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I don't even know what my compulsions are so how can I resist them? I am always doubting my OCD diagnosis because of this very reason. How can I get better when I don't even know what is keeping me from getting better?

i had some intense intrusive thoughts about the past while trying to sleep and it scared the hell out of me to the point that i couldn't sleep. i just woke up this morning feeling like crap after getting a nightmare afterwards.

I am struggling recently. I am working with my therapist and I have recently finally did an exposure I have been struggling to do for months. However, I also recently have had more obsessions and given in to more compulsions after the exposure which has made my ocd worse and caused me to mitigate the exposure I did in the first place. Since my worst point with ocd, I have made a lot of progress. This is one of my hardest areas to overcome, but I feel like it’s setting me backwards and resulting in me engaging in compulsions that I have not engaged in for while. I am feeling mentally exhausted from all this, and it reminds me of how I felt when my ocd was at its worst. I am exhausted of ocd winning and know I need to make a change to be free of ocd.

I’m afraid of falling in love with anyone now. Especially since I have pocd. I fucking hate it. I’m afraid of liking someone that’s even 1 year younger than me (I’m only 18 btw). I’m so scared this has been the most terrifying thought for me. I sound and feel like a creep writing this. How can I stop these thoughts I do NOT want them turning into feelings which I’m very afraid of. I want to not wake up again but I still keep waking up. Might eat a whole jar of melatonin just to not wake up again. And I’m afraid if I don’t have ocd then I’m actually a creep which I do NOT want to be!!! I’M SO AFRAID THAT I HAVE FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS WHEN I SEE A CHARACTER THATS MY FAVORITE BUT IT’S A KID IM TERRIFIED. I’M SO SCARED OF MYSELF AND I JUST NEED TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST. I am petrified. It’s like I’m in a never ending nightmare but I’m not in a dream… it’s like there’s another side to me that is not me…

I’m going to a Psychiatrist today for the first time because of ocd. Do all Psychiatrist knows about ocd and the themes ? Or I need Psychiatrist that knows about ocd cause im afraid she will not know and then she will think I’m crazy or a bad person

hey everyone !! i come again asking for help. my ocd gives me copious amounts of intrusive thoughts and feelings, and while i try to not stop and think about them too much, the fact they are happening, that im thinking and feeling those things is very scary, which makes me overthink them, worry, try to disprove them, yknow, classic ocd stuff. thats also not the only issue though. this makes it so that for the rest of my time i live based off "if i dont do this, it means that x feelings or x thoughts were true" and (as lots of you probably know) that is very exhausting and upsetting. i want to live my life without paying attention to my ocd and without attributing every single thing i do to whatever my ocd throws at me that day. does anybody have any tips? i would really appreciate it !!

What does it feel like as you go through the process? I feel like absolute crap. I feel like it just keeps attacking me. I’m exhausted and new thoughts and urges keep coming. Is this normal? I thought by not doing compulsions I would get better but I just feel so awful. I don’t even know who I am! And I feel like I can’t find joy and everything seems to be a threat. Any insight would be great.

The pain of ocd is unbearable...I know it's not me. But why do I have these thoughts? What's wrong with me?! People should stay away from me. I'd rather my arms be cut off than harm someone. I hate me...the medication isn't working. I keep remembering past mistakes adding to all the reasons I think I'm evil. Seemingly validating my ocd intrusive thoughts...I can't do this. I wish I had a therapist. I wish I could afford this app.

Hi, sort of a vent, idk. This year i had a really bad time with my ocd and autism. I had a sudden and unexpected change that happened and it sent me into a spiral. I felt so out of control and that made my triggered certain things with my ocd so everything just started going downhill. A relationship i had that didn't last long cause i couldn't get my brain to calm down and then i lost 2 friends that I'd known for years. Even though i acknowledged that the friendships weren't great and they weren't the right people for me, i still found it really hard to come to terms with and i keot overthinking and going over every single detail of what happened. It's just hard enough for me to make friends as it is and even though those people weren't really great for me it's still like, great now in back to being alone. Im waiting for my counselling to start (I've been on the waiting list for ages now) and i still have 3 friends i talk to but they have their own things going on, i don't feel comfortable bringing up what im going through because i know it is likely to trigger them or might bring them down in some way and honestly they've been through so much, i just want them to be happy and i don't want to put anything else on them. But then that leaves me feeling like i wanna cry as soon as I stop talking to them/hanging out, cause im carrying so much and I'm surrounded by family that just diminish what im going through and don't respect me. They help me with some things i can't lie and i still have a connection with them but im just over here wondering what exactly am i supposed to do? Theres always something going on and i know thats just life but this year, the way things have been getting on top of me i just constantly feel so tired and done with it all. Ive considered going in-patient but being a black person who is so often misunderstood, i don't know if i would feel safe in those places. Also i know I'd feel so uncomfortable because my need for things to be so clean and perfect and orderly is overwhelming enough when im in my own space or at my family's home let alone some random place I've never been. Idk im just tired of my brain and life right now. To think my day was going well as i was watching one of my favourite shows before i got a call telling me i needed to leave the house to do xyz last minute and I've just been feeling miserable and irritated since then. I can't go back to my show either cause i would start associating everything with something negative and overthinking again. It would be amazing to just be a vegetable rn.

so i have harm ocd and recently it switched to having to make sure my loved ones are breathing in their sleep and i did a big thing this week i stayed at my dads house for the first time in 3 months i neevr was able to bc my ocd was like what if this or that but i did it and stayed for 2 days and i was like what if i don’t love my mom and now that im back at my moms house it’s like my mind is convincing me im wanting something bad to happen and it’s so scary bc it feels so real and true i feel crazy, what do i do?? i feel like im in and out of reality

I’ve been getting really bad intrusive thoughts and idk how to deal with them or what they mean TW : So basically I’ll see stuff on social media of people going through certain things and I get intrusive thoughts like “oh what if people in the comments are going through this and I don’t see it” and so I’ll look up posts of that topic and scroll for hours just to make sure people are okay. I don’t know what to do and I really wanna help everyone but am I a bad person for not commenting or scrolling through every single post and comment section? I just keep getting intrusive thoughts like “what if You’re just letting it happen and it’s all your fault.” And I just don’t know what to do. Am I a bad person for that?

It's funny but my soocd subtype seems to pop up during fall and winter, and leaves during spring and summer. Currently it has me overanalyzing my friendship with my friend who happens to be gay. It's really frustrating. What makes this even worse is this friend and I are fairly close, (I see them as a parental type figure) and it makes it really awkward especially when they use words like honey or sweetie. They're biologically female, but identify as he/they, which again doesn't help my OCD. They're like 6 years older than me. Idk I'm just freaking out a bit lol.

I am doing everything I can to sit with the thoughts and the feelings and the urges. No matter how grotesque they are and not matter how real they feel, I am doing all I can to keep going about my day. But I am really struggling. Every time I feel like I’ve made progress, more and new thoughts come in. More anguish comes. I feel like I’m drowning. I keep going. But it comes and hits me harder. Even then, I keep going. I would think it would subside but it’s just hitting me harder and won’t stop. It’s making me concerned that I am doomed and this isn’t OCD. Please help me.

Can medication help with mental compulsions? Like not caring about the thought /ruminate about the thought and overthink the thought…

A image popped in my head that I saw earlier today, and something in my head said something gross in detail of something gross I saw, and said “oh you thought that on purpose” or “you said that, you’re a bad person” and it made me go “what if I’m a bad person And said that” and it’s causing me to panic, because I genuinely believe that I said something like that, because I feel like did??? It sounded like my voice?? And I genuinely feel like a bad person?? What if I did say that??? I have go over the story to make sure I didn’t actually say that Let me know if this is ocd so I can do better with how I react with it

When I get a thought but it’s not specific I don’t understand it (part of the time), like I got a intrusive thought right now and it was not specific but I wanted to realise the thought. Like sometimes ocd gives me a thought that I don’t understand/realise(like I do but it’s weird to explain) and I feel like I have to overthink about the thought to realise her. Is that normal?

Hi everybody! I started with a therapist who’s super pricey outside of NOCD, when I had mentioned that I’m struggling with OCD she didn’t seem too well versed she said oh so you’re struggling with intrusive thoughts? Lady you don’t know the half of it!! But I’m afraid of continuing because I don’t want to waste $180 a week for what is sold as someone who can treat and help with OCD then turns out to just be talking about stuff I’ve already talked about with past therapists! Anyway onto the question at hand! If I join NOCD and they don’t cover my insurance but I pay out of pocket fora real OCD/ERP specialist because I really need the help! Is NOCD going to help me? Or am I going to waste my time and should I keep trying my hardest to find ERP specialists on Google. I’m exhausted I just want to know I’m going to get help and relief from this before I put more money into therapy Any advice or honesty would help greatly! ❤️👈🏼

I’m so tired of my OCD changing “themes.” And no matter what it changes to, it’s always directed towards a specific person - my mom. My mom and I are very close. I consider her my best friend and we live together. I can share anything with her and she’s very supportive. I’m 32 now, but harm ocd started when I was 15 and she was the main target back then as well. I had a bad flare up this year and the harm thoughts came back, but about a week ago they turned into sexual thoughts. Graphic thoughts and images about incest. These thoughts typically make me feel panic and dread, and just an overall depressed feeling. It has made me uncomfortable to be around my mom, since I can’t even look at her without a sexual thought or image popping up. Even watching a romantic scene in a show, listening a romantic song, etc. My brain wants to put an image of her in my head. Even me fantasizing about a man that I’m attracted to will replace the man with my mom. They just keep popping up. So this of course makes me think I actually want these things, and are actually fantasies. I have started to wonder if I’m in actual denial or that these are my true feelings. I have never been a relationship before due to not having much interest in it plus my mental health issues started as a teen, but someday I would like to get married. But now I’m thinking maybe I’ve never pursued a relationship with someone else because I’m actually in love with my mom and want to be with her, but I can’t so I’m just suppressing my feelings. And I do love my mom, but I question myself is this just platonic or familial love? Also questioning our relationship in general now - is it unhealthy or too dependent? It makes me feel doubt, since I have never really been in love before with someone else so I have nothing to compare it to. Always just crushes or finding a man attractive, and I identify as straight. But I also have not thought of my mom in a sexual way before, so I’m hoping this is just my OCD acting up. Even thinking about a future relationship with a man is making me feel nervous, since I think if I have feelings for my mom, will I ever be able to be in a serious relationship someday? If I’m with someone will I actually just picture her? It makes me feel hopeless, like I can’t help how I feel and what if these things are true? Would I act on them? My brain even made me think, “you want to ask your mom to be in a sexual relationship with you and/or want her to ask you.” I feel like such a pervert for writing that, like a truly disgusting person. I know I don’t want these things to be true, but what if they are and I can’t help how I feel? Again just feel doubt and uncertainty, that I’m in denial, and not to mention just feeling like a very sick individual.

People are always talking about their contamination ocd and all that stuff and i know its selfish but like I wish that was all I had. I have never had a worse subtype than what I have now and its hell.

I love Terrifier and I love horror movies but I have these intrusive thoughts or fear ever since Terrifier 3 came out and I feel extremely bad about cause it’s not about me. Every time I hear someone talk negatively about the director and creator my brain goes “what if you support that?” Or “What if they’re actually sick in the head for making that movie?” Or “what if you’re a bad person for liking movies with so much blood and gore” or something like “the director is a bad person for making a movie like that you should not be watching that” or “you shouldn’t like that character” and etc. I feel so bad😭 and my ocd brain is asking “is he a bad person” “should I not enjoy this?” Etc. like I can’t enjoy shit with negitave Nancy’s and Joe’s on the internet and shit😞😭