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I’m scared I’m lying to myself. All I have is depression and hardly any anxiety about it. I’m on Sertraline and only have been for 4 weeks. I don’t want to have to lose my wife. I feel like my mind has been hijacked.

I don’t know why my brain keeps targeting you but it is and it’s pissing me off, I hate how my head goes like oh did they bleed or enjoyed it or why didn’t they and I know full well why they didn’t and it just pisses me off because I don’t want these fucking thoughts anyone!- Or ask these questions. Oh did you cry?- Or the fact that more stuff pop into my head and me just imagining what happened is stuck in my mind and one of my thoughts- I don’t want to say sexualised- More like it popped up- About a baby!- I DONT LIKE THIS AT ALL!- I know it’s wrong!- I can’t even look at any other porn and my head keeps saying that I like my mom romantically and not platonically!- LIKE WHY ME?!— IT JUST PISSES ME OFF AND I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE I JUST WANT TO SEE THE DOCTERS SO I CAN STOP SUFFERING WITH THESE THOUGHTS AND IMAGES, I FEEL LIKE I VICTEM BLAME THEM AS WELL, MY THOUGHTS ARE LIKE THAT WHEN I KNOW IT WASNT THEIR FUCKING FAULT!— AND IM SO SORRY.

How can I feel normal again and not numb? I feel like I have grieved my relationship because of the breakup urges and it is a pattern for me to just randomly lose interest and this one really came out of left field. Woke up and felt I need to break up and had no feelings towards my boyfriend. I just want to not feel numb and live in the moment but I want to feel like I love him again and it is so hard. Please help me I am hopeless

Ive been in a relationship for 6 months w the literally love of my life and ive really been struggling not to fall into the insecurities my ocd hounds me about. I struggle to be secure when asking for reassurance about my intrusive thoughts, not because of her, but because of me. She’s made it clear multiple times that me asking for validation is no issue whatsoever (obviously in healthy moderation) and that she would tell me if i was crossing any sort of boundary, yet i am constantly worried that shes only saying it to appease me and that it does really bother her despite there being no evidence of that being true. I also have bad intrusive thoughts that she will fall out of love with me which i hate even typing lest it manifests. I hate thinking this and it upsets me often because it’s not something i want to dwell on. If i keep thinking about it i set us up for failure. If anyone has any coping tips pls lmk!!!

I know this app is for ocd help but I genuinely need some help in my relationship or just some guidance. Does anyone know how to break down built up resentment ? And how to stop anger towards your partner, I’ll take any answer

Hello I’m Ana Sanchez I’m a mother of 2olders young ladies and 6month baby boy I live with my bf the father of my baby boy he’s the stepdad of my daughters… I’m a stay mom at home he works and my oldest goes to high school and the little one goes to middle school.. At the moment I’m at a rough patch of my life.. I have been living with trauma and with anxiety and depression since I can remember growing up my parents were toxic and alcoholism problems with my dad and well I suffer from abandon and well I been single for so many years like 8years and now I’m in a relationship everything start well like every other relationship but now after I give birth I noticed I have become for not myself I been to toxic and super jealous I will I’m ruined my relationship but my bf he always tired to help me and being there for me but idk I still feel weird that I’m not doing a good job as a mother and as a wife I need help I don’t wanna listen and believe to my thoughts and they getting louder and strong I had started going to Christian Church and I have noticed a different but is just here and there I berly started like I said so I do feel I need help.. I have no one to talk and I do have family but I don’t wanna be bothering them with my problems they have enough of problems already.. and I wanna be free I wanna be better and happy with my family and I wanna learn how to forgive so I can be able to move on.. I’m asking for help before is to late…

I’m tired guys. I’m tired of thinking something is always wrong with my health, tired of letting random symptoms/ sensations take over my brain and make me think something is horribly wrong. Tired of thinking I need to go to the doctors to get X & Y looked at. I’m tired of always assuming worst case scenario. I’m tired of constantly thinking if something is unethical/ immoral if I don’t do something, tired of always thinking I’m offending a religious higher being, tired of thinking I’m a bad/ disgusting person for my thoughts. I’ve had OCD ruin so many things for me that should have been fun. It’s ruined intercourse/ intimacy because of religious thoughts, or I keep thinking about STDs/ infections. I’ve been having panic attacks lately, something I’ve never experienced, because of life changes and it’s all gotten in the way of my structured life and it’s been very uncomfortable. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m in danger, or nothing is real. Right now I’m fearing the most that I’m losing my mind, who I am, and I’m just so scared of my mental health getting worse and going manic or developing a dangerous mental illness. My mental health has NEVER been this bad. This is all new and it’s so scary. I was just fine a few months ago, sure I was dealing with other OCD stuff, the intrusive thoughts, the fears, the repetitive actions just to make sure something is the way I want it/ brings me comfort. But ever since my structure was changed/ ruined, it’s all been downhill. I just finished an EMT program, and that messed with me. Saw/ experienced things I’ve never done before and man, it’s really messed with me. Working on getting a new job in healthcare but still don’t have insurance so getting a new OCD specialized therapist has been difficult. Can someone relate just so I don’t feel like I’m crazy?..

Hello everyone, after a long time. I want some advice about this topic and i want to get things off my chest. Since my partner dumped me, my OCD has been so quiet. My (r)OCD was extremely severe when i was with him, i was anxious, ruminating, doing compulsions 24/7. But now things has been changed. I know i need to be greatful but i don't know, something feels off. For a really long time, i don't ruminate and do compulsions like i used to do. I feel so tired and i avoid doing compulsions or ruminating because it stresses me out, so i runaway and avoid doing compulsions. Im in newly recovery and im taking meds, i don't know if they are working or not but, i feel like i don't have OCD anymore. I don't ruminate, i don't do compulsions like i used to do or when i have an intrusive thought, i try to notice and say "its OCD." And avoid compulsions. Like, i feel like i suddenly recovered. How is this even possible? And this has been like that for a long time. I still get intrusive thoughts and some still do make me feel bad, i still do some compulsions but not like i used to do. They go easily. I valued my partner so much that i was extremely scared to do any bad thing towards to him, i was stressing about everg single thing. But now he is gone, i have less things to stress. Like i said, i still have so-OCD or pure OCD and some other themes. But they are not that extreme. I read my OCD book today and it triggerred me, it was saying "Ocd counts as a disorder when it distorts you and retain you from daily life, if not, then its not a disorder. Its normal." That was like that before, but now it doesn't bother my daily life like it used to be. I know this is a good thing but not for me. What if i don't have OCD? Then what was the all things that happened to me? If i have OCD, i cant have that only on one topic, right? (Relationship) Lastly, OCD used to make me feel like i was in hell. Like, it made me feel so damn horrible that i couldn't eat for days, i was about to off mslf. But now, it feels like OCD is not even there. I don't know. I don't know whats going on. It feels weird to not to be anxious all the time, enjoying life and everything. Its weird. I am greatful, but also scared. What if i don't have OCD? What if i never had it and lied to everyone?

I think i always get some slight attachment for older women. I just always admired them, mostly authorities or i just simply admired them as a older women as a mothers or idk. When i was in high school i had this favorite teacher. She taught me for 7 years. I always felt that we might be somehow connected or that she will help me somehow in the future. When I was in my last year of high school she noticed me that i struggle with mental health, she was always there for me, she even hugged me and reassured me and ive always felt safe in her presence. I was always happy to see her and i think i might make some excuses to just see her and talk with her. So i think i got attached to her. The truth was, that we actually were somehow connected and she also brought be closer to God and she inspired me to become a teacher in the future. Everytime when we had to meet after school i was a bit nervous and sometimes i even wanted to look pretty because i knew that she will give me a compliment. I even said that I love her as my second mother. Sometimes i even thought of her as my mother. When she wasnt responding to my email or a message i strated to panic that i might did something wrong. When i started study my teaching major I even practiced with her at school and i didnt want to disappoint her so i tried to be perfect. Anyway, i have never had sexual or romantic scenerios with her. The only scenarios i had in my mind with her were those that I imagined her as my mother or how she huggs me and comforting me when something bad happens. I used to cry many times when i was thinking about her and I was thanking God that He send me a person like her. I’ve never had butterflies in my stomach around her. I’ve never been aroused in her presence. I’ve never had sexual fantasies with her. But i do get thoughts and doubts that “What if u flirted with her? What if u were secretly into her? What if u have crush on her? What if you love her romantically? What if she is your lesbian awakening?” It bothers me and makes me sad😔 She even kissed me once on my hairs, once on my cheek and I’ve never felt any butterflies or never felt in love and after that happened I wasnt even panicking because i knew it doesnt mean anything and that she only cares for me and nothing else. But im just scared that this is also one of my proofs that I’m a lesbian😔 People told me that this has nothing to do with my sexuality and this actually might mean that im just looking for a mother (i do have a good relationship with my mom so idk why this happens, but i sometimes feel like my mom she is more like a friend and not as a mother who understands my needs and feelings). Anyway, i somehow feel like this doesnt make sense and if i would be in love with this teacher then I would know it. I feel like its bullshit but i cant get over the fact that some lesbians actually had their lesbian awakening when they had a crush on a teacher even though i dont think what i experienced was a crush. 😔

Hi all! I have posted about this before and still not sure about what to do. I am struggling with the question of whether or not I should tell my partner (getting married this week) about the fact that I have OCD and my past experiences with it. And if so how? On the one hand, I think it would be good for them to know that I have this issue (to know me better, and basically strengthen our bond), but on the other hand, I am not sure about how they would react to hearing some of the past manifestations of OCD that I suffered with (mainly POCD and other sexual OCD - about 10 years ago now). My OCD today is mostly checking things around the house to make sure everything is safe - a more “plain” and “non-threatening” (to people without OCD) kind of OCD that wouldn’t be too challenging to discuss. I guess I want to share my experience but wondering if it makes sense to if I am going to leave out the more challenging (but also what has been for me the most impactful) stuff out. And of course keeping that stuff in the disclosure would carry risks as well. Looking online for expert opinions on this is a bit inconclusive. Expert opinions range from “don’t do it, it’s reassurance and these thoughts are meaningless and don’t define you”, through “you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but it can be helpful”, to “you should probably do it, but maybe don’t share everything”. Any thoughts from anyone who has gone through this? Thanks!

there’s so much happening. i’m so scared God is sending me signs. First, my mom said she felt so bad when she hit my old friends face with a charger one time and her name is faith, and then, I got on my instagram and the first person on there with a post is that same friend, faith. I was like, okay that’s weird. I kinda had a panic attack about it, then I came out to my living room, and the tv mentioned someone named faith, and then a song played that sung about a sign. I correlate everything back to being scared that God wants me to break up with my boyfriend. Idk i have really bad rocd, and i’m terrified God is sending me a sign to do that, how do I know He’s not when signs like this happen? Please help.

I could tell immediately that I was going to have an argument with my gf this morning. She was telling me that she felt some type of way because when she states her opinion on any particular topic, that I respond with, "No I don't feel that way," and then I proceed to state and opinion that is, in her opinion, the same thing that she just said. She described a conversation we had over, Couples Therapy, the show. She also recalled an earlier conversation where I told her if I express a difference in opinion, that she doesn't have to respond, she can just keep the response to herself. That she realized that I was saying that just to be heard. (TBH I vaguely remember that conversation.) I responded to this by telling her that I believe this is an opportunity and that we should discuss it with our therapist, (we had a consultation but have not booked our sessions yet.) and that I know longer feel that way, that I am evolving as a person and that I don't feel that I have a right to dictate how anyone responds to my thoughts or opinions. That it's important to me that we're able to have safe and effective communication in our relationship. Long story short she told me she doesn't trust my response and that she thinks it may change again to something negative. Again I expressed the want to discuss this topic further in therapy and that with all the personal development I have been doing that it's natural for her to feel that way and it's a strong possibility that my feelings and thoughts may change multiple times as I grow. In the end, even after I expressed that I no longer feel she should have to, not say anything when I share my thoughts or opinions, she still brought that conversation back around again and ultimately said that by me wanting to have the conversation with a therapist that I was "weaponizing" therapy against her. This entire back and forth filled me with anxiety, fear, frustration and helplessness. I feel like no matter what I do or say I am in the wrong and I should now be punished with, rejection, isolation, stern responses and gazes and lack of interaction. That no matter what I do for the rest of the day and possibly the rest of the week all my behavior will be scrutinized and placed under a microscope of judgement. How do I move through the day without these dreadful feelings of animosity, shame and guilt?

I have a friend who I know is a bad texter, she usually takes days/weeks to text her other friends, but she told me she messages me the most. I really like her and I know she likes me but it’s a complex situation. She has replied to me today etc., but I can’t help but be anxious that she’s mad at me/wants to get rid of me etc. We last spoke on a video call on Saturday for almost five hours and we messaged a lot more that day too - don’t get me wrong, her responses aren’t always quick, but she seemed more enthusiastic. Yesterday, she was out and didn’t message but she did send me photos of her day out. Today, she responded to my morning message asking how she is with “fine, you?” She hasn’t seemed very enthusiastic with her messages today, and her responses aren’t the quickest. She has answered my questions questions when I asked for advice, and when I asked when I should give her the things she asked for, she said “I dunno 🤷‍♀️ when we’re both free. And if your parents are ok”. I can’t help but worry that she’s mad at me etc. Everyone I’ve asked said that her messages are fine, she just might be tired/have things going on and that she’s not mad at me. I can’t help but spiral though. I tend to spiral with messages very often, I create scenarios/overanalyse tones and panic. I just know that I won’t stop panicking until she calls me but I worry she hates me now. What do I do? Am I overthinking?

I've grown very impulsive and anxious this summer, doing things very out of my nature and unlike me. It's scary. I recently started seeing this man since my previous partner. He's amazing, he treats me lovingly, he helps me calm down, he's pretty handsome and he is an incredibly level headed person. I feel like I love him (logically) but I have spiralled for weeks about what love truly is and whether or not I'm feeling it, having not much nervous butterflies and being overly excited to do sexual things. We've been going out and engaging in some of those things and it's amazing, he's good at it..but I can't shake the feeling that that's all I care about. We've tried to stop doing that kind of stuff so early on but we're both as impulsive as eachother so it just keeps happening. I feel like I should feel more to know that I love him. I feel like I shouldn't even have to question what love it. It's such a scary feeling. I haven't had to make this kind of decision about a relationship in over 3 years, as the last time I was "asked out" was that long ago, and then I stayed with my ex partner for 3 years. So this is very new for me, I was 13 too so it was kind of a "yeah sure" situation. Now I feel like it's so complicated and crazy. This man I'm seeing is telling me that I comfort him and I help him and he does the exact same thing to me, is this love? I'm not sure but I'm feeling sick over it. I'm going to push myself to see him today to get some comfort and closure because we got in a difficult situation last night (TMI and I don't want to mention it) and it gave me horrendous anxiety, so we're going to just have a hug and a sit down and make sure we're both okay. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice or just relatable stories to this? Thank you x

I'm tired and can't sleep:( and sad Is there anyone I can talk to please, it's urgent. It's about ROCD

18+ // when i was 15, i had sex with my boyfriend at the time who was 16. we both consented to it. we broke up a couple months later and remained friends for 6 years. a few years ago when i was dealing with harm ocd, i asked him for reassurance several times if he consented and he told me each time that he did and i needed to stop worrying and that there is nothing to worry about. he also told me if things weren’t fine we wouldn’t be talking. recently, he had a falling out with my brother in law and all of a sudden he said he didn’t want to talk to me anymore because he didn’t want to get me involved. this is making me anxious because what if i actually did hurt him back when i was 15 because why is he randomly cutting me out of his life?? we did argue all of the time but that was because he has a severe lying problem so what if he wasn’t telling the truth when i asked him if he consented?? i was sexually assaulted in the past (not by him) and i never went around the person that assaulted me ever again so i feel like if i did hurt him he would of cut me out of his life right then and there. something still doesn’t add up i don’t buy that he wants to cut me out of his life because of my brother in law. this has been making me so anxious and i want to ask him the real reason why he is cutting me out but im scared if i do, he will tell me what my ocd has been fearing. he did bring up the fact that us arguing all the time affected him so i think its probably just that but he was the reason we argued all the time because i would call him out on his lies and he would manipulate me into believing him and get upset if i didn’t believe him. idk im just so anxious over all of this.

Hey! I read that in order to better manage my OCD and be less worried all the time, I have to be okay with uncertainty. For me, it's coming to term with the fact that I might be attracted to a man someday (I'm a lesbian) even though the thought feels terrifying. I don't have anything against men or against bisexual people obviously it's just not who I am and I'm so so afraid of losing my identity. Anyone got tips on how to be okay with accepting that you can't be 100% sure your worst fear won't turn out to be true?

I’m meeting my bf’s family tomorrow and, should time allow, his coworker friends. Unfortunately I’m approaching my period, so my OCD symptoms are spiking. His friends especially have been a huge trigger for me. I’m really really hoping I can confront this important meeting with a clear and sound mind, but I know the nerves will be there there regardless. Anyone got any tips?

Does anyone ever miss their ex and wonder if it was even the right choice to break up with them and you get the urge to go back? I sometimes feel this way even though I’m with someone new but whenever I miss my ex it makes me question if I even love my current boyfriend or not and sometimes I compare them both when I shouldn’t. I remember being happy about breaking up with my ex as I wasn’t getting the communication I wanted and maybe OCD had something to do with it but I’m not sure. My ex also tried getting me to go back with him when I was talking to someone else at the time not only that but our last call he called me all mad and accusing me of comparing our relationship to the one where I was talking to a guy when really I didn’t even compare them both at all. But it did shook me that he was acting like this but also i understood how hurt he was and I did feel guilty. But it’s just been hard and me missing my ex definitely doesn’t help with questioning if I love my current boyfriend or not as it just adds on more stress. Does anyone else relate to this? If so, how did you move forward?

Hey y’all this is my first post. I’ve known I’ve had ocd for around 6 years now, but haven’t had much specialized help (just a standard therapist, who is great, she suggested this app) I’m mainly just posting to vent and for people to hopefully make me feel a little less alone in my current situation. I’ve developed coping skills for many of my ocd obsessions in the past, but haven’t really made a dent in what I’m realizing is pretty bad ROCD. I was in an abusive relationship for about 4 years, and it was this weird thing where like I would not only be unhappy from the abuse but also have intense ROCD. Which is relevant, because I’m now in a super happy and healthy relationship, but am unfortunately still experiencing ROCD. And of COURSE that makes my brain feel either like love is just never going to work out for me, or that this new relationship is wrong for me, which I know isn’t the case. But it’s just so exhausting feeling like I have this horrible brain fog around my partner half the time. I never felt like this when my partner and I were just best friends for 6 months, and all that’s changed is that she is even sweeter and more attentive to me. This just all sucks so bad, and I think I should talk to a specialist about it.