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I know that the only solution to OCD is to stop the loop by stopping the compulsion. However I have pur O OCD and I want with all my soul, all my being, all my will, to stop doing what is keeping up the loop. But I have no idea of what compulsion is keeping this going ? All I know is that once I remember "I will die one day. And everyone will die one day" it is over, my mind is going to torture me every single second with thoughts about it and that I am going to have horrible anxiety every single second to the point of literal torture for a whole entire year with no break.

Hi to everyone, I want to share with you my actual situation. I'm 26 and I've been diagnosed OCD 2 years ago. Now I'm doing therapy once a week and I'm starting ERP but I'm still struggling. It seems to me that I'm not reaching anything in life... I'm an aspiring tattoer, but I'm extremely afraid to apply as an apprentice in a shop; I mean that I worry about what could happen and so the anxiety increases till nervous breakdown. I also have many intrusive thoughts about another tattoo I would like to do and for this reason I'm avoiding it. Theese fears makes me question about my identity till crisis. I still live with my mother and I work only 3 days per week: I'm really ashamed of it. I feel so isolated and blocked.. Depression is another issue and my mom doesn't tolerate it; so she repeats to me that I have to find another job to feel better. I don't like my self and I hate how I'm living... I hope I don't disturb anyone. I'm not seeking reassurences; I'd just like to read your opinion.

I can't anymore! The anxiety is so bad my hands are trembling and I felt like throwing up. I feel like i admitted something. I felt like I agreed! Me and my fam member were gonna share a soda. I dont normally drink soda, so my fam member was excited and happy. I got a random thought that said that this thought is like when people withhold doing the deed with their partners and that she was acting like an excited bf and that i was basically acting like that with her but in terms of sharing soda. I felt anxiety in my gut but it felt confusing. I was about to say no like normal but then I voluntarily said "yknow what? I like it. Im going to think this in the future and ima miss the thoughts" idk why I said that but i think i meant it but something made me feel uneasy and like my stomach was still hurting from anxiety... but I rmemeber i was questioning the anxiety in my gut bc I thought that it was pleasure. I was confused about it and said that. But I felt like I said something wrong. And literally moments later I regretted having said that and started to spiral especially when ocd said I sexualized them and wanted to keep sexualizing her. I have been spiraling for 6 hours nonstop! And im trembling rn and I was crying. I had a panic attack. Is this still ocd?! Did I sexualize her???

Sometimes I feel incredibly sad and lonely. That I can never speak about the things I’m struggling with. I’m scared to be judged. Scared that people won’t believe in me and tell me what I’ve gone through isn’t that serious or important. I can’t just “suck it up and move on”, that’s not who I am and never going to be me. I just what there was someone that I really could be 100% honest with. Even my closest friends will never be close enough, I’ll always be hiding a part of myself. I am never fully me, and I’m not sure that I want to be, just don’t know how much longer I can put on a mask before I begin to let it all spill out. OCD has ruined me. My entire life, could’ve been so different if I didn’t feel so sick in the head. My relationships. My achievements. Everything. I’m tired of it all. I want to be normal but I’m not. I’m just upset.

Adults only I have a very bad porn addiction and I relapsed to ai generated content of celebrities and I've been looking up so many things about the legality of it and there are posts saying it's both legal and illegal and I can't forgive myself for having this go this far. When I was a teenager sexual photoshopped pictures and gifs exist and I watched a lot of those thinking it was okay but I don't think it was okay now. I think I've really messed up and I feel like an absolute disgusting monster. I've even seen this be done in wrestling games and for some dumb reason it didn't bother me The laws are so confusing I just don't know what to believe but the point is I feel so much shame and distraught over this awful addiction. Apparently deepfakes are legal under the first amendment as long as they aren't spread for misinformation. I just don't know but I also no longer want sex in my life I know there's a stretch but all it's ever done is make my life worse and worse A lot of people say it's legal to keep to yourself but illegal and very back to distribute but I've never ever tried to create this stuff using real people, I've only tried once using a fictional character who is middle aged Then I read there was a law only criminalizing uploading, creating, and sharing ai generated celebrity content but not exactly the viewing

Hey everyone I’m looking for advice/ support from anyone else who may be going through or experienced something similar. This may be a long post so thank you to whoever actually reads it all x So recently (a few months ago) I started looking into OCD as I learnt what it really was, and a lot of it resonated with me. An example is when I was younger I struggled a lot with obsessing over god and became extremely religious at the age of 7 leading to extreme praying every night and feeling this immense weight of being a good person and I needed to pray to make sure I was. I don’t struggle with this anymore but as I have looked more into OCD there is so many things I experience that I have thought are normal or just my anxiety or ADHD. I regularly cancel out my horrific intrusive thoughts with ‘good’ thoughts to make sure I’m not a terrible person and I want to do or think those things. I have an extreme obsession with being a good and morally right person, so much so that I have had to quit my job (I am still in school) as I was so terrified that if I went I would say or do something and people would view me as a bad person. The same thing happened at school, I barely ever went and if I did it was usually after a panic attack. This was also caused by feeling like if I went something bad would happen to my family at home and I would be responsible because I wasn’t there. Every night I have to ruminate and step through every thing I may have said or done that could make me a bad person and it usually ends it lots of ‘what ifs’ or ‘maybe i did something terrible and i just forgot’. I have tried opening up to my mum (i am only 16) and i had a therapist who specialised in OCD for a few sessions but it was online and i hated it. It is so clear to me that my mum doesn’t think I have it. Every behaviour that i say could be OCD she always says it could just be ADHD which just sends me into a further spiral of ‘i am a bad person because im lying and i dont really have OCD’ so now I can’t talk to anyone about it over this constant thought that i am lying. Even when I was 7 at a psychologist they said I had OCD tendencies but she brushed it off as my anxiety. She tells me she doesn’t know enough about it to understand why I think I have it but she’s not doing anything to learn more. I have sent her numerous articles and things I resonate with but she never reads them. Even with the OCD therapist we did a assessment/ form thing where I filled out how much I related to the OCD symptoms and my mum did one how much she thought I related to them. I scored super high on it for OCD symptoms and she literally said she didn’t think I related to more than one or two. That led me to learn about pure O ocd as a lot of my compulsions are in my head or not seen. Some examples are repeating certain numbers or phrases to cancel out intrusive thoughts in my head, avoidance of events where I could do something wrong or bad, struggling making even the smallest decisions over fear it wont be the ‘right’ one, constant worry over if im not ‘perfect’ (perfect grades, morals, behaviours)that im not adhering to the invisible moral code that determines if im good, frantically googling for hours what my intrusive thoughts mean and if they are thoughts a bad person has, signs I am a bad person, am I a psychopath etc. Another thing that has been happening recently thats more visible is i absolutely HAVE to speak out if one of my family members says something that I see as mean or morally incorrect and its like this guilty by association thing and it makes me spiral as I feel that it is my responsibility to make sure that they are good people too (i know it sounds crazy). It has led to a big argument with my mum where she yelled at me for being too “self-righteous” and thinking im “better than everyone because i have morals and that everyone else who is worse than me” and that she is sick of my lectures about her being “too mean” or a “bad person”. Honestly i didnt even know how to react to that. I felt so guilty because I know I do that I know I know but I know the guilt will consume me either way. It is honestly consuming me and I just wish for a day where I’m not policing every thought and behaviour of mine. Sorry for that very long rant but hoping that someone can give their thoughts if they have gone through the same thing or have any advice for what to do ❤️❤️❤️

Was anyone's OCD triggered by a specific event? I keep replaying this one moment where I just suddenly stopped in my tracks at a comment. The day before this happened, I had a difficult conversation with my boyfriend -- it was on my mind, maybe I was already stressed which set off a 9-month long flare up? Before this, I was on top of the world with the best couple years of my life.

Hey y’all, I’m gearing up for the OCD Super Bowl for me aka thanksgiving and Christmas lol. I have a TON of ocd thoughts surrounding food especially when that food is cooked by other people. Combine that with the fact that the holidays line up with cold and flu season and it makes the perfect recipe for an OCD disaster for me. I really wish my brain wasn’t like this because I want to enjoy the holidays and spending time with family but all I want to do is lay in my bed in the dark. What is your guys’ “OCD Super Bowl”?

Does anyone make themselves say intrusive thoughts in their head to see how it makes them feel or if they believe them? Like testing yourself ?

These past two weeks my intrusive thoughts about my fear of psychosis and going crazy have come back. There was times when I would start to be better than bam anxiety all over again and I’m just so scared cause it feels so real and scarier from the last time I had it. Yesterday I had a Friendsgiving and something triggered it so bad that I went down a rabbit hole of videos and I got the worst anxiety and couldn’t even eat dessert and that’s my favorite part of the whole night. I didn’t get much sleep and right now I feel like I actually may lose it and I’m not doing myself any good from lack of sleep. I just feel so alone and no matter how much I tell myself they’re just thoughts and letting myself sit with the uncomfortableness and fear and just can’t shake it off. I think I’ve better DP/DR and it’s not making the situation better but I’m past the point of anything giving me relief and am just so scared. I just feel so alone and I have no one to talk to who has ever gone through this like me. I just want to be okay and normal. I was doing good these past months and bam I’m hit with all these thoughts. Please tell me it gets better.

Adults only I'm just sick of this cycle of needing my phone again and again and again. I'm sick of bringing it with me everywhere I go. I'm sick of thinking about where it is endlessly when I put it somewhere I forget. I'm sick of having to use it to go to sleep. I'm sick of reassurance seeking. But above all else, I'm just so. So sick of porn. I'm so sick of watching it when I don't want to. I don't even enjoy doing it anymore. It's just so routine and it's just an escape from the life that I hate right now because of OCD. I just hate this so much. I hate being so attached to it for so many years. I hate the trauma that it brings me after seeing so many horrible things at a young age. I hate when I scroll to find the perfect video I see a lot of awful, gross shit that doesn't align with my morals and disgusting people uploading fictional minors and other characters. I hate that my mind is now being all like "Oh you want to see that and play it off" or go "why did you check if it was a minor, did you want to see that? Ew" when looking for the perfect video. I'm tired of escalating to the extreme videos. Someday I just wanna be in a relationship and have REAL love instead of being so hooked on this souless, rancid bullshit we call porn every single day. I hate the anxiety it brings me and I hate the sleepless nights it gives me. I hate that this never leaves my mind. It's pathetic. It's fucking lame. I hate that this is still bothering me so much and there are other peers in my life that aren't dealing with this, are in relationships, going to college, getting married, and I'm just stuck with this fucking OCD and this stupid porn routine. It makes me so angry and it makes me feel like a complete joke and a failure. I seriously hate this shit so much. So I'm gonna turn off my phone and just not use it for the night. I hate this so much and I just wish I could metaphorically kill it and never have it show up.

Adults only, no minors So I'm feeling more calm. I'm not as stressed as I was in the morning. Mentally I'm at the point where what I was watching that I felt crossed a moral line is something I shouldn't be watching in pornography, but it's also not necessarily bad to have these fantasies and attractive interests in celebrities. It's very wrong to have stuff like that he publicly shared because now it's on the Internet for everyone to see but I don't think it's bad if it's kept to one's self and not shown online at all. That is what fantasies are at the end of the day anyway. I still don't feel great that I escalated to that kind of stuff because it really does make me uncomfortable in that context but I am feeling better than I did earlier. I'm getting thoughts saying that I'm absolutely disgusting and I'm trying to shift blame but I'm in just gonna try and let it pass

I keep getting intrusive thoughts of m@sturbation to things that are morally wrong and it’s making me feel so guilty and undeserving to be a parent 😔 it’s making me hate myself so much, does anyone else experience this?😔

I feel like I have a good 10 “scenarios” I go over majority of the time and a few of them are Pocd related. It’s always based off memory which turns into a what if I did this. For example me being in a car alone with a friends kid then what if I done this, what if I done that etc. It’s funny because at the time I remember ringing my friends as I wanted “proof” nothing happened as I was on the phone. Yet in true ocd fashion I look at the moments before I rang my friends - something could have happened then. I don’t talk to that friend anymore so couldn’t even try and get some sort of reassurance there.. This isn’t my main theme but it’s up there. How does anyone handle this? Surely “maybe it did, maybe it didn’t” helps. That’s awful…

My bf and I have been dating for a little over a year. The past 5 months have been rocky. I’m anxiously attached and he leans more avoidant but *he isn’t a full blown avoidant* and didn’t really start showing symptoms till months later when the fighting became a lot. We talk everyday, see each other almost every day and he works night shifts as a nurse 8pm-8am then sleeps all day when he’s off then goes back into work. Recently, we had a small tension moment mid-week. Not a fight. I asked to hang out, he got a little short, said he was tired, and later told me “I’m fine, just want some time to myself.” I respected that and backed off. But then… nothing. He hasn’t spoken to me in 8 days. No “I need a few days,” No “I’ll reach out soon,” No check-ins, No follow-up after I sent a gentle “hey, how are you doing? just checking in.” This is the first time in our entire relationship that he’s gone silent. Even during horrible fights, he never went more than a few hours without responding. For context: • The past few months he has felt emotionally drained, overwhelmed, and questioned whether the relationship could get better. • But we had four really good days right before the shutdown — closeness, affection, no tension. • He has not broken up with me, hasn’t asked for his stuff back, hasn’t unfollowed me, hasn’t said “we need to talk,” nothing. • He is just… gone. Silent. Still at his apartment. Still going to work. Just ignoring me. I’m trying to figure out what this is: Is this: 1. An avoidant shutdown / deactivation (where the avoidant withdraws completely but eventually comes back once regulated), OR 2. An avoidant discard / slow breakup (where they emotionally detach, say nothing, and essentially let the relationship fade), OR 3. Just a burnt-out man shutting down and being immature and avoidant of conflict—not actually ending things but also not communicating at all, OR 4. Something else entirely? I’m looking for honest, non-sugarcoated insight from people who are avoidant, anxiously attached, therapists, or anyone who has lived either side of this. What does this behavior look like to you? Avoidant shutdown? Discard? Burnout? Immaturity? Has anyone experienced something similar? Do I keep respecting his space and not blow up since blowing up has gotten us here when he is genuinely an amazing person who didn’t deserve me bringing trauma into this relationship OR is he discarding me? He said months ago if it was over he’d never text me and wouldn’t care. (He is drama sometimes) but then also two weeks ago said if it was over he’d never ghost me and he would tell me. I’m not asking if I should continue being with him. I just want to know is this space he’s had to demand bc I never gave it and he’s burnt out or am I being discarded? Or is my ocd latching onto anything

I’ve been through a really tough year, especially with OCD, and I want to be open about it in case it helps someone else feel less alone. If anything I share resonates, feel free to comment. My OCD first showed up as sexual-orientation OCD while I was studying abroad in Spain. My program had mostly girls, and my home university is also a very LGBTQ-friendly campus. Being in spaces where sexuality was talked about so openly made me feel pressured to “figure out” my orientation with certainty, which fueled the OCD spiral. At the same time, I was dealing with health OCD around concussions, so everything piled up. In August 2024, after a confusing conversation with a friend, I met a man I have a very deep emotional connection with — a connection that honestly has never gone away. I believed, and part of me still believes, that it was a “twin flame” connection. But the intensity of it triggered multiple OCD themes: sexual-orientation OCD, relationship OCD, existential and religious OCD, and magical thinking. I went down a lot of rabbit holes trying to make sense of it. Around the same time, I started noticing more dysfunction in my family, especially with my mom, and things eventually blew up. The fight we had escalated, and while I don’t want to go into detail, it did get to a point where I felt like my personal space and property were being invaded. I didn’t feel emotionally safe, so I wanted to leave. I ended up staying with my grandparents in Nashville, where I fell into isolation and depression. I put a lot of emotional weight on the man I have the connection with, which led him to set boundaries, and I spiraled even more. My grandparents eventually said I needed to return home, but my mom would only let me come back if I got off Prozac and signed papers giving her control over my medication, which I’m not comfortable with. So now I’m staying at a friend’s apartment on an air mattress while I try to get into a PHP program for OCD and figure out insurance and independence. There were also moments when intrusive thoughts felt like psychic “visions,” which scared me and led me to say things I now regret. My family doesn’t understand OCD and thinks I’m faking or self-diagnosing, which has been incredibly painful. I’m not in the best place mentally, emotionally, or financially, but I’m sharing this because I want this space to feel safe for others too. I also wish I had gotten help sooner. My biggest compulsion right now is using ChatGPT for reassurance before making decisions — which is even why I’m using it to shorten this post. But I’m trying to break that cycle and focus on real recovery. Thanks for reading if you made it here💓💓

It’s 4:30 am lol My brain is spinning a bit I’ll say Idk I keep worrying I don’t feel enough or I’m not excited enough to be with my partner long term. I’m worried I’m only thinking of him as a means to an end/an obligation. But it’s not Yes part of me wants to live with him so I can get out of my dorm but I wanna live with him cuz I love him and he’s fun. I hate when he has to go home and he can’t stay over. I want him to stay here with me. Cuddle all night. Idk the lack of butterflies makes my brain panic. The fact I’m not excited all the time makes my brain panic Makes it worry I’d be better off with someone else- another man? A woman? I get nauseous at the thought of either. I get nauseous around him too so idk what’s real. I kinda do tho? Looking at him makes me feel safe and warm but my body keeps making me nauseous when I don’t want to be. I try not to focus on it but it keeps coming back It makes everything so confusing. I just know I want him. That’s it. I don’t care about anyone else romantically. I’m scared thatll change. That at 60 I’ll drop everything for someone else. I don’t want to. I don’t feel warm and fuzzy telling him I love him- is that normal? It still feels nice to say it and to hear it. I think we’re so used to saying it to each other. Same goes for nicknames lol. No warm and fuzzy feelings when he calls me honey or habibti (he speaks Arabic lol) but I still love it. It feels surreal that we’ve been together almost 2 years. Idk. I’m worried I’m not happy enough about that but I cry tears of joy thinking about how far we’ve come and how far we have yet to go. I love running my hands through his hair. Recently I’ve been overthinking touching him. I avoid the pec area a lot cuz I’m worried if I touch it I’ll think of women. It’s never made me uncomfortable before but now it does. Which is annoying. I’m kinda trying to re integrate ig? I’m worried I’m touching him wrong or smthn. It’s never bothered me before but with my recent soocd it’s kinda tripping me the fuck up yknow??? I adore him. I love his body. He’s hot. He’s funny. He’s got nice muscles. He’s soft. Warm. Why am I suddenly feeling weird about certain parts? Is this normal in ocd? Hopefully someone takes the time to read all of this I genuinely do love him but I’m so worried I’m actually a liar and repulsed by his body. The first time I saw him shirtless all I wanted to do was run my hands all over him. Hold him close. Clearly I am not a lesbian. Now I still do, just not in an aggressively horny way like when we first got together LOL. It’s still horny, when we get going, yay responsive desire. But most of the time it’s just touching and cuddling. Idk I feel like I’m going crazy

Im a dude and im curious how women especially if they are shy show signs of attraction because I’m getting intrusive thoughts in my head, “ what if she thinks I’m thirsty,” what if she thinks I’m a creep or she thinks I’m doing too much . Obviously yall need context, too much to type tbh. Here’s a summary, there’s a female barista since I laid eyes on her it was like I was instantly attracted to her. We locked eyes a few times and I smiled at her and she smiled back at me we did this twice, one time she took my order she smiled and look down fast. Another time I asked her for her drink recommendation and I been ordering that since I actually do like the drink. This may sound cheesy and sound like nothing but remember summary So I’m thinking maybe she feels some attraction to me because I’m definitely feeling her. Problem is I never got her name and she isn’t always the cashier so sometimes for me to have a chance to speak to her I gotta wait until her coworker is busy so she becomes the cashier. Mind you I’m hella nervous and she seems nervous too but she’s pretty good at hiding I can tell she’s a lil shy or something Today I order coffee and she was at the cash register this time. I was nervous but kept it cool and I said the hi and how are you, then I mentioned how her drink recommendation for me hooked, I was so nervous my mind was blank she responded and smile that’s nice then I asked for her name, she told me and I said nice to meet to you but forgot to tell her my name…. But I was super excited and stoked that I finally got her name maybe from there I can start subtle small talk it’s tough because she’s working I’m not going to have full blown conversations but I’m curious if any girl is reading this at this point am I tripping? If you were crushing on someone what does through your mind and how do you act around your crush if you’re a female. I’m getting so many intrusive thoughts probably I’m really drained from my job and everything going on I even had a thought,” what if that isn’t her real name and she wants me to leave her alone.” Bro it’s a barista why would they lie about their name and I didn’t do nothing wrong but my mind of course, plus if I’m attracted to a women and I really like her how can I just sit back and don’t make a move. Anyways thanks for reading this long post I probably sound crazy because yall probably thinking she’s a barista she’s just being nice lmfao. (Edit) I’m even debating on not going into the coffee shop because what if I’m going in too much and she might think I’m doing too much because I think she knows I like her and she might be turned off by how much I go into the coffee shop by the way I go there during work and work on my homework. I don’t go there for no reason of course.

this theme is legit the worst. i hate that i’m pulling away from people i love and isolating myself because of this. i just want the worries and doubts to go away but idk how to sit with it when it feels so convincing. how am i supposed to accept uncertainty on something that goes completely against my morals and something i couldn’t live with if it were true? why do false attraction and groinals feel so damn real sometimes and how am i supposed to know the difference? i just feel scared to open up about this and confirming my worst fears.

Is anyone willing to share their experiences with taking these SSRIs? I want to give them a shot. I'm sick of sleepless nights, anxiety that is too much, and not being able to do the things I want in life because of OCD. I would really appreciate this.