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Does anyone feel like they might actually be crazy? I feel OCD has made me go insane. It's scary....

I don’t know where to start and don’t want to write a really long msg. I am really in a dip. I struggle to accept I have ocd and that there’s not some real issues or something else the matter with me. Even though I relate to ocd and can see its has clearly been part of the picture in the past and despite a psychologist saying it sounded like ocd I find it hard to believe or accept. What i’m experiencing feels so real. I have persistent fears about my child being abducted and have horrible graphic images related to that. I also have a lot of anxiety in my relationship (which is challenging) plus I have other life stressors going on. I have worried my boyfriend is a paeodophile and set up cameras in my daughter’s room. I also fear he will harm or kill me. That he’s cheating on me or has done and I said this one day. My boyfriend had been out late getting drunk and I couldn’t get hold of him. I said I feared he was shagging someone out the back of the pub. At the time he was kind and loving and said not to think those things and that he wouldn’t do that and loved me. However those words obviously stayed with him and he’s since been very angry that I thought that and finds it insulting and says I obviously don’t trust him and that maybe it’s me that’s doing what I fear he’s doing. I got angry and said I’ve an anxiety disorder and he said not to raise my voice to him and he stormed off and left. That was the night before my birthday. He called the next day to say happy birthday and made no mention of him storming off and made no apology when I saw him later. He gave me flowers and presents and took me out for dinner then made comments about the age I had turned (I’m 3 years older) he says it’s just a joke and banter but I feel it’s disrespectful. Anyway my child who is with her dad wanted to say goodnight to me (she’s been not wanting to stay there which has added to my anxiety that something will happen to her - that her not wanting to stay there is a sign and she isn’t safe and that something will happen) Anyway she rang whilst my boyfriend and I were having sex (which felt a bit aggressive/violent but I didn’t speak up. He eventually said what do u want as it’s your birthday and I said to go slow which he did) Anyway we stopped having sex and I answered the call from my child. She was ok and we spoke briefly. My boyfriend was really angry and said all sorts of things about my ex having had a ex with me on my birthday in the past and what did he think we were doing and he should have told my child not to call. He said he felt like I made him look like an idiot and that he doesn’t know how long he can carry on never having time alone with me without being interrupted. He left and went to his house but not til after I’d fallen asleep. I woke up and panicked to see his car gone and thought he’d gone to harm my ex or daughter or both or that he’d gone somewhere else to have sex with someone else as we didn’t finish. It feels like I’m living in some sort of nightmare with this amount of fear and distrust going on.

I don't feel like my real event ocd is actually normal. people don't just make mistakes or do stuff like that as a child. and I feel guilty and shameful because it's awful. how is that ocd and not just terrible and criminal. and the fact that I can't remember if I actually did something just as bad or something similar when I got older is insane. like why would I have done it again if I'm not a bad person? it feels like i might actually remember it and there's no way of knowing. it's gross and disgusting and criminal!!! how would I ever tell a therapist about those actions and expect them to not be weired out, concerned, and inclined to tell me same things that I'm thinking which is that I shouldn't be alive or I belong locked up for what I did. having ocd doesn't excuse my past mistakes, child or not. especially when I'm unsure if something happened again when I was an older teen and would have known better. and how do I live on and the people in my life don't know these mistakes. they wouldn't want to know me if they knew what I did so am I lying to them by omitting the awful things about myself??

Can someone please give me tips to prove my life I feel like nobody cares about me but I know everybody loves me I don't know how to explain it I just feel alone I feel like no one understands I hate going to school My friends don't care about me All my teachers are worried about me because I keep on miss so much school I just hate school so much and I want to kill myself sometimes and sometimes I think about bringing a pew pew to school and killing myself and others I don't want to I think it's my OCD but I just hate them all they don't really care about me I just hate the way I am I hate my gender and my body I just don't know what to do please someone can be tips I can't talk to my family don't think I'm crazy I can't tell anybody else this please someone help me I don't want to do it anything bad I want to go to college it's my last year and be happy but it's just so hard I don't know what to do please someone help me

Hi, i have questions about meditation. how does it help to ocd? (If it’s helps) 1. Do you feel less anxious? 2. Do you have less intrusive thoughts? I feel stuck on a thought, I keep thinking about it 24/7 and been fighting the urge to do compulsion all day. 3. Meds can reduce the urge to compulsion? 4. I don’t know why but when I have intrusive thought I can’t let go and I’m stuck on that thought until I do compulsion and that thought come back, so with meds do you feel less stuck on a thoughts?

And guilt and need to confess. Any tips? - it’s making me having suicidal thoughts.

I don't expect anyone to give my a full article of answers, but does anyone else experience more intensity of their OCD/intrusive thoughts during road trips/vacations?? I remember even long before being diagnosed I would be obviously excited for a vacation but at the same time so nervous for the vacations because i knew that my intrusive thoughts got so much worse and felt more "real" i guess in a sense during them. It's the weirdest thing. Maybe it's the long drives or just the stress of being in an unfamiliar place?? Appreciate y'all. Have a good one.

I was wondering if this is a thing. Like, say, especially if you are in the process of getting better. Doesn't doing ERP every day keep reminding you of your obsessions? Is there a point where you should do it less often? Or how does this work?

So I know I’ve asked this question before but it’s like finding the final answer to this question is an obsession in itself ….so I get fixated on stuff like this week it’s video game addiction topics I will research about video game addiction stories until I tire myself out about them and last week it was getting a new gaming system and researching questions/topics about it until I’ve researched so much that I’m not even excited about said item anymore then it can go into ocd reassurance seeking so I get obsessed about researching ANY topic and it’s like when I get my fix im done with it and the next week it will be something new like why are we addicted to soda and it’s just a cycle … does anyone else deal with this? Is it part of my ocd or is it just me as a person please help

So, a while ago, I was obsessing over feeling like I had to tell my best friend something. I couldn’t seem to bring myself to just do it but the guilt was eating me alive. One day, we had a conversation about something related to it and the conversation led to what I had to tell her. I told her, apologized, and things went will. It was unplanned but it was a good conversation. My guilt went away (although my OCD tried to bring it back some times) and we remained friends. Now, I have something else I need to tell my parents and I feel like it’ll be easier for me to talk about it in a conversation about something else I think they should know. My OCD is telling me I’m weak for doing it this way instead of just coming out and saying it randomly. It also tells me I’m manipulative because if it’s not the only thing I talk away, the weight of it won’t be the same and they need to know how terrible I am and how big this was. Additionally, what I need to tell them is something I did when I had a mental break down like eight years ago. I feel like if I mention my mental health, I’m not taking responsibility. I’m not trying to blame it and shrug it off like it doesn’t matter because there’s a reason I did it. It’s just that it’s an explanation. It’s what happened, and I was planning to mention it in a bigger conversation about mental health and the medication I’m on. I think I’m horrible for doing it this way, I think my OCD is right but when I try to just say it, my words get messed up from being unbelievably anxious. So I just feel weak and manipulative and awful.

I dont even know how to explain myself. Im 20 and I’ve never been in a relationship and one day i want to fall in love and be with someone. I really desire that and i want to love someone and i also wish i was a mother one day. The thing is, i always obsess about the thoughts of relationships. When i have a guy on my mind i always need to google stuff like “Signs you are in love” or “Signs you are attracted” just to know. When i think i might like someone i get these thoughts that “this is not it, you are just making things up etc.” I just feel so obsessed with it, like i always question if i can love, if i ever will be in love (i really want to), or the fact that some people at my age have a partner, slowly getting engaged or they are expecting a baby. Im scared that im just too old and nothing like that will happen to me. I just feel like urge to figure it out. Like who my partner is gonna be, if im gonna love someone. It’s hard to explain. I feel like i can not be just chill and live my life and not always focusing on these things. Then i compare myself with others and i feel like im broken because i feel like it will never happen to me. Then i even get thoughts that what if im aromantic. It also makes me anxious even though i dont think im one. Another thing is, that when this is mixed with SO-OCD its even more terrible😔 Sometimes when i have these thoughts about relationships and also so-ocd….i feel that my stomach is tight and i feel anxiety. Then i get scared that just because i think about relationships and i get tight stomach that must mean im just gay and denial and the thought about having a relationship with a men must be wrong for me, even though my natural thoughts are always with men. 😔😔 it bothers me. I feel like i will never be at peace.

And you don’t have to go full Carnivore or Vegan, or order certified organic expensive food programs. Staying away from the processed stuff, the preservatives, and seed oils is pretty much all you have to do. When I eat this way ^^ I would say all of my symptoms are improved by about 80% The cycle 🔄 repeats, though. I eat clean, cook all my meals (which can be a pain) and I do great all week. By the weekend, I’m feeling so good that I convince myself OCD and sleep problems have nothing to do with diet, and then I just go ahead and go to Taco Bell, start eating whatever I have a taste for, don’t cook, grab a frozen meal.. and then guess what happens It doesn’t happen immediately. It’s always about 24 hours after the fact. By Monday, I’m floored by anxiety, OCD games when I’m trying to sleep, odd depression upon waking up, no energy, falling back asleep while drinking morning ☕️ (and failing, sleep is impossible even tho I’m tired) and eventually I end up back on here. Always so thankful you guys are here, yet mad at myself because it starts all over again. Then in a panic, I go back to eating clean, cooking, as much as I don’t feel like it because I’m so down.. and again, after 24 hours, I’m good again. OCD is gone. Just thought I’d share for anyone who feels like they’re sinking. 🛟 I’m gonna add a list of foods I avoid. When I decide to indulge, these are the little buggers that mess up my whole mind: -Fast foods like 🍟 or 🌮 cooked in seed oils -All boxed cereals except Grape Nuts -All frozen meals except Amy’s Organic -All pizza from pizza places 🍕 (☹️ I know.) -Any and all gas station foods, hot or packaged. -Protein bars/meal bars with strange ingredients -Lunch meat -Restaurant food, fried foods -Yogurt with modified food starch and fake sweeteners -All baked goods, desserts, and candies -Anything with high fructose corn syrup -Cool Whip -Peanut butter -Fruit juice with added sugar -All dressings including Mayo -Bread, unless imported from Italy, or Sourdough -All soda So you might be thinking, what the heck is left? Eggs, organic pita bread, butter, full fat yogurt without the extra bad stuff, fruits, veg, baked potato, sour cream, sauerkraut, ground beef, steak, turkey,🥇shrimp, chicken, fish, pork, organic chocolate chips, organic brownie mix (use melted butter in place of veg oil), homemade tacos with Paramount pita, Aloha protein bars, almonds, ground fax (this works wonders for my brain) peanuts, seeds, avocado, hummus, organic cheese, lots of water! Give it a shot, you’ve got nothing to lose. Well, one thing you’d love to lose. 😉 It temporarily goes away. For me, anyway. Can’t speak for everyone but just wanted to share. ❤️💙

do uh, i’m contemplating faking sick to miss school tomorrow, because it’s friday and i don’t feel like going.. it’s because of a lot of stuff, i recently went through friend drama and lost my friends and i’m shy and socially anxious so it’s hard for me to talk, and i don’t feel wanted by the people i sit with for lunch i feel like a burden.. plus i have a bunch of classes with my ex best friends which hurts and stresses me out. and ocd makes it hard for me every day on top of that so i’m.. just making it through every week to be honest :( i feel bad to fake sick, but i want to stay home tomorrow and, apparently the guidance counselor is worried about me because i seem depressed

Does anyone else get the theme of fear of going crazy or into a psychosis ? I’ve been having that fear lately and it has been the worse ever. I’ve never had these thoughts before and I don’t know what triggered them that they won’t go way. I couldn’t eat for days from how scared I was of these thoughts. I keep having intrusive thoughts like what if you’re imagining it for example I was at TJ Maxx with my mom and I was looking for her and when I saw her a thought popped into my head like “what if that’s not her and your imagining it” it was so scary that I wanted to cry. Of course apart of me knows that’s not true but the thoughts keep popping up. I’m so scared and just want to be myself again. So if anyone has gone through this theme can you please tell me what helped you. I’ve also struggled with harm ocd, suicidal ocd and a lot of health anxiety. I can’t afford therapy so if yall have any recommendations on what helped your ocd please let me know. I’m so tired and feel so helpless. I want my life back.

Just a quick question for anyone on here today. Does anyone else's OCD get more prominent when they're mad?? Not necessarily "mad" but just frustrated. For example, I'll be having an argument with my girl and the intrusive thoughts just seem to arise way more frequent and severe i guess is a word i can use for it. They just pester me a lot more when I'm frustrated rather than just sitting around playing a video game or something. Appreciate y'all wit the feedback. Have a good one.

I don’t really wanna go into detail about what it’s about cause I feel like it’s super embarrassing, but there’s this one specific type of intrusive thought I get that I struggle extremely with ignoring/sitting in discomfort with. Does anyone have tips for managing something like this?

…waiting for someone you already meant spiritually… it’s hard. I just want to physically be with them and I can’t. Even with all the knowledge I have about them…temporarily cope. Having activities/self work has helped a lot, ive created healthy boundaries with myself while remaining completely open in expressing myself. Perfection doesn’t exist So here I am having a hard time tolerating… tolerating that they aren’t physically here… yet?. …also I sincerely hate intrusive OCD. At least I grinned at this meme 🥴. I’m going to 💤 ✌🏼 yall.

I'm truly doing my best to let these thoughts exist and to not engage with them, but it's so hard because the lingering feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety are still there. does anyone have any tips on how to combat this? any encouraging advice?

my parents don’t understand that a seemingly small and snide comment about my body will ruminate in my brain for months and months and be a never ending source of why i hate myself more and more everyday. I don’t know how to get them to understand as they are not in my shoes. I am overweight, not morbidly obese but I struggle to find the will to work out and improve myself, but i know this isn’t the motivation i need.

*PLEASE READ* I’ve been struggling with bad harm intrusive thoughts for a couple years now. They’ll go away for a couple of months then get triggered by something and start all over again. As much as I try to tell myself that I would never act on these thoughts I have a memory from when I was little that I was going to hurt my parents in their sleep and that memory has haunted me till now. Of course I didn’t hurt them but I thought it and I feel so guilty about it today that it makes me sick to my stomach. I love my parents so much and would never want to hurt them or anybody. I just want these thoughts to go away because they don’t line up with my values of who I am. But every time I tell myself that my thoughts are not facts that memory pops up making me feel like an awful person. I feel right now as if I don’t deserve any love from anyone because of these thoughts. I’m a believer of God and I feel as if I don’t deserve his love as well and that he has given up on me. These thoughts have also turned into a new theme of being scared I’m actually crazy and going into a psychosis. I’m just so scared and just want to be normal. As much as I tell myself ocd lies to you these thoughts have really scared me and I haven’t felt like myself in days. I’ve also struggled with health anxiety and intrusive suicidal thoughts. I know seeking reassurance isn’t good but I’m so scared.