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Anyone here struggling with RJOCD and wants to share?

Having sexual ocd intrusive thoughts has been a lifelong challenge. Becoming a married man and parent has been a tough challenge and great blessing having ocd factoring in relationships. I know we arent our thoughts but whay happens when i have those same intrusive ocd thoughts and worries pop up in my dreams. Is the same principle applicable? Its just thoughts means nothing.

Hi not sure if this is ROCD. My boyfriend had a lot of money when we got together, and now he’s broke. My mind keeps telling me I’m only with him for the money even though I know that I love him. It’s thoughts like “Yah he might be broke right now but you’re only staying because you know he’ll make money again.” I wouldn’t be with a man I didn’t love money or not. I wouldn’t leave a man I love money or not. What would you call this type of OCD and how do I stop it?

I obsess on being lonely all the time. I feel like I’ve always struggled with feeling alone my whole life. Idk if it’s because my parent took their life or what it is. But if I don’t have a best friend at any given time it makes me feel like something is wrong with me and I’ll be forever alone. I do have social connections I just always feel like I’m not part of the “IN” crowd. Not sure why.

Hi all! I am asking for ‚reassurance‘ and in this case I think it’s ok - and also, If anybody else experienced this. I am in therapy for 1,5 years now with this psychoanalysis therapist. She is great at what she does, but not for my OCD. Last year it got so bad and I went to the hospital for 2 months cause my ocd just flared up so badly. She helped me with my trauma a lot (father sa‘d me for years and only with her I remembered with flashbacks). Though she sees each ocd thought with direct correlation to my trauma. Which def could be the case, but it did not help me one bit. In fact, I am where I was now one year later contemplating if I shall go to the mental hospital again. The fact that there is a ‚reason‘ implied for each obsessive thought that pops my mind (e.g. cheating thought when looking at my fiancé is creating distance because I project my fathers relationship into my fiancé and then i get scared) - could be, but how does it help me? Or the fact that she says my ocd flares up when I’m angry cause I get thrown into that child-like anger from when my father abused me, which but I don’t even remember how I felt (which is great, it’s dissociation‘s purpose).how does it help me though?! I know that it actually worsened my condition cause now I realize I was ruminating all fuxking day long about the associative meaning of that stupid thought. Until yesterday I hurt myself again cause I was very close to giving up (dramatic I know, but it’s how it felt yesterday). Why did it take me so long to let her go? I wrote an email this morning to her saying that I want to change therapy style and that I want to talk about it with her… it got so bad I was questioning my reality yesterday … like 100% didn’t know what was real… Did any of you have a similar experience ? And do any of you have a good tip now to get out of this cycle myself? Thank you!!!

Deep down I feel like I’ll never be able to truly fall in love. I feel like I wasn’t made for loved and I feel like everything inside of me is making it impossible for me to just truly love my partner. It’s so heartbreaking and infuriating. I’ve just accepted the fact that I’ll never be able to love the way everyone else can, and that’s not fair to my partner. I don’t know what to do.

I love my boyfriend with my whole heart. I would never, ever do anything to hurt him and vice versa. our relationship is so incredibly healthy and amazing, I just want to be with him forever, and we will be. so why am I so afraid of cheating????? I can’t even look at pictures of other guys because I feel like I am cheating just doing that. If I think about a male person I immediately feel so guilty and I feel like I have to apologise to my bf. I spoke to him about it and he is so supportive and lovely with me, so patient and understanding, still my ocd tells me I am going to cheat on him, that I don’t love him and I am just falking this whole relationship. I just love him so so much and I don’t want him to be hurt or sad ever. this is making me feel so awful and guilty.

Anyone have success stories? I’ve realized that I’ve let my ROCD win and have been giving in to compulsions and ruminating through my past three relationships and this one feels like the hardest theme so far.

My psychiatrist hasn’t officially diagnosed me yet, but mentioned that I could have OCD (suicidal OCD). The more I look into it, the more I relate to Relationship OCD. As I look back at my old journal, I feel like I can totally see the possibility of me having relationship OCD. I’m curious if these count as obsessions: 1. Fear that the relationship was going to end (it did) 2. Fear that I was going to say or do something to make him stop loving me 3. Fear I made him an idol in my life (Scrupulosity OCD) The relationship caused me so much distress. I could not stop worrying about the relationship all the time and couldn’t think about schoolwork or anything else. Do these count as compulsions: 1. Constantly having conversations with him & others about the relationship 2. Constantly praying & journaling about the relationship I meet with a psychiatrist tomorrow for an ADHD assessment but I’m so interested in learning about all this stuff & figuring it out… which I read could be a compulsion. Would appreciate any comments!

she starts obsessing at bedtime an wakes me up every hour to make sure I'm ok, ask if I still love her or just outright is mad at me for a perceived slight she's obsessing over I don't know what to do

I don’t think my partner is funny & this is what my OCD *loves* to latch onto & it makes me feel so sick. Haven’t felt this sick in a while & it sucks. Anyone else?

Hi ! Does anyone have intrusive thoughts of being betrayed and imagining the worse case scenario until feeling that it could be true, having trouble to trust your partner, friend and family ?? Is it part of ROCD ?

Hi everyone! I wanna share something that’s really helped me & it’s to stop the cycle of rumination. It’s easier said than done but that’s usually what gives me the most anxiety. A thought only lasts a second… it’s what you do with that thought that brings a whole deal of anxiety… at least for me. Of course there’s times where I catch myself ruminating and stop myself from it but I’m working on it. It’s hard when the thought feels so real that I have to check and analyze the memory that comes with the thought to figure out what I was thinking at that time but obviously this gets me now where. Thankfully after two long, hard weeks the sensation I had in my chest and body lowered immensely. I still don’t know how to accept the fact that I can be gay bc I have a boyfriend that I am terrified of losing so if I just accept that I might be gay that will ruin everything. If anyone has any tips on this lmk!!!! I think what’s the hardest for me is getting memories from when I was younger and trying to figure out why I did some of the stuff I did. Sometimes I get reassurance that I’m straight but often I get even more questions and anxiety. It’s like this is the one thing keeping myself from living a happy life with my bf… once I figure this out I will not feel anxious about anything else. It’s hard man. We can do this & we got this!!!!

my boyfriend is perfect. i cant believe how happy i am. but my ocd has this image of his ex gf and doesn’t drop it. Even tho she went insane at the end, they dated for 4+years. it just makes me feel like our experiences even cute aren’t original. i just want to let myself be happy but her face and etc is stuck inside my brain. i even stopped stalking but it didn’t really help. help.

I had very very bad se*ual dream about someone I shouldn't have. Does my dreams show what I actually want? why even it came in my mind

I am not sure why, but here lately (the last couple of days) I have been feeling irritated with my partner. In fact it’s not just with my partner, it’s with everything. Unfortunately this is bothering me because it’s almost as if I feel numb to my partner. The thought of being with him either causes me to feel anxiety or I feel nothing at all. Just typing this is making me anxious. I haven’t exactly had a direct intrusive thought related to the feelings I am experiencing but I fear that this means I should leave my partner. I fear that the irritation I feel could mean that I don’t really love him or that something is wrong. I wish I could ignore this but I find it hard to. In a way I almost don’t want to talk to him which makes me feel guilty and flat out terrible. I keep asking myself if this is just ROCD playing another trick on me or if I should actually leave him. The thought of doing so makes me very upset, it hurts my heart. I don’t want to hurt him because I truly don’t want to leave my partner in general. I love him very much, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him. I want to be happy with my partner and enjoy the beautiful relationship we have. But because of all the anxiety I experience, I find it hard to do that. Something worth mentioning is that I have been without a medication that I normally take. I take Zoloft and unfortunately I haven’t had it for a little over a week. I am unsure but could the lack of medicine make me feel this way? Either way I have no clue, but I am desperate to feel truly happy in this relationship. Any thoughts or tips would be greatly appreciated! -Thank you :)

This is not ocd but I just want some advice So basically I sometimes maybe like twice or three times called my boyfriend by one of my male friends name. My boyfriends name is Ryan and my friends name is Hector and sometimes I’ll be with my boyfriend and say “hec” and he notices and gets sad and I feel horrible :/

I constantly have thoughts about my wife's features. In a negative way that leaves me with anxiety and guilt. Then the thoughts change from divorce to finding other people attractive... but I don't want to leave my wife I love her.. I feel so stuck in the web I can't get out of I obsesse about these thoughts all the time... she's a terrific person we been married for 13 years any advice?

Hey guys, does anyone know if OCD gets worse during times of conflict, specifically unspoken stuff? My partner is really resistant to talking things out and instead chooses to ignore our problems, which makes things awkward and tense. She told me she puts things off because of her parents relationship, but at a certain point it feels like an excuse for her not to even try. This has been going on for 3 years, and our conflicts still feel the same. Me bringing up a problem or situation, and her seeming annoyed and apologizing in a tone that’s clearly upset. If she thinks I’m wrong then I wanna hear that, cus I prefer to discuss both our feelings. I’ve asked her for that, I’ve asked her to meditate, journal, etc in her free time too, but she doesnt do it. I know she cares but it doesnt feel like she knows how to care sometimes. I feel like I need to leave so that I can focus on my recently diagnosed OCD, and so I can feel like myself again. I don’t think its ROCD, i actually think I’ve been convincing myself to stay in something that I’m not happy in. I always assumed it was me just having commitment issues, and to hold on and push thru it. At this point it feels like I can’t stand to be in this relationship anymore. This is probably not the best place for this post, but maybe someone relates.

Hi there, I'm new to this site and just starting therapy with nocd. I have a therapist outside of nocd that specializes in ocd with cognitive behavior therapy, sound baths, rapid eye movement and hypnosis in particular. She is amazing, she doesn't force me to do things that bring me panic, and I have come a long way with allowing myself limited exposure therapy on my own terms. My husband is at the end of the line dealing with my "control" issues with contamination worries. I have begged for couples therapy so he could maybe understand that I didn't choose this and that the panic is so severe that I don't have a choice but to cave into my fears, but he wants no part of it and thinks there is nothing wrong with him or thinks he's been understanding. Backstory is that I had my ocd well managed until I was pregnant with my little one and he was diagnosedwith a heart defect in utero. Diagnosis changed at birth and we were thrown head first into a very serious and immediate trauma. We were life flighted out of state, hand washed like crazy, had complication after complication, no sleep, handed my 5 day old baby over to a surgeon I had met 3 times for open heart surgery. 17 days of living in a hospital and beeping machines and intense fear that goes so far beyond what you could ever imagine as a first time parent. Flash forward to finally coming off ng feeding tube, tongue tie clip, partially paralyzed left diaphragm, oxygen dependent until 4 months old, pulse ox until 9 month old. Back to work at only 3 months. To say it was traumatic is a huge understatement. Flash forward again 3 years, husband hospital and diagnosed with heart failure not to mention how bad things got with worry during covid. I just don't know how to get it through to him how hard I am trying, how much I hate this, how awful the panic attacks are if I don't cave. My most overwhelming fear is of mice and hantavirus and we have had mice problems in out house th3 entire time hes lives here. Remodeled kitchen 3 years ago, so none in the house, but not so confident about the garage and yard. I freak out if he wabts to work in the yard or inbthe garage, make him shower, wash clothes 2-3 times, I clean his path from the door to shower while hes showering and then shower myelf. I want to get better, but he wants it like overnight. Any advise on things that have helped you make people in your life understand where you are coming from and where your heart is? I don't want to end my marriage, but I have been there for him through thick and thin and he's basically giving me an ultimatum that I can't fulfill at this time, and I can't promise him that I will ever be 100% either, but I'm giving all that I can. He thinks I've made zero progress and that I'm not trying at all. I'm feeling lost and sad. It's exhausting andbI know he feels like a prisoner, but I am terrified all the time. I can recognize that it's irrational and mostly unlikely, but hantavirus does kill people and we have that type of mice in our state not too far away. It is not a problem here, but I'm stuck on this fear and I cannot budge from it. It irrational but also not worth my sons life so in my mind totally rational, he's only 6 and getting closer and closer to his 2nd open heart surgery. Sorry, that was a book.