, or even the smallest sense of direction would mean a lot. diagnosed Borderline w/ OCD July 29th i haven’t written in quite some time. journaling, once a refuge, became a mirror i no longer wished to face—each entry echoing the same obsessions, amplifying them, feeding their rhythm. i lost the spontaneity, the irregular cadence that once made expression feel free. instead, it became a ritual of rumination. recently, i’ve begun making small, deliberate changes—adjustments wherever i feel the pull. i’m starting to understand that who i am is an ever-shifting convergence of thought and temperament. my personality isn’t fixed; it’s a reflection of my internal weather. tracking my moods has helped illuminate certain patterns, revealing how my triggers unfold—but pinpointing those triggers remains elusive. the inconsistency, that quiet turbulence within, makes it difficult. there’s always a friction between my need for comfort and my hunger for transformation. i’ve always judged that contradiction in others—yet here i am, mirroring it. i’ve slowly dismantled many of my defenses, not out of strength, but out of exhaustion. in surrendering control, i’ve made room for meaning. for once, i’m not chasing perfection—I’m chasing something that feels true. psychology is calling to me. it feels like a path that might finally align with the way i think and feel. i’m changing schools, moving in with my father for a while. i need distance from this space that has become both a sanctuary and a cell. my environment dictates so much of my being. that’s how i know: if i can shift the world around me, i can begin to reshape the world within. i’m tired of this ache, this heaviness that keeps finding me no matter where i go. there’s still a part of me that longs to disappear into it—to wrap myself in the numbness, to retreat into that dark shell i’ve outgrown but never quite left behind. but i know now that denying my humanity only deepens my suffering. this endless attempt to regulate every thought, every impulse—it’s tearing me apart in slow, invisible ways. each obsession is a tiny collapse. i pray for the still moments, the ones where i’m not paying for the chaos inside me. i want to take responsibility, i truly do, but none of this feels like something i chose. i didn’t ask for this. i never would have. nothing so far has brought me the fulfillment i crave. i need to rebuild—to design a life rooted in stability, in truth. but it’s hard when i wake up feeling like a different version of myself every day, like i’m holding court with a rotating cast of souls, each demanding a different truth. i hope therapy can help me unburden all of this. i want more than survival. i want peace. i want joy. i want to be loved in a way that doesn’t feel conditional, and i want to love back without the fear that i’m incapable of giving what i receive. i want to be able to hold my instability in my hands and say: i am not afraid of you anymore. but that courage flickers. depending on my mood, my willingness to change rises and falls like a tide. i remain, at my core, a frightened child—haunted by the same small, inconsequential fears. i don’t know why i want to live, and that unsettles me. i don’t know why i long for connection, and that unsettles me too. i just want to emerge from this with something real, something that belongs wholly to me. i’m tired of being fragmented. i’m tired of being stuck in this cycle of becoming and unraveling. i want to belong to myself. i just don’t know what that truly means.

Hi all it’s been a bit since I’ve posted. I’ve been doing ok ish Today has been weird, idk if it’s cuz I upped my vyvanse to 20mg and it’s making me anxious or if everything is just colliding rn It feels like idk myself anymore. I’ve been flipping between ROCD, soocd and tocd the last couple of days/weeks. Rn I just feel horrible and idk why but I’ve been on my period for 11 days now. My period usually lasts 7. When I’m not on birth control. I’ve been on birth control since October of last year and hadn’t had a period till coming home end of April/early may and now it’s back again. I’ve been ranting to chat gpt (Ik it’s bad, I just didn’t know who to turn to) Rn I’m just really in my head about my gender and I’m anxious and crying and I just don’t feel good. Context for tonight’s thought I was doing my skincare, I’ve been trying to develop a routine cuz I’m bothered by the texture on my face and how it makes my makeup look. I’ve always felt less pretty than other girls tbh. Anywyas. As I was doing my skincare I had this thought just happen across my mind of “what if I dislike my skin and face so much cuz I’m trans? What if the reason I’ve been depressed lately is cuz I’m slowly becoming dysphoric and hating myself?” When in fact I think the issue is: I haven’t seen my bf in a month and a bjt. I’ve been bleeding for 11 days. I’m in summer classes and stressed about the comjng semester and how much work I have to do to catch up cuz I’m in pre med and I’ve been fucking slacking lately and I truly hate myself for it. I miss being hugged by my bf. I’ll admit I need a good dicking down tbh. My brother is a whole other story while I’m home. I just feel. Gross and bad. And I’m worried I’m trans. I’m worried I’m a lesbian or smthn. I’m worried I don’t love my bf deeply enough and it’s all just circling in my head a lot and I just feel like curling into a ball. I’ve always been a tomboy, I mostly hung out with boys cuz the girls never liked me. I was weird. I loved dragons. I had imaginary friends. At one point as a kid I tried a different name, I think it just didn’t fit and I grew out of that and just went back to my normal name. But now I’m worried I just repressed that. But I see a lot of girls who also went through the same thing and are also just women. But I’m so scared that I’m “not letting the TV glow” like that trend (that shit made me so anxious. I have trans friends and I love them but im scared of it for myself) I feel still sorta tomboyish but dress feminine, once in a blue moon ill dress semi masculine and now I’m worried that means im either trans or a lesbian who wants to be masc. but I’m not. I don’t think I am Idk who I am anymore. Idk if it’s just ocd or if im actually discovering smthn Im just anxious as hell tbh. So I don’t think that’s the case. I’m just sitting here. Looping in my head. My typical “drown out the noise” tv shows won’t load properly cuz of our new wifi and it’s really irritating me. What if I’ve been lying every time I try to do a “are you trans/genderfluid/non binary?” quiz. What if I’ve been lying to my bf. My friends? My family? I keep thinking to myself, if I wasn’t with my bf would I dress the same? Yes I would. I’d still wear my cardigans. My sweaters. My dresses. I’d try out new styles like I want to rn with him. I’m just worried that teying smthn would make me realize smthn about myself but I don’t think it would. Idk. I’m just in all these irrational thoughts. Jumping to conclusions Any advice would be appreciated. I mostly just needed to vent about this.

I’m spiraling right now because I don’t want my partner to cheat on me in the near future or think about anyone else 😭 I know it’s normal to find others attractive but I don’t want my partner doing it to other people or cheating on me and never telling me I’m sorry I saw someone else post now I’m tripping out right now that my partner may have done that to me I want to be single for life

i'm a lesbian, i was sure of this for many years, until soocd started messing with me around a month ago. it's hard because lesbians with soocd aren't well documented and it's hard to find similar experiences from others. i hate this, my mind is telling me it's not ocd and that i actually like men. i don't even know if i wouldn't like it. i guess that's accepting uncertainty but i don't want to like men. i want to marry my girlfriend. i don't want to be with a man but my mind doesn't let me feel anything regarding that, neither good nor bad, and i cannot tell if i enjoy that thought or don't like it. it's horrible. i'm so exhausted. i get groinal reactions too which i've never even had before this subtype flared up because im on the asexual spectrum. it's insane. has anyone else had any similar experiences?

So been trying to do erp with my therapist for a while now, and tis really hard and feels like it's not working. Il get this weird sensation or feeling that makes me feel"gay" or as if I'm attracted to someone, and I know my therapist keeps telling me" you don't have to put meaning into the thoughts or feelings" but that seems impossible to do because and I'm sorry to say, it makes me feel that specific way. And I'll use the Erp quotes, "maybe maybe not" or"the more I struggle, the worse it gets" or"these feelings and thoughts are here, but I'm choosing to let them be" and I'll do nothing and try to let it be here but it's so distracting and feels very real, and it's like this sensation, small or big and it last all day, and even just sitting with it isn't working. And my therapist will tell me"you don't have to believe in it" and I'm sorry I feel like if it were that easy, OCD would have never been a problem in the first place, or live with uncertainty, however it doesn't feel like uncertainty, but feels very truthful or valid. Idk what I'm doing wrong tho

is it possible to ONLY have rocd and only experience it for the first time in your 20's?? maybe i had ocd growing up and i just didn't know but i still don't really know where i would've had it, but it feels like this came out of no where and my life isn't my own anymore

Soooo I’m over here just trying to make it to my next NOCD appt before breaking things off with a guy I’m getting to know 😞 it’s hard for me to tell if I’m having genuine concerns about compatibility, or if I’m spiraling into OCD. How the heck do I date someone and not consider compatibility? But I find myself going into fight or flight mode, or feeling like I need to make a decision immediately after a date, or ruminating about it all throughout the day, trying to figure out if the concerns are valid enough, if I’m settling, if I’m about to give up on something that could be beautiful…. Whenever I write out all my concerns, they don’t really seem like that big of a deal, or seem like things we could talk through. The biggest concern for me is whether we are compatible in the sense that talking comes easy or we feel comfortable around each other. But we’ve only been on 3 dates so it’s hard to tell. Things are still awkward sometimes. I am also autistic and this complicated things with how I socialize. So I told myself “just get to your NOCD appt in a few days and don’t make a decision til then. You can talk about it with them then.” It’s only my second appt tho, so I’m not even sure what they discuss at appt#2 and if we’ll have time to talk about it. I guess I’m just getting this off my chest right now and I appreciate this community where I can be honest 😔💛 (Added TW because I’m not sure if it would be for others)

Hello! I don't know if someonecan help me clarify if this is part of OCD. I've suffered from the condition since I was a child and have experienced many subtypes. But right now, I have a thought that bothers me the most. It has to do with my sister. Is it normal for us to have obsessions with scrupulosity and to create dilemmas about actions someone we love would or wouldn't do as a symptom? I feel like this need for moral perfection is in my sister, and I think if she knows I thought badly of her, she'll never forgive me and my world will end.

i have always been a pretty doubtful and overthinking person all my life, but i have never had bad ocd until something happened in my current relationship i met my boyfriend senior year of highschool, we started off as friends first but then would text all night and found out we have a lot in common, he still lived at his parents house at the time, i'd go over to his or he'd come over to mine sometimes, your typical teen romance story, my rocd didn't start acting up till we started getting serious fast forward to when i started working at my old job and met this guy who pretty much love bombed me, i didn't know it at the time, and so i lost myself during that time trying to balance everyone's feelings, i ended up hurting my current boyfriend really badly and ever since ive had raging rocd, every second of every day i cut this guy off and me and my boyfriend are still together, working it out, and then two christmases ago he gets kicked out of his house, and starts living with me and my family, a huge change i wasn't ready for but it happened my family loves my boyfriend, everyone i've ever introduced him to also does, he truly is an angel, he's so sweet and good to me, i've met all his friends and he's met mine, i could picture a life with him, but currently my rocd is too much to bear, id be better alone but im so deep in this now it's crippling, i can't hangout with my friends without rocd, cant wake up without rocd, cant think of anything without rocd, i cant eat or sleep, life feels like it's no longer real, the relief of breaking up with my boyfriend would free me, but i cant bring myself to, ive tried multiple times, i might just be a coward because i dont want to hurt him again, i dont want to lose him, but ive lost myself, this rocd is driving me insane lets say I break up with my boyfriend, he already got kicked out of his old house and I do not want him to have to feel like he's got to be kicked out again, this is his home now and I just couldn't do that to him, my family would lose someone they see as a son, and I would have to watch him move his stuff which would make me so sad because I care so much for him, I would even move out just so he doesn't have to the thing is I really can't put myself through this anymore, I have to put myself first or this will kill me, idk what to do maybe i could talk to him about how bad my ocd is, tell him that i really have tried to push through but i need a break, maybe we could be friends and work it out? i hope so

I feel like I really need help right now. I keep reminiscing on my old relationship and comparing it to my current one. For context, within my old relationship I had been with him for a pretty awful year and 3 months. Within the first 3 months I realized that I didn't actually want to be with him, but I felt sorry for him. So, I stupidly started self sabotaging the relationship. I know that it was stupid, and I tried to break up with him but every time I felt bad. His mental health was already bad and I hate any possibility that I can make someone's mental health worse. That whole "relationship" was so toxic on both ends though. All of that alone has me so messed up. But with that I also had this false attraction to him. Like, I would always be figuring out what I wanted in a relationship and tried to do that with him despite knowing that I didn't actually want to be with him. Now my mind keeps trying to convince me that I'm doing that with my current relationship. I know that I'm not. This one feels genuine and it's pretty healthy. We have our bumps, but we both have this want to fix it and it's just so nice. I hate that my brain is trying to ruin this for me.

This is about OCD but also I just want to rant, I feel very lonely at times. My dad died when I was very young & as the oldest daughter I feel like I’ve had to be strong my entire life. My friends & family love and support me but for some reason I’ve never felt comfortable being vulnerable or discussing my feelings. Everyone tells me I’m the person they go to for advice/support but I have never once opened up to anyone, it almost feels impossible to do so. I mask so well that none of my friends or family know I struggle. No one has ever seen me cry. Also, as a college student with a small group of friends who go out of state, I don’t have many friends in my area so that contributes to feeling isolated. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, & ADHD. As long as I can remember I’ve felt like a bad person and undeserving of love unless i prove myself by being good or useful. I try to keep myself working, volunteering & double majoring in school to feel worthy of love. I genuinely do love life & am so thankful because I feel very blessed. I have good friends & family. But I also feel isolated. (Ik I isolate myself but at the same time I don’t know how to stop). Anyways back in December I broke up with my bf who I had dated for yearsss. He really violated my trust & cheated on me after making me feel crazy for so long & swearing he would never betray me again. It hurt deeply. But ofc I handled it the only way I know how. By being strong. I self isolated. I didn’t tell any of my friends for weeks that we broke up and when I did, I didn’t tell them why (to preserve his image). No one saw how badly it hurt me. To everyone else I seemed fine. I started coping with it in embarrassing ways. I had casual sex with multiple people very quickly that clearly only wanted that from me & didn’t care about me as a person. I am ashamed of this. I’ve stopped meeting new people and decided that’s not the way I want to be and I want to put my energy into healthy outlets. But sometimes in moments of weakness I have had relations with past people (wanting to feel loved & desired & wanted). Anyways my recent theme of OCD has been health + morality related, specifically the fear that I have an STD. I started having some bodily sensations (that i’ve had in the past & aren’t STD related) and started worrying that I may have an STD. When I get health anxiety, I sometimes avoid doctors. I did that for about a month but finally scheduled an appt for Monday. But now the guilt is eating at me and saying “what if you had an STD this whole time & knowingly gave it to others bc you avoided doctors?” That causes me a lot of guilt & shame. I know this is OCD so I’m trying not to ask for reassurance. Sorry that was so long, this is the first time I’ve ranted in a very long time. I just want someone to see me.

i have been dealing with anxiety and ocd like symptoms for the my whole life but they’ve gotten worse the past 2-3 years. im not diagnosed nor on any medications. my boyfriends has been with me nearly every step of the way of this anxiety and is a great help to me. i was raised in a family where anxiety is “just part of life” and everytime i try to talk to my parents about it they shut me down saying things like “i get anxious too” or “you need to work out more”. while i’ve tried to do the things they recommend, eating healthy, working out, staying off my phone, my anxiety is very much still there. i experience obsessions and compulsions frequently but have just learned to deal with them because i had to. they’re also not always constant anymore, i do have days without anxiety. my boyfriend has recently started lexapro and is on 5 milligrams for his own anxiety and he said that he feels so much better even after just two weeks and he thinks it wouldn’t be a bad idea to try to get on it myself. i agreed at first but after talking to my parents they again made me feel like my anxiety wasn’t bad enough or that i was making it up and that i didn’t need medication, i just needed to learn how to manage. yesterday i had another conversation with my boyfriend about this and he said he felt really bad about all the stuff i go through. (this anxiety and also some physical issues which is either EDS or POTS) but to me, and how my parents think of the whole situation, i think im fine “because its just part of life” now im afraid that im shutting out my own emotions bc thats how my parents think i should be. i just don’t know what to do. i know my bf is right and that im not a liar and everything i experience is real but i’ve gotten so good at living with it and its not as often that its debilitating that i don’t think i deserve medication. i don’t even know if its actually ocd because im not diagnosed but i talk to my brother and one of my friends (who are diagnosed) and we go through the same things. idk what to do or how to feel. i know my bf is worried about me but i don’t want to be dramatic or let my anxiety control my life

Hi all. I’m writing this because I can’t stop spiraling and I don’t know who to talk to without feeling judged. I (27F) have OCD, so emotional safety and perceived red flags are something I hyper-analyze. My boyfriend (24M) and I are in a long-distance relationship, Im just on vacation right now . We’ve had our ups and downs, but overall, it’s a loving connection. That’s why this particular moment is bothering me so much. Last night, we were on a video call, flirting. At one point I said, “Go to the bathroom first,” before things got more intimate (he has a roommate and wanted privacy). After a few minutes, he came back and said, “Okay I’m alone.” But I hesitated. I was acting playfully shy and holding back. That’s when he said something like, “You said if I went to the bathroom, you’d show me something. This isn’t my (my name)—she’s not shy with me.” He said it smiling, and I was smiling too, but later it started to gnaw at me. My OCD kicked in. I started spiraling: Did that cross a line? Was that pressuring? I brought it up to him, and while he tried to be supportive, I could tell he was caught off guard. He said something like, “I’m trying my best to support you, but I feel sad that you would think I’d ever pressure you like that.” And then, in what he admitted later was a “dumb joke,” he said: “I’m not like your dad—I won’t get mad if you say no or disagree with something.” (For context: I’ve told him before about my father’s anger issues from my childhood. It’s a very sensitive topic.) I got upset and told him never to bring my father into things like that. He immediately apologized and said, “I realized it right after—that the thing I said as a joke to get you out of overthinking was serious. I’m so sorry again, and I feel really bad right now. I respect you and I respect everyone in your family.” After that, he was very gentle. We stayed on the call for a while longer, I felt heard, and we ended things with “I love you.” But today I still feel emotionally sore. Not because I think he’s abusive or manipulative—he isn’t—but because I felt something shift. He saw me cry like that for the first time, and now I feel exposed and over-analytical. My OCD brain is stuck on what if this was a red flag? Even though he apologized and explained himself, I still feel unsettled. What’s making it harder is that I haven’t even told my best friend. I usually tell her everything, but I’m scared to bring this up. I know she already has reservations about him (she’s very protective of me), and I feel like if I share this, she’ll just add it to the “reasons he’s not right for you” list. But I don’t want her judgment—I want clarity. I’m scared that sharing it will make things worse instead of better, and that’s an isolating feeling. I want this relationship to work. I don’t usually cry like that in front of people. I don’t usually feel safe enough to. And he did show up in the end. But now I don’t know how to trust myself—is this a moment to work through together, or am I ignoring something important? Would love some kind, grounded perspective. Thanks for reading.

I’ve had the feeling I had ocd ever since I found out about it at the age of eleven, I don’t want to self diagnose thought but I want to find out and I would ask a professional but I am a minor and live with my parents, my family is not from America and any disorder even stuff like depression or anxiety means crazy to them so I’m scared to talk abt it to anybody. Ever since I was like 7 I noticed that if something happens or I feel something in one part of my body I immediately have to do it to the other cause it just won’t feel right, as a kid I even explained it to my parents in the car once and asked if they feel like that sometimes too. I used the example of me accidentally touching water on one foot and then having to do it to the other or else it just isn’t fair to the other foot and I’m like evil. It’s also like that for me if I like hit my arm then I have to do it to the other too. I have many other symptoms of OCD but idk if I actually have it. For example every-time somebody leaves me on read or something I feel like they hate me and don’t wanna be friends with me anymore. Idk it just feels so weird sometimes. Also sometimes when I’m writing something maybe for school or anywhere I always have to reconsider every single sentence because what if somebody takes it the wrong way or it makes somebody mad. And sometimes I feel like the rudest and meanest person in the world. I actually don’t know if that’s an ocd thing idk at this point. edit: after thinking some other things that could be a sign of ocd might be when I was about ten or nine, for about a year I had the biggest fear of losing my mom, it came out of nowhere and I would cry begging not to go to school because my mom won’t be there bc what if she dies. I cried at tennis practice once even tho I toke it with my mom because she went to the bathroom. I was genuinely so scared idk what made it go away tho. Like whenever I had a thought of her it would immediately make me think she’s dying and I would just sob. tysm for reading!! 💕💕

So like I continue to have the thought of.. is it messed up that I allow myself to be around/friends with this guy (for various reasons). Should I tell myself maybe maybe not? Or do I need to get my partner involved? The issue is this other guy is a huge ocd trigger for me and I don’t want to bring any confessing into this

Kinda spiraling. In one of my classes there was a girl that was a senior and I was a junior. We got put in a table group of 4 next to eachother for a unit with my friend also there and some girl that I knew from orchestra. I’m now scared if I was too close to her like physically. I never touched her obviously bc that’s weird. I think I was talking to my now gf at the time or maybe even dating her I’m not sure. There was this time we had to play quiziz on our Chromebooks and we got randomly selected in a group together with me her and one of my other guy friends. I’m worried that what if we were too close physically, what if my arm was touching hers or something. I know that my friend Jack was in the middle so he needed to see the screen and I also wouldn’t have went super close to her. I’m writing this bc I’m just super worried. I never talked to her outside of that class and really outside of that unit when everyone moved tables again. Whenever our teacher did demonstrations I feel like I looked at her too much and now I’m scared, even though I just look around but I feel like my eyes went to her. I would never cheat on my gf so this whole situation is bothering me. I also one time just curiously checked if she followed me on insta and we didn’t have eachother added and I saw her bf on her profile and I was like “aww that’s cute”. What if I was acting on attraction in the classroom, I’m scared

Hello, I hope you’re having a good day. I want to share my story so I can feel a little less alone, and maybe someone out there who’s going through the same thing will know they’re not alone either. I’m 23 years old, and for as long as I can remember, I’ve been struggling with OCD and anxiety. OCD has always been a part of my life — it would come and go, get better and worse. It has had a negative impact on many aspects of my life. During the COVID pandemic, my OCD became extremely severe. I didn’t leave the house for eight months. I missed my first chance to take the university entrance exam because I was too afraid of the virus, so I lost a whole year. The anxiety and depression that followed led to severe weight gain, which then caused hormonal and endocrine problems. When I finally started university, I just couldn’t study like I used to back when I was a good student. I failed three semesters and am now on the verge of being expelled. Because of anxiety and eating disorder, I went from being a fit girl who weighed 58 kg to who I am now — I weigh 117 kg. For the past few months, I’ve been struggling with ROCD (relationship OCD). My partner and I have been together for six years. He is an amazing person who has stood by me through the worst of times, and we truly love each other. But lately, the ROCD has taken over and completely paralyzed me. It has seriously affected the quality of our relationship. It started with me obsessively checking his phone and behavior. I constantly had this irrational fear that he was cheating, even though there was no proof. I tried to silence those obsessive thoughts with logic, but they always came back — and now, for the past month, it’s been worse than ever. My ROCD has merged with my health OCD. I developed a bump on my vulva, went to the doctor, and was told it was just a regular pimple. But my OCD keeps telling me it’s genital warts or herpes — even though my partner and I have only ever been with each other sexually. Still, my mind insists that he must have cheated. He even offered to get tested and has had many calm and loving conversations with me, trying to reassure me — but my brain refuses to believe it. He really is a good man, but my OCD won’t let me feel okay or stop obsessing over these thoughts. I’m exhausted, and lately, I’ve been constantly in a state of panic.

My mind won’t let me trust that my boyfriend loves me and it’s the most frustrating thing ever. Honestly idk if this is rocd but recently we’ve been really great and our relationship has been strengthening so much. He gives me no reason to fear him leaving or anything or even cheating. He’s very loyal and has shown that he loves me. But my brain keeps pushing me away and at the smallest things he does I think maybe he doesn’t and I’m scared to fully put my all into him bc I think I’ll get hurt, every time i notice a small thing I don’t like abt him, it worries me and makes the thoughts worse. Basically to sum it up I won’t let myself just trust that he loves me and that we’ll be okay, I keep focusing on the future and what ifs like if we break up or something happens and it’s like I’m trying to protect myself from the future. It’s so stressful and annoying, I can’t predict the future so I just wish my mind would be calm and let me live my mind. No matter what I do I can’t shake off the fear.