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The things that used to make me happy? The things that used to make me sad? I don't know how to connect with those anymore. I used to be happy just looking at the sunset and nature, I loved being present in the moment but now being present in the moment is scary because now I'm faced with my thoughts and new potential ones so I'd rather distract myself. I love kballads and I used to listen to them and just cry and be happy because they sound so beautiful but now I can't embrace these things that feel like beauty because I feel like the exact opposite. The only things I can enjoy are K-drama's! But I can't watch things with kids in it. So yah that's tricky! And the things that make me sad?! Well I used to be sad and terrified about loosing my loved ones but now it's a different kind of sad. I used to be sad because of miss them and all that but now I'm scared of facing now messed up my emotions have become. I'm scared of loosing someone I love and then not being able to feel sad because I'm just numb, or even worse...if it becomes something I'm okay with or what if OCD convinces me that I'm happy about it because honestly it would be weird moving around the world with such emotions. So not only has OCD made it hard for me to enjoy the good things but also hard for me to feel sad about the sad things or just to put it short...to experience emotions normally.

I have been struggling today, most likely due to lack of sleep. I had a thought that I would consider intrusive, but what really unsettled me was that I felt like I liked it, **not just in the sense that I lacked anxiety over it, but that I genuinely felt like I wanted it.** It left me feeling really confused. It happened during intimacy, which makes it even more unsettling. The thought was incestuous, I found myself imagining and comparing the moment with my boyfriend to my father :/, and what really alarms me is that I felt like I wanted it there, both mentally and physically. I was having a really nice time, so maybe the physical sensations got mixed in somehow, but it still worries me. I did my best not to ruminate in the moment and avoided checking. I tried to move on, but the feeling of genuinely liking the thought was so clear that it is hard to shake off. Has anyone else experienced something similar? This is one of the first times it has ever happened to this extent.

this is me being very vulnerable today. i’m struggling with thoughts of my abortion i had 2 years ago. i was 11 weeks pregnant. it was a very difficult decision and a very hard time mentally for me , as the guy i was with was very controlling. i was on and off with him all through high school and we dated on and off as well then we moved in together , i got pregnant almost immediately after we moved in together. it’s something i never seem to have healed from nor have i spoke to a professional about my grief due to it either. i had the abortion with a previous boyfriend and now that im in a new relationship its hard to talk about it so i don’t bring it up because i don’t want him to think i still want my ex. i’m having lots of negative thoughts and emotions today and feel like id be better off gone. i keep telling myself it’s better to regret not having kids then to regret having them. my minds just all over the place , i’m all flustered, i feel sick and sweaty and just not myself at all today. just need someone to talk to…

Tmi warning I was being intimate with my bf and I kept getting the name of someone else pop up, but I didn’t feel anxious. Afterwards, as much as I tried to delay confessing, I couldn’t help it. I confessed. My bf was fine he said I probably didn’t feel anxious because I’ve gotten used to the anxiety and it’s okay, it doesn’t define me any more than it would if I was anxious. A few minutes later, he got upset and said that the confession kinda ruined a blissful moment. I’m so upset that my head feels so turbulent I didn’t even notice it was a blissful moment for him and could’ve been for me. I feel so awful. I haven’t slept in a day, I can’t stop crying. My bf is afraid that because this specific name keeps popping up, it might mean something and he feels less than sometimes because of it. I know I shouldn’t have confessed but I felt so safe that it was like a dam broke loose. I feel so awful. What’s worse is that I’m still scared it means something, I’m scared that my boyfriend’s fear is right. He’s very understanding of OCD and how it manifests in me and everything, I think I just kinda messed up a sacred moment and I feel so much guilt and confusion and just horrendous. I’m not even fully anxious. I don’t know what to do. I apologized a lot but I feel like I don’t deserve him and so selfish

I used to always think that my partner used to cheating with me. I do doubt her even though she always clear that she used to love me. She clear that she is not cheating with me and she is busy for her job. That's running our relation. Sometime i thought i should break-up or block her from every where. I feel pressure, anxiety and didn’t proper sleep. What should i do now from recover myself from this? I do overthink about this and it's always negative.

Good morning everyone, I need some opinions or help on what people might think is wrong. March 2024 is when I started questioning everything about my relationship for no reason he is everything that I wanted, but my mind is trying to tell me that it isn't April 2024 was probably one of the worst times of my life I stayed home from work because I was constantly crying and totally sick because I didn't know what to do. The thoughts slowly started to not bother me as much. I feel like since it ever started I never have gotten that. Love feeling back for my boyfriend, but I want it back so bad because when I did have it, it was absolutely amazing. I have no desire to kiss him or be intimate with him either which also scares me fast-forward to today. I am waking up with so many doubts in questioning myself. Is this ever gonna go away or am I ever gonna feel that love back for my boyfriend ever again? I feel like I'm wasting his time and my time because it feels never ending. I went to a therapist shortly after starting to deal with this and she didn't really seem to help so now on Wednesday I have a new therapist that specializes in OCD I think does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much in advance.

i feel like I can’t even enjoy time with my boyfriend anymore. No matter what we do, I’m constantly analyzing, checking, and questioning if I love him, if I feel anything, if I even want to be with him. It’s exhausting. I don’t feel happy, I don’t feel present, and I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve read about ERP, and I know it’s supposed to help, but I don’t know how to start. I feel like my fears are too real, like maybe this isn’t just ROCD—maybe I actually don’t love him, and I’m just scared to accept it. It feels like I’m lying to myself. I know my compulsions: I constantly check my feelings, analyze past memories, compare my relationship to others, and seek reassurance. I know I’m supposed to stop doing these things, but what do I do instead? What do I do when the thoughts hit me with full force and I feel completely numb? I’m scared to sit with the uncertainty. I’m scared that if I stop checking, I’ll realize I don’t love him. I want to do ERP, but I don’t even know where to begin. Has anyone successfully gone through this? How do you deal with the fear when it feels so real?

I feel like I want to break up with my partner and go off and experience things like falling in love and butterflies and magic again. My partner is my home and my family and my rock and we’re compatible but sometimes it feels like I have these unfulfilled needs. And then ocd comes in and SCREAMS about these things and pulls me away from my partner. We’ve been together ten years. It says leave leave leave leave leave. And I feel like deep down I don’t want to stay. But I know love is a choice. How can I choose to stay when my body is screaming rub. I know I have ocd, and this is what ocd feels like, and I also have a lot of trauma regards to attachment. Am I being a coward??? Will this ever end?

do u get a fear that after the intrusive feelings (false attraction) that you will Get romantic feelings after this all ends? because i do. especially bc i was hyperfixated on the guy in the past

I just started my new job maybe a couple months ago and I’m officially off orientation. I had a couple shifts by myself but the anxiety I feel being alone is honestly beastly. I keep getting scared that I’ll end up giving my patients someone else’s medications, keep having thoughts of “what if I give patient A medications to patient C.” My hair keeps falling out, I get such bad pre work and post work anxiety. On my days off all I think about is work. It’s taking a toll on my mental health and my relationship with my boyfriend. I am mad and stressed all the time. I’m just so tired and I honestly feel like I’m getting depressed. I want to stick it out a couple more months so I can get a job somewhere that’s not in a hospital. I just feel so stuck and scared all the time. If anyone else is a nurse with OCD what did you do to help with your anxiety and OCD?

I just had a panic attack. It feels too real. It feels like I don’t have feelings for him anymore. Why is this happening? Why don’t I feel anything? Why don’t I love him? Why am I even questioning whether I ever loved him in the first place? I’ve been stuck in this for so long that I’m starting to believe it’s the truth. What if I feel this way because I just don’t want to accept that I don’t like him? What if I led him on this entire time? When I talk to him, I feel nothing. I’m not interested in anything. I can’t have conversations with him, I can’t kiss him, I just feel numb and fake. I feel horrible. What is happening to me? How did I get here? Why don’t I feel okay? I don’t understand what I feel. I feel like I’m lying to myself, like I’m stuck in this terrifying loop. I also feel like I don’t even care that I’m hurting him. I know he’s upset, and I know this is affecting him too, but I feel nothing about it. I don’t know why. It’s like something is blocking me from feeling anything. I know I should care. I know I love him. So why do I feel like I don’t? I feel so lost. I feel like I’ve changed. I don’t recognize myself anymore. What if this is real? I just want to feel normal again. i dont understand what is happening. i fear i didn’t love him ever because these thoughts started in the 4th month of us being together. in two months we make 2 years. am i leading him on? im a horrible person. i dont understand .

I’m involved in a relationship with someone I’ve been with for 4 years, I love him with everything I am however recently these past few months between a year or two I’ve felt very detached from him and I fear I’m falling out of love with him, last night I had a very intimate encounter over the phone with a coworker I’ve developed feelings for…. I could really use some advice I’m not sure what to do as part of me wishes to be single but the other part of me feels god awful for leaving my partner …

hi everyone 👋🏻 This is less of an ROCD post but I urgently need advice because i feel like i can't think straight. My bf and I are together for almost 3 years. Ive gained over 10kg over the last six months which led to him kind of commenting on my relationship with food. I always struggled with my weight and he knows. I also know that I eat very unhealthy and a lot but I have been having difficulties with my eating disorder in the last couple of months and its just not easy to snap out of it. Yesterday I showed him pants that I would like to buy myself and he said that my bum would be a little too much in those pants. It hurt me a lot and I immediately told him why he would say something like that and he just said that he didn't try to be mean and it just came out like that and he knows that it was wrong, so he apologised. But i couldn't let go of it because we've had another discussion like this over 2 months ago and he promised me to stop commenting on my body and my eating disorder. It just makes me feel like he generally prefers skinny women. So i asked him, i asked him if he prefers skinny women and he said that he would prefer if i would lose a few pounds. My heart shattered in that moment and I don't know what to do and how to deal with it. We've talked about it last night and he understands that he's in the wrong but i don't know how to cope and what to do. Please give me some advice

I went out 2 years ago with some friends and I can’t remember some of the night - we went to a house party and my friends say nothing happened but I’m so afraid that I cheated on my partner and don’t remember it. It’s consuming my every minute and I can’t let it go. I was reading up on false memory ocd the other day and it triggered me into thinking what if something I imagined happening actually happened and I don’t know what to do and I’m scared that because I imagined something a certain way that if it wasn’t the same thing I imagined that it must be true

Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.

i recently about six days ago ? started talking with someone with the intention of being friends and we’d talk a couple of times a day every for the past six days. But i immediately grew incredibly attached and obsessed with them i have no idea why it’s been driving me crayz. it didn’t help when they teased (?) me i guess and said if my compliments or well praise to soemthing they had done was flirting. it hasn’t left my mind at all. i don’t know what to do or why i’m feeling like this. and the worst part is i can’t say anything to them because i’ll just look weird i bet. i can’t help it i think about them so much and i check their stuff a lot and my lockscreen so much to see if they’ve texted me… is there any way to help with this ? it’s been really draining and causing me to overthink really badly.

i just realized that my relationship ocd is triggered the second i view someone as a potential partner! i just got the smallest crush on someone and immediately was checking my phone every few minutes for their messages and reading into their responses as either good or bad texts and made some tie to my worth based on how they reply or how quick! uh oh haha. just so many checking and overthinking compulsions. at least i realized this and can now bring it up in therapy to practice RPMs with my therapist!! RPMs are like life savers for my ocd, they help so much :,). i feel happy that i realized it was ocd. i used to think it was just feelings triggered by my ex and how he made me feel for three years. but now i realize it’s ocd and i can work on this which makes me feel better. i’m not sure if it “counts” as rocd but it definitely reminds me of how my rocd acts in a relationship. best of luck and big hugs to anyone who is struggling with rocd too!🎀🧚🏻‍♀️💗

Lately i've been feeling a deep urge to be in a relationship, yet at the same time I feel as if it would be too exhausting to deal with. I don't know why. It may be due to one or two of my past relationships being.. "abusive" or toxic? I'm not exactly sure if I can call it that though, I was never physically hurt, because they were online. I'm just feeling rather lonely and would like to spend time with someone who likes things that I do and who wants to cuddle and hold hands. I crave affection a lot, but at the same time I get so exhausted when I have to try to meet people. Maybe I just have to get over that part of it.

Ive been having terrible irrational thoughts that Ive cheated and don’t remember. Like the guilt made me repress the memory and im actually an awful person and someone’s gonna expose me. I know it’s not true and I love my boyfriend more than anything but i feel so guilty for something ive never done. its been making my life so difficult and i dont know how to explain it without sounding like im covering something up :( Its making me think that I need to break up and i don’t want too, but the guilt and anxiety is eating away at me. I feel like I need to get better before I continue on or i’m going to permanently ruin everything with my mental illness

I don’t know what to do I’ve been seeing this guy for roughly 4-5 months and I like him so much like he could be the one. He was in town for something for most of the time we’ve been seeing each other but he recently moved back to his state which is pretty far away. I’m absolutely terrified that I’m going to accidentally get an STD from somewhere like a toilet seat or the other day after taking the bus home I forgot to wash or sanitize my hands before wiping plus I’ve had coworkers and even my roommate admit that they’ve had chlamydia and one has HSV. I’m terrified that I’ll get something and he’ll think I cheated and we’ve both been hurt like that before and I wouldn’t want to put him through that or have him think that of me. I’ve been trying to not google anything or go to the doctors bc those are my compulsion and reassurance seeking things but nothing is helping it’s to the point I don’t want to use the bathroom or do anything does anyone have any tips to help it’s starting to effect my life I know this isn’t possible but I keep thinking it would just be my luck that I’d the odd one out it does happen to