Porn is wrong to begin with, whether it’s legal or illegal.
Porn messes with the brain and turns you into someone dependent on it, like a person addicted to drugs.
It’s not something good and it’s not something useful.
You don’t even need to analyze it too much — all you need to understand is that porn destroys your confidence, and it’s not something healthy whether you’re watching it or sharing it.
Especially because some children might see it, and so on.
But that’s not really what I want to say — that was just clarification.
Listen… addiction itself comes for many reasons depending on your environment and your circumstances.
But from what I’ve read from your posts, your porn addiction is basically an escape from reality —
an escape from your life,
from the pressure of anxiety,
from intrusive thoughts,
from lack of self-confidence.
And also because it has been an addiction for many years.
This is based on what I saw in your posts.
Another clarification: sex itself is not bad.
It’s something enjoyable and it creates a good bond with a partner, and a healthy emotional connection.
But when it becomes an addiction and uncontrolled, it brings anxiety and guilt.
Because dopamine goes up and down —
you watch something and dopamine rises,
then it suddenly drops, and you feel guilt and sadness.
It’s not like real intimacy with a partner who is emotionally close to you —
in real intimacy the brain releases other chemicals, and it’s stable.
So sex is not bad… but YOU are the one who needs to control yourself.
Maybe schools never teach us how to deal with our thoughts, our sexual desires, our emotions, how to manage our time, how to control our mind…
but YOU have to learn that.
And I’m really empathetic with you, because I kind of understand what you’re going through —
the frustration,
the guilt,
the cycle of “you want to stop → then you relapse → then you regret it.”
It’s a real addiction loop.
And your brain doesn’t want to get rid of it because it got used to it:
desire → relief → guilt → intrusive thoughts → anxiety → discomfort → shame (depending on the content) → compulsive action → temporary relief
Then because your OCD is advanced and your anxiety is high, your brain searches for any escape.
Any quick escape…
And suddenly you think of porn 🔥
And the cycle continues forever, sometimes even worse:
Instead of one video, you watch three or four.
Instead of OCD attacking once a day, it hits every hour… then every few minutes.
Because it’s an addiction cycle.
It traps you.
Honestly, you need to take a real step toward treatment.
Nothing will change unless YOU decide to change it.
You are the one in control.
And the good thing is that OCD is treatable —
and porn addiction too.
So here’s what I think:
You really should go to a specialist in OCD treatment — cognitive behavioral therapy, exposure and response prevention, and maybe medication.
And you should also see an addiction specialist, preferably one who is experienced with porn addiction.
Now I will tell you steps that might help you:
1. Habits are formed from:
a cue → routine → reward.
In your case it’s the same.
You need to cut the cues.
2. The second thing — the first real stage of treatment — is psychoeducation.
You MUST educate yourself.
Psychoeducation is extremely important — it’s the foundation of treatment.
Learn about:
– OCD
– the OCD cycle
– exposure and response prevention
– delayed response
– mindfulness and how to use it
– acceptance and commitment therapy
– cognitive distortions
Everything that might help — listen to it.
Not once, but consistently.
And it’s better to watch videos from specialists in ERP, CBT, ACT, etc.
Even if you’re unsure about going to therapy in person, you can benefit from online educational videos.
3. Replace the habit.
Replace porn with other habits:
meditation,
gym,
reading,
anything.
Habit replacement is very important.
You can read about all this in the book Atomic Habits.
Also, delete all porn apps, make your phone harder to access.
And every time you relapse, write down WHY.
What triggered you?
Why did you go back?
You have to study your pattern.
You will fail many times — that’s normal.
Relapse is part of learning.
Eventually you’ll understand how your addiction works.
Go to a therapist, do real therapy sessions — even online ones if they’re cheaper.
And remove the idea that medication is dangerous just because it has side effects.
Yes, maybe you’ll feel some side effects at first, but they are temporary until your body adapts.
CBT is also extremely helpful. Read about it.
You CAN start treating yourself alone with education, but I don’t fully recommend it — having a specialist is better.
But you can still benefit from online therapists’ videos.
If you
