- Username
- hr247
- Date posted
- 44w ago
i was with my gf yesterday, we held hands when walking, she even sat on me at one point but i never got a boner is this normal? i always used to get boners in situations like this before
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i was with my gf yesterday, we held hands when walking, she even sat on me at one point but i never got a boner is this normal? i always used to get boners in situations like this before
I have SO-OCD and I’ve been doing really well and making progress but I’m tired of the repetitive thoughts some are truthful and some aren’t I have more that aren’t or a truth that is being twisted around. Anybody have any good ways to stop the repetitive thoughts?
so ive accepted the typical "what if i dont love my partner" part (even tho it still bothers me) but i think it stems from me not "feeling" emotions sometimes. like i dont feel super obsessed or those chest feelings when your so in love, but i KNOW that i love them. but because i dont have the physical sensations i question it so much?
Anyone else exhausted after playing happy girl all day in work and as soon as you leave you’re analysing every conversation you had and how you reacted and the expressions you made and making them seem bigger than they are? In terms of ROCD I analyse every way I acted towards a male and it’s exhausting. My mind tells me I’m flirting with everyone
i’m very aware that one of my main compulsions is confessing/seeking repentance, specifically from my boyfriend. however i can never seem to get past this one specific event from my past. to sum it up, i remember while having me time (if yk what i mean) i kept having random ppl that i know in my daily life popping into my head and sexual images of them kept coming in as well. i felt like i couldn’t fully control it which makes me think it was OCD and i didn’t know it at the time. however, a specific person that kept coming to mind is now standing out to me. i would be lying if i said he was not an attractive person, but i would never in a million years actually want to be with him in any way. i love my boyfriend with every fiber in me and i am confident i would never do anything to jeopardize that. the thing is that since i know i found him attractive at the time i am struggling with my intentions behind those thoughts i was having about him. although its out of character i wonder if it was real thoughts and not just intrusive. it feels like a cycle of me trying to figure it out and i feel so incredibly guilty at times over it that i feel as though i should confess this to my boyfriend. this happened over a year ago and this person is no longer even in my life but i still can’t shake it. is this something i would need to confess to him or is it just my OCD taking? also, something that feeds into my obsessing over this is that i remember distinctly trying to make sure i looked okay when i was around this person in the past. not in a way that i wanted him, but just that i didn’t want him to think i was ugly or anything. i don’t think this is uncommon to want to look good in front of an attractive person, but at the same time i wonder if i was seeking attention for the wrong reasons or something. it’s just so conflicting bc it’s very out of character for me.
OCD Journey Stories
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I had to learn to live in the “maybe, maybe not”. At this point, I know I can face anything. I know that I can fight the fight. I know that I will be triumphant over this.
By Chelsea R
Read my Relationship OCD story →I keep on wondering if I really love my partner. I have been doubting from the beginning and it has been 3 years ! I’m tired of this and so is my partner. I just want to love him, stop worrying and just be happy with him. I just always have this feeling that something is not right and that I should feel more intense feelings or I should not feel or think certain things.
My fiancée and I are planning a wedding and up until recently I haven’t had any “cold feet” or doubt, but now that the wedding is getting closer and closer I’m feeling very anxious about if he’s “the one.” I love him so deeply but I think the permanence of marriage is scaring me. Like I would spend my whole life with him but now that there’s a label on it I’m freaked out?? He’s done nothing to cause this either. He’s an amazing beautiful lovely soul that I would LOVE to spend my life with. I just can’t get over the ruminating part of it. :( I wish I didn’t feel like this. I’ve posted about my ROC before and have posted one during this engagement process. it comes and goes but I’m just feeling very sad that it’s ruining this period of time for me.
Does anyone else catastrophize any little flaw that they don’t quite like about their partner?? There are things that my partner does from time to time that are weird and sometimes a turn off, and when I notice those quirky things he does I start to spiral because if those things bug me or turn me off slightly then maybe I don’t like him and I need to leave. I couldn’t even begin to try and explain the goofy behaviour because it’s so mundane and unimportant. It’s literally just Him being himself, and being quirky and different, and he’s a little more nerdy and awkward. And it hurts me so much because he is so amazing, but I catastrophize these flaws into automatic major deal breakers because they feel like “icks”. Idk what to do. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I’m not going to find a single person on the face of this earth that will be perfect. There isn’t someone that I will like everything about. Does anyone else relate or am I going crazy?
Hi guys, I hope you're all doing well! I have a question to ask you! I have had SOOCD for a pretty long time now. So when I compare it to how it first started I rememeber that I was like " this is not me" or "what is this", I could'nt even imagine myself in a sexual situation with a women without saying "not for me no way" and everytime I used to see lgbtq+ couples on social media I used to get soo triggered and just scroll down. However fast forward 6 years, the thoughts bother me less, its like I actually like them, if I imagine any scenarios it feels "real" and I volontarly look up lgbtq+ couples which gives me a sense of peace? ( my therapist said that it was a complusion and a way of telling myself if it ever happens I'll be okay but im not so sure of her analysis). Looking at what I just wrote, I know that some of you are gonna say its the backdoor spike etc... but it just feel like I was in denial and year after year Im finally "accepting my true self?". Which scares me a lot because im in a relationship with my bf of 6 years whom I love ( as a friend or as a bf? idk at this point) and I dont want to throw everything away!!! or if I dont, Im sacred to realise in 3 years that Im actually into girls and have wasted 9 years of this guy's life juste because I was "scared". I dont know if any of you have had this for soo long to get to this point.... It doesnt help that I saw a tiktok of a bi girl saying that when she used to date guys she was in total control of her emotions and it was nice and confortable, but when she started dating girls she literally felt "honored to be able to share her life with her gf and to touch her and to be with her and can't believe that her gf chose her and just feels like she literrally cant breath around her from the love she feels". totally triggered.
I’m trying my best to resist the compulsion of seeking reassurance with a friend, I really really want to text her and tell her my thoughts to see what she thinks about it, but I know it could be a compulsion :(. Any tips for keep resisting?
I have trouble feeling like I even love my partner. Like I see those OCD memes like ‘when I love my partner so much and I’m so in love but then have intrusive thoughts about our relationship’ I’m like … how do you even know you love your partner lol. I feel so identified with my intrusive thoughts I feel like they ARE the relationship, they ARE my feelings, and constantly feel that lack.
I'm dating this genderfluid person and now I'm apparently pansexual. According to them. So uh yeah. That's happening. And wtf do I do cuz I really like her (pronouns are she/him) it didn't bother me initially but my friend brought that up and it started freaking me out. She's okay with me calling her my girlfriend. And like I'm straight but I'm not? I'm confused.
Does anyone have advice on how to share your OCD with someone because they might notice some of your compulsions. I am going on a trip with someone who does not know I have OCD. It will just be us two in a foreign country and I can foresee me being anxious and not wanting to hide that in case I need help or something?
I’m absolutely terrified that I will end up with a woman. I honestly find stories about women who randomly fell in love with another woman later in life so terrifying. Like how does this even happen?? I had so much certainty and a clear idea of what my life will be before this ocd theme started. But now because I read so many stories I feel like I will never get them out of my head. It’s almost like all the research poisoned my brain. Ignorance was such bliss honestly…
I often tend to connect things to each other and look at everything as a sign. For example, I had a horrible ROCD flare up in the summer and I remember looking at my phone and a song was on about moving on. Then my OCD thoughts kicked in telling me that God was trying to show me that I need to get out of my relationship and move on. Lately, I have been struggling with False memory OCD and am constantly checking if I did something to cheat on my boyfriend with guy friends I used to Snapchat. Like what if I don’t remember I did something or said something to one of them? Anyway, in the midst of all of this, I opened a fortune cookie after eating at a Chinese restaurant. The fortune read something like, “a former acquaintance is going to unexpectedly resurface in your life” and that completely put me into a spiral. My OCD is telling me that’s a sign from God that I did something with another guy and he is going to resurface in my life and ruin my relationship. I feel so guilty even though I know I didn’t do anything. I just can’t help but to look at things like signs. Like why did I see that at this time. Is that God trying to tell me something? Can anyone relate? It would be so relieving if someone could share a story similar.
I’m here because I’m looking for help. I’ve tried CBT but my therapist isn’t specialized in OCD and I don’t know what else to do. I’m terrified all the time, I wear a mask every day and wash my hands till they are raw. I don’t know what to do, I didn’t have anywhere near the levels of anxiety and depression before the pandemic that I have since the pandemic started, I am terrified of everything, I had Covid once but I am terrified that I’m a ticking time bomb because it does cause long lasting symptoms and can disable or kill you even after one infection and that’s what terrifies me. I’m forced to go into the office with people who don’t mask and don’t care about coughing up a lung and not covering it up. I can’t sleep without feeling like something is wrong with my heart or my body and I am constantly afraid of going out and being around people and crowds. I’m terrified of Covid and getting it again and losing my life and quality of life because of it. I’m also terrified of losing my wife because she doesn’t want a partner who just stays in the house all the time.
Hey, guys! I know that this is a community to help people with ocd but I really wanna share this Hard stuff with you to help me going through this. I met a guy who was incredible with me and we were together for three months. We talked about a lot of hard stuff and we lived fun moments together and I got attached, but he ended what we had cause he was going through a tough time. I'm so sad and frustrated cause I created many expectations. It's been so hard for me to accept this.
(Long message) Today I’m feeling guilty about how I haven’t reached out to my (ex?) best friend for months. Here’s some back story: So I’ve been best friends with this girl since middle school and she’s always been nasty, very opinionated, very explosive, and was the type of person to say that being a “bitch” was a part of her personality. Also she would make snarky comments to me, she just isn’t a nice person overall. So you can kinda get a good idea of what kind of person she is. Anyway, we were super close and we decided to dorm together our freshman year of college (yes I knew that it could end badly), and it was pretty good the 1st semester but I started to get more irritated during the 2nd, mainly about small things but it kinda turned into me getting annoyed by every single thing. This was last year. At the beginning of last summer, I had wanted to distance myself just for like a week or two, just cuz I had lived with her for a year and I didn’t want to get irritated further. So that clearly took a wrong turn cuz then she started getting mad about how I wasn’t really hanging out with her, I was always with my bf, etc. Meanwhile she had only asked me to hang out about 4 times throughout the summer and 2 of those times I was already out with my bf. Then she was always starting unnecessary arguments with me, saying how our friendship was one-sided, and at that point I just didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. But I never told her about anything I was thinking, and the reason why I never did was cuz ever since middle school I was always afraid to share my opinions to her in fear that she’d explode and get mad, so for me to tell her how I felt about our friendship was a no-go, which wasn’t the best decision but it is way too late now. Fast forward to now, I’m at a different college (not cuz of her), it is the 2nd semester and the last time I’ve seen her was New Year’s Eve, and that was the last time I spoke to her. I’ll admit, ever since the summer I’ve been having this one-sided conflict with her, just bc of everything that happened and also the specific things she’s said to me during everything that rubbed me the wrong way. Obviously she doesn’t know I have these feelings towards her but like I said, it is way too late to say anything, even if it wasn’t I wouldn’t say anything, and I just have to live with it. But I have felt guilty about these feelings for a while, on and off, but also that I haven’t reached out to her. She hasn’t reached out to me either though. This is literally what I wanted too, I wanted to slowly drift apart from her and that’s what happened, but I just feel so guilty that I secretly hate her and I won’t reach out to her cuz of it, even tho she hasn’t said anything to me either. I just had to get that off my chest, but is this considered real-events ocd? Can anyone relate?
Currently struggling with guilt on how my partner and I became a couple. I lived in a small town at the time and wasn’t getting out much. I forced myself to go online and meet multiple different men for dates. My current boyfriend stood out amongst the rest. We had good conversations and talked for about 3 weeks before meeting in person. Now I think this is where the issue/ocd comes into play. I wasn’t “obsessed” or “infatuated” with him at first sight. It was literally just a date to me and we got along well and just kept at it till 6 months in we were “official” My love for him was and still is an ongoing slow burn. I find him more attractive now than I did originally and he is a very good man who I believe I’m compatible with, but… My ROCD is telling me I’m just convincing myself. How can I love someone I wasn’t crazy about at first sight. I will meet someone I have more passion and lust for and leave him. Which causes so much anxiety because I don’t want that. I want our love to continue to grow, but I feel so ashamed of these thoughts at times.
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