no boner

Does anyone else when they have the thoughts, they feel against it, but they still get arousal or tenglings sensations in the groinal area? Because this is what I experienced today and I feel like crap. This is going to be very triggering for a lot of you, but there are a lot of times that I notice things from kids. For example, there is a thirteen year old kid who looks very developed for her age, and I take notice of (and this already sounds creepy to me) her chest. Today with my thoughts, I imagined as if I were touching it, and although I usually "no no or "I don't want to do that", she is a kid, etc., I still get responses in my groinal area, and It felt very real. Even now, I feel as though I am faking it, even though I groan 😮‍💨 from it, and feel as though I am a fraud. Does anyone relate?

Is it normal feeling no connection towards your boyfriend if you think you're dealing with ROCD. I was talking with my therapist last Wednesday and she asked me if I can picture a future with them for the longest time I did but now I feel like my head is trying to tell me no is that common?

I know that anxiety and OCD can affect you in a lot of ways and I know it can affect your sex life. I was having sex with this chick about 4 days ago and everything about was amazing. it was a random hookup. But I got tired quick and got so worried about meeting certain expectations during intercourse I lost my erection part way through and couldn't match her pace and that felt honestly embarrassing and debilitating. Like there is no way I should be not keep it up with this chick. But I am aware anxiety can destroy performance in intercourse and I look at porn and notice other guys maintain erections forever without constant stimulation. A few seconds with stimulation and I lose mine. But I am been like that pretty much forever. Do I have misconception about how that works or is something wrong with me cause the doubt sucks. The girl even said that it was weird how I got soft after not that long. But she tried to be supportive for the most part but it felt terrible. If i am not flexing by pelvic muscles it feels like I can't maintain it.