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How do I know if a “bad feeling” about a relationship is an inner knowing or ocd lies???
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How do I know if a “bad feeling” about a relationship is an inner knowing or ocd lies???
I'm Christian and I struggle with being close to god a lot but lately I just feel like I will never near a full relationship with god because of this not only that my heart physically hurts because I think about how I want god to allow me to get married and have kids but I don't think that's his will for me I feel like it will never happen and my heart hurts thinking about it and even if god does allow that blessing to come my way l'm afraid I'm going to end up hurting my husband or committing adultery and I'm afraid how he would react to my past and old relationship and ocd I don't think it will ever go away not because I don't think god is powerful enough I know he is I just think he wants that to be my story for the glory of his name and because it keeps me close to him idk I just my heart hurts thinking about not being married and not having kids but l'm trying to accept that in case that isn't his will for me it just really hurts my heart physically
OK, so I am 99.9% my boyfriend will be popping the big question this July (finally! How exciting!) and of course, I should be soooo happy and excited but I am so worried about my OCD triggering and having my mind make up some lies to convince me I don’t deserve him etc, anyone have any advice for this? Anyone who recently got engaged? How did it go for y’all? I am 30 years old and and my partner is 34! love of my life.
I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month now we met on hinge and he told me from the jump that he wants to find a wife etc which took the stress off me having to ask since I want the same etc. We’ve only been on 4 dates and only see each other once(on the weekend) a week because I work full time and have school after work every day. He’s 33 and I’m 30 btw. I’m not sure if he’s bringing this up because he has an issue with me going to school but basically he brought up the fact that we haven’t had sex yet and wants to see where I’m at with that. I said I like to go slow and that I don’t think 4 dates is long enough for me to do that with someone I really wanna make sure he’s the right person for me/he means what he says etc. so is this a red flag that he is already thinking that it would be an appropriate time for sex? I need your opinions thanks :)
hey, do you guys ever as yourselfs if its OCD or not with SOOCD? because I really feel like this theme is different... I have had other themes (health OCD and harm OCD) but got over them quickly compared to SOOCD. My issue with SOOCD is that it started at a really young age for me... and I watched videos about girls realising they're bi ou gay (yes I did and it was super trigerring) and it felt like I could relate on some level? But then some of my very straight friends also told me they could relate? I'm so lost and sooo stressed and honeslty I just want to be happy no matter what the outcome is I just dont want to be hiding my true self because of society. But then at the same time, I've been with my bf for 6 years and I feel like I really love him but every year we have this big conversation whether I believe this is real true love or platonic love and if we have to break up... and I always ask him if he feels something off about me (because apparently partners can know) and I always notice that whenever I'm busy at work or with friends I actually feel fine even tho the thoughts are still here.... but I'm also just scared that its comphet (yes I searched that too and got triggered). My therapist told me to live day by day and it has been great doing that but sometimes when I'm with my friends and they talk about love or the future etc I feel like I cant really relate but if I imagine it with a women (I know this is testing but it happens) it feels more intense and deep? I dont understand anything anymore so please if someone is going through that let me know! I'm 26 btw and I just dont want to be doing a mistake that's gonna ruin multiple lives later on! PS : did anyone whatch Bridgertion season 3? (Spoiler Alert!!) Francesca's story line really really triggered me! like I even imagined being fransceca and felt like I could fall in love with that women just by looking at her (and I dont believe that's possible in reality so I dont get it) Thanks for your help!!
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Read my Relationship OCD story →I’m Christian and I struggle with being close to god a lot but lately I just feel like I will never near a full relationship with god because of this not only that my heart physically hurts because I think about how I want god to allow me to get married and have kids but I don’t think that’s his will for me I feel like it will never happen and my heart hurts thinking about it and even if god does allow that blessing to come my way I’m afraid I’m going to end up hurting my husband or committing adultery and I’m afraid how he would react to my past and old relationship and ocd I don’t think it will ever go away not because I don’t think god is powerful enough I know he is I just think he wants that to be my story for the glory of his name and because it keeps me close to him idk I just my heart hurts thinking about not being married and not having kids but I’m trying to accept that in case that isn’t his will for me it just really hurts my heart physically
Hey, I’ve been struggling with ROCD and intrusive thoughts as well as groinal responses. I’m worried that all of this means I’m sinning even though these are things I do not desire and I’m committed to my man. To be with someone else is 100% not what I want and I want to honor him as much as I can, but I can’t help but feel like I’m sinning. Any help with this? I’ve been praying and talking and praying to Him and He’s been answering my prayers. But I hope there’s a community that can help:/.
I don’t even know if I love my own boyfriend anymore because of my OCD, I want it all to stop…
I am currently in mainland Europe instead of the UK, as my girlfriend’s (who lives here) father just passed away. So I cannot do the usual NOCD sessions while I am here. She has been my main source of support during this awful disease. But now she is obviously facing her own very difficult time. I feel terrible seeking support - sometimes reassurance from her. I have been doing ERP 3x a day to make an effort to keep my OCD at bay. This is making me extremely depressed and I don’t know how to keep going. I am so worried I am being too much for her. The theme of my ocd is ROCD but can vary and has varied in the past. I love her more than anything and it’s killing me that I’m so dependent on her especially in this difficult time.
I was wondering if anyone had any tips on getting over someone when they’re your limerent object? I’ve been in love with my best friend for nearly 5 years now and he’s rejected me multiple times. I just don’t know what to do to get over him at this point, it feels like I’ve tried everything.
I have a friend who im close with (we are both girls) and we're both in a relationship with boys. I've always had ROCD intrusive thoughts that made me feel as if I don't love my boyfriend but this time it's different. It started when my friend opened up abt her sex life or something to me and I for some reason started feeling really upset and uncomfortable. I didn't know why it honestly felt like jealousy and I wanted to hear her out but also I didn't want to continue listening. I then started having intrusive images of HER and HER BOYFRIEND doing stuff (how creepy I know) and it just made me so upset. I started feeling like it meant I was jealous that IM not in a relationship with her. I start getting groinal responses every time I see her pfp online and I got so panicked I read the lesbian masterdoc which made me MORE confused bc some of the stuff on it I related to. I don't even know if this is ocd or not bc low-key I do think she is extremely attractive and obviously imagining myself in a relationship with her makes me cringe so bad, but also imagining her in any other relationship also makes me feel jealousy? Idk I saw a TikTok with a lesbian girl explaining how to tell if you have romantic or platonic feelings for your female friend. She said to imagine her standing at the altar at her wedding and how it makes you feel. It felt awful like i felt soo uncomfortable at the thought of seeing her get married to her current bf. Then I imagined for myself if I was the one getting married to her, and it felt easier and better to imagine. Surely that means something?? I also felt rlly tall and manly in that marriage imaginations which is weird. I feel weird. I'm now worried I'll never get over her and that I will never love my boyfriend the same again. I'm worried I am a lesbian even though I truly do love him and i remember so vividly what it felt like to fall in love with him (it was awesome). I've been with him for 3 and a half years anf im losing sight of where I stand with him because I have dealt with horrific TOCD for the last year and now I think (hope) HOCD. I just need this to GO AWAY!!!
Hi there! I'm new to the NOCD community. Up until very recently, I thought I just had anxiety but hearing some of my friends talk about their OCD and realizing I related to a lot of things has made me really confused (I always thought OCD was limited to contamination OCD). The way my anxiety/OCD presents is largely through comparisons to other people and this is enhanced in relationships. I'm not sure why but if my partner/friend is doing X or Y that day I have to do that too and if I can't or don't I feel like shit about myself and I ruminate constantly about it. Another example would be if my partner/friend has X number of friends I have to have that exact number of friends (that have the same "characteristics" too). I've always been really ashamed of this because I know it's stupid and I feel like a jealous/envious/bad person so I've never really talked about it. I had a 3 year relationship and this constant comparing and trying to do the exact same things my partner was doing made me so miserable and depressed. I never wanted to talk about it to anyone because I felt like it was stupid. Another way my OCD/anxiety presents is I get obsessed over the process of things rather than the results. Like when I study first exams I have to revise X topics a day (and do so in a very specific way, not leaving any details out) and if I can't I ruminate/make myself feel bad. Or if I'm building a chair from IKEA for example I have to follow the exact instructions and if I don't but it still works I will always feel like there's something wrong with the chair. I'm really lost right now and I guess I would really appreciate any insight/resources that would help with this. I've been in therapy for anxiety but never really gotten diagnosed with OCD so I'm just confused like is that not something that your therapist should tell you??
Hi everyone. I am new to Nocd. My story: The first time I got intense intrusive thougts of religious ocd is when I was 11 years old. They were very intense. I was ashamed of those thoughts and didn't know what to do with them. I literally didnot tell anyone and suffered alone. It made it hard for me to pray. Over the years it took many forms. I didn't know it was OCD. My mental health deteriorated with waves of depression because of OCD as I got threatened from my OCD thoughts of death of me and my closed ones. They were scary. I also imagined things and felt like seeing things out of fear. These phases of depression brought me down everytime I stood up somehow. Soon I was struck with existential and identity crisis, questioning the meaning of life and existence, nothing seemed valuable and worth it. I questioned my academics and everything. Definetly my grades and health everything deteriorated. It showed in my physical health too. I started having mental fog and questioning reality, my self along with a lot of changes in my life. After class ten, there were suddenly a lot of changes when my mental health was already not okay making it hard for me to adapt. I saw everything blurry and removed. I couldn't connect to anyone. I associated fear to all the things, plus my home. And because I already had so much threatenings of death, I couldn't even recognise the reality. I felt far removed from my reality like I went somewhere far away, a lot of time has passed and there's not much time for me and I struggled with memory too. After 12th, I joined University. One year later, I met a boy with whom I instantly felt sparks. Note: I never dated anyone before and feeling a spark like that with somebody which made me take the step is a lot. I wanted to commit to him but then my ROCD kicked in. I didn't even know about it but I did some mistakes because of it I feel like because ROCD was so intense it made me feel like an emergency to leave the relationship. He had OCD too as he said. He have it in terms of 'perfectionism'. Also he was very sensitive, enraged kind of person, I got to know later on. Had a lot of emotional outbursts making me more question the relationship to leave. We became like an anxious-avoidant couple. I regret many things like what I have avoided if I knew its ROCD and worked on it and so many. He 'abused me. He started abusing me. Idk I started feeling like I made him that kind of a person because he actually compared me with his former gf, with whom he used to even secretly talk. I couldn't get out of the abusive relationship sooner but recently which added extra trauma. Well, here am I 'single' but I feel a lot of guilt and also I need to make my mental health better because this experience made me realise how my bottled up things made an explosion. Thankyou! to whoever reads this! Oh yeah I also deal with a Lott of decision making difficulties, indecisiveness and regret over small things and doings. And also because of my life going like this and getting ruined where there was so many expectations from me, I regret a lot I guess. I think of many possibilities how my life would have gone and always put infront of me possibilities and choices. So I am currently dealing with my thoughts and uncertainty about my future after a Lott of trauma. Oh my god..there is so much
I was texting my best friend, and I was responding to her reels. She sent this one where a little animal was having a spa day. I responded to it. After I had this feeling of attraction and I remembered a picture I had seen where I thought she looked pretty and I sent another message "aw you should have a spa day like this". I think I flirted. I was going to go see that picture too but immediately stopped myself.
I think I’ve figured out one of the biggest triggers that I have been experiencing over the past few months with my bf. During school with him I was feeling triggered so regularly. We graduated a bit ago, and we just met up with some friends from school last night, and I’m starting to see where some the triggers start. It’s almost like my bf is a different person socially when he’s with our friends. He’s super hyper and loud and sometimes in my eyes it comes off as annoying or cringe. It seems to be that I’m the only one who feels this way strongly tho, because he is good friends with a lot of people. But I can’t stop obsessing over how he sounds and acts, it’s almost like his voice even changes and gets more annoying, he becomes more hyper and says a lot of cringe things. But it’s so different from how he is with me, when we’re just calm together. Maybe I’m the only one who sees it. But the problem I’m having is I worry that this will become a deal breaker. I don’t want this relationship to end, and I don’t want to find those traits annoying or weird, but I do, and I feel like I need to do something about it. I just wish I didn’t feel that way. It’s all so confusing.
My fb videos is filled with clips of sitcoms, I keep watching this show called B99 even though I’ve watched it numerous times. There was this one clip about a character called Rosa coming out to her colleagues and friends, when Amy asked her what made her know that she was bi- she answered that when she was a kid, she watched this show and thought this guy and a girl were both hot. Now lately whenever I see some girl who’s attractive or even noticed their cleavages- my mind immediately thinks that they’re hot. It’s still a trigger for me and I find myself getting anxious. I know there are women who are attractive and even called “hot” platonically by other women but what Rosa said has stuck in my mind and it keeps making me think that I’m also bi. I feel like this a spike but it feels so real. I just got off a situationship with a guy who ghosted me and whom I genuinely loved. I’ve been going through some hurtful feelings, getting more piercings, cutting my hair. I don’t want people to think I’m into women when I do this kind of stuff. I’ve also been getting anxious about “signs” like I’ve had terrible relationships with men. Most of them end up breaking up with me and it’s making me think what if I wasn’t made to “be” with a guy. That sticks in my mind all the damn time it’s frustrating.
I saw a comment of someone and now my brain is thinking "now you need to m*sturbte yourself thinking in your sister" Im crying, this intrusive thoughts makes me want to cry, I don't want this thought, ah and it gets stuck in my head, HELP ah I'm in crisis, please The week was really good and now this nightmare thought is stuck on my head I'm terrified I don't want this thought, why stills on my brain? Ahhhhh is torture help I feel my day is contaminated my brain with this thought help
I love my bf and absolutely cherish every moment with him, including intimate moments. However, I’ve noticed I don’t quite enjoy kissing as much as other activities. It’s uncomfortable for me, and I occasionally find his mouth tastes strange. After doing research online, everyone says it’s my body rejecting him and he’s probably cheating or we are not made for eachother. This brings me a great deal of distress. I HATE HATE this theory or our body rejecting our relationship. I love his smell, I love doing pretty much everything with him, I don’t feel like my body is rejecting him at all. But the kissing I’m just not always a fan of. How do I approach this? (Okay I’m realizing I’m asking for affirmation but I just want to know if this is pseudoscience or not 😭😭😭)
it’s been almost a month since i lost my best friend from passing i’ve been having ocd and anxiety since january tho.. it’s gotten worse since she passed but my ocd has flared up from sleeping issues because i’m on my period but i recently just met this guy last week and we kissed and cuddled he is rlly sweet and i think i like him but a new theme flared up because i’ve been heartbroken in the past and i’m trying to take it slow because i wanna see it if it works out eventually with each other but my thoughts are throwing me off “what if i don’t like him like that?” and our height difference kinda threw me off a bit and i told him i have ocd and anxiety but i haven’t been rlly diganosed with it i just know that’s what i have… but i told him how i feel and it’s just getting me anxious then my scide ocd thoughts are flaring up with it.. like “what if i hurt myself because i’m not gonna make it because everything is just going absolutely crazy rn and so fast rn” and i’m on vacation rn at the beach and i’m just very anxious.. but i have a therapist but she told me u have to have a psychiatrist to know if im diganosed with ocd but everything has been so anxious and yk it just happened meeting this guy he says that he is here for me it’s just idk what i want… but yesterday stuff happened with him and i said this on a group chat with him, his brother, and my friend who is also talking to his brother.. but this message i sent and it got out of hand because his brother and him were upset i’ve just been going through so much and i closed it off because i’m not ready for a relationship.. “ok i’m just gonna type this out ik u guys are busy which is completely understandable… i’m gonna start with this.. yk i’ve been going through a lot with anxiety and ocd and losing my best friend a few weeks ago… my thoughts and feelings have been absolutely confusing to where the point i don’t know what i want… i just felt like this went too fast and i do want to apologize about this.. i’ve been through heartbreak too… i have rlly bad commitment issues. i don’t want to be the reason that i’m hurting you bc i’m not that person AT ALL. i rlly care about u and i think ur an absolutely sweet it’s just everything went way too fast.. and it’s putting me through stress after stress.. i just don’t think i’m ready and just need to know u more as friends first. then see how it goes… it’s just everything is so overwhelming and i’m truly sorry i don’t want anyone to be upset with me. i still wanna hang out out and do fun stuff.. i just think it’s too early to be thinking in a relationship rn bc we just met and it’s confusing my feelings and stressing me out too.. and the other thing is ik ur here for me and i’m here for u.. it’s just im afraid that my issues will effect on u and i don’t want that to make anything worse and i’m not here to hurt anyone so i hope you guys understand and i rlly rlly want this to be fixed” he was upset and it’s been a week and i should’ve said something sooner but NOW we got it worked out just to be friends to see how it goes and it’s in gods hands yk? but now but i don’t think his brother likes me.. so the plan was gonna still for like me him his brother and my friend we were gonna hang out and she told him and he doesn’t think it’s a good idea so me and him are just gonna hang out so i don’t think his brother likes me bc he doesn’t want his brother hurt which i’m glad he is looking out for his brother but i feel like his brother thinks i’m gonna keep hurting him and i was like it’s in gods hands yk? i just don’t understand i feel like i’m always disappointing everyone and my scidal ocd thoughts are flaring up with what ifs and my head feels weird my eyes hurt and IM SO TIRED and i’m literally at the beach rn and i haven’t told my dad or my mom what’s going on yet.. i’m just trying to enjoy my vacation it’s just been hard from going through so much traumatic stuff… :( i just want to know my self worth first before i even think to get into a relationship and i just don’t think i’m ready and again ik i should’ve said something sooner i was just caught up in the moment thinking i could do this but i’m not :(
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