- Date posted
- 41w ago
Bad Feeling
How do I know if a “bad feeling” about a relationship is an inner knowing or ocd lies???
How do I know if a “bad feeling” about a relationship is an inner knowing or ocd lies???
I don’t know if this will help, but I’ve been doing some IFS (Internal Family Systems) work with my therapist. And even before we got into it, this one concept really helped me and maybe you can apply it. Basically in IFS, you have all these various parts and then a core Self. And when you are in Self, you feel: calm confident curious clear courageous content creative consistent connected compassionate When I have an “inner knowing,” I’m in a clear, calm state of mind. I might be scared about following through on what I need to do, but I’m not in a fearful state. If it’s “ocd lies,” I’m anxious, afraid, unsettled, unwell. I’m not myself. It does get tricky though because I’ve been super anxious and upset about a topic and it seems like it’s just OCD, but then a therapist asked me a clarifying question and I thought, “Oh. That sounds like truth.” And it felt like clarity. So for me, sometimes the knowing was almost imbedded in the rumination and fear, but someone else’s words helped me clear away all the noise. Yeah, my knowing is not noisy. It’s a clear tone. Who knows if any of that will work for you, but it’s been an interesting exercise to think about. Hope you find some clarity.
Just sit with it, you can never really know I think that if you don’t want to be with someone for a certain period of time (at your discretion) it means something is off. I felt like I wanted to be alone sometimes in a relationship and was worried that meant I didn’t like my girlfriend, but I still wanted to see her in at least a day so I knew I wanted to be with her no matter what my mind said.
You don’t. That’s the trouble with ROCD.
@UncertainOtter104 I think we can learn. I mean, that’s the hope, isn’t it?
@JediMJ I’m not saying there isn’t hope. I’m encouraging the uncertainty.
It’s OCD
Hey I feel like I just have this evil like whirring feeling of anxiety and like “something bad is gonna happen” and feeling you’re going to do things against God or like you already have I guess?
I’ve been struggling with relationship OCD and differentiating between what is an intrusive thought and what is a real doubt. I was really happy with my partner then I got one aggressive thought that I didn’t love him and this spiralled into noticing all his flaws. I struggle being around him because I feel a huge sense of guilt that these thoughts even come into my head and I cannot figure out if this is my brain lying to me or this is how I feel. It’s really impacting a relationship that is so important to me.
This topic triggers me so much because I don’t think I ever experienced “gut feelings” about my relationship until the ocd. I know that generally people get these feelings when something’s off like their values are different, or the partner has strong bad habits, or something they’re doing is wrong. But my relationship is perfect to me: we communicate so well and I feel so vulnerable and safe. He’s amazing and sweet and we share the same values and life goals. We’re not perfect but I wanna be imperfect w him. I’ve never felt the way I feel for him with anyone else before. So why does it feel like the next stage of our life (moving in together) feels like I’ll change my mind later on?.. I get anxious at the idea and thought of sharing our whole life but I know I want to marry him. The idea of us growing old together, I feel like my life would be complete with him. But why do I feel like I don’t want to :( Do people have doubts anout their relationship even when there’s nothing to doubt?? There’s nothing wrong with us at all and I want what we have forever but when I think about our future I feel so anxious like I won’t last long until I decide I can’t do it anymore
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